A/N: Decided to write a new story with a slightly lighter tone than my last one. Set somewhere around Seasons 2-3 but the only possible spoiler is for The Long Goodbye. This one is CJ/Toby and I'd appreciate your feedback!
Rating: M (in later chapters)
Disclaimer: Tragically, they're not mine.
A very tanned Carol met CJ the moment she got in the door of the West Wing. Her boss was dressed for the warm weather in a cap-sleeved dark pink blouse and black A-line skirt with sling-back sandals.
"Hi, boss," Carol greeted with a smile, "Have a good vacation?"
"Great," she replied unenthusiastically as she headed to her office, Carol following at her heels.
"Now that you and Josh are back Leo wants senior staff at eleven. And Hogan called to let you know she got into that writing program you were helping her apply for."
"That's great! Remind me later today if I haven't had time to call her back." They rounded the corner to CJ's office and CJ started unpacking the files from her briefcase.
"How about you? Did you enjoy your time off? You look good. Get some beach time in?" CJ asked. Carol beamed.
"It was great. Two weeks with nothing but me, the sand and the Gulf of Mexico."
"So you're not really sharing my happiness at getting back to work, huh?"
"Not so much." Just then Josh stuck his head in the office door. CJ couldn't help but notice he sported a tan even darker than Carol's.
"Hey," he said. "You know senior staff's at eleven, right?" He passed behind Carol and took a seat on the couch.
"Yes," CJ said, "And what is it with you people? Am I the only one in the West Wing who couldn't be in a Club Med commercial right now?"
"Well you could," Josh suggested, "You'd be the before picture." CJ glared at him.
"Thanks. Good to see you, too."
"So you guys are back," observed Sam, appearing in the doorway.
"I'm gonna go work on my email backlog," Carol said, excusing herself.
"Sam," CJ said. "Thank God there's someone else in this building who looks as pale as I do."
"Yes, but I wasn't on vacation," Sam pointed out. "Andrew and Jack did ok with the briefings when you were gone. No major screw-ups. Oh, and the President's been back from Manchester since Friday and I hear he wants to roll out some feel-good announcement."
"On what?" Josh asked.
"I don't know. But it's good to have you both back. Did you bring me anything from Maui?" he asked Josh.
"Only the finest Hawaiian-print shirt in the entire state," Josh said. "It's in my office. All I can say is it's too bad we don't have casual Fridays around here, because this shirt would be your MVP."
"Nothing for your friend CJ?" she asked, faking hurt.
"They didn't have anything in extra-extra-tall," he deadpanned. She stuck her tongue out at him and he broke into a smile. "Just kidding. I brought you back that coffee you wanted. How was Dayton?" Josh replied.
"It was fine," CJ said, quickly changing the subject: "Have you seen Toby?"
"I think he's with Leo," Sam said, "You know he was in every day for at least six hours and when he wasn't I think he was at the Library of Congress."
"Yeah. There is a guy who is not good at taking a vacation," Josh commented.
I know how that feels, thought CJ.
Donna came up behind Sam. "Josh? I have Congresswoman Thompson on the phone for you. She said you were expecting her call?" Josh stood and headed for the door.
"Yeah. Thanks, Donna."
"Good to see you, CJ," Donna said before heading down the hall behind Josh.
"I should let you get organized," said Sam before turning and heading back to his own office. CJ sat down at her desk and turned on her computer. Checking her email she saw she had ninety-four messages to wade through. She clicked open the first one. After a vacation like hers, she couldn't wait to get back to work.
-~-
When she got to Leo's office later that morning Toby was already there, sitting on the sofa, writing in a legal pad. He looked up when she came in. He noticed she looked tired.
"Hey," she smiled. "How's it going?" She came over and took a seat next to him.
"Fine. How was Dayton?"
"Ok. Well, it rained the whole time. Some kind of freak weather system." He saw through her, knew she was avoiding the question he was really asking.
"How was your dad?" She sighed and looked down at her hands resting in her lap.
"Not good," she said after a minute, "At one point when Michael was there Dad tried to ground him. He kept getting ready in the morning as if was going to work. I spent the whole time reminding him I'm his daughter and trying to make sure he didn't do anything that could accidentally get him killed," she said, voice strained. She looked up at him, saw the compassion and empathy in his dark eyes. "But then there was this one point," she continued, voice barely above a whisper and then she stopped suddenly, hearing someone come in.
"CJ, good to have you back," Leo said with a smile, heading around to take a seat at his desk. "How was your vacation?"
"Good. Well, rainy," she responded. Toby marvelled at how she erased all indication of the sadness that had been evident a few minutes earlier.
"This one point?" he prodded softly. Sam and Josh were coming in and Leo was distracted, but she waved him off.
"Never mind."
"Good to have everyone back," Leo said, starting the meeting. Sam took a seat in the guest chair and Josh stood behind him. "As you know, the President's been back for a couple of days and like every time he goes on vacation he comes up with a new policy idea for us to put out there. He wants to see everyone in the Oval at four-thirty to discuss it."
"What is it?" Josh asked.
"I'm not sure what he's settled on, but a feel-good announcement of some kind. Reinvesting in public broadcasting or community health centres, forest rangers or something like that," Leo said.
"It's not a bad idea for this time of year," Sam said, "Helps inoculate against the view that we're only responsive rather than proactive. Of course there are bigger things we could be using to show that."
"Yeah, and we'll do those things. But the President says this will be something people can get in the short-term. But until we find out what it is, let's continue. CJ, I understand you might be getting some questions today about US-Canada border issues?"
"So I hear. Apparently the Prime Minister wants us to lift the ban on Canadians with HIV visiting the United States."
"There's a ban?" Josh said.
"Yes and we'd support lifting it but I'm not sure we'll get the legislative backing. And I don't think we want the media spending too much time on the issue either way," Leo replied. "Got something else to give them instead, CJ?"
"We commissioned a report on the state of the Pacific salmon fishery that just came back, but I haven't seen how we plan to deal with the results," CJ replied.
"Say we just got it back and we're studying the recommendations, which upon first glance look like they support the urgency of the President's environmental action plan. Say that we're confident the report will give the House and Senate even more reason to work with us to pass the action plan," instructed Toby. CJ nodded, making notes on her legal pad.
"I just saw a thing out of California that said wine exports have risen dramatically thanks to the trade agreement we helped negotiate," Sam suggested.
"Ok, that's good," Leo said. "Josh, did Congresswoman Thompson get back to you about her standardized testing amendment?"
"Yes, and I think she's going to be willing to drop it if the President supports building a new federal courthouse in her district."
"Weren't we going to do that anyway? I heard the old one was in pretty rough shape," Sam asked.
"Yeah, but she didn't know that," Josh said.
"Ok, good. That's all I had for now. If no one else has anything I'll see you at four-thirty," Leo said, "Josh, can I see you a minute?" Josh stayed behind while the rest of them headed back towards their offices. In the hall Toby took CJ's elbow and manoeuvred her back behind Sam.
"Come over later for a drink. You can finish what you were going to say earlier," he suggested in a low voice. She hadn't realized until he said it that she'd wanted him to ask. She knew from experience how these things went with him: something about his dark, sad eyes, his quiet compassion, and a couple glasses of wine always pulled secrets out of her she didn't know she had.
"Yeah, ok."
Other people had therapists; CJ had Toby, although she doubted other people felt the overwhelming urge to kiss their therapists after a session. Of course, the one time she'd followed through on that, her timing had been so off she was surprised he'd ever asked her back. But that was years ago and many other mistakes had been made and forgiven since then.
-~-
"I was walking on the farm a little over a week ago in Manchester. And I got to thinking about a time in this country's past: a time when America faced threats from abroad and division here at home, a time when many, many Americans struggled to put food on the table. It was a time when the national mood was characterized by uncertainty and doubt, when people watched their dreams and livelihoods go up in smoke, or blow away like the dust covering their barren fields." President Bartlet paused and looked around at his senior staff sitting on the Oval Office sofas, meeting each of their eyes.
"When we were on the campaign we talked about making a new pact with the American people. Another New Deal, if you will. Now we're here and I know a lot of times it seems like that dream is lost in the dust as well. But we have to recapture the ideals that brought us here. And one way we can do that is by re-investing in our National Parks," he finished, looking around to see some tentative nodding from his audience.
"Did you have any specific plans, Sir?" Leo asked.
"I wanted to get your feedback first, but the last report the Parks Service sent us says they have a maintenance backlog that will take over 7 billion dollars to clear. I'm not saying we can get that, but we have to do something real, something major."
"Well I think it'll play well in our target areas," Sam said.
"Yes and I agree parks are good policy, but with all due respect, Mr. President, we're already pulling pretty hard to get the votes needed for your environmental action plan. It's going to be hard to convince the blue dogs and the moderate Republicans to go in for increased spending on another environmental policy at the same time," Josh pointed out.
"It's not about the environment; it's about economics. It's about labour. It's about creating good-quality jobs that will also be good for America. More than that, it's about our identity. It's about the idea that the most historically important and naturally beautiful areas of our country should be preserved and made available to everyone, not just the most privileged among us," Bartlet argued.
"I'll look at the numbers, see what I can find," Josh offered, conceding the point.
"When are you planning to announce?" CJ asked.
"I'd like to have something together for mid-September. And I'd like to visit one of the nearby parks, make the announcement there." The President was greeted with blank stares. "Please tell me you know the nearby National Parks."
"I know we're technically in one now," Sam offered.
"Well that wasn't quite what I had in mind. Please tell me someone on my senior staff other than Leo has spent at least one night in one of our many outstanding National Parks, of whose value I've just been speaking so highly. And sleeping on your office couch doesn't count." Toby looked down at his notepad. Josh and Sam exchanged guilty looks.
"I sort of remember going camping at a National Park when I was a Boy Scout," Sam suggested. Toby snorted.
"I thought Orange County Boy Scouts' idea of roughing it was going 24 hours without air conditioning."
"So I suppose you can tell me about all your many wonderful National Park experiences, Toby," Bartlet prodded. Toby looked sheepish.
"I once visited Mount Rushmore. And whenever I fly over the Grand Canyon I very much appreciate the views."
"Four or five years ago my dad and my brothers and I went camping for almost a week at Cuyahoga Valley National Park in northern Ohio. It was a...special experience," CJ said wistfully.
"I'm glad someone in here has some basic understanding of what I'm talking about. CJ, you're in charge of finding me a location for the announcement."
"Yes, Sir."
"All right, people. Let's make this happen," The President ordered.
-~-
"You've flown over the Grand Canyon?" CJ snickered. She was sitting with her legs folded underneath her on the sofa in Toby's dimly lit living room, a nearly empty glass of red wine in her hand. Toby set down his glass of whisky on the table beside him and leaned forward in his armchair.
"I admit more brilliant things have come out of my mouth. But you didn't come over to make fun of me."
"I never have to make a plan to do that," she grinned and reached over to the bottle of wine on the side table to refill her glass. She took a drink, looking at Toby over the rim of her glass. His eyes looked straight into hers, waiting her out. She sighed. "I took my dad for a walk. It had stopped raining for a bit and I thought the air might do him good. It did. He was remembering better and he was asking me about my job and about the President. But he started getting tired after about ten minutes and we headed back." CJ paused and took another drink of wine, trying to swallow the tightness in her throat. Toby just kept waiting patiently, his attention entirely on her.
She continued, "We saw his next-door neighbour out in his yard and he says, 'Hi, Tal. Nice break in the weather.' And I could tell my dad didn't remember this guy who'd lived next to him for decades. But he waved and we headed up our steps and we're standing at the front door and I've got my hand on the doorknob and he grabs my sleeve and says, 'Claudia Jean, you can't let me live like this anymore.'" Her voice broke and a tear slid down her cheek. Toby came over to sit beside her on the sofa. He wanted to, but he didn't reach up to brush away the tear. He wasn't sure if that would be crossing a line. She looked at him, eyes wet and he felt his heart fracture at the sadness he saw reflected there.
"Did you tell Michael?" he asked gently.
"Yes. He bit my head off. He doesn't want to let go. Neither do I! But I wouldn't want to live like that, either. Would you?"
"No," Toby admitted. She swallowed hard. He wanted to take her in his arms, let her sadness seep into him so she didn't need to feel it herself. But he just squeezed her shoulder briefly and stood up to move back to the armchair, where hopefully some physical distance would stop him from doing anything stupid.
"Anyway, I can't do anything about it. I can't do anything," she said softly, trying to regain her composure. She wiped her cheek with the back of her hand.
"Some vacation, huh?" he observed wryly. She gave him a weak smile.
"I heard you didn't get much of one, either," she said.
"I got a lot of reading in."
"But seeing Josh and Carol all tanned and relaxed don't you wish you had another two weeks to go lie on a beach somewhere?"
"Hmm, I'm not really a beach person."
"I would never have guessed," she said dryly.
-~-
"National Parks," mused Toby between puffs on his cigar, enjoying how the smoke cleared his head after the whiskey-induced haze. He was leaning back in the armchair and CJ was lying curled on her side on the couch looking at him foggily, the nearly empty bottle of wine on the floor in front of her.
"National Parks," she repeated. "You know, I should be more grateful for the good times with my dad. Like that time we went camping. I should remember that more." She watched Toby blowing smoke rings, imagined her mouth on his, sharing the taste of the cigar and whiskey, feeling his tongue warm against hers and his beard scratching her chin. She tried to will herself to snap out of those thoughts. She knew it must be late and she worried she'd already stayed too long but her body felt heavy with the wine and she didn't want to move. "What time is it?"
"Two-thirty." he replied, reading the clock behind her.
"I should go," she said, slowly starting to move up to a sitting position, feeling dizzy.
"Yeah, ok," he acknowledged a hint of disappointment in his voice he hoped she wouldn't pick up on. "But you can't drive. Stay there and I'll call you a cab," he suggested, putting his cigar in the ashtray before going into the kitchen to use the phone. A couple minutes later he brought her out a tall glass of water.
"Thanks," she said, taking it from him. After she drank the water she got up. "I'm gonna get my shoes." He followed her into the front hall and pushed aside the front curtain to look into the street as she leaned down to put on her sandals.
"I think your taxi's here." She stood up and turned to him.
"Thank you," she said, and he knew she was thanking him for more than just calling her a cab.
"Anytime," he said sincerely.
"You know what, Toby?" she said.
"What?"
She reached up and placed a hand lightly on his cheek, smiling. "Somehow I'm going to find a way we can both make up for this year's depressing vacations." He smiled back and instead of saying something sarcastic, he just replied truthfully, "That sounds good."
He watched her get into the taxi, then shut the door and stood in the hallway. He raised a hand to the place she had touched his face and tried to recapture the feeling of her fingers on his skin.
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