Take This to Heart, a star trek: 2009 fanfic

AN: Story #2! *dances with excitement* Anywho, I was listening to my Mayday Parade cd when this idea popped into my head. I'm not exactly 100% pleased with it though. It was an experiment of sorts as I wanted to see if I could adopt Spock's speech pattern and my GOD was it difficult. Hopefully I didn't do too bad. Reviews are always welcome!

Disclaimer: As I said before, I don't own Star Trek, and I don't want it. It's doing fine without my help. I also don't own the song, that belongs to Mayday Parade and so does the title as it is also the name of the song. =)

Take This To Heart

Cause I'm a mess and you know that I can't help it
The drive home never seemed this long before
Killing time just a little bit faster
And I swear we'll make it

To say that Spock was a mess was indeed an understatement. While none of the emotions swirling around inside of him were showing in his face, they were there, and they were eating at him.

He'd been away from her for far too long. Looking back on it he'd been a fool to leave her in the first place. He was a fool to put her second to a race of people who had not accepted him as a child. It was only now that they needed him that they were welcoming. Spock looked out the window at the passing stars as he made his way back to her. 'My Nyota.' He thought.

This trip was taking far too long, but there was nothing Spock could about it. If he wanted to arrive safely, this was as fast as the shuttle could go. He would simply have to find a way to pass the time. 'Meditation shall settle my thoughts.'

But I can't tell you what I don't know
(Be mine tonight, be mine tonight)
The simple things, they make my heart go
(Be mine tonight, be mine tonight)
But I can't tell you what I don't know
You'll have to wait
You'll have to wait

Spock was very intelligent, this was certain, but there was still much he needed, wanted, to learn. There was so much he wanted to tell her but couldn't. He could not tell her how he felt for her, because he did not know how. Sure, he could easily speak words to her, but that would not be enough. He needed her to be able to feel what it was his words were relaying, she needed to be able to feel what his words were relaying, but transferring his emotions through verbal expressions was a near impossible task even for him, one who was half-human.

Stay Safe, Stay strong
And let me know that you'll be here when I am gone
Because I'm coming home
Coming home tonight
Let's get this right
I said I'm coming home
Coming home tonight

They were lying in his bed together for what was to be the last time for at least two years. Spock lay on his back with Uhura curled up into his side. She was lazily tracing an intricate pattern on his bare chest when she stopped suddenly, letting her hand rest on his abdomen.

"Nyota, may I inquire as to what is on your mind?" The dark skinned girl in his arms looked up at him, her eyes shining with the tears that she was fighting so hard to hold back.

"Why do you have to go?" Was all she managed. Spock was quiet a moment before answering.

"I have a duty to my people. They have given me so much, I feel that I should return their gesture." Spock said quietly. He failed to mention the fact that he felt like he had no choice. He had already let his father down by joining Starfleet, and then later severing his engagement to T'Pring upon meeting the girl lying next to him at that moment. He was suddenly taken out of his thoughts by that very girl's tears, which had begun to trickle onto his shoulder. He looked down to see Uhura rapidly losing her battle with her self-control.

"You have a duty to a people who did nothing but put you down for a heritage that you had now control over?" Uhura whispered fiercely as she sat up, pulling the sheets up around her bare body. She looked back at Spock. His face revealed nothing as always, but his eyes revealed the internal battle he was struggling. At this she calmed slightly. It was strange considering the situation, but knowing that this decision was not an easy one for him let her know that he cared for her and that was enough at the moment.

Spock stayed quiet for a long time. He knew that asking her to wait for him would be unfair, but he still couldn't keep from wishing that she would. As if reading his mind, Uhura grabbed his hand and tugged, silently asking him to sit up. He did and she placed her hands on either side of his face.

"I'll be here." She whispered. " While you're away I'll still be here. I love you." She placed a soft kiss on his lips. After a moment she pulled back placing her forehead against his. Spock's hands came to rest on her hips.

"My wish is that you will be safe. I want you to be happy Nyota."You said it hurts and you know that I believe you
Searching every little thing to find a way
To tell your heart just to wait a little longer
I swear we'll make it

There were moments when Uhura appeared to be Vulcan herself. She always appeared strong and independent, and she was, but in the weeks before Spock's departure it became obvious that on the inside she was breaking. Whenever they would talk she would stare into his eyes, his soul, searching for anything that would ease her pain and calm her mind. She was remarkable in how she was able to hope in such a miserable situation, in how she was able to make her heart wait for better days.

Spock was beginning to feel nervous. 'One of the more useless emotions.' He thought as he tried to figure out what exactly he was nervous about. After a few moments of silent contemplation his eyes flew open as he remembered his earlier problem. He did not know how to let Nyota know how he truly felt. Spock's mind raced as he tried to find a solution to his problem. 'A mind meld perhaps?' No, that would not be acceptable. He wanted to be able to give her what she wanted, and she wanted to hear him express his feelings with his own mouth, his own words.

Stay Safe, Stay strong
And let me know that you'll be here when I am gone
Because I'm coming home
Coming home tonight
Let's get this right
I said I'm coming home
Coming home tonight

He wondered about her on his way back to the Enterprise. Was she all right? Was she the same woman she was when he left? Had she gone through the emotional turmoil that he had been through? Was she happy? It had taken him a day to miss her smile, a week to miss her eyes, a week and a half to miss her scent, two weeks to miss her touch, and a month to realize how much of an idiot he had been to walk away from her, but despite those realizations, he'd managed to stay away for nearly eight months. He did not deserve someone as wonderful as her. He knew she'd said she'd wait for him, but he found himself wishing that he had told her not too. He wished that he had been smarter, he wished he had never left, he wished… 'Wishing is illogical.' But he couldn't stop himself from hoping that she had indeed, waited.

One more night
And we'll go spinning around the room
And dance with our hearts on fire
Cause every song is ours tonight
And if you love me so
I'm gonna to tell the whole world
That it's greatest thing that happened to me
I finally found a good reason to come home

When the shuttlecraft docked on the Enterprise. Spock grabbed his things and quickly made his way to her quarters. The hallways were silent. No doubt everyone was sleeping as Spock estimated it to be early morning. He typed in the code, and was upset to see that Uhura wasn't there. 'Perhaps I miscalculated.' Spock reasoned as he made his way to the bridge. All he found there were a few night hands lazily watching over the controls. Spock continued searching the ship, going to the mess hall, the transporter room, sickbay and several recreation rooms. Two hours later he found himself standing outside of his own quarters, a sharp pain in his chest. He was worried. 'There is no reason to feel this way. The captain would have mentioned it if something had indeed happened to her.' Spock reassured himself as he thought back to the conversation he'd had with Kirk when telling him of his intended return.

"You're about eight months late at figuring it out Spock. I thought Vulcans were smart." The captain said flashing his first officer a smile. "But anyway, I don't think she'll care, in her eyes you'll be a year and four months early."

Spock stared at his captain's face as it appeared on screen. There was no doubt that the man could be immature, but he was right. This subdued Spock's insecurities, if only for a moment.

"I shall be arriving in a week. It would be sooner, but there a few matters that must be attended to first." Spock said plainly. Kirk rolled his eyes in a playful manner. He hadn't expected Spock to acknowledge his friendly gesture.

"Alright. You attend to your business then. And don't worry, I won't tell her. She should be pleasantly surprised." The captain winked at his Vulcan friend a grin spreading across his face.

"Kirk out."

The worry quelled for now, Spock typed in the code to enter his quarters. The sitting room looked exactly as it had when he left it. Not one item was out of place, but Spock sensed something. Someone had been there. Someone was still there. Spock crept quietly past the sitting area and into the bedroom.

"Spock!" Nyota Uhura was sitting up in his bed. She appeared to have been reading as she looked up from her PADD, her eyes wide with shock. Spock noted that there was music playing softly in the background. Uhura quickly stood and rushed over to him, touching his face, arms, and chest as if she were making sure he were real. Once she was positive that this was not a dream and he was not a hologram, she threw her arms around his neck. Spock wasted no time wrapping his arms around her and burying his face into her neck. 'Jasmine.' He thought as he breathed in her scent. The moment was perfect.

Slowly, the two of them began swaying to the music, and before they knew it, they were dancing around the room. Their movements were graceful and elegant, as they spun around, each of them simply living in the moment.

"You're home." Uhura mumbled into Spock's shoulder. It was a statement, but he knew that she wanted him to confirm it.

"Yes Nyota. I'm home."

Stay Safe, Stay strong
And let me know that you'll be here when I am gone
Because I'm coming home
Coming home tonight
Let's get this right
I said I'm coming home
Coming home tonight

AN: Now review!