Oooh it's my first Robin Hood fic, hello readers! This is just a little something that I wrote at about 2am this morning after watching 'Get Carter' again on TV on demand. Angst-tastic, it was originally gonna be written from Much's side (because of my Much-love) but it kinda ended up as Robin-y. Inspired by 'you've never held me like that' - we all hope that one day soon, he will!
'You've never held me like that.'
It was true. He hadn't. Not even in the holy land, when they'd been lying together at night and he could feel Much shaking with the force of suppressed sobs. He'd wanted to comfort his dear friend, who he knew would stay with him no matter what, dear, loyal Much, but he didn't.
Now they were back in England, home (even if it was in the forest), neither of them spoke very much about the war, what they'd seen there, been through. It was mentioned in passing alright, but that was all, in passing. As though it were no big deal.
Much wanted to talk about it, to let it out. Robin didn't. So Much didn't either, perhaps trying to prove he wasn't weak, something he'd actually proved a long time ago. He tried to prove he was strong by not needing to talk about it, keeping it to himself (and it was about the only thing he kept to himself), like Robin. But Robin wasn't strong, for exactly that reason. Much wanted to talk about it, come to terms with it, but Robin didn't, he was scared, scared of facing up to everything. What happened to him, what he did..
It was different with Carter. Although he wasn't good at expressing it, he felt very close to Much – you can't fight side by side with someone and not feel like that, even if he hadn't been your friend and servant for years before that. He wasn't close to Carter, he'd only met him a few hours ago, but empathised with him because they'd both fought in the holy land, if not together. They were brothers in arms, but strangers in life.
He could hold Carter like that, comfort him, and still keep himself closed off. He knew he couldn't do that with Much, he knew that if he let himself be close to him like that it would all come out, and he didn't know how easily he'd be able to shut it all away again.
He could hold Carter like that, but not Much. Not yet.
Please review my lovelies!