Just 0 and 20, acting like the five-year-olds they are. Because my fans are owed a look at what they do in their free time together. ;)

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The Amazing Super Awesome Warriors of Light

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…..

The mighty Sorcerer stalked warily through the wasteland on his epic, noble quest. To his left, the fair-haired warrior Princess who was his companion stepped in time, scanning the immediate area for danger.

"What do you see, Pricness?" Sorcerer asked, impatient to hit something with his amazing Staff of Invincibility.

Princess shrugged. "Nothing much," she answered, "just piles of rubbish, and no monsters. It's pretty boring. How much longer until we find the treasure?"

"Soon, I think," Sorcerer said slowly, looking around slowly, carefully, with a trained, critical eye. Princess' father, King of the North, had entrusted them with this noble quest. He required this elusive treasure to keep his people safe, you see. But it was much too harrowing for a single sorcerer to go alone, with no protection—because everyone knows that sorcerers are great with magic, but not so great at defending themselves with weapons. So he had wisely asked Princess to accompany him; she was good at hitting and kicking things, and she had an enchanted sword.

Finally, after looking around hard for a moment, Sorcerer spotted it—sticking lopsided out of one of the piles of rubbish, hidden in plain sight, was the treasure: the tarnished but still-gleaming Chalice of Purity. Sorcerer gasped in surprise and delight to have found the sacred treasure so quickly, and ran up to examine it. Princess followed him, and watched in wonder as he pulled it out of the debris.

"Is it truly…?" she asked in wonder.

"Oh, yes," Sorcerer agreed, turning the chalice over in his hands. "This is the treasure that will keep your kingdom safe."

"Daddy will be so pleased!" she cheered, clapping her hands. "That was pretty easy. We should head home and let everyone know right away."

"Hold on, Princess. You're right. That was easy… Too easy…"

The held very still and listened carefully as rocks tumbled over each other nearby. Something was moving. Moving toward them. Fast…

And out of nowhere—BAM! There it was! A huge antlion jumped out from behind a rock, its pincers snapping hungrily. Princess cried out in alarm, and drew her enchanted sword. Sorcerer moved back, ready to cast his spells from a safer distance.

"It must have been guarding the treasure!" Princess realized.

"And now it's going to try and take it back!" Sorcerer concluded, excited. Finally, some action on what had been one boring noble quest.

"It can only try, for we shall vanquish it and save my kingdom from this monster!" Princess cheered valiantly, charging at the antlion with her sword drawn.

"Have at you!" Sorcerer added, cheering her on, and began to chant a spell. "I shall cast the spell Flame upon you!"

…..

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It had been about half an hour since 13 had sent 0 and 20 out on a fairly simple errand; but the two cousins hadn't returned yet. Now he and 9 stood in silence at the entrance to the burrow, waiting for their children to come back. 13 sighed, slightly annoyed.

"Frankly, I needed that screw yesterday," he commented, noting the position of the sun. "It was nice of them to offer to help, but…"

"Their minds are only five years old; they get distracted easily," 9 finished with a shrug, somewhat used to his son's antics. The children were probably off playing warriors again, their original mission completely abandoned.

"Perhaps we should just go find the thing ourselves, then," 13 suggested. "I'd like to have that beam fixed by tomorrow, so we can finish expanding that tunnel before the ground freezes up."

9 was about to agree to that, but a childish battle cry echoed from somewhere nearby and interrupted his line of thought. A fake, girlish scream followed it—the kind that was only for show and didn't mean any real trouble.

"I suppose we should go and see what they're doing," he said instead, and started off toward the noise. 13 followed him quickly through the yard that stretched over their burrow—much of the complex was directly beneath their feet, and 9 could guess easily at what he was walking over.

7's sharpening her spear in the den; 14's sweeping the hallway; 12 is tangled in copper wires in his bedroom-again…

Finding the small-ish 'punks wasn't difficult, with all the noise they were making:

"Paystah! Oh no! I missed!"

"That's 'cause you're a sorcerer, Sorcerer! Leave punching things to me! Oh! I missed him, too! He's a fast one, he is!"

"Try harder, Princess! You almost have him! I cast Flame! Darn, I missed again! What are we to do, Princess?"

9 and 13 found them in time for the climax of their terrific battle, taking place before an impressive pile of debris. 0 was wearing his sorcerer's costume: a scrappy, well-worn blue cape and a wing nut helmet, and a long, slightly curved stick in one hand—whenever he did, it meant was no longer 0, but the amazing Sorcerer of Light. They also noted that he held a small screw in his other hand.

Standing on the pile was 20, smacking a long, straight stick of her own against the ground, trying in vain to hit a little black ant as it scurried to and fro. Stray strands of her yellow hair kept falling in her face, and the rhinestone-on-plastic ring she wore as a tiara was falling to one side, but it didn't stop her.

"Use the Chalice of Purity! No evil monster can stand against its goodness!" she suggested.

"Great idea, Princess! Here, take it! Save your land and make your people proud!"

With that, 0 clumsily tossed the screw up to 20, who caught it just as clumsily and dropped her stick in the process. Now, with the ultimate weapon in hand, she raised it up over her head and proclaimed, "And now, monster, for the sake of my people, I shall remove thee from my land!"

Gosh darn it, she was too adorable to be taken seriously. The two fathers couldn't help but laugh, thoroughly amused. The children looked up from their play, realizing they had been caught messing around when they had been given a job to do.

"I'm curious, lovely, how do you plan to use my screw to destroy this ant?" 13 asked with a smile.

With an apologetic, sheepish look, 20 lowered the screw again, not sure what to do anymore. Instead of letting the lighthearted mood slip away completely, he walked up to the pile and scooped her up in one arm, taking the screw from her.

"Thank you both for finding this for me. Now I can do this," he said grandly, pointing the sharp end of it at the ant. "Be gone, beast!"

Seeing that the attacks had stopped, the little ant turned and scurried the heck out of there as fast as his little ant legs could carry him.

13 smiled at his daughter. "I don't think that monster will plague our land anymore, do you?"

20 grinned. "Oh, we should have known! The Chalice of Purity only works in the hands of the true king! And that's you, daddy!"

13 looked down at the screw in his hand and smiled. "Chalice of Purity, huh?"

Oh, who was he to spoil their fn and adventures?

"Thank you—both of you—for finding it for me. You've done me a great service."

"yay!" 20 cheered, clapping her hands.

"We are the most amazing warriors in the whole world, aren't we, pa?" 0 added, to his own father. To this, 9 reached down and patted his head with a laugh.

"Yes, indeed. The world needs more warriors, I suppose, with all the wild ants wandering around, these days."

0 grinned and dashed off, leading the way back to the burrow. 20 wriggled out of her father's arms and raced after her cousin.

"That's right!" she laughed. "We are the Amazing Super Awesome Warriors of Light, 0!"

"Nothing can stand in our way, 20! Nothing, I say!"

As they ran ahead together, their fathers strolled after them at a more leisurely pace, enjoying their children's spirit.

"Well, that's fine with me," 13 commented. "After all, we have Amazing Super Awesome Warriors of Light in our family. Now we are safe from everything."