Relativity
Disclaimer: I wonder what would happen if I left this blank...
The setting for this story: based entirely on the anime, post fight with Deep Blue and before all the plants were dealt with
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Here he was. Walking along the remains of the street.
'What the hell happened to this place anyway? Looks like weeds tried to take over the city'
Momomiya Toshiro continued on his way. He had to meet with his new employer before he could drop by his relative's place. A sudden crash followed by an inhuman shriek caught his attention. A cruel smirk appeared on his face.
'Well now, I guess I get to have some fun first'
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The Tokyo Mew Mews rushed over to the scene of the attack. Attacks like this had been happening recently; left over chimera anima leaking out of the oversized plants that still covered the city. Once arriving at their destination Mew Ichigo let out her battle cry.
"Chikyuu no mirai ni, gohoushi suru nyan!"
"Why don't we say 'Mew Mew style, Mew Mew grace, Mew Mew power in your face' na no da?"
The neko-fied leader turned to her youngest ally.
"This is not the time to get into that Mew Purin!"
"But why na no da? Purin wants to say a cool battle phrase too na no da!"
Ignoring the witty repartee the chimera animal charged the Mews. The mutated centipede separated them as the Mews expertly dodged its attack. They regrouped and prepared to attack. Toshiro acted first by holding his hand over his head.
"Ignoring me in the middle of a fight? That's just rude"
Electricity gathered around his hand, pulsating and giving off an angry buzz. Laughing manically Toshiro swung his hand down, sending a bolt of lightning through the hapless anima. Masha dutifully gathered up the defeated chimera and the centipede scuttled off.
"Ahhh. Well that was fun"
The Mews look at him warily. Toshiro casually walked up to them.
"And who might you five be? Some local heroines, perhaps?"
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Masaya dashed off to where Ichigo was. He felt danger and suddenly became the Blue Knight once again. Instinctively knowing to seek out and protect the love of his life he arrived at the scene in time to see the Mews looking scared in front of the black-clad and masked Toshiro. Acting quickly he landed between them and slashed across Toshiro's face. Toshiro's head snapped to the side.
"Tch. That hurt. You have a good reason for doing that? Or do I get my turn now?"
No one could answer the stranger; they couldn't believe his face didn't have a scratch. Fed up with the shocked expressions Toshiro felled the Blue knight with a single knee strike to the stomach. He flew back into a tree.
"Aoyama-kun!"
"Ah, naruhodo. He's your boyfriend. I didn't damage him too much so don't get all weepy on me"
"How dare you attack him like that! Strawberry Bell!"
Summoning her weapon Mew Ichigo stepped between Toshiro and the Blue Knight. Toshiro was unimpressed.
"Don't waste your life"
"I won't let you hurt him"
"Kuso. I didn't come here to do that. He hit me first; it was self defense!"
"Nyan? Wait, you aren't trying to trick me, are you?"
"No. I'm not. However… why-what are you trying to accomplish by asking me that?"
Mew Ichigo tried to think of something to say. Toshiro just stood there with a raised eyebrow. The Blue knight stood back up. Mew Ichigo rushed over to his side, ignoring the rather annoyed Toshiro. He crossed his arms and drummed his fingers.
"I'm waiting. Or have you figured out that I have no intention of continuing our pointless fight?"
Zakuro was bored. This guy apparently wasn't going to fight them; it looked more like he was as bored as she was. Keeping her face expressionless she reached over toward Minto. She cupping her hand on Minto's bottom she began rubbing slowly. Minto froze. She knew the only one next to her was none other than Mew Zakuro.
'Onee-sama… Onee-sama is…'
Minto jerkily turned to look at Mew Zakuro. For her part the wolfish girl smirked at the quickly reddening Minto. Sensing that it was a good idea, Zakuro pulled the shorter girl's hip closer to her own.
'She IS coming on to me!'
Mew Zakuro chuckled as Minto passed out, lost in ecstasy; a goofy smile on her face. Mew Purin and Mew Retasu were too busy watching Mew Ichigo and Toshiro argue to notice.
"You jerk! You say that but I know you're plotting something!"
"Oh please. Like I would waste my time on you! Even if I am a retired villain, I have some pride"
"As if! You just like fighting girls don't you! Pervert!"
"I'm no hentai! And you're too young for me anyway!"
"Oi! I am so old enough!"
"Oh? Then what about your boyfriend?"
"Ack! Aoyama-kun! I didn't mean it! He tricked me!"
Toshiro narrowed his eyes.
'She's so familiar… it couldn't be her, could it?'
"Itchy-chan?"
"Don't call me that Toshiro no baka!!"
"I knew it! It is you!"
Mew Ichigo stomped her foot and pointed at him. An angry look crossed her features.
"Toshiro-itoko! You big jerk when did you get here?"
"I just got here. Since when are you a mahou shoujo?"
"Oi! Why're you a bad guy!"
"I'm retired, itoko"
"Yeah so?"
"Nevermind. I have to go check in with my new boss. I'll see you later"
Toshiro teleported away. Mew Ichigo turned to the other Mews.
"Gomen mina-san. That was just my itoko, Toshiro"
Ichigo eyes wandered over to Minto and Zakuro.
"What the hell did you do to her Zakuro!!"
Mew Zakuro innocently looked down to where Minto's unconscious body lay against her. With a face still free of visible emotion she replied.
"Nothing much"
"Did Zakuro-onee-chan molest Minto-onee-chan na no da?"
Before Mew Purin could continue Mew Retasu clamped a hand over her eyes. It was then decided that they would just leave for Café Mew Mew.
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Once inside the Café and in their waitress uniforms the Mews went about taking care of the customers. Minto was still out cold, so they just sat her at her table. After awhile the doors opened. Retasu was closest so she answered it.
"Irasshaimase. Can I show you to a table-eep!"
It was Toshiro. He had abandoned the all black outfit in favor of a dark blue tailed jacket with matching slacks; the classic butler's uniform.
"I'm here looking for Aizawa Minto. Is she in?"
Retasu fumbled about, bumping into Ichigo.
"Ah! Gomen nasai Ichigo-san!"
"Retasu what's going-Toshiro! Why are you here?"
Toshiro straightened his tie.
"I came here to find Aizawa Minto. If the outfit wasn't a clue, I'm her new kajuu"
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Toshiro sighed. After promising to explain himself once Minto had awoken, he was left to stand behind Minto; who was still sleeping. She had begun to drool a little, which of course he dutifully wiped off. Most of the girls at the café snickered at him. Close to closing time Minto stirred. She stretched and yawned.
"Glad to see you wake Ojou-sama"
"Hm? Oh, yes. I'll be-nani? I don't have servants to come wake be up!"
Minto turned quickly to see who had spoken her.
"Is there anything you require, Ojou-sama?"
"Who are you? Why are you calling me that?"
"I am Momomiya Toshiro. I have been hired by your parents to serve you"
That said Toshiro bowed deeply to Minto. To her credit Minto adapted quickly.
"I see. Very well then. Do go and get me more tea, will you?"
"Would you like cream or sugar with that?"
"Cream"
"As you wish, Ojou-sama"
Toshiro left to fetch Minto her tea. She smiled.
"I could get used to this"
"Don't you already live with this everyday?"
Minto turned to Ichigo, smiling haughtily and waving her finger.
"Oh Ichigo you simple girl. My Oni-sama has personal servants, not me. You have stayed over at my house before so you should know that much at least"
Ichigo bristled at Minto. Retasu gently tried to calm her down.
"Maa maa, Ichigo-san. You know Minto-san is always like this"
"Purin says you should smile na no da!"
Toshiro returned with Minto's tea and poured it for her. He held up the cream.
"Shall I pour your cream, Ojou-sama?"
"Yes, of course you may"
Toshiro poured until Minto motioned for him to stop. Zakuro sat down across from her.
"Do I get one as well?"
"Certainly Onee-sama. Toshiro?"
"At once Ojou-sama"
Toshiro dutifully poured tea for Zakuro. Ichigo looked like a volcano erupted from the top of her head.
"Hold it right there Toshiro! How can you be so complacent! You were never like this when we were kids!"
"You never paid me"
Ichigo sputtered, her argument cut short. Toshiro smirked.
"Then again, it was always far too much fun teasing you. So, do you still bat at feathers dangled from a string?"
"Toshiro-teme!! I bet you're still are scared of dogs!"
Ichigo laughed arrogantly, thinking she had her cousin beat. Toshiro ground his teeth as tic marks appeared on his head.
"I'm not scared of dogs, they just hate me. And I hate them back"
Minto looked shocked.
"What about Mikki?"
"Relax Ojou-sama, Mikki just tries to bite me. There is no problem"
"But..Mikki bit you? He's never bitten anyone before!"
"Then it pleases me to be the first"
Minto narrowed her eyes at Toshiro.
"You're lying, aren't you?"
"Yes. But aside from Mikki's ineffective bites there is no problem. He gets bored quickly and lets go easily"
"Well I-"
Minto froze as she felt something brush against her leg. Zakuro continued to rub her foot up and down Minto's shin. A fully reddened Minto looked at her tablemate, who winked at her. Minto furiously tried to control her heart rate.
"Ojou-sama?"
"Huh? What? D-don't sneak up on me like that!"
"You are turning red, Ojou-sama. Is there any problem?"
"What? No! I'm not!"
Toshiro noted the look on Minto's and more importantly Zakuro's face.
'Like the cat who ate the canary, or in this case the wolf who ate the lorikeet'
He looked over to Minto, now being questioned by Purin, and decided not to pursue the matter further. Minto huffed and refused to answer any of Purin's questions while Ichigo scolded her for being mean to Purin. Shirogane broke the mood.
"You said earlier that you would answer some questions. Now is an ideal time"
True enough, the last customer had left awhile ago. Toshiro shrugged.
"I guess you're right. I suppose you have all figured out why I'm here-"
"Hurry up. How did you get hit with a sword and not cut? Where does that power of yours come from?"
Toshiro leveled his eyes at Shirogane.
"Fine. Like the okama wants-"
"Oi!"
The Mews and Keiichiro shared a laugh at Toshiro's description of Shirogane. Toshiro continued while Shirogane glared daggers at him.
"As I was saying the reason behind be not getting cut is the tattoo on my back. When I went to India I found a city where the Buddhist monks seal spirits into people by tattooing them. The effect of the tattoo grants the bearer invulnerability to blades and bullets. The spirit sealed within me is a snake"
"But why would you do that na no da?"
"Eh, I felt like it"
Stunned slightly by his blunt statement Purin couldn't respond. Shirogane could and did.
"Then why can you use lightning?"
"Oh come now, did you really think that you were the only ones with superhuman powers at your disposal? This is a wide wide world; and there have been many that came before you"
Shirogane glared at the butler.
"That doesn't explain-"
"Anyone other than the uke have a question?"
Unable to take anymore Ichigo feel down, laughing her head off. Minto and Zakuro giggled in a more sedated way while Retasu blushed and Purin looked confused.
"Purin wants to know what an 'uke' is na no da!"
Toshiro chuckled as he answered.
"That's what you ca-"
"ENOUGH! Look you. You better start cooperating or else I'll-"
"You'll what? You don't have anywhere near the power necessary to take me down"
The atmosphere in the café suddenly shifted. The hair on the back of everyones' necks stood up. Toshiro directed his gaze to Shirogane's eyes. He smirked cruelly and slowly stepped towards the frightened blonde.
"I've beaten down punks like you for years; ever since junior high school"
Shirogane took a step back.
"And every last one of them sounded just. Like. You. So full of yourself you can't even realize your own short comings"
Toshiro stepped forward at the same time Shirogane stepped back again.
"Aw, are you scared now? Of little old me?"
Toshiro chuckled darkly.
"Toshiro! Yamero!"
"Hai Ojou-sama"
Instantly the threatening atmosphere evaporated. Toshiro returned to Minto's side.
"Forgive me, Ojou-sama. I felt in necessary to let him know who I was"
"Toshiro-itoko. What was that? You were never like that before…"
He turned to his distraught cousin.
"Ichigo. You have nothing to worry about. Being evil was just a hobby. Now that I'm out of high school I don't do that sort of thing anymore. Besides; the only reason I started in the first place is because the so called heroes at my old school were so lame. Somebody had to beat them up"
Toshiro noted the dubious looks he was receiving. He sighed.
"You ever heard of the Manly Men Society of Virtue?"
He got negative answers.
"Then count yourselves lucky. They're worse then DBZ's Ginyu force and Naruto's Maito Gai combined"
Various shoulders shivered.
"Please, do continue Toshiro-san"
Complying with Retasu's request Toshiro sighed.
"Those idiots that go around calling themselves the Manly Men Society of Virtue are a collection of five males; each one uses a different weapon and they all have enchanted armor. The leader, er… actually I never bothered to remember their names. Anyway he has red vaguely samurai armor and wields an okatana. The next two have double weapons; twin hook swords and a katana-wakazashi combo. Their armors are reminiscent of Chinese and Japanese respectively. The last two also have Chinese and Japanese like weapons and armor. One uses a kwandao and the other uses a tetsubo"
Toshiro pulled out a chair and plunked himself down in a discourteous fashion. A scowl crossed his features.
"They never shut up about their manliness and youth and oh so many other infuriating things. They practically demanded to have someone kick their asses. Needless to say I stepped up"
Toshiro chuckled darkly as he recalled all the humiliating defeats he handed to those armor-clad dolts.
"Time and time again I crushed them. It was almost too easy but then… new heroes showed up"
A maniacal gleam glistened in his eyes.
"It was GLORIOUS! Spell casters, mages, magical girls, witches, warriors, fighters-- they all came to battle me. Some even came close enough to victory to inspire more to show up. In the end they all fell to my power, and the name Kurogasa struck terror in to the hearts of men! I even had other villains attack me to try their hand at world domination. Yet I still reign supreme and undefeated!"
Toshiro's maniacal laughter echoed throughout the café. Until a shoe bounced of the side of his head.
"Ichigo, did you just hit me with your shoe?"
"Yes, because you started your 'evil laugh' routine again. That was the only way I could shut you up"
"Nothing like being hit with a shoe to calm your nerves. What a buzz kill"
As Toshiro returned the shoe Zakuro spoke up.
"I take it he's done that before?"
"Every time he gets going with his 'evil laugh' regardless of how it started it's almost impossible to make him stop. My Dad's the same way when he talks about being a sushi chef"
Toshiro bonked Ichigo on the head.
"I'm still here, you know. Anyway, suffice it to say from junior high through to the end of high school was full of various combatants for me and I never lost. The name I adopted was Kurogasa and I wore a mask over my eyes. That chapter of my life is over, I am now Minto-Ojou-sama's kajuu, yadda yadda end of story"
He got more than his fair share of incredulous looks.
"I was never in it for world domination, destruction or enslavement. I just did it so I could beat people up"
"And that's better because?"
As a retort to his cousin's question Toshiro whipped out some string with some feathers attached to the end. He dangled it in front of Ichigo, who promptly began to bat at it. The rest of the people in the café sweat dropped. Realizing what she was doing she stopped.
"Damn it! Don't do that Toshiro-baka!!"
Nihongo no jisho
Chikyuu no mirai ni, gohoushi suru nyan For the future of Earth I'll be of service meow
naruhodo I see
kuso shit
hentai pervert
Onee-sama respected elder sister
gomen/gomen nasai sorry/I'm sorry
itoko cousin (stand alone word or suffix)
mina-san everyone
irasshaimase welcome (said by workers to customers entering a place of business)
kajuu butler
baka idiot
oi hey
teme you (very rude way to address someone)
Ojou-sama what you call a young woman of high status
nani what
yamero stop
okama teapot (slang for a gay person)
uke submissive in a gay relationship