THE POINT OF NO RETURN
Since my online BFF did Erik's thoughts and feelings during MOTN, I thought I'd do PONR. And no, I don't own it. But I wish I did.
I was ready, crouched behind the set, my Punjab lasso in my hand. I heard that fat bastard Piangi wrecking—excuse me, singing—my opera, and then the curtain parted to let him through. He didn't bother to look up while he began the laborious process of donning the robe that was not appealing to his form at all. I couldn't let a second go by unused. I dropped down behind him, and though he heard me, I had the strangling rope around his neck before he could utter a sound.
"No thoughts within her head, but thoughts of joy!
No dreams within her heart, but dreams of love!"
Ah, my dear Christine…I left the dead man where he lay, and, whisking my cloak up to hide most of my face, stepped onto the stage in his place.
There she was. Seated there, on the wooden floor, clad in the dress whose shoulders sagged and left her fine throat bare. She toyed with a rose from her basket, and I suppressed my urge to break the opera and stride towards her.
"Master?"
"Passarino…go away, for the trap is set, and waits for its prey…"
This had to be my favorite song from my work. The seductiveness of it…I had written it for Christine, the first night she had spent in my lair, while she slept a room away. She had been my inspiration. I had gone to look at her many times during the night, and she was always sleeping soundly, unaware of my desperate love for her. How I had wished to seduce her! But now, I could. Through my melodious voice, I could draw upon her soul and make it part of mine. I lowered my cape and, stepping farther downstage, began.
"You have come here in pursuit of your deepest urge!
In pursuit of that wish which, till now, has been silent…silent…"
Her deep chocolate eyes turned toward me, wide with fear. I raised a finger to my lips in subtle caution, warning her not to let on.
"I have brought you that our passions may fuse and merge!
In your mind, you've already succumbed to me,
Dropped all defenses, completely succumbed to me…"
Her eyes had closed, and her head was tilted back ever so slightly. I took a small step forward, but restrained myself. I had to be content, for the moment, to simply watch my voice take its toll upon her mind.
"Now you are here with me, no second thoughts,
You've decided…decided…"
My cape swished softly as I swirled it seductively around my arm. She rose from her position, still gazing deep into my eyes. My voice rolled with the music, deep and full, with the barest tone of warning and its ever-present romance.
"Past the point of no return, no backward glances!
Our games of make-believe are at an end!"
Now I could finally move toward her. Her body called to me, and I longed to caress it with my deft fingers. There would be time. I closed my eyes for an instant, my sense of desire beginning to overtake me.
"Past all thought of 'if' or 'when', no use resisting!
Abandon thought, and let the dream descend!"
My legs had carried me faster than I had realized. I was circling her, barely a metre away. I could see the worthy Madame Giry, standing in the wings, watching me with discontent, but I did not care. Nothing could cease the wild passion within me that cried for release. Not even I. I took one large step, and she was in my arms, her back pressed against me. My hand went to cover her throat, grazing her protruding collarbones.
"What raging fire shall flood the soul? What rich desire unlocks its door?
What sweet seduction lies before us?"
Seduction, indeed. It was my only thought. I broke away from her, tearing myself from the heat that threatened to drown me. I let my hands slide across her neck, and shoulder, and down her arm until I held her outstretched hand close to my face. I just barely grazed her knuckles with my eager lips.
"Past the point of no return, the final threshold!
What warm, unspoken secrets will we learn,
Beyond the point of no return?"
I released her hand and stepped back. She turned slightly away, drawing up the restless shoulders of her fitted dress. I glanced up at Box Five, knowing it was invaded by that foppish Vicomte. God, how I would have loved to murder him. I kept my expression neutral as my Angel began to sing.
"You have brought me to that moment where words run dry
To that moment when speech disappears into silence…silence…"
The Vicomte was gesturing to the policeman who shared my box with him. The officer drew his pistol, but kept still at the firm gesture of the young noble. So the bastard knew it was I who sang with his lady. Bah.
"I have come here hardly knowing the reason why!
In my mind, I've already imagined our bodies entwining,
Defenseless and silent…"
She sang as though she truly had imagined such actions. I wished to God and the Devil she had, but I knew it was most unlikely. I had not missed the very small hint of fear in her lovely eyes as she looked lazily over to me. Those damned straps of her dress…I wanted to stride forward and seize her as they fell yet again.
"And now I am here with you, no second thoughts,
I've decided…decided…"
She gave the tiniest nod of her head at this, and my lips parted. She had decided. She had decided to accept the fact that she was with me. I would make her mine. She knew it.
"Past the point of no return, no going back now!
Our passion-play has now, at last, begun!"
She stepped toward the flame-painted, spiral staircase. I mirrored her, and our eyes never left. I had thought I was the seductive one, but as she sang, the tight trousers I wore grew tighter. I had to break the spell a little, so I looked down to the step I was about to take.
"Past all thought of right or wrong, one final question:
How long should we two wait before we're one?"
My legs nearly ceased to work altogether. We should never have waited, Christine, I thought. She leaned toward me as she sang this, and my eyes roved her tightly clad body swiftly. Control yourself, I thought.
"When will the blood begin to race? The sleeping bud burst into bloom?
When will the flames, at last, consume us?"
They had already consumed me. I could barely sing with her, locking on her eyes again as we reached the top of the stair. With a swift movement of my arm, I left the cape draped over the railing. It would only get in the way.
"Past the point of no return…"
We drew nearer each other.
"…the final threshold!"
We were very close now.
"The bridge is crossed…"
My hands found her waist in a quick grabbing motion, and hers found mine.
"…so stand and watch it burn!"
I turned her swiftly, pressing my hands flat to her stomach and bringing her back against my body. I buried my face in her hair, her closeness driving me mad. Her eyes were closed, and her head tilted to the side to allow the intrusion of my jawline. My hands covered hers, and trailed up her torso, crossing her breast. The damned Vicomte was probably sobbing by now. Fool.
"We've passed the point of no…return…"
God, we had. I could scarcely breathe. The theatre was silent, save the long motions of the violins from the orchestra pit below. I breathed Christine's scent deeply, my hands trailing up to touch her face. She was so relaxed, pressed against my chest, her head giving very little pressure on my shoulder. Tears welled in my eyes. I sang quietly, not sure if I could be heard by any other than her.
"Say you'll share with me one love…one lifetime…"
Had these words been written before?
"Lead me, save me from my solitude!"
God, please, Christine!
"Say you want me with you, here, beside you…"
Her hand covered mine gently, and I took it, stepping back, determined to have her love through the tears that threatened to slide beneath my mask.
"Anywhere you go, let me go too!"
That tiny little smile, that hint of pity in her eyes…it was too much for me.
"Christine…"
I was off the opera now, I was sure. Our hands went to each other's faces.
"…that's all I ask of—"
Oh, god, no. Oh, god. I should have seen it. The little vixen!
Screams and gasps filled the air as the crowd stared upon my loathed and abhorrent deformity. How could she? Here, I'd thought she had accepted me.
Who is the fool now, O. G.?
This was a look I truly could not bear, that she gave me now. She delighted in my pain.
She would have hell to pay.