The Most Difficult Thing
Author's Note: Tristan is the only character appearing I can claim, the rest belong to the BBC and the networks who ran the Ghost and Mrs. Muir. Thank you, Mary, for helping me work out the ending, editing, etc. Thanks to the inventors of these characters for inspiration, and to God for basically everything. This story takes place immediately following Doomsday (finale of series 2) in Doctor Who, and sometime in 83 for the Day On universe. Since Doc and Rose have visited the Day On world, it seemed only right to reflect such a major event in that universe. Even if you haven't seen it, her departure has made the news, so I hope I'm not spoiling anything.
His mind had still been on a beach, that must be why the TARDIS landed here. "You miss her too, don't you, old girl?" The Doctor asked his ship. No answer was forthcoming, nor was it needed. Sadly, he began walking down the endless sands, not caring what time period or planet he was on. It was not the Eye of Orion. His mood was too disconsolate to even be helped by the most peaceful spot in the universe anyway. To the naked eye, he was totally alone with his memories, and truly, it had been a long time since he had felt this isolated. Yes, there had been the time he left his granddaughter, Susan, behind. Or Leela, Romana the Second, or Grace. The awful emptiness after Adric died, or when Tegan walked out for good, but none of those losses compared to the present. Nor did Gallifrey's death. When the agony of regeneration had completed its transforming work, he had risen in his new body with a mission, to clean up the chaos resultant from the loss of the Time Lords. That quest had sent him chasing the Nestene Consciousness, and right into Rose Tyler's life. He had lost her before, or thought he had, but never believed it, except when he had forced her and the TARDIS to leave him on Gamestation. Then, the ache had been bad, but it had the satisfaction of being the right thing to do, had set him free to destroy everything, if that was what it took to blow the Dalek's out of existence. Besides, the plan had been to die, to be ex-term-in-at-ed, galling though that end would be. But, he had not planned on Rose or the TARDIS, much less on Jackie and Mickey helping her save his life.
This last year, he had done so many things wrong, lost the TARDIS multiple times, nearly stranded Rose on other worlds, in other times, and now she was in another universe.
At least she had her dad, in a manner of speaking. He had always known that reuniting the two of them would end their time together.
How long he sat there was unknown, until a huge, horse of a dog ran up, barking in glee. It had a nose, so he was NOT on the planet Barcelona.
"Hey, I know you," he exclaimed, leaning over to pet the exuberant creature. "Carolina- no, Dakota! That must mean - " The Doctor's head jerked up, scanning shore until he saw a woman a few feet behind the dog.
"Kota! You aren't supposed to jump on people like - " the middle-aged, attractive blonde scolded, breaking off when she saw who was the object of her dog's affection. "Doctor!"
"Hullo, Carolyn Gregg," he forced a smile to his countenance as he scrambled to his feet. "How are you?"
"Fine. Better question, how are YOU?" Her sharp-eyed gaze instantly detected the young old man's sorrow. Hanging around with ghosts did increase one's sensitivity level, after all.
"Oh, you know, just same old, same old. Worlds need saving, so I jump in and tell them what to do." He jammed his hands in his pockets. "Nothing much."
"Uh-huh," Carolyn's voice was replete with skepticism. "Right. What happened, and where is Rose?"
The alien visitor looked away, turning his gaze back over the ocean. "Do me a favor. Make sure no one in your family visits a major city in the summer of 2006, okay?"
"I'll tell Siegfried to remind us in a bit over twenty years," she promised. "Since his memory is perfect. What happens then?"
For a second, it seemed he would not answer, then the reply came, very casually. "Every major city will be invaded by Cybermen, for an hour or two. Lots of people will die. London was and will be the hardest hit. The Daleks show up there. Small place, like Schooner Bay- neither will have time to get to here, or Skeldale. You might consider gathering together for a few hours when the 'ghosts' attack. Fake ghosts, that is. It's very insulting, really, to call those shadowy - things - ghosts. Really."
Carolyn sat down on the rock beside the Doctor. Very patiently, she pointed out, "You are making no sense."
"She told me that, once. I had some silly answer about maybe I never would again. I don't think I will this time. Why should I? Life doesn't."
"How did she die?" Carolyn decided to be direct. Daniel had taught her that sometimes bluntness was more useful than tact, and caused less confusion.
"She didn't. Weeelllll, officially, she did, but not really. No, she's just - gone. In another universe, one I can't get to. Her, Jackie, Pete, yeah- her dad's alive there, and Mickey the idiot, but he might be calling himself Ricky. Everyone but me. I don't suppose there's a me there? Could be, I guess. I hope I'm not still in the clown stage. That was awful. I didn't even like myself, well, my other selves did not like me. I bet my last self is ticked at me. I would be."
Sighing, Carolyn got to her feet. "Come on. Come inside with me. Daniel will want to see you, and you don't need to be alone right now."
The Doctor turned to look at her again. "I guess the TARDIS agrees with you. I didn't pick any coordinates, just headed out into space."
"Well, then don't argue. Just come along."
"I wasn't arguing!"
"Good."
A light breeze carried the scent of rain as they headed up the path to the Cottage. Daniel Gregg met them at the door. The ghost's expression of welcome turned troubled as he noted the Doctor's utter moroseness. Carolyn gave her husband a look that told him to be patient, not his favorite thing to be, but sometimes necessary.
"Good afternoon, Doctor," the Captain merely said. "Should I summon Blackwood?"
The Time Lord shrugged. "Up to you."
"I'll get you some tea," Carolyn offered. They still kept some on hand, although Lord Dashire spent more time at home, now that he was married.
The hot drink was barely made when Daniel abruptly popped to the door. Opening it, he beamed, "Candy. What brings you here at this unusual hour?"
"Your publisher just sent new contracts for the foreign rights to your and Mom's last collaboration, and thanks to the turtle impression the mail does at times, they have to be signed sooner, not later. So, the boss told me to hustle them over here. Besides, I haven't seen you two in a few days."
Daniel nodded, then dropped his voice, "The Doctor is here."
"Lynne? Is Mom okay?"
"Not your mother-in-law, and Carolyn is fine."
It took a moment, then Candy grinned. "Oh! That Doctor."
Before the Captain could explain that it was not, apparently, a fun visit, the young woman was barging into the living room. She stopped when she saw who was not there. Wincing, she went over to hug her mother and hand her the brown envelope, then walked over to the Doctor, who was glumly stirring his tea.
"I'm sorry, Doctor," she said softly.
"Wha- Oh- Candy. Sorry? What about?"
"Rose- is she -? " Candy said slowly, not quite able to finish the thought.
"Not as far as I know. Sit. I'll tell you all, at once. Get it over with."
Some instinct made Candy and Daniel sit close to Carolyn; Daniel so that he could provide at least a metaphorical shield against what he could sense was a terrible tale, Candy wanting the comfort of her parents' touch.
Swallowing a lump in his throat, the Doctor poured out the story of the fake ghosts, the battle at Torchwood, and the final, agonizing moments during which Rose had been ripped out of his life. "So, I have two hearts, both broken," he concluded.
"Do you know if she made it to that other universe all right?" Carolyn asked, squeezing Candy's hand as she thought of the other mother and daughter who had gone through so much.
"Yes. After the battle, I spent some time at Torchwood, looking over the records, seeing what areas of the Earth sustained damage and loss of life. I needed to know if any of my old friends from any life were part of the carnage. That's how I know you all will be all right. And, I wanted to see if there was any scavenged tech that could help me find her again. I even considered if there was a way to change history, to stop it all before it began, but I knew that would not be a good idea, even if I want to be. There was nothing useful. Weapons, lots of those. Lots of space junk that they had not figured out was worthless. Finally gave up when I found where they had hidden the TARDIS. With that, I was able to locate one tiny crack in infinity." He held up his thumb and forefinger a scant space apart. "Very minuscule. It took three months and a supernova, but yeah, I was able to contact her. She's going to have a little brother or sister. " The Doctor forced his face to brighten as he wagged a finger at Carolyn. "You and Dashire corrupted me, you did. Turned me into a matchmaker. A successful one, but the indignity of it. A Time Lord being - an extra in Fiddler on the Roof." The effort at humor fell flat. "I haven't been this depressed since the Time War. Took me nine years after that to face life again."
"Has it been nine years for you, then?" Captain Gregg asked, adjusting his sleeves thoughtfully. It was difficult to figure how to refer to time when talking to someone who traveled in it.
"Not even nine days since I left her standing on a beach in Norway, in another universe, but still Norway. There was a bit of a dust-up with a stowaway on the TARDIS, but it has been handled."
"Poor Rose," Candy commented.
"What about ME?" the Doctor demanded in surprise. "Here am I, nine hundred years of traveling, never once fell in love, well there was that day in San Francisco, but I had amnesia. Not sure it counts. And, then, out of the blue, I go and find someone, and ...don't even get to tell her."
"Yes, poor Rose. Sheesh. Trust me on this, it is not easy to go from being in love with or loved by a more than normal guy to settle for - ordinary. Especially when you don't know if it was mutual." The girl's blue eyes blazed with the fire of an old hurt.
"Would I burn up a star just to say good-bye if I didn't? She knew."
"Yeah, and she also has always known you would come find her again, rescue her if she needed it. She could always count on you, even after you did that whole face changing thing," Candy insisted. "She and I had a few minutes to talk at Christmas when you were here. She was getting used to the idea of you being you, even if she did not know if you loved her or just liked her. She needs to know."
"What good will it do either of us?" the alien argued.
"If you mean them, then those three words are never wasted." Candy swallowed. "Even if it feels like it's too late."
"So, she'll know I love her, and I know she loves me, but we're in the wrong universes. Now, all I have to do is - find another star to burn up to deliver a message!" Now, he sounded angry. "You lot are used to miracles. There aren't any for me."
"You have had a lot of miracles, lad," Daniel said gravely. "From the sound of things. That ship of yours qualifies, finding someone to love is more of one. It also seems that you and the girl have defied the term impossible on multiple occasions. She will surely expect it to happen again."
"Lad? Captain, might I remind you that my age exceeds yours at least six times over. When I was a hundred and fifty, I was still in school."
"It is not my fault you look like a pup," the ghost retorted. "Your numbers are off. One hundred forty." The dignified spirit lifted his chin in offense.
"I was in school then, too." If anything, the thought made the Doctor look more morose. There is little more depressing that to see someone who is normally hyper-perky turn downcast, Carolyn thought as she observed this. "School's gone. Planet's gone. Rose is gone." He rubbed a hand over his face. "Why do you have to lose someone or something to know how much they matter?"
"Doctor," Carolyn said gently, "we are used to miracles because there is a lot of love in our family, and when you love someone, anything is possible. Even miracles."
"Especially miracles," the Captain echoed.
The Gallifreyan lifted his head to debate the point, then froze. Inclining his head, he seemed to be listening. "Do you hear that?"
Before anyone could answer, he said, "I've heard that before- on Platform One and Satellite Five, Gamestation, whatever they want to call it. And ... on the beach. By Bad Wolf Bay."
Now, the family could hear the surreal tones of a woman singing without true words as well. The Doctor bolted to his feet and out the door with the Captain, Carolyn, and Candy following as he ran headlong towards the battered, blue phone booth parked on the shore. The TARDIS glowed eerily, a light shot either from its interior to the sky, or vice versa.
"Stay back," he called to the ghost and two humans. The sonic screwdriver was out and held as another man might have a pistol at the ready.
Seconds passed, the luminosity faded, and the door swung open with a creak to let a familiar young blonde step outside.
For once, despite having the use of five million forms of communication, the Doctor was speechless.
"Miss Tyler? Rose?" Daniel asked for him.
"Oi. Shoulda known you'd wind up in Schooner Bay after we met Doomsday head-on! Now, he's what a ghost oughta look like!" Rose grinned, then broke into a run. Halfway up the beach, she ran into the Doctor's welcoming embrace. He lifted her off her feet and spun her around, laughing. Then, they walked back to the waiting crew.
"How did you manage to return?" Daniel asked.
"Will your family be coming, too?" Carolyn added.
"I'm not sure how," Rose confessed. "I- felt a pull, like when the TARDIS opened for me to look inside, and just knew that if I wanted, I could go to him. But, I did have a moment to say good-bye to Mum, Dad, Mickey, and Daisy, my little sister. I guess she probably didn't know I left." Her smile was a little sad. "But, y'know, the Torchwood there had lots of gizmos, and I found a better superphone." She pulled out a gadget that Daniel seriously doubted was a phone, but if she wanted to call the thing that, fine by him. "It's signal can carry to the other universe. I had thought maybe, I could call ya up, so I had it with me. It's even a camera phone. So, I can see them, too. No touching, but - can't have it all."
"And, the touching part might work out, in time," Carolyn smirked, winking at her husband.
"Right," Rose sniffed.
"You are sure about this?" the Doctor asked, searching her face. "Your family is all- gone."
"Told ya once, you're stuck with me, so get used to it. Besides, maybe there's one or more people I can call family?"
"Certainly," the Captain nodded as the Doctor echoed his affirmative.
"Uh- I was declared dead ... "
"So, we won't settle down in the Powell Estates. Probably be off planet too much to worry about it," the Doctor shrugged.
"And, Adam's good with red tape," Candy volunteered on behalf of her boss and friend. "If you do need to be legally alive."
"See, we have it all taken care of. I'll just let the good Mr. Pierce hack into the database using the TARDIS computer, and voila," the Doctor nodded.
"Twenty-odd years from now?"
"Well, your phone can work miracles, and the TARDIS computer is light-years ahead of that little gem-crack thing."
"Gem-crack?"
"Compared to the height of Gallifreyan technology."
The pair shared a laugh, then turned to look at their friends. "Well, I think we'll be off," the Doctor grinned. "For now. Thank you, all of you."
"We didn't do anything," Carolyn protested.
"Yeah, you did. You listened, you talked to me straight and hard, and let me believe in miracles again."
"Anytime," Candy smiled.
After the time ship had faded away, the young woman looked at her watch. "I don't suppose the Time Lord could have handed out some time. Adam will kill me. I'm late. So - "
"We will sign and get you on the road," her step-dad assured her. "Not that I have any fear that Adam will do you harm."
Minutes later, the Captain and his lady were back inside, alone again. "That was a lovely experience. Brings back a memory or two," she mused.
"What?" a new voice asked, as Tristan Matthews, Seaman first class, appeared in their living room.
"What brings you here?" Daniel asked.
"You're always welcome, of course," Mrs. Gregg added.
"Right," the Captain agreed.
"I had a feeling that someone was upset. Not the first time someone here has given off vibes," the younger ghost shrugged. "Would have been along sooner, but I got drafted into babysitting. It does not appear there is trouble. Was I wrong?"
"No," Daniel shook his head, then filled him in.
Tristan rocked on his heels, pondering. "That Doctor fellow seemed a little - coltish, childish even, back at Christmas. Please don't say it's a case of glasshouse residents throwing stones, sir."
"I had no intention of it. He did seem more mature, when thought he had lost Rose."
"That's what one would expect," Tristan smiled pensively. "Exactly what I would expect, in fact."