I sigh as I see them, my children. The memories of the past continue to build up in my mind- more and more unfold themselves, pushing my mind that much closer to explosion. The only thing to keep my nervous break down at bay was the two creatures in front of me, carelessly living the day away. Not to mention the comfort of the strong arms wrapped around me. Peeta, my husband stood behind me as we watched our children playing around.
I sighed again, internally this time. How many years later and I still can't believe that he's here for me, and with me. He is the second best thing to happen to me since the end of Snow. It's so hard to believe that we are safe. After those years of the repairing progress, everything in our past is still so real. I have to keep reminding myself, 'No more games, no more snow.' I would never have given a second thought towards anything more then barely surviving, while living in district 12; each year hoping to slip through the capitol's grasp yet again.
I would not have believed if someone would tell me that 13 years later I would be standing on my own porch, watching my own children, safe.
Yet, here I am with my husband, who continuously reminds me that we are alive and well. Here we are enjoying the summer sun as it sets behind the forest, what used to be my second home. I would have laughed if someone said that to me so long ago. Now here I am, wondering to my self 'why am I not happy?' No, that's not true; I am happy. The real question is what is holding me back from taking that first breath of fresh, safe air?
I feel Peeta's arms tighten around me then his breath against my ear before he whispers, 'After ten years, with two children and no threat hanging over our heads, anyone would assume you'd be happy." Hearing that I smile weakly. To this day he always surprises me with how he always knows exactly what I am thinking about.
"I am happy Peeta, truly I am." Peeta snickers to himself, he could see through my lies as one could see through water.
"I'm serious Peeta! I am happy, It's just…" I trail off. He sighs, and turns me around so I'm looking at his face.
"I know." Is all he says. I lick my lips and blow out a fast heavy sigh. I lean forward against his chest, leaning my head against it.
"These scars," I begin. "Are way too deep to heal; Emotional, mental, physical, it doesn't matter. Not even the top notch capitol equipment can cover them up." Peeta sighs, and hugs me tighter, I can tell he's thinking about everything I am saying and more.
I continue. "No matter how much time has passed, it still feels as if it were only yesterday that we were in district 13; you completely clueless to everything, and me over compartmentalizing everything." I was looking at Peeta's face again. With the look he had I knew he clearly felt the same way.
At the time, everyone thought that I was recovering faster then anyone, when really I wasn't. I'm not exactly sure when it all had sunk in. All I know is it hit me harder then…Well, it doesn't matter now. Peeta recovered more then I have. After we had returned to our home and when our oldest daughter Gracie was born I could see the old Peeta in him returning. His heart-warming smile, the bright creative mind everyone knew him to have.
"No matter how much it truly messed us up, you know we can't let it effect us as much as it has." Peeta says, pulling me out of thought. I look down and exhale slowly.
"We have to enjoy our life as it is now. Not fret over what it used to be, and could have been. Living our lives now is a privilege. One that we most definitely should and will take advantage of."
I know he is right; he was and is always right. I glance up to his face again to see him looking out towards the meadow. I follow his gaze to see our littlest boy, Isaac, tackle our Gracie into the tall grass. Both of us smile when we hear their child like giggles fill the air.
I can feel Peeta looking at me again. He has a content smile, which brings one back to my face. "If it becomes too difficult to live for ourselves, we must do it for them." I nod and lean in to hug him again. As horrible as it was for me, I can't let my children see it, or heaven for bid feel even a bit of the pain of the past.
"Thank you." I whisper after the silence took over. I feel him pull away to look down at me.
"What on earth for?" He asks, amusement evident in his tone.
"For reminding me that the past is the past and our future is our children." Peeta nods and places a quick kiss to the top of my head.
"No games, wonderful children. What more could we ask for?" He says. I smile and meet his eyes.
"Each other" I say. He laughs and puts his arm around my shoulder as we leave the porch and walk in the direction of our children.
"I thought that was a given Miss Mellark." He says, I laugh into his shoulder.
"Daddy!" At the sound of his favourite name, Peeta runs forward and scoops the little boy up. Isaac falls into a fit of giggles as Peeta throws him over his shoulder and runs toward our daughter who screams and runs away. My hand covers my mouth as I laugh at the sight. Peeta's right; What more could I ask for? I have everything I ever wanted; a family to love, and to cherish.
I'm about to join the group of fellow Mellarks when something, or should I say someone taps my elbow. I turn to see a familiar young boy standing there. He holds out a long box to me which I take.
"Here you are Mrs. Mellark. This is all the mail you have today." I give a small smile to the boy. I wasn't surprised. If anything I was surprised we even got mail now-a-days. Gale never writes anymore, and my mother will give us a phone call once and a while. I reach into my pocket to find the quarters I always keep on me. I had learned very quickly that Luke was a dedicated coin collector.
"Here you are Luke, if I remember correctly you don't have these ones, right?" He takes them and gives them a once over. By the change of expression on his face I know I was correct.
"Wow! I've never seen these kinds of quarters! Thanks a lot Mrs. Mellark!" He yells behind him as he runs off. I nod and wave.
When I turn back around I see Peeta walking towards me with Isaac around his shoulders and Gracie wrapped around his left leg. His expression changed from glee to confused, which reminds me of the box in my hands.
"What's that?" He asks as he sets down Isaac. I shrug my shoulders and look to the box.
"I'm not sure, Luke brought it by just now." Peeta nods and moves closer to me.
"Is there a return address?" He asks. I shake my head 'no.'
"Only my name and our district number" I say. Peeta hums curiously as he investigates. I can tell he is just as confused as I am. He takes the box from me and turns it around. Not a single clue to where or who this came from was found. I look up to Peeta and see him squinting at the package.
"Might as well open it," He says as he places a hand on my shoulder. I nod and take the package from him and tear the brown paper covering, letting it fall to the ground. The falling paper reveals a long black matt box; one that did not have the look of holding something cheap. I'm not sure why but my breathing pattern suddenly quickened, almost meeting my heart beat which was beating unusually fast.
'Why am I so nervous?' I swallow hard then take hold of the lid of the box. Slowly I lift it, gagging at the smell from within the box. At first I assume it could be some stupid prank, some kid sending us a dead animal of sorts; which is what I pray for it to be once I get a small whiff of the too familiar sweet stench. I gasp when I see it, exactly what I feared; the one thing that made a current appearance in my nightmares. A single white rose.
It's sitting upon a black velvet cloth bed. The stench becomes stronger the longer we have it exposed. Sweet rose, and iron heavy blood. Peetas grip on my shoulder tightens. I look up to see his expression filled with anger.
"Peeta," I whisper. He nods slowly, then picks up the rose. I do my best to not vomit right there and then. Peeta turns the rose around and around. I'm assuming he's looking for evidence for it to be anything but what we fear.
Then I see it; a note. Underneath the rose sat a small white card, a card just like what would come in a parachute case during the Games. Peeta doesn't notice it, so I pick it up and turn it over. There in typewriter ink where the words:
'Fire may be catching,
Yet sometimes Snow is just too powerful.'
My eyes grow wide, and my hand raises to cover my mouth. The drop of the box is what catches Peeta's attention.
"Katniss?" Peeta asks. I don't respond. "Katniss, what is that?" I still don't respond. Peeta takes the card in his free hand and reads it over. He looks to me, fear matching mine.
"But he's-"
"I know" I cut him off. Peeta gulps then exhales slowly.
"This can't be him though." He says.
"I know Peeta!" I snap. "You think I don't know that? I'm the one who put an arrow through his head!" I then realize that I was yelling. I look down to see Gracie and Isaac looking confused yet terrified.
"Oh no, I'm sorry you two, I didn't mean to get mad." I kneel down and Isaac steps towards me then leans into my side. I look up to Peeta with pleading eyes. His expression hasn't changed much, but picks up Gracie anyways.
With no words said we both take our children inside and send them off to play. Peeta and I both go to our living room. We stand there staring at the open box with the rose and note, although it felt as if it were staring at us. We don't say anything for a long while. Eventually it is Peeta who breaks the silence.
"What do we do?" He asks. I don't know what to say. I don't have a plan. I don't have a clue on what to do.
"We keep them safe." I say. "If he's back, or if it's someone else as a replacement, we do everything we can to save them." I turn to Peeta, he's already looking at me. I have tears in my eyes, which he see's because he instantly pulls me to him.
"He can't take them Peeta" My voice cracks as I say this. Peeta begins to slowly run his hand up and down my back. "He can't" At this point I have broken down into a complete sob.
"Shh, Katniss he won't take them. I will not let him take them." I didn't need anymore convincing after that. Even though his sentence was so short and simple, I couldn't deny the amount of truth behind it.
"So what do we do?" I ask.
"We leave." He says. I nod because I know he's right. District 12 is my home, it has and always will be, but if it's not safe, especially for my children, then we must leave. I stand up straight on my own then take a deep breath.
Once again no words are spoken as we get everything together to leave. I instantly go to the kids bedroom, and tell them each to pack a bag of toys etc. while I get together clothes, and essential things. I've told them that we are going on a trip. Which they were instantaneously excited for.
Once I finished filling bags with their clothes and other important things, I gave a once over with what they packed, and took out what could be left behind. Once it all seemed okay, I left to Peeta and I's room and did the same with our things. That was finished quickly, so I brought out all of our things to the living room where Peeta was fastening the straps on his traveling backpack. He looked to me and nodded his head once.
"Ready?" He asks. I nod and give a weak smile.
"All set" I say.
With that Peeta shouldered his back pack and picked up the kids bag. The four of us made our way out back to the white vehicle that Peeta had pulled out from the shed. Since the ending of the reaping, the capitol had opened up and was sending out more and more 'expensive, beyond our time' products to each district.
Peeta loads the car while I fasten Gracie and Isaac into the make shift safety seats we had made for them. I heard the back door close to the car and the sound of Peeta's foots steps against the gravel dirt ground. Peeta looks at me and I look at him, then he embraces me. He holds me while he says, 'We're going to be okay," He lets go and walks to the drivers side of the car. I follow suit and climb inside.
"You two ready?" I ask the kids. They both throw their hands in the air while yelling, 'Yeah!' I snicker to myself then turn back to face the road. I can see Peeta smiling.
I lean back in my chair. I didn't know where we were going, neither did Peeta. All I knew was that we needed to leave. The fire was being put out, and snow was moving in.
A/N: i hope you liked this (: I most likely won't be doing a second part. (Unless for some reason this gets a lot of attention) this story is originally part of a novel study for school. The assignment was to write an addition to your book. I chose all three books in the series so i continued with mocking jay (: obviously! I hope you lijed this, as i said before. Review if you'd like ^_^