Five Years
Castiel feels it the moment Dean leaves the present timeline. A part of himself no longer reachable.
In heaven Castiel is busy, the apocalypse inching closer and closer, but with the sudden unknown disappearance of one Dean Winchester, Cas takes his leave.
First stop is the motel room Dean was last in. It's empty of Dean himself but his duffle is there, bed unmade and Baby is in the lot. Something about this is wrong. Castiel checks the surrounding area with ease-his grace flying him around in seconds flat-he even goes so far as to find Sam; Dean is no where. He really is gone from of this timeline.
The angel's blue eyes close as he concentrates, hard, reaching out to his missing piece. There, five years in the future Castiel can feel his grace, Dean. He tenses, with Dean in a different time it only points to angels, which means the intentions must be ill-fated. The angel's duty lies in heaven, especially right now, yet Castiel knows he will not be on his game knowing something happened to Dean.
So once again Castiel closes his eyes and concentrates on the weak signal coming from Dean and he thinks he can get himself close enough. In an instant the angel disappears and transports five years into the future. When he lands, his feet hit the ground and Cas stumbles, falling to his knees gasping for a breath. Cas balls his fist in his shirt under the two jacket he wear and spits on the asphalt under him, there's blood mixed in the saliva. His body is shaking, stomach turns and head pounds; the jump wore his grace out significantly and he feels rather human. When Castiel stands his legs threaten to give out under him but he denies them the pleasure.
His eyes squint as he takes in the strange surroundings. The simplest way to describe it is destruction. The town looks like an abandoned war zone, empty buildings trashed, cars line the streets some covered in dirt with broken windows, trashed interiors and many look as if they have been on fire. A lost old newspaper blows down the street and Cas breathes deeply. He can feel the death here hanging like a low cloud as he walks slowly, eyes darting around picking up every detail. A pile of shot gun shells behind a rusted car and blood splattered onto the wall of a building across the street. No bodies.
Camp Chitaqua reads an old faded sign at the head of a dirt road where Castiel pauses. Without his grace he cannot sense who or what may be down there, but judging by the fresh tire tracks in the dirt he decides it's worth it to find out. His dress shoes carry him down the dirt road until he finds a high chain linked fence lined with razor wire along both the top and bottom. Castiel walks to the gate in the fence, there is a man there with a gun slung over his shoulder but Castiel approaches him.
The man snaps to attention facing Castiel and pointing his gun at him. Castiel stops. "Hey! What are you doing here?" His eyes fall over Castiel, "Who are you?"
Castiel is calm as he stands still staring right back at the man. "I-I am Castiel. I'm looking for Dean Winchester." The expression on the man's face is shocked but Castiel continues, "Is Dean here?"
The man hesitates not sure to trust Castiel. "Wait here." He walks away and Castiel sighs heavily. He is tired, he feels weak as if his body will give up on him any moment. Cas tilts his head, the feeling of the sun's rays hitting his sensitive face; the muscles in his legs ache, and for the first time he physically feels tired. The guard returns with another man and Castiel looks up again.
"Castiel? Says the new man and Cas recognizes him.
"Chuck, Chuck Shurley the prophet." Castiel's eyes smile at the familiar face. Dean must be here.
"Yeah, yeah it's me Cas." There is a pause and Chuck is staring. "You're, still an angel aren't you?"
Castiel cocks his head to the left, "Of course I am."
Chuck clenches his jaw, "Let him in, he's good." The gate is unlocked and Castiel walks in. "Come with me." Chuck speaks turning and they walk through the camp.
Castiel follows Chuck, his eyebrows pulled together at the looks he is getting as if he is malformed. "Is Dean here?" he asks trying to ignore the many eyes on him.
"Um, yes. But not the Dean you are looking for I'm afraid." Castiel is about to question him but they stop in front of a cabin, "Come on." Chuck knocks on the door and gets a 'yeah' from inside so they go in.
There is a man shuffling through papers on a desk across the room. His hair, brown and short, big black combat boots on his feet, jeans that fit him well, a holster on his right thigh cradling a gun, and then a shirt and dark jacket over that. Castiel's blue eyes are wide as he looks at the back of this man, Dean, he doesn't speak yet.
"Chief," Chuck starts out, his voice not weak though not assertive. The man across the room turns around, his green eyes on Chuck first before going to the figure next to him. Castiel swallow, the green eyes grabbing him from across the space.
"Cas?" The hunter finally speaks.
"Dean." Castiel's chin is slightly tipped down towards his chest when he speaks. It is obvious this is not the Dean Castiel went in search for. No, this Dean Winchester is different, he has seen more horrors, more pain, war, than his Dean. This Dean is worn, and Castiel can tell.
"Castiel." Dean speaks walking across the wood planked floor. Chuck side steps, not making eye contact with the hunter. "You're an angel."
"Yes."
The man's hard green eyes flash back and forth between Castiel's as if he was trying to read his mind, as if he could see the answers in his pupils.
"You're looking for Dean aren't you?"
"Yes. This is the last place I could feel him." Castiel pauses for a moment and clenches then releases his hands. "I'm afraid I used up my grace's energy getting here however. I cannot feel him anymore." The tension in Dean's face releases for a moment and his chest rises. "Is he here?"
Dean looks over to Chuck, "No." Castiel's shoulders fall in defeat. "He was here for a couple of day but took off-" Dean's mouth shuts. The man glances at Chuck again.
Castiel knows he is not getting an important piece of information. "Why would he leave?"
Chuck clears his throat, "I-I'm just going to leave then." The corners of his mouth pull back in a tight forced smile before he heads back out the door.
Castiel looks back at Dean with question in his eyes.
Dean sighs, "Can we sit down?" he asks, but it's not much of a question because Dean goes to sit in a chair at the table. Castiel joins him, watching him carefully. "Dean got here and well, everyone was pretty freaked by it. Zachariah zapped him here," Castiel tenses and anger flicks through his blue eyes. Dean continues though, "we, I, told him how things got to be like this and I," Dean looks distressed, "I told him about Sam."
Castiel lifts his chin in understanding; he doesn't need to ask because he knows. Sam had said yes to Lucifer, the apocalypse happened and this, this is the aftermath.
"Did you look for him?" Castiel asks after the air had fallen silent. "Dean, I mean."
"'Course we did. We have groups going out everyday looking for him, Cas." Dean comes off as mean and mad on the outside, but Castiel can feel it is something more, deep down. "We're going to find him, we don't think he could have gotten too far."
Castiel simply nods. He hadn't expected so much of his grace to be used in the jump, hadn't thought he would be here long, but now not only could he not find Dean right away but he has to wait until he is strong enough to get them both back to 2009.
Dean's been quiet sitting stiff in his chair eyes on the angel. Castiel meets his eyes, "What?"
Dean leans back in the chair but only for a moment before he stands. "You're a lot harder to read than I'm used to now. I'll be right back. Stay put." The door opens and closes as Dean swiftly leaves his cabin.
A few minutes later and footsteps are coming up the stairs to the cabin, but this time there are two pairs of footsteps. The door opens and Castiel turns his head.
"Shit, you weren't lying." The new man says looking at Castiel. The angel's brow furrows as he stands slowly from the table.
"He can probably answer your question better than me." Dean says off to the side.
Blue eyes stare into blue eyes but it is the new Cas who speaks. "Look at you, me, all decked out in angelic glory." Cas steps in close to the angel tugging playfully at the trench coat.
Castiel's eyes narrow as he stands still. "You're human."
Cas smirks, "Sure am." He holds his arms out to the side, "Not doing so bad if I do say so myself."
Castiel takes in his future self; the scruff covering his jaw, hair messed, eyes dull yet smiling and dressed in loose casual clothes. Completely human. "How?" Castiel asks.
Cas smirks, his eyes flick to the ground and Dean clears his throat off to the side.
"The apocalypse happened, things got real bad and when heaven called for me, well, I stayed." Castiel inhales and nods his head slowly. His lips part to ask more questions but Cas pushes a finger against the angel's plump lips. "Sh, we can talk about it later." He brushes his thumb across his bottom lip, eyes focused there are well, "Besides, you look exhausted."
"Cas." Dean's harsh tone comes up, "Dude, really?"
A smirk slides its way onto Cas' face and he looks at Dean, "What? I'm just trying to be helpful, I'm sure he used up a lot of his grace getting here," he looks back at Castiel, "didn't you, Castiel?"
It's now the angel reaches up and takes Cas' hand from resting on his cheek though Cas holds their hands together.
"Yes. I didn't expect to be so weakened by the jump."
"You should rest." Cas replies and he pulls on Castiel's hand, outstretching the angel's arm.
"Where are you going?"
Dean's voice stops Cas and he smirks at the hunter. "He needs to rest, Dean. I'm going to give him somewhere to lie down."
"What, at your place? Cas there's always people there, doing, who knows what." Cas scoffs. "He stays here."
"Fine." His eyes are on Dean as he pulls Castiel along with him, "We'll be in your room then."
"We?" Dean turns as they walk past him.
Looking over his shoulder Cas says, "Someone's gotta watch over him and we both know you don't have the balls for this."
Dean does not reply so Cas shuts the door behind them.
"Dean doesn't trust you?"
Cas puts on his everything-is-okay smile and faces Castiel. The man grabs the lapels of the trench coat and pushes them back over his shoulders, peeling away the layers. "Not with some things, but, I suppose he has good reason."
"I don't understand."
Cas has removed the suit jacket and slides his tongue over his own dry lips. "I think he's afraid of what I might tell you, or do to you. Take off your shoes." Castiel toes them off, but looks at the man with questions still remaining in his eyes. "Dean, he comes off as strong, hard and unafraid-but really, he's scared." Cas looks up to lock his gaze with the angel who is watching intently. "Dean's very sensitive, Castiel, in every sense of the word. When Sam said yes to Lucifer he fell apart, he was sad, cried for days and was scared out of his mind of what would happen. We took care of him." Castiel's lips form an O. "But once the apocalypse begun he turned cold. He's still that same sensitive man under his cold exterior, but it's hard to reach; we are the only one who can get to it."
Castiel swallows. "Us?" Cas nods slightly. "Does Dean..?"
"Dean loves you, Castiel, just as you love him." The angel's cheeks turn a light pink. "Right now in your time line he is just too afraid to say anything about it."
Castiel is still, his eyes glance at the floor for a moment and he takes a deep breath. "I need to find him." He looks back up at his future self.
The human simply smiles and grabs his wrist. "You need to rest before you do anything." He pulls the angel in close and his fingers work at the tie around his neck, when he pulls it out slowly Castiel's shoulder raise from the tickle and Cas smirks. "So innocent." He sets a hand on the back of Castiel's neck and pull gently to place a kiss on his lips. Castiel is still against his future self, but the kiss is quick and he relaxes again. "Come." Cas says pulling the angel towards the bed.
Castiel lies down with a sigh of relief. Cas plants himself next to him but sits with his back against the headboard. Though Castiel is grateful for the comfortable bed and a chance to rest, he honestly has no idea how this works and feels awkward lying there. The angel closes his eyes as he lets his lungs collapse, but then they open and he stares at the ceiling. "I've never slept before."
Cas looks down at him with soft eyes, his hand runs back through Castiel's hair over and over in a soothing pattern. "It's easy, just close your eyes and relax. Try not to think about anything." He continues petting the angel and his eyes close again but only for a moment.
"I can't stop thinking…about Dean."
Cas' hand still and he maneuvers himself down on the bed so he lies on his side facing Castiel, grabs his hip and pulls him so they face each other but then Cas pulls Castiel into his chest.
The human looks at the wall over Castiel's shoulder, his hand is rubbing his back soothingly and he presses soft kisses to the top of the angel's head. "I know you're worried, but it's going to be fine. Dean, is fine. Our people will find him and bring him back to you. Alright?" Castiel nods, his head against Cas' chest. "Just relax, sleep." Cas whispers. The fallen angel speaks soothing words against the top of Castiel's head and soon the angel falls asleep in his arms.
Hours later the doorknob to the bedroom jiggles, the door swing open in its quiet hinges and Dean walks in. Dean looks at the two figures on his bed; Cas is awake on his back but propped up on some extra pillows, dark blue eyes on Dean right away. But now Dean's eyes are focused on the angel snuggled into his side, the mop of dark brown hair against Cas' chest, hand fisted in his shirt and peaceful look on his sleeping face. Then green eyes catch the large hand slowly tracing lines over Castiel's back and the other at the wrist tangled in his shirt playing with the end of the sleeve. Dean looks at Cas who is staring him down, hard.
"I don't know what you think you're doing." He speaks in a low tone as he walks in to the room and grabs some papers from his small desk in there.
"He keeps whispering your name." Dean stiffens for a moment, his back to the bed and Cas continues. "He just needs comfort right now."
Dean sighs and folds the papers in his hand. He looks down at Cas. "You were always good at that." His voice is barely a whisper as he leans down, a hand on Cas' forearm and he presses his lips against Cas' forehead; his eyes are shut. Dean stands and walks out of the room shutting the door quietly behind him.
Cas watches the Winchester leave, feeling empty. He lies flat on the bed and pulls Castiel in closer wrapping his arms tightly around the angel.
When they wake, Castiel looks more alert physically but his grace is still weak. Taking Dean's note on keeping the angel there Cas plants him on the couch and moves into the kitchen. He pulls out a small pack from a drawer and Castiel watches as he rolls a light green substance in thin paper before holding it to his lips and lighting. Cas' eyes close, his chest puffs up and holds before exhaling a steady flow of smoke. The man smiles before going to sit on the couch next to Castiel.
Castiel watches another puff of smoke leave his lips before he asks, "Why do you…?" he motions to the joint in the human's fingers.
Cas twists the joint between his thumb and forefinger. "It helps me." He starts, speaking slowly, easily. "Helps me relax and feel good in these times." Castiel nods but remains quiet watching Cas smoke. "Falling was hard. Learning how to be fully human, adjusting to this body, this life...it was a dark time. Especially after the apocalypse when the world was already so dark and things were confusing. People were dying. I was weak-as was Dean-so this, this makes me feel good again. If even for a while."
Castiel sets his hand over the humans as he takes another drag. "I'm sorry it's gotten so bad."
Cas smirks and blows the smoke out very slowly then licks his lips after words. "I'm not." No reply from the angel. "This is my life now and so I am making it work."
Castiel's cheeks warm, "I apologize."
Cas laughs now though and stubs out the joint in a nearby ashtray. "Was I really like that? So polite and innocent all the time?" Castiel tilts his head and it's that what has Cas moving across the couch and pressing his lips against Castiel's. He's on hands and knees on the cushions; one hand is next to Castiel's knee and the other on his thigh. His lips pull at Castiel's and he's surprised when the angel doesn't shut him out and pull away, but instead those lips part in sync with his own. Taking this as his initiative, Cas straddles Castiel, placing his bum on his thighs and kisses him again.
Castiel is surprised when his future self plants himself in his lap and the pressure causes a gasp to escape his lips. The angel thinks to himself how he likes this; the sensations he is experiencing as Cas kisses him, his hands touching him here and there. When Cas' tongue pushes it's way into his mouth Castiel moans and pulls at the man's shirt. Cas smiles and kisses harder sinking into this moment as his hips grind forward and Castiel chases his tongue looking for more. Cas runs his hand back through Castiel's hair causing it to stand up, he moves his lips down to suck at Castiel's neck with reckless abandon. Castiel moans loudly, the lips on his neck, hips grinding into his hips and hands now sliding up under his shirt gliding over his ribs, "D-"
Cas brushes his teeth over his skin, "It's okay," another kiss, "say his name." he rolls his hips forward again.
"Dean!"
Cas smiles against his skin. The angel's fingers drag up Cas' back keeping their bodies close and one hand tangles in his hair. Their lips meet again, "Cas-" the human breathes out causing the angel to moan.
"Cas!" Dean's voice comes from the doorway. Both men on the couch turn their head, lips red and kissed swollen, eyes lustfully wide and cheeks red. "The fuck are you doing?"
Cas sighs and sits back on Castiel's knees, the angel blushing still. "I'm doing exactly what it looks like I'm doing, Dean."
"With-" his green eyes flash to Castiel, "yourself? With the old angel you, Cas?"
Cas is standing up now, placing himself in front of Dean's view of Castiel. "You never had a problem with old angel me."
"This is nothing like that and you know it."
"You're and ass, Dean."
The hunter scoffs. "And you're high." He grabs a bag from the table and walks back to the door, his eyes on Cas, "Keep him here." Then once again he leaves his own cabin.
Cas curses under his breath and turns back around , his hand runs over his stubble chin. Though Castiel is standing now, obviously sad from his expression. "I'm sorry." He says, his voice quiet and small.
Cas watches his former self standing there sad, his shoulders slumped forward and eyes down on the floor. It's obvious the angel is not pleased with his future. This is what he and Dean will become, and it's a sad mess. Cas pulls the angel into his chest and wraps his arms around his back making Castiel's body press right up against his own. Cas kisses his neck once, "It's okay Castiel. We're okay." The angel sets his nose in the crook of his neck and inhales deeply. "It's really not that bad."
The remaining hours of the day pass and Cas and Castiel fall asleep on the bed together.
Castiel wakes up early, the house dark still the man next to him asleep, and, his grace is fully back. He can feel it deep within him, warm and pulsing, comforting.
The angel gets out of the bed quietly not to disturb Cas, he walks out of the bedroom and sees Dean at the table, a steaming mug in front of him.
Castiel stands behind an empty chair, "May I sit?"
Dean runs his fingers back through his hair, "Yeah." The angel sits and the room is quiet, the air is tense and Castiel can tell Dean is thinking. "I'm sorry." The hunter finally says and he sighs heavily. "About yesterday. I burst out in front of you and I shouldn't have. It's not your fault."
Castiel looks at him. This man, Dean, is so torn emotionally and his eyes are so sad. "You're very important to him." Dean's brows furrow and he looks at the man in the seat next to him. "He fell asleep talking about you; how things are bad, there are highs and lows between you-though more lows-but he still cares immensely about you. He says he wouldn't know how to function if you weren't still around." Castiel pauses. "He knows you are unhappy, with him, with everything, but he only wants you to be happy, Dean. Seeing you so down makes him depressed. He loves you." The air falls quiet again and minutes pass before Dean finally replies. "Thank you. For letting me know. He'd never tell me on his own." Castiel nods, glad that Dean appreciates the information, he thought it was important for him to know. "Your grace is back isn't it?
Castiel looks back at him, the corners of his mouth pull up in a shy smile, "Yes, it is fully restored now. I feel I should be able to get Dean and myself back to our time now."
"Good." Dean says nodding. His eyes stay on Castiel and they are soft as he stands, his hand grips around the angel's arm to pull him up as well. Next thing Castiel knows is Dean's strong arms wrap behind him and his breath hot on his neck. "Thank you. I missed you, Cas." He whispers and a chill goes down Castiel's back.
The angel hugs back and he can feel Dean relax in his arms. Castiel can feel dean swallow, can feel his heart pounding in his chest. "It's okay Dean." He whispers keeping him close.
Booted footsteps pound up the stairs at the front of Dean's cabin, there's a knock and the door swings open. Castiel and Dean let their arms drop and they turn towards the door as it opens.
"We got him, Chief." Says a rather tough looking man and next to him is standing Dean.
"Cas?"
The angel smiles and relief floods him, "Dean."
The hunter crosses the room and wraps his arms around Castiel's neck bringing him in for a hug. "I don't know what you're doing here, but I'm glad to see you man."
Dean and the other man talk about what apparently happened and where they found Dean hunkered down seven miles out last night.
Castiel smiles, his face in Dean's shoulder and own arms around his back. "I came to find you."
Dean's arms loosen and he looks Castiel in the eyes. "Thank you." Green eyes fall to Castiel's lips and he pulls him back in.
Their lips barely brush when the bedroom door opens and Cas comes out running a hind back through his hair. "What's with all the fucking noise? Do you know how early it is?" He looks at Dean and Castiel standing now apart and smiles, "Oh."
"You sure you're strong enough to get both of you back?"
Castiel looks at future Dean and inhales deeply. "Yes, I can get us both back safely." He pauses, eyes staying on Dean. "Thank you, for, taking me in."
The man nods, "No problem."
Castiel slides his eyes back to Cas who is watching him with a sly smile. The angel's lookalike holds his hand out and Castiel crosses the room. They stand close together, Cas runs a hand across the angel's cheek and back through his hair.
Dean looks at his future version with a raised eyebrow, "Don't ask." He whispers shaking his head.
The two pairs of blue eyes bore into each other and Cas holds the angel close with his arms draped around his waist. "You remember what I told you?" Castiel nods. "Trust me about what I said about Dean, he needs you as much as you need him Castiel." He glances up to see the green eyes on them both. "Take care of him. Both of them."
Castiel nods and looks at the plump lips in front of him. "He still love you too, you know."
Cas pulls in the angel and their lips meet for one last familiar kiss. "Yeah," his hands fall from Castiel, "I know." He clears his throat. The man hands Castiel a bundle of the clothes he's no longer wearing and the angel drapes them over his arm. "Have fun." He looks at past Dean and winks.
Castiel walks to Dean and the hunter's cheeks turn a soft red. The angel places his hand on Dean's left shoulder and they disappear from the cabin.
Dean sighs and looks at Cas leaning against the bedroom door frame. They simply stare for a few minutes, but then Dean crosses the room. His hands grip Cas' waist and he kisses him hard on the lips then begins to walk them backwards into the bedroom.
Castiel and Dean land in the motel room Dean was last in when he left. Dean looks around and Castiel knows it's a relief being back in the right time. The angel sits on the end of the bed, his legs shaky from the jump.
"Cas, you okay?" Dean is in front of him asking.
"Yes, I'll be fine." He looks up and smirks at Dean.
"Okay. I-I'm going to go call Sam." Cas nods and Dean steps outside.
Castiel takes a few minutes to recover from this jump, his body gaining back its strength easily. He stands as Dean domes back in and he drapes his jackets over the back of a chair-now comfortable in just the pants and shirt untucked.
"How is Sam?" Cas is looking at Dean.
Dean sets the phone downs on the table and pulls off his dirty jacket. "He's okay. He said he's on his way, should he here by tomorrow night."
Castiel smiles, "That's good."
Dean nods slowly, "It is. I…we're going to do things differently, than what they did Cas." Castiel's eyes soften. "I'm not letting that happen." He walks closer to his angel. "Sam will be okay, and we," his finger tips brush over Cas' knuckles, "we're not going to hate each other." His green eyes are flashing back and forth from Castiel's deep blue ones, their hands together now, "Alright?"
Castiel swallows, "Thank you." His says quietly.
Dean's lips form a soft smile as he leans in and presses his lips against Castiel's gently.