Purple Funky Monkey -- bananas for the avant garde
The What Did You Eat Last Night Series
SNAKES MAKE GOOD EATIN'
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any Stargate characters, ideas or themes. I am bananas for these characters! I'm not earning any money off this stuff; as a matter a fact, I'm not sure anyone could earn any money off my stuff. Also I don't own The Beverly Hillbillies or any of those characters.
If you've got a disclaimer that applies, well it applies and I acknowledge that. I shall proclaim as you disclaim that we should all swing through our own tree of happiness.
Spoilers: major spoilers for the Beverly Hillbillies/some Stargate sg-1 (not sure which ones). 1969/Momento Mori.
Summary: Jed Clampett is blended with the clone of Lantash. Sam/Jolinar can no longer deny her long standing feelings for Lantash/Martouf and now Jed. Jed goes under cover on a well loved Goa'uld's ship.
This story has no beta please excuse mistakes.
Pairings: DV/S and Jed Clampett/Lantash
Rating: T some language and sexual content.
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It was a dark and stormy night in Beverly Hills California. The weather was quite odd for August in Southern California, but hey lots of things were odd about 1969. War protesters, hippies, the Manson Family and those terrible Sharon Tate/Lo Bianca murders up in Nicholas Canyon well it was all a little too much for a once poor mountaineer like Jed.
"Granny, Ellie Mae, Jethro, thar's too many weirdoes here in Californy. Lock the doors up tight tonight. Granny, where's my squirrel rifle, we're goina load up the truck and get out of Berverleee. Mr. Drisdale and Ms. Hathaway can manage all our Texas tea money and we'll move on home."
"But pa, I like it here," Ellie Mae said.
"Me too," Jethro said through bites of a Dagwood sandwich. "We ain't got no cement pond back in the old home."
"You children listen to your pa," Granny said.
"Lantash, wake up," Colonel Samantha Carter shook her lover with a slight bit of irritation in her voice.
"What Samantha?"
"You told me last time you were here that Jed would let you have tonight and stay suppressed," Sam whined.
"Samantha that is what we agreed to," Lantash said.
"Well I just woke up to some dream of Jed Clampett's," Sam complained.
Lantash's eyes closed momentarily and the folksy voice of Jed took over. "I'm awfully sorry Ms. Sam, but I can't always hep but come forward when we're sleepin. Does it help that I think yur mightee purty too."
"Jed, you guys are going under cover on Ba'al's ship tomorrow and I wanted a whole night with Lantash. You know how dangerous this mission is," Sam fumed to Jed.
"Oooh doggie, what I wouldn't give for my squirrel rifle or even one of them thar zat guns," Jed said.
"Look Jed, I like you, you're a nice man, but it creeps me out a bit to wake up with you instead of Lantash."
"I understand Miss Sam. But you know, Lantash is gonna be stuck with me," Jed apologized. "You know the only reason I blended with Lantash was to try to save Ellie Mae."
"I know Jed, I know. Let's all get some sleep."
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Author's note; what do you think dear readers? Is this a love story that should continue?