Dealing With the Fallout

Disclaimer: not mine

Summary: Mary and Marshall talk about Mary's broken engagement. (Okay so they don't actually talk in this chapter, but I'll get there) Set post Whistle Stop. Doesn't take into account anything after this episode. M/M

AN: This is my first fanfic and I'm not much of a writer so any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. No beta, so all mistakes are my own. I know the first chapter is a bit short, but I also know if I don't just post it I'll probably change my mind. I hate it when authors start a story and don't finish so now I've painted myself into a corner so to speak, and I have to follow through. So without further ado:

Chapter 1

Mary flopped onto the couch with a heavy sigh and immediately regretted the decision. Now that she was off her feet all she wanted to do was sleep, but her bedroom seemed like it was miles away. Deciding that she was too tired to care about a bed she curled up on her side and closed her eyes.

Despite her exhaustion her mind was restless. It jumped quickly through scenes from the last few days but never lingered on any one moment for long.

Raph telling her she didnt love him enough. Forty-six years. Marshall noticing she wasn't wearing her ring. Raph's aunt hugging her, knowing it was over. Crying in Jinxs arms. Being informed the sleazy FBI agent was asking her out. Marshall's verbal impotence. He's a beautiful, sweet, sensitive man who adored me. Yeah, who wants that?

Annoyed with her current train of thought, she groped around the coffee table until her fingers closed around the remote and clicked on the TV. She flipped quickly through the channels hoping to find something to distract her from her racing thoughts long enough to allow her drift off, but nothing held her attention. Putting the remote down, she settled on an old western and did her best to concentrate on what was happening on the screen.

After a few minutes she noticed that she had been absently rubbing her bare ring finger and her thoughts finally found focus. It felt strange not to be wearing the ring, which kind of pissed her off because she had never felt all that comfortable wearing it in the first place. It had felt awkward and heavy on her finger, and she always hated when she noticed anyone looking at it. Hell she had spent the first part of her engagement with the damn thing in her pocket most of the time, even after everyone knew about the engagement, so why on earth did its absence seem so conspicuous now.

The faint tan line that had first tipped Marshall off to the change in Marys relationship with Raph seemed to be mocking her. It pointed out that she had failed again. She drove away a wonderful man who loved her because she couldn't love him the way he needed. She knew she sucked at relationships, but if she couldnt even hold on to a man who was so desperate to marry her that, despite having the ring chucked at him after his first rejected proposal, he continued to carry it around in his pocket until he was able to use his mothers visit to guilt her into saying yes, then there really wasn't much hope of her ever maintaining a lasting relationship.

She clicked off the TV and stood up, looking around the house for something else to distract her from the depressing train of thought. The house, usually so full of drama and irritation, now seemed oppressively silent. She grabbed her keys and headed for the car not quite sure yet where she would go, just knowing this was the last place she wanted to be right now.

Mary felt her frustration build as she drove. She was honestly relieved not to be engaged to Raph anymore, so why was this eating at her. She really shouldn't care that they had broken up; she hadn't wanted to get married in the first place. Her relationship with Raph was supposed to be casual, like all her others, based primarily on satisfying each other's needs.

But no, Raph wasn't content with the status quo. He kept on pushing for her to be more invested in their relationship and somehow he succeeded. He would push and then when she went on the defensive he would act all sweet and hurt, making her feel guilty for not treating him better and she would relent. He was a good guy that honestly cared about her and that's what every girl is supposed to want. She couldn't possibly do better. Even her sister had told her that. Her mother acted like marring Raph would be the culmination of everything she could possibly want in life. While her instincts screamed at her to get out before it was too late, with Raph and her family pushing her forward she allowed herself to be convinced that the problem was that something was wrong with her. That this was what normal people did, and if she just went along with it eventually she would figure out how to be happy.

Yes, they pushed and prodded while she made concessions and slowly felt like she was loosing herself. And then Raph's stupid aunt came with her talk of babies, and happy marriages, and forty-six freaking years, and Raph finally came to realize what she had been trying to tell him all along. They were never going to work.

Then he managed to break up with her in such a way that made it about her shortcomings even though he was technically the one calling it off. She didn't love him enough. He left her, bailed on the relationship when he finally saw that Marriage wasn't going to magically turn Marry into all the things he wanted her to be, and somehow that was her fault. Well screw that. She hadn't ever pretended to be the fairytale ending type, and she couldnt help it if he was too stupid and stubborn to see that until now. He had pushed her into a relationship and then left her feeling stupid, sad, abandoned, and guilty. Well she sure as hell wasnt sad anymore. She was royally pissed, and she didn't want to waste another second thinking about her idiotic, Dominican, ex-shortstop, ex-fiance turned sleazy, commercial making, car salesman.

Her jaw was clenched and her knuckles white from gripping the steering wheel when she pulled up in front of Marshalls house. She hadn't consciously decided to come here, but wasnt surprised that it was where she ended up. Hopefully Marshall would sense her mood and offer some welcome distraction, and if not, he would make a decent punching bag on which she could vent her frustration. Marshall was tough. He could take it.