Notes: Very much based around the anime, so warnings of spoilers: Many, many spoilers and is taken from Souji and Hijikata's different perspectives. Angsty, but with a sweet ending ;) As for the little stars dotted here and there, check the bottom of the story for the reference of episode and explanation =)

I do not own Peacemaker Kurogane in any way shape or form, and if I did, you'd certainly know about it ;) there would be so much more male-male loving, I swear

The song used is Sara Bareilles' 'Gravity, that I don't own either, but I think it's a cracking song and perfect for this two, as well as being the source name for the fic XD just because it's so apt lol.

Now a shout-out too to jennifer100, thank you for reminding me how awesome HijOki are and how much I love them! You're a star and a very good friend! =D

I hope you enjoy the story =)

Souji POV

1st verse:

Something always brings me back to you

It never takes too long

No matter what I settle to do

I still feel you here, 'til the moment I'm gone

You hold me without touch

Keep me without chains

I never wanted anything so much

To drown in your love, and not feel your rain

I guess I let my feelings get a little too ahead of me. Hijikata-san, I don't think he'll ever see me the way that I want him to. Yet, instinctively, I also know that I'm closer to him than anyone else – but still at arms' length. He truly is like that beautiful snow that never melts*.

It's been more than a decade since I've known him, been under his wing. My loyalty is unquestionable. Even in the killing of Senzawa-san, I felt nothing. Hijikata-san deemed it right, part of our higher orders, so did I. That was all there was to it.

However, I do take some pride in being the one who can tease and influence Hijikata-san so much, or dare I say, perhaps, even the most? That maybe a slight step out of line, but… he allowed Tetsu-kun to enrol in the Shinsengumi because of me, did he not? It was because I had 'wished' it that he made it so.

Of course, I got scolded for being… too enthusiastic during my duel with Tetsu-kun, but… I got my way in the end.

Thinking about it now, I always do. This pleases me.

Maybe Hijikata-san isn't so far away, after all? Maybe my feelings are requited to hopefully the extent that I want them to be.

Glancing to my sliding doors, I smile. Perhaps it's time to pay Hijikata-san a 'surprise' visit.

* From Episode 15 when Souji stole Hijikata's haiku book and he himself made a haiku at the end, which was just awesome.

And that for now, is the first chapter and I'm a little nervous since this is my first HijOki, so go easy! Lol. Next chapter is from Hiji's POV ;)

Let me know what you think =)

Dragonfly

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