TOW Joey Speaks French. - One shot fic.
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This is a deeper insight into the feelings of both Ross and Rachel in the episode 'TOW Joey speaks french', where Rachel told Ross they were 'never off the table.'
The story focuses on what we didnt see in the episode itself, but also includes the original script from what we did see on screen.
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Rachel's fathers house
The soft breeze blew into her window as she was falling asleep in her bedroom, it was a warm summers evening and Rachel could barely sleep with the cover over her, she kept tossing and turning due to the uncomfortable temperature, and her mind was wandering over the evenings happenings. It felt so strange to be back at her house, but without her family, especially her father not being there. She felt almost alone, but she wasnt as Ross was sleeping downstairs out of his own choice.
She felt so embarrassed, and she was starting to feel quite pathetic as she played over the moment in her mind again, she must have seemed so desperate in his eyes which she didnt wish to admit she was, but no sex for almost 2 years was starting to set in, she was only woman afterall.
She dreaded to think about what would be said in the morning, maybe he wouldnt mention it again, but she knew there would be awkward tension somehow after what had happened because she had made such a show of herself infront of the guy who probably knew more about her than she herself did, but she couldnt quite understand why he turned her down. She began to feel paranoid now, getting even more hot and bothered as she tossed yet again, maybe he didnt fancy her anymore like he used to, or maybe he still hadnt forgave her for the whole Joey thing.
Her mind continued to wander...and her eyes flickered with confusion, the worst thing was knowing he was downstairs possibly awake too, possibly wondering what was going on with her, all of a sudden she was offering herself on a plate to him...if there was ever going to be another chance for them two, she had possibly blown it now. She had been thinking about their relationship for a while now, ever since her and Joey ended their week relationship, but she would never have persued anything...but the night's situation had brought out her vulnerabilty to which she hoped Ross would endure. But he didnt, and what a fool she felt.
Ross was watching the TV downstairs on mute, he was just staring at the screen as he didnt feel like sleeping at all, it had only been an hour since he had left Rachel's room. He was starting to feel slightly guilty and he wondered whether he had made the right decision, he would never have thought that she would have wanted to spend the night with him again after all that time, but it didnt matter now how much he was regretting his decision, it was for the wrong reasons and they would have woke the next morning wishing they hadnt and that wasnt what Ross needed right now, he wondered where it had started to become so complicated.
He felt strange sitting downstairs in her house, he had only been there once in his life when he was 18 years old, when he had been kindly invited to Rachel's birthday party, he was so overly pleased with himself that day as he always figured she didnt care, but most of the party he spent on his own looking over at Chip Matthews with his arm around Rachel, her laughing at his jokes. Back then, he would never have thought he would have had any chance with Rachel in the future, but he had done but he had always dreamed it to be so perfect as a teenager, and he guessed it had been at one point but now it was a huge mess, and it seemed they both avoided any confrontation with eachother these days, deep down he still loved her and he thought she possibly did too but he didnt know if it was worth it anymore of even thinking about getting back together as they were always acting stupid and messing things up.
There was nothing more he would have liked to do but curl up on the sofa and give her good company, she needed it after such a stressful day, but instead he was downstairs alone and she was in her bedroom feeling rejected, he didnt want her to feel like that at all and he dreaded to think what she would be like in the morning with him.
He got up from the sofa and thought about going back upstairs to check on her, whether that would make things worse he didnt know, but it was worth a try.
The door was closed on a jar, he could see her lying on the bed when he looked through the gap of the door, he listened carefully to hear if she was asleep, she usually let out small sighs in her sleep. He opened the door a little further, wishing for her not to wake up. He didnt know why he was in the room now, he should have just stayed downstairs but the image of her asleep on the bed was too much for him not to look at her, the truth was that he was still in love with her but he couldnt see them working things out, ever.
He stood on the spot next to her bed, staying as silent as possible to not wake her. He wished that he could just lie with her, and nothing else would have to happen, just them in the moment but they couldnt even do that anymore as it only took the smallest of cuddles or the smallest of touch for their feelings to grow back again, and he didnt want to be back there again as it hurt too much.
He wondered if she felt the same again, like they did before or whether she only wanted sex tonight,either way he had rejected her but not for the reasons she probably thought, as there wasnt anything else he would rather do but to be in touch with her body again, they were always so beautiful together and those times they had spent the night were those times when they knew what they were together and what they had, but now he couldnt afford to have just one night with her, he wanted more than just one night, he wanted forever with her but he didnt want to say anything as he had the feeling she didnt feel the same.
If only he knew...
He quietly closed the window in her room as he noticed the wind was picking up,causing the lampshade to shake slightly. He figured he better get some sleep as it was gone midnight now and they would probably be up quite early to visit her father at the hospital. He left the room, shutting the door over to how it was, making sure she didnt figure he had came back to see her in the night.
But as he left, she moved to her side and opened her eyes, she had been lying there whilst he had been in the room but she had stayed silent not to ruin the moment, a part of her had wanted to wake up and cuddle him but she was still feeling embarrassed from earlier, so embarrassed that she wasnt sure she wanted to face him tomorow, but maybe he wouldnt mention it to her.
She did wonder however why he had came to her room, she sensed that he was thinking about things, but whether they were the same things she had in her mind, she didnt quite know.
The following morning.
Rachel woke to the morning sound of birds singing outside, they sounded so happy and chirpy that it reminded her how unhappy she felt on this present day, her father was very ill and downstairs was Ross who she had practically threw herself at the night before, then she was rejected. She sat up and wondered how she would deal with Ross today, the best way was to probably not bring it up at all and to just concentrate on her father getting better.
When Ross had left the room for the second time last night when he watched her sleeping, unaware that she was awake, she felt very strange inside as her feelings from before were suddenly rushing back and she was actually contemplating whether she still had feelings for Ross, and she was even thinking about a possible future for them both, she hadnt thought about them as a couple for a long time but last night made her realise that maybe the reason why she wanted him with her overnight was because she felt comfortable with him, and it was familiar and safe. She dreaded to think what he had been thinking overnight, she bet that he wished he had never offered to come and stay with her.
"So...Rach, did the doctor tell you what he thought about your dad's progress in getting better at all?"
"Um, no..". She mustered, her face directed at the window as they were driven to the hospital in a cab.
Ross frowned, she was definately avoiding any conversation with him, which was what he guessed she would do, she was obviously still very embarrassed and to be honest, he was too.
For the rest of the journey to the hospital, neither of them spoke. They had the odd exchange of glances, but nothing more than that.
At the hospital.
They had arrived at the hospital just half an hour ago, Rachel was in the room with her father whilst Ross was outside waiting, he didnt feel like going inside there seeing as both people in there probably preferred he stayed outside anyway. "Is somebody sitting here?" he heard a female voice say, he looked up to see that it was Charlie, his ex girlfriend. "Charlie?." "Ross!" They both said as they recognised eachother, she sat down beside him, "what are you doing here?" Ross asked her, quite amazed at the coincidence of them both being here.
"My father's in hospital at the moment...it's his liver again, all that alcohol".
Ross sighed, "I'm just waiting for Rachel...her fathers in here too, he recently suffered a heart attack...so I came with her because she's been pretty distraught".
"Are you two..". Charlie said, iniating him and Rachel being a couple.
Ross shook his head, "Oh..no, we're not together..."
"Oh...sorry, I just figured you were by now thats all..." She told him, she hadnt always been a huge fan of Rachel anyway, maybe because of her history with Ross was slightly intimidating to her, Ross wasnt quite sure. "Are you still with.."
She nodded, "yeah we're still together...we're going to New Zealand soon to do some travelling actually".
Ross smiled, this was strangely unawkward which wasnt likely when you bumped into your exes, "Well...I better go and see my dad anyway, but you take care...and say hello to everybody for me" She said, rubbing his hand before getting up. "I will...bye" he said, watching her walk away, he did miss Charlie sometimes even though it had been almost 4 months now since they had broken up, but she was a terrific woman and if there was anybody he saw a future with over the past 3 years, it was her.
Just then, Rachel came out of the room. "Is he ok?" Ross asked her, but she barely looked at him, she just walked over to the coffee machine. Ross felt almost angry now, she always did this when something didnt go quite her way, "Will you pour me some Rach?" he asked her, walking behind her.
"Sure" she muttered, passing him a cup of coffee. "Thanks...".
He remained standing behind her, he felt like she was punishing him or something, like he had been in the wrong...but in his eyes, he had done the right thing. "Are you ok? You have barely spoke to me this morning...all the way here in the cab you hardly said a word to me" Ross blurted out.
She turned round now, looking at him directly. "I'm fine." she lied, looking at him straight in the eyes. "Ok...well I'm gonna go down and get something to eat" he said, he knew full well that something was wrong with her, and he knew that if he just ignored her mood for the moment, she would let it slip what was on her mind.
Just as he started to walk away, he heard it. "For your information..." she began, he turned around and had an expectant look on his face as he could see it coming, "when a girl asks for some ill advised sympathy sex...just do it". she continued.
His mouth dropped open, he couldnt believe she was still mad over last night..well actually he could, but he didnt quite know how to react to her. "Wait a minute...are you still mad about last night?" he asked her, she rolled her eyes as she stirred her coffee frustratedly. " I was just doing the right thing Rach...".
She let out a sarcastic laugh, "Oh really, if you had of done the right thing then I wouldnt have woke up feeling stupid and embarrassed this morning...".
Ross looked at the floor, she obviously still felt very rejected, "I treated you with respect and understanding..." he said defendingly.
She began to walk away again, this made Ross feel quite angry now. "You know what? To stop this in the future...how about me and you never having sex again huh".
"What?" She snapped, looking surprised.
"Yes thats right...never having sex again. Sex is off the table". He shouted, even though he seemed to be joking, the joke hurt her as she thought what that would be like to never be in his arms again, she avoided eye contact with him now, she did feel quite stupid, he looked at her still, feeling maybe he shouldnt have said that although he was joking. Neither of them knew what to say, but the moment was broken as Rachel's father appeared behind Ross, and it seemed that he had been listening in to their argument.
Back at home.
Ross had been putting Emma to bed, whilst Rachel mused in the kitchen, mostly thinking about what had happened over the past day with her and Ross, she felt as though it was mostly down to her as she had been the one who had thrown herself at him then blamed him the day after for why she was feeling embarrassed, she thought about perhaps explaining to him why she had done what she had done.
She fingered the surface of the kitchen side as she thought about what to say next, the truth was whether she wanted to admit it to herself or not, was that she did miss Ross and what they once were, she sighed softly before being interupted by Ross' return into the room. "Emma's down for the night..." he told her, closing the bedroom door behind him before joining her in the kitchen. She looked up at him, he looked quite thoughtful himself, maybe now was the perfect moment to get both of their feelings out.
"Listen.." She started, getting up from the chair, he looked as though he was about to leave. "Um, thanks for coming with me today..." she smiled at him, Ross nodded and returned the smile before he wrapped his scarf around his neck.
"And...you know what you said about that sex thing before, I think your probably right..." she continued, wanting him to stay a little longer just to hear her out. "thank you, I'm glad you agree with me..." he said back to her.
He stood there for a moment, as if to indicate to her that he was expecting more from what she was going to say, so she continued. "its a shame though, dont you think? because when we did it it was pretty good..." she laughed, trying to get him to remember with her what they were like. "yeah..." he nodded.
"Do you remember that one great time?". She asked him.
"Oh..ummm Valentines day?" he replied , but at the same time she also said, "Your um Birthday?".
"Oh yeah" they both chorused, remembering back to those both occasions.
About 7 years ago...
Their first Valentines night together had been truely romantic, no other man had treated Rachel like Ross had that evening, when she got back from work that night to her apartment she found her bedroom full of flowers and Ross had left her a message on the bed telling her where to go next, " Go into the kitchen and look at the fridge". he had written, and the trail continued till she went onto the balcony where Ross was waiting for her with a table set out for two. That night had been the most special to Ross, as it was the first night where he got to really spoil the girl he loved, he had waited years to be able to do what he wanted for her and now was the time.
"Happy Valentines day". He said to her, passing her a glass of champagne, inviting her to sit down at the table before serving her a three course meal. "This is just perfect". she said to him, and the whole night was even better, especially when they got to the bedroom afterwards.
Every night that Ross made love to her was pretty extraordinary but that night, she had lost her mind for a moment in oblivion. But it wasnt just mindblowing sex that she enjoyed, but it was the touch of his hand on her body that thrilled her most, making her reach out with satisfaction which made him go further.
The next morning had been pretty exhausting, with no sleep whatsoever, both of them had headed to work as usual, but not till Ross had served her breakfast in bed, with a extra special glass of orange juice, accompanied with a straw with a rose on the top.
"Oh yeah...I dont know why I didnt think of that night first" Rachel realised, "it was so special that evening...". Ross nodded, "which birthday of mine were you referring to then? the one where we went away for the weekend to that hotel?" he asked, she nodded, "thats the one"...she said, giggling at the thought.
"Oh yes, I remember...those people next door, complaining about us.." he chuckled.
"Yeah, but I cant blame them as we were pretty...well...loud" she blushed. He nodded laughing.
"We had our fair share of good nights. Its a shame...you know..." Rachel said to him, letting out a sigh, but drawing herself a bit closer into him. He looked at her, "uh?"
"Its a shame...when two people have a connection, you know...it's such a waste". she said, now close enough to his face to be able to feel his breath.
"I hate waste..." He said to her, causing her to shake her head, "Ross?".
"Yes?" he replied, staring at her now in the eyes, which he noticed were quite teary. "Ross...with us...it's never off the table". she told him, he looked quite surprised at what she had said and deciding that she could add no more to what she had said, she walked away from him, leaving him to wonder.
As she closed the bedroom door, she could feel her heart beating ever so fast, she hadnt planned to say what she had just say but she couldnt help but let it slip out of her mouth, as it was how she really felt and maybe it was about time they started to be honest with eachother. She crouched down on the floor, resting her back against her bed and put her head in her hands, the sound of Emma sleeping made her feel relaxed and unstressed. Her baby daughter was fast asleep, with no cares in the world as she snored quietly, her nose was twitching a little which Rachel always had adored.
Rachel often wondered if Emma was aware of the fact that her parents were not actually together like other parents might be, she hoped to hide her from that very fact which was on Rachel's mind every living day, but she promised herself that she wouldnt ever get back with Ross just for Emma's sake, it wouldnt be fair. But now with these old feelings rushing back, she couldnt help but feel excited for what could happen again for her and Ross, maybe they could be a family afterall...they just needed time.
Ross was sat outside the apartment, on the step where he had often sat before when he had things on his mind. It must have been gone 9oclock now, but it felt much later as the day had almost dragged along. He couldnt quite come to terms with what Rachel had just told him, they were never off the table...did she mean she wanted to get back together soon? He wasnt too sure, but it was obviously a good thing, or so he thought. But what if they did go back to where they were, and things didnt work out as they hoped they would, where would they be then? He wasnt sure if it was what he wanted now, even though they had been good together in most circumstances, they lacked in certain things such as honesty which was the main thing in a relationship.
They never quite seized the day either, or an opportunity together, especially Ross who would freely admit that he wasted many years not saying a thing to her when he should have done, what was there to lose? well, everything back then but now he realised how stupid he had been, they had both been quite stupid in the past, so what was going to be different now?
"You ok?". He heard a familiar voice say, looking up he saw Chandler in his night robe, "Um. I guess so..." Ross replied to him, looking back down to the floor again.
"Oh come on Ross, I've just seen a milk bottle in our fridge that looks more happier than you do...and he's 1 day past the expiration date!" Chandler joked, amusing Ross.
Chandler sat down beside his friend, "Look, whatever it is Ross...you can tell me".
Ross knew he could tell Chandler anything and everything, but he probably couldnt give any helpful advise on the matter. "Ok, well...um, and dont be telling this to Monica because I know what she's like with a bit of gossip...but you know me and Rachel have been together over the past 2 days at her fathers house and everything? Well...".
"You didnt?" Chandler cut in.
"Didnt what?" Ross asked him, but before Chandler answered he realised what Chandler was misunderstanding, "No...we didnt have sex".
"Oh, ok sorry...go on". Chandler said.
"Its nothing really...its just that well, she said something to me earlier that made me think she wanted us to get back together again..." Ross continued.
"Really? Well, I wouldnt have guessed that...I thought Rachel was over that now, and I thought you were too..."
"Yeah well I was, and I have been...well atleast I thought I have been, and I thought she was well over me too...what with the whole Joey thing you know..."
"So whats the problem then?"
"When we spoke before and I got the impression she wanted to get back together...Its made me feel quite strange, because to be honest, I hadnt thought about us for a long time now but as soon as she said what she said...I started to think about it too, about how good it could be again...".
"Wow dude, are you saying what I think your saying?"
"No. Well I dont know...I do still have feelings for her, and she's the mother of my child and everything so the story is perfect if you think about it...but I cant help but feel scared if we were to get back together because what if we broke up again?"
"Well...people do break up, its life. But you mightnt break up this time..."
"True, but then is it worth it?" Ross asked seriously now.
"If you want it...then it's worth it Ross...but a word of advise, dont rush into anything...she has said whatever she said to you right, but just leave it like that for now and see what happens...".
"Yeah your right.. thanks".
"So you ok now?" Chandler asked, "come and have a beer or something with me...Monica is at work so I'm feeling pretty lonely". Chandler said.
Ross got up, "Ok...I could do with a beer actually."
So the two got up and went into the apartment together, Ross still thinking about Rachel and their possible future together.
Meanwhile, Rachel was across the apartment still awake. She had been going through some boxes of her stuff for the past hour or so, looking at photographs and reading old letters from friends. She came across a photo album which was titled, "Summer 97", she remembered making this album.
Inside were pictures of her and Ross, their first summer together as a couple. Some pictures were taken at the zoo, others at Central Perk and there were a few from their first weekend away, "oh my god.." she sighed to herself, flicking through the pictures. Every picture reminded her so much of how happy they were together before things unravelled and became too hard to handle.
She laughed as she saw a picture of Ross being licked on the face by a huge cow, and another picture of her running away from an ostritch, she giggled to herself at the memory.
Then she came across a bundle of letters written from Monica, at high school they always wrote to eachother a letter each week filled with gossip of who they liked or what girls they didnt get on with, she began to read one of the letters written in '86', "Rach, honestly...I've not seen him so hung up over somebody so much before, he doesnt usually get like this what with him being so into dinosaurs and stuff, but he's so into you Rach...dont tell him I told you, but you must know anyway as it's so obvious, what was he like at thanksgiving! It's just a crush I guess, but just thought you would like to know, Monica xx"
Rachel always knew Ross had liked her at highschool, the gazes she caught from him and the quick lookaways were so obvious, but she never pulled him up over it, nor did she really talk to him at all apart from when she was at Monica's, he was such a sweetheart though that now she wondered why she didnt go with good guys like him.
After college, her and Monica stopped writing letters and they lost touch for a few years, Rachel met Barry and her new friends and got engaged, she reached for another letter which she recognised the writing of, it was from one of her friends when she was with Barry. "Dear Rach, so happy that you and Barry are going to get married! Please let me be maid of honour, you know how long I've waited to be one! You both seem to happy...I feel quite stupid now being single, what am I doing wrong! Is it the lack of makeup?...". Rachel stopped reading, she couldnt believe how shallow this letter was, thankfully she wasnt in that world anymore and thankfully she hadnt married Barry, otherwise her life would have been much different now.
She threw the letter back in the box, and noticed a little book, it was the book that she kept most of her poetry in when she was at college, she liked to keep her poetry a secret from everybody, nobody even to this day knew how much she loved poetry, and how good she was actually at it.
She flicked through the pages, and she came across one of her favourites that she had written in 88, it was titled, "Love grows".
It went, "Your first grab at love has a sense of excitement, the thought of not knowing what you are about to begin, the years might go on and you might float to another but the thing about love is that it grows from within. You might be lucky to have a few tries at love, or you might be the unfortunate one who doesnt. But love does grow quickly, Dont let it pass you by, take the chance and dance in that sky".
The poem didnt seem so good right now, but when she had first written it she had felt so very proud, especially at the emotion inside. She did believe in the poem now, almost 32 and she was lucky enough to have a few good go's at love, but now she was alone and the choice was her's who she was going to spend the rest of her life with, and she knew who that person was. The person who she had taken hold of, but had let go a few times, a person who had once betrayed her, but had gained back her trust. That person who had loved her unconditionally throughout, and understood her for who she was. It was Ross, who else?
She read the last line of the poem again, "Dont let it pass you by, take the chance and dance in that sky".
And for the first time in her adult life, she understood what love was all about.
She closed the book and put it back in the box, among with the other things. Now she knew what she wanted, the world didnt seem such a bad place. She smiled to herself as she put the blanket over her, resting her head down on the pillow...but before she closed her eyes, she decided to do something.
Across the way,Ross was just about to go to sleep when he heard his telephone ringing, he staggered from the bedroom into the sitting room and picked up the telephone. "Hello", he answered, the person on the other line didnt say anything for a moment, "Hello?" he said again.
"It's me".
He widened his eyes, "Rach?".
"I just wanted to say...that um.." She paused, "I just wanted to say...thank you again and well...goodnight".
"I was getting worried then, I thought something might have been wrong with Emma".
"Oh no, she's fine. I just wanted to say goodnight to you...".
"Oh, well goodnight to you too..." he said back to her, smiling.
"See you tomorow". She said.
"Yeah, I'll pop round in the morning...". Ross told her. "Great. See you then.." She said before putting the phone down, followed by Ross putting his phone down also.
Both of them returned to their bed's, both with a similiar feeling that they were back where they were.
Dancing in that sky.
Thank you for reading! This is a oneshot fanfic therefore there will be no continuation from this, I have done this only for the fanfic compettition.