Okay so this is a self insert but that will not be the primary focus of the story and if you hate it you can always pretend that the OC is just a time-traveler or something along those lines, (or maybe just a really strange first year) I know most people hate them but I couldn't resist, sorry!
Harry frowned in worry as his companion froze, gaze locked on one of the teachers. He prodded her side slightly.
"You okay?" He whispered, frowning worriedly, but the girl then shook herself a moment before giving him a slightly strained smile.
"Yes - sorry, it's just that he looks really like Alan Rickman, and it's rather disconcerting considering how everyone else-" She cut off again, smiling apologetically in the manner to which Harry was quickly becoming accustomed to. As he was about to respond, either to question or just agree, Hermione's name was called and began making her way up to the stool while chanting under her breath. Harry suppressed a grin; that girl was weird but she seemed a good enough sort. The sorting hat seemed to deliberate for quite a while before eventually announcing Ravenclaw, Harry wasn't surprised, the girls had told him of the house stigmas and Hermione seemed like a bit of a know-it-all if he was honest. The girl beside him however let out a little gasp, looking horrified for a beat before her face evened out. Harry wasn't sure why she was so upset – the girl seemed insistent on getting into Ravenclaw as well earlier and she'd certainly acted like she wanted Hermione as a friend, so why should she worry being in the same house? She was clever enough for it if her rambling explanations on everything from politics to magical theory to the role of genetics in determining magical status (even though he didn't understand half of what she was saying the girl made sure to include him in her theories). So Harry himself was a little upset about the fact that the only people who he had managed to make friends with (ever) would probably be in different houses to him, he couldn't imagine himself clever enough to get sorted into Ravenclaw of all places.
Just then a horrible thought struck Harry - what if the hat, instead of sorting him, said there had been a mistake, that he had to go back to the Dursleys. He began to feel a bit nauseous and panicking slightly, missed Neville's sorting, but smiled when he saw him at the Hufflepuff table, distracted he almost missed when his companion's name was called but snapped to attention as she confidently (how could she seem so calm?) made her way up to the little old stool.
"Machiavelli, Alyssa"
As the hat fell over her eyes Harry was left to worry again, and as the minutes ticked by without the hat saying a word he became even more nervous, mutters were breaking out across the hall as people quickly became bored with the delay. It was even longer than Hermione's! Before the impatient murmurs became full out talking the hat made a loud snort-like laugh which, if the rest of the hall's bemused reactions were anything to go by, was highly unusual. Another minute ticked by and Harry noticed his almost-friend become much straighter before the hat called out in a disturbingly gleeful voice.
"Slytherin!"
Alyssa stood stiffly but her face was annoyingly blank as she made her way to the table dressed in green and sat besides a smaller blonde girl who sneered at her. The applause was hesitant and seemed much less enthusiastic, and from what the others had told him Harry could guess why. On the train, they had told him about the houses, more than Hagrid had at least. Not that he didn't like the man but Alyssa's descriptions were slightly more useful than - Gryffindor Good, Slytherin Bad. Even so he had paid enough attention (despite her frustrating habit to dance around some of his questions) to notice that an apparent muggle-born in the house of the so called 'blood purists' wasn't a good thing and Harry could see that she was worried underneath her icy exterior.
This - the blatant fear for the girl who had only helped him was probably what lead him to disregard the annoyingly pompous Malfoy's sorting, and when he was called up and the hat fell over his eyes, concealing the whispering students his only thought was to desperately whisper 'Slytherin, Slytherin, Slytherin'.
'Slytherin eh?' A loud voice boomed and it took Harry a moment to realize that it was the hat, and it was talking into his head. The hat ignored his surprise - and really he should have stopped being surprised by such blatantly magical objects by now, and continued 'Hmm, difficult though. Very difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind, either. There's talent, oh yes. And a thirst to prove yourself. But where to put you?' Harry made sure to keep up his mantra. 'Slytherin, eh? Are you sure? You could fit well in Gryfindor if you'd prefer, but then again Slytherin could make you great. You know it's all here, in your head, and such loyalty to a friend is a Gryffindor trait. No? Well I suppose Slytherin will help you on the way to greatness, no doubt about that. Hmm, in that case Mr Potter, it would be a crime for you to be sorted anywhere but...'
"Slytherin!"
The whole hall went silent, and Harry suspected that his sorting had followed Alyssa's suspiciously long example. Nevertheless the mimicked her straight backed walk, tilting his chin back and making sure not to look nervous before plonking down next to Alyssa and giving her a small grin. Unfortunately she did not look amused and had, in fact gone very white and looked torn between strangling Harry and for a moment, outright crying. In all fairness she had warned him to not to get sorted into this house by any means - 'not because they're evil or anything so ridiculous but it would, at this point be most advantageous to you to play the golden Boy-Who-Lived - sorry, and there is a slight (here she snorted lightly) possibility that public opinion could turn against you should you not live up to expectations, at least unti- never mind' so her reaction wasn't too surprising, though Harry was beginning to suspect she was a bit of a drama queen.
Either way the hat had wanted him here anyway and he was going to make the most of it, while hopefully not loosing his first potential friend. His resolve didn't however prevent him from being nervous as the whole school seemed frozen in shock and he was inordinately grateful when he heard a sigh and then somewhat enthusiastic clapping from beside him which slowly spread around the hall. He did notice quite a few people on different tables refuse to clap but managed a small smile when Alyssa squeezed his hand under the table, at least she wouldn't be abandoning him.
After Zabini, Blaise finally got sorted into Slytherin and slid in next to Malfoy and opposite Harry the headmaster stood and, after a bizarre speech, clapped and mountains of food appeared. Harry couldn't help but gape, only managing to shut his mouth as Alyssa prodded him in the side and gestured to the food before putting some vegetables on her plate. He wanted to ask about the speech but felt uncomfortable with the thick atmosphere surrounding the table.
"Eat, you're skinny enough already"
He complied, even if it was a bit embarrassing for her to be mothering him he was grateful, as he was dreadfully aware of the bubble if silence around their little group and the whispers and stares (even glares) he was receiving made him feel incredibly awkward. Still he was glad Alyssa didn't appear to be mad at him anymore and was instead sending rather comical glares to the sorting hat. Eventually someone spoke up.
"Never expected a Potter in Slytherin," a ratty looking boy stated, almost questioningly though he couldn't really tell as he was looking at Harry with an unreadable expression. Everyone within a few seat radius was carefully pretending not to listen although they had all gone silent waiting for some kind of explanation. One which Harry wasn't especially inclined to give and instead settled on trying not to make a fool of himself by looking unimpressed.
"Oh?" He questioned lightly looking the boy in the eye. He shifted slightly and opened his mouth to speak again when Zabini, Blaise interrupted giving Harry an assessing look.
"You will have to excuse Nott, he is dreadful at subtlety. Blaise Zabini - house Zabini." The rest of the kids had stopped any pretence of in indifference and were leaning in to listen to Harry's reply. Harry himself was rather wary as Malfoy had said something similar when they had met on the train and then proceeded to insult Alyssa and act like a general berk, afterwards she said they shouldn't have so obviously brushed him off as it wasn't prudent to make enemies before even getting sorted but Harry wasn't going to stand by while someone acted like a prat for no good reason. Even so he understood that Zabini might be different and that even if he wasn't he didn't exactly want the whole house against him.
"Harry Potter, it's nice to meet you... Oh and this is my friend Alyssa - er, Machiavelli" He hoped, by making sure they knew he liked her, she wouldn't be insulted too much and he was beginning to feel uncomfortable under the weight of so much attention. Zabini smiled thinly and shook his hand but ignored Alyssa. Before either could speak again a pug-faced girl with pigtails butted in, sneering.
"I haven't heard of the Machiavelli's." She spoke with a superior tone obviously meant to insult and Harry stiffened in anger before Alyssa spoke, somehow managing to sound so condescending that Harry smirked a little. "Hn, well you wouldn't have." Most of the table looked confused but understood that she had been snubbed, and didn't want to admit that they hadn't known either - risking looking ignorant. But then Malfoy leaned in and destroyed any hope Harry had of fitting in, "She's just a muggleborn Pansy" he said with relish, a disgusted look on his face, like he'd smelled something terrible.
"-and Potter's just another blood traitor see - I saw him on the train, honestly I'll never know how they managed to sneak themselves into our house!" most of the faces turned quickly hostile as minutes ticked by and Harry still didn't refute the statement, their eyes passing quickly over Alyssa with scorn. They didn't appear to be listening to the rest of Malfoy's rant but there was a subtle shift in the way they acted towards him, Malfoy had said something right. From that point on the first years made sure to exclude the 'blood traitors' from the table's conversation, though some occasionally gave the duo small glares and spoke loudly of how the sorting hat must be going senile. Alyssa lightly touched his arm whenever he became angry enough to interrupt and so he managed not to blurt out a huge rant though he thought he was probably going red with the effort of containing his anger. Zabini didn't look at him again, neither to glare (like the others) or offer support. They sat in silence for the rest of the meal, both uncomfortable with drawing attention to themselves - Harry thought they both managed to hide their discomfort quite well though, under the circumstances.
When the feast was over they stood to follow the prefect, Harry expertly followed Alyssa's lead and ignored the other first year's congregation, which (what a surprise) excluded them both on the walk to the dungeons. Alyssa even struck up a quiet conversation with Harry on the walk down, and eventually managed to hiss at him to keep his wand on him when he went to bed. At that point he hadn't even considered the animosity descending to violence, though he supposed it was likely considering how that's how Dudley used to act and the Slytherins seemed quite similar so far despite Alyssa's insistence that they were 'just like us Harry'. He just wished he'd looked up some spells to protect himself.
Why ever did he ask that stupid hat to put him in Slytherin?