Coming Home From Hell Part 2

by Mc Parrot

When Jack came home from the year that never was his ex partner John murdered him by throwing him off a building. Although he revived from the death his body was too exhausted, too run down and too traumatised to heal completely.

Coming Home from Hell part 2

A/N Okay, you all knew I couldn't leave this as it was. It never really was finished, well now it is.

There is no plot, just angst and hurt Jack and Ianto comfort with a touch of Gwen and Owen.

Follows on from Coming Home from Hell but stands alone. All you need to know is explained in the first 2 paragraphs. I tried to write it in a similar style to Coming Home part 2 but it didn't quite work. Part of my Home series.

Usual disclaimers – not mine but if anyone wants me to write the books I'd be delighted. No actors were harmed in the making of this story.

twtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtw

When Jack came home from the year that never was his ex partner John murdered him by throwing him off a building. Although he revived from the death his body was too exhausted, too run down and too traumatised to heal completely. He got through the rest of the day, saw John and Gwen rescued from a bomb that could have levelled half the city and sent John back through the rift and time.

When John made his parting comment about finding Grey, Jack was thrown into complete shock. His mental state, already fragile from what he had been through in the past year and the anxieties of the day went into a meltdown to rival his body's collapse. Seriously ill and in terrible pain he had been taken to the Hilton Hotel by Owen where they were staying to avoid themselves. There after a spectacular panic attack ended in a vomiting episode that didn't stop until Owen intervened medically Jack's mind and body had closed down. Unwilling to take him to hospital Owen and Ianto had cleaned him up and put him to bed.

Jack slept like he hadn't slept for a year. As he had been kept upright in chains for the whole time he was on the Valiant that was not an understatement. He slept deeply and soundly and as he did his body started to heal and his mind to process everything that had happened to him. His sleep was so deep that Owen instigated two hourly turns so that he wouldn't get pressure sores or pneumonia.

Gwen fought bitterly with the Hilton management over their right to occupy the suite until Jack recovered. The suite had only been booked for one night and the management were understandably annoyed when Torchwood insisted on staying. Gwen decided to check Jack's assertion that the government would pay for their say. She rang Whitehall. She was now on first name terms with some of the staff there due to taking charge of operations while Jack was away. To her credit she managed not to stammer when her call was routed to the Prime Minister's office. All though she didn't speak to the PM personally, he was still busy trying to sort out the mess left by his murderous predecessor, his secretary informed her that Captain Jack Harkness and Torchwood Three were to expect the highest level of government cooperation. The Hilton management became very obsequious after that.

It made them all really curious as to what Jack had been up to in his time away.

In the meantime he lay on the bed like an inanimate object. Thirty six hours after falling asleep Jack woke briefly, dissolved in tears of relief to find he really was back in Cardiff in the early twenty first century with Ianto to look after him and slept again. After that his sleep was lighter, more restless as dreams flickered behind his closed eyelids – bad dreams. Owen kept up the narcotics to keep him as pain free as possible. His back was still a bruised and shattered mess. He had quite serious internal injuries. If he were conscious he would be in severe pain. In spite of being dreadfully angry at his boss for leaving them Owen didn't want him to be in pain.

Medically Jack was a mess. It was only the fact that he couldn't die that was stopping Owen from sending him to hospital. Even so, Owen was deeply concerned. Jack had obviously reverted to default human healing patterns and his body was badly damaged. Owen didn't really have the right equipment to deal with it, but taking Jack to hospital didn't seem an option. He did his best with fluids, oxygen, pain relief and mild sedation to keep him calm when the dreams started. Keep him quiet and let him heal, no hospital doctor could really do anymore. Jack would wake up when he was ready.

Gwen and Ianto nursed him, cleaning, changing and sitting holding his hand. Ianto slept with him, holding him and crooning. Jack seemed to be aware of Ianto's presence, calming and relaxing into his arms. In spite of all the conflicting feelings Ianto was going through, holding Jack in his arms again felt good. He slept better than he had done for months.

On the fourth day Jack woke up.

Twtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtw

Jack woke up and his bladder was bursting. He didn't stop to process how, why or where he was he just shot out of bed aiming for the nearest bathroom.

And came to a screaming halt.

Literally. OH FUCK! Pain shot from the centre of his back to his toes, through his belly and lodged in his throat. He didn't scream, he couldn't. Fuck that hurts! Hurts. Hurts. Hurts like being trampled by elephants. Hurts like falling off a building. His brain made the link. He remembered. Remembered what had happened and where he was. Staggering he crashed into the wall in front of him arms spread to hold himself up. He was going to faint.

He didn't. He shut his eyes and dragged air desperately into his lungs. Not healed then, obviously. God that hurt. His whole body hurt and his bladder was screaming for release. He had to pee. Leaning heavily on the furniture he made his way around the bed until he was facing what must be the bathroom door in front of him. It was closed.

He'd just reached the door when he heard the sound of a toilet flushing. He fumbled to open the door, didn't matter who was in there, he had to go. Ianto wouldn't mind. As he put his hand on the door handle the door opened and he stumbled through it thoroughly surprising…

'Gwen!'

'Jack, sweetheart,' she beamed at him. To say Gwen was surprised to see him was an understatement. He shown as much animation as a jelly fish for the whole of the time she'd been watching over him today. 'You're awake,' she stuttered. You're naked, she thought. Of course you're naked, I've been looking after you and you didn't have any clothes on. Somehow Jack tucked under the sheets naked was an entirely different prospect to Jack naked standing in front of her. Even if he did look like shit. 'Ianto will be so pleased.'

'I…' Jack's legs were trembling. 'Need to pee,' he said desperately. The world was swimming around him, the air felt thick and hot. And suddenly it was too late. His legs buckled and his bladder released like someone had opened a stopcock. Hot fluid flooded down his legs and over his feet. He gasped in horror. So did Gwen.

Jack felt himself swung around in some sort of arm lock. The room spun dizzyingly and the next thing he was staggering, the back of his knees hit the toilet seat and he sat abruptly. He flung his arm out to save himself and the wall wasn't there. His other arm was grabbed and he was dragged upright. What? His right arm went here, was chained up here. Confused his arm dropped and urine continued to flood out of him and it wasn't a relief, it felt awful. His whole body emptied. He had absolutely no control. He shut his eyes and set his teeth against the tears determined not to show his distress, he wouldn't let them see this, he wouldn't. Wouldn't give them their kicks.

'Jack.' Gwen crouched in front of her charge. She was supposed to be looking after him and now look. Owen would kill her. 'Oh Jack,' she'd just noticed something, 'You've pulled your drip out.' He didn't seem to hear her. He was sitting hunched away from her like he was expecting to be hurt. His right arm was flung out strangely like a broken wing. She reached a hand out and snagged a towel off a rail, flinging it at the puddle on the floor. She grabbed another one and went to drape it around his shoulders to keep him warm. 'Jack love, can you hear me?' He had his eyes tight shut, tears leaking from the corners. As she put her hand on his shoulder to put the towel around him he gasped and cringed. 'Jack?'

'No. No. Not yet.' His voice was breaking. He obviously had no idea where he was. 'I've got fifteen minutes,' he said desperately. 'I get fifteen minutes every day.'

Gwen had no idea what he was on about. 'Jack,' she called, trying to bring him back from wherever he was. 'Jack!'

'No. Please.' He was begging, his body trembling. Gwen had not doubt that he was completely off his head.

'It's all right sweetheart. It's all right.' Standing up she moved closer, placing one hand, then the other on his shoulders not sure if he would try to hurt her but his body was completely rigid. He didn't move at all. She moved closer still, ignoring the strong smell of urine, and pulled him against her body, his head settling just under her breast. He made a strangled noise, but otherwise didn't respond. Gwen opened her com unit. 'Owen, are you there?'

'Yes Gwen,' she heard in her ear. 'What's up?'

'I've got a bit of a problem here.' She ran her fingers through Jack's hair as she told Owen what was happening. This finally seemed to relax her patient and she could feel him melting against her.

'Hang on a minute,' she told Owen. 'Jack, Jack sweetheart, are you back with me? Do you know where you are?' The only response was a sob.

'What's happening?' Owen asked desperately. 'Do you need me to come?'

Jack's arms slowly came around her and held on. She could tell he was terribly weak. 'I think we're all right,' she told Owen. She crouched down again, keeping her arms around Jack. 'Hi sweetheart.' She placed a kiss on his forehead. He looked at her with wonder. 'Gwen?' His eyes were dark pits in his white face. What had happened to him?

'Yes darling. It's me.'

'Oh.' He took a deep breath and Gwen was expecting more sobs but he managed to hold himself together. He looked around the bathroom in wonder and the corner of his mouth quirked as he tried to smile at her. He swallowed and took another deep breath. It was like he wanted to say something but the words wouldn't come.

'It's all right,' Gwen soothed him. 'You're safe. It's all right.' She had to get him back to bed. 'Have you finished? I'll put a towel in the bed. You need to lie down and I can clean you up there.'

'Bed?' Jack said like he didn't believe there was one.

'Yes darling.' Gwen looked at him puzzled. 'Are you ready? Come on. Let's get you back to bed. Can you get up?'

It was a struggle but they got back to the bed. Walking obviously hurt Jack. A lot. Once on the bed he lay there barely aware as Gwen washed him. Exhaustion overruled the pain. He was asleep again long before she'd got rid of the towels and covered him up again.

She sat beside him stroking his hair. 'Owen, you there?'

'What's happening?'

'He's back in bed and asleep again. Does he need the drip back in?'

'Probably not. It will be fine for now. I'll reassess when I come in this afternoon.' Owen paused. 'Are you all right?'

'That was awful,' she said vehemently. 'I've never seen Jack like this.'

'No,' Owen breathed. 'Me neither. I just hope he comes through this all right.'

'He will,' Gwen said. 'He always gets better.'

'I wasn't talking about his body,' Owen said breaking the link.

twtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtw

Jack woke up and slowly became aware of his body. His first realisation was how dry his mouth was. His tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth, his lips rough and dry. He fought to get some moisture around his mouth as he started to process where he was. He was hurt and he was in bed in an unfamiliar room in a large double bed. It looked like a hotel room, quite a flash hotel room. The Hilton of course, they'd come to the Hilton. They must still be here. How long had he been here? There was a pile of medical equipment poking out of a cardboard box on the table against the wall on the other side of the room. He could see IV bags and packets of tubing. He didn't have an IV now although there was a sticking plaster on the back of his wrist where he assumed it had been. Gingerly flexing his body Jack realised the pain came from his back. Oh yeah, his back hurt a lot, but not he thought, carefully testing his memory, as much as it had. Very cautiously he rolled over to end up cast, stuck on his back. 'Ow. Ow!' With a wrench of his arms he flipped to his other side and lay there gasping. 'Ahhh!'

As the pain settled another sensation was making itself known. He needed to pee. Cautiously he edged his way to the side of the bed. Moving really hurt. Where was everyone? Surely someone must be here with him. He was sure they wouldn't leave him alone. Would they?

He suddenly realised he had no idea what they would do. They were very angry with him, he remembered that. They can't have been very impressed with John and his murderous antics and they were likely to blame him for that too. They were quite likely to have seen to it that he was safe and then left him to the mercies of the hotel staff. Places like this always had doctors and nurses on call for guests. He swallowed. He couldn't say he blamed them. They were short staffed without him, having one of them stay with him when they didn't need to didn't really make sense.

For a moment he felt nearly as bad as he had when the Tardis had left after returning him to Cardiff. He wasn't going to give in to it. He couldn't, he'd made his bed, now he had to learn to live with the consequences. Fighting back tears he got himself to the edge of the bed and eased his legs over the edge. His body was stiff as a board, his torso and back rigid. He had to lever himself up with his arms. When he did get to a sitting position it was all he could do to stay there. He felt dizzy and sick, not sure if it was due to the pain, exertion or loneliness.

He realised there was someone in the bathroom. He could hear water running, tooth brushing. A moment later Ianto, dressed in only his pyjama bottoms appeared in the doorway and somewhat disconcertingly he realised he'd been expecting Gwen. He blinked, smiled. They hadn't left him alone. He was overwhelmed, grinning like an idiot and Ianto was so much better than Gwen.

Ianto smiled back, a wide happy smile of delight at seeing him. 'Jack.' He hurried over, wrapped him in his arms. 'What are you doing trying to get up? How are you feeling? Are you all right?' Jack melted into the hug; inundated by the feelings of warmth and love Ianto's embrace was giving him.

'Shhh,' Ianto crooned as he stroked and held him. Only then did Jack realise he was sobbing. 'Why were you getting up? Do you need something?'

'Mmm,' Jack murmured, reluctant to do anything that would mean Ianto would let go. But he really did need to pee and he really really needed a drink. 'Water,' he finally croaked.

'Okay,' Ianto disentangled himself. 'Just a minute.' He moved away to the minibar coming back a minute later with a bottle of Perrier. Jack felt cold while he was away. Shivering slightly he drank the water quickly, the cool clean feeling refreshing his whole body. 'Just take it slowly,' Ianto said, alarmed. 'You haven't had anything for days.'

'Need it,' Jack said stubbornly. He gave the bottle back and edged closer to the edge of the bed. The dizziness had settled too. 'I need to pee.' Somewhat reluctantly Ianto helped him to his feet and into the bathroom. Jack had a sudden horrible memory of being here with Gwen. He groaned. He'd wet himself in front of Gwen. Oh God, that was just marvellous.

'Sit down Jack.' Ianto didn't have to force the issue, he was far too wobbly to stay on his feet and far too programmed to take the chance of sitting down every chance he got. Ianto took one of the neatly folded robes from the rack above the basin and helped Jack into it. There was a large mirror on the wall above the basin and Jack could see that his face had only slightly more colour than the thick cream towelling. Ianto kept a close eye on him. 'Jack, what happened this morning with Gwen?'

Jack was incredulous. 'Was that only this morning? It feels like I've slept for a week since then?' He grimaced not really wanting to be reminded of the embarrassing incident.

'Yep. This morning? Do you remember what you said to her?'

Jack was having trouble remembering anything beyond the disgusting flood of piss.

'Something about you get fifteen minutes a day?' Ianto prompted. 'What did you mean?'

Jack was startled. 'I don't remember saying that.'

'No? You were apparently completely off your head, to use Gwen's words. What did you mean though?'

As his eyes filled with tears again Ianto put a hand on his shoulder and stroked his face with the other. Jack leaned into the touch. He finally spoke, but he could hardly get the words out. It hurt so much to think about. His hands were screwing up the fabric of the robe where it sat over his legs. 'I was allowed fifteen minutes a day to sit on the toilet.' Ianto put his hand over his stilling the movement. Jack gave a strangled giggle. 'It was often a high point of my day. It was the only time I ever got to sit down.'

'Jack where were you? Who hurt you?'

Jack shut his eyes tight. He bit his lip, his head shaking from side to side. 'Can't…'

'It's all right. It's all right.' Ianto knelt beside him and wrapped his arms around him.

Jack buried his face in his neck, breathing hard. 'I will tell you when I can, but now… If I do now I'll fall apart.'

Ianto stroked his hair and rubbed his back groaning a little as he got cramped. 'Come on Jack. I can think of much more comfortable places to have a cuddle. Up you get.'

Helping him up again Jack washed his hands and used one of the supplied toothbrushes. 'Oh,' he nearly moaned with pleasure running his tongue around his teeth. 'That feels so much better.' He threw water over his face, erasing the tear stains but it did nothing to change the dark circles and the pallor of his face. He shuddered. 'We need to cover the mirrors.' He had another drink of water. He was feeling very weak, gripping the edge of the basin to hold himself up. Ianto urged him away and back to bed. Jack could tell he was worried he was going to fall down.

Jack didn't want to go to bed. Brushing his teeth had made him feel so much better, he knew he needed to the same for the rest of him. 'I want a shower,' he said, 'and then I want something to eat.'

Ianto looked at him incredulously. 'You can't even stand up. Why don't you save it for morning?'

He had a point but the thought of piss pouring down his legs earlier, not to mention days without a real wash was making him feel nasty. He would sleep so much better after a shower. Instead of heading for the bed he veered away to the couch and carefully sat. 'Yan I feel so dirty, I have to shower.'

'Jack,' Ianto said shortly. Ianto had just about had enough. It was the end of a long day and he'd been getting ready to go to bed. He hadn't expected Jack to wake up at that time of night and although he was delighted Jack was awake and so much better but he didn't want this activity now. 'You can't.'

'Yan please.' The distress on Jack's face shot straight to Ianto's heart. 'I pissed myself before. I feel so dirty.'

'Jack, you've been unconscious for days. We've washed you every day. Owen insisted.' It might be true but it probably wasn't diplomatic to mention it. 'More than once a day sometimes. There's been more than just piss involved. We cleaned you up just fine.'

Jack shuddered. He processed that thought with a mixture of horror and disgust. Then he flushed red with embarrassment. 'I definitely want a shower.'

With a sigh Ianto stood up. So he wasn't going to be getting to bed any time soon. 'I've got a better idea. 'The master bedroom has a hot tub. How about a soak in that?' Jack's smile spoke volumes. 'Yes please Ianto.'

Ianto snagged another robe from where it was lying over the back of a chair and put it on. 'Okay, I'll go get it running. Do you want to come with me or shall I come back and get you when it's ready?'

Jack levered himself off the couch. 'I'm coming with you.'

The master bedroom was huge. The hot tub was in the middle of the wall of windows that looked out over the city. It was a breathtaking view and just a perfect spot for Jack. Ianto watched the look of wonder on his face as he saw it. He'd known Jack would just love this room. 'We argued over who was going to get this room you know. Gwen said since you weren't here when we checked in, that it was first come first served and she'd been our leader for the time you were away that it should be hers.' He grinned as he set the water running. 'I don't know how long this will take to fill. Tosh and I disagreed. This room was obviously yours.'

Jack smiled and settled himself onto the comfortable sofa. 'It does make the other room look a little ordinary. I er… like the view. Next best thing to being on the roof.'

'Can't fall off this one.' Ianto said without thinking. 'Oh shit.' He risked a glance at Jack who'd stiffened but didn't say anything. Ianto saw him swallowing hard.

Jack took a breath. 'I'm going to call room service. Have they got a menu? Do you want anything?'

'I've all ready eaten,' Ianto said. 'Hours ago. But you go ahead. They do a really nice omelette.'

'I'm not going to eat pap,' Jack declared. 'I want a steak. A big one.'

Ianto picked up the room service menu and sat beside him. 'Are you sure that's a good idea. You haven't eaten for nearly a week.'

'I want steak,' Jack said stubbornly.

Ianto supposed it wasn't really surprising if his body was craving red meat to replenish its iron supplies. 'Okay,' he sighed. 'I'll get some chips to keep you company.' He flicked through the menu and thought about it. Actually he hadn't really eaten properly all day. 'Oh and the sole sounds good. Here I'll ring.' He placed the order. 'They apologise but they are short in the kitchen now, it will be at least half an hour.' He grinned. 'Guess that means time for your bath.'

'Our bath,' Jack said definitively toddling over to the tub.

'Hang on,' Ianto stopped him. 'Let's take the dressings off your back, see if anything needs attention first.'

Jack hadn't actually realised he had dressings taped to him. He was so uncomfortable that all sensation on his back just merged into "sore".

'Come on,' Ianto led him to the bed. 'Just lie down a minute and I'll check them out.' Jack lay down carefully. Ianto shifted the robe and started peeling off tape. 'I think you're actually starting to heal at more like your normal rate.' He carefully lifted and removed dressings. Jack winced as some caught and pulled. 'This is all nearly better now. Mind you,' he muttered, 'I suppose it has been nearly a week and this stuff was all fairly superficial.' Jack could feel him running his hand gently across his lower back. 'I don't think we even need to put anything back over this when you get out. Stay there a minute. Owen gave me some stuff for putting in a bath if you decided to have one. I'll just go get it.'

twtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtw

Jack dozed. He woke up to the wonderful savoury smell of good food. Surprised he blinked and started to sit up. There was a rug covering him. 'Hi there,' Ianto said cheerfully. 'Your dinner's here. It's probably still hot.' Ianto was sitting on the sofa, feet on the coffee table, polishing off the remains of a fish. He was grinning at him. 'You nodded off,' he said gently. 'You looked so cute.'

'So you left me,' Jack finished crossly.

'Yep.' Ianto looked at him fondly. 'Can you get up or would you like your dinner there?'

'I'll get up thanks.' God it smelt good. He was salivating. Carefully and much less gracefully than he would have wanted he crawled off the bed. He sat gingerly on the edge of the sofa next to Ianto. There was a second tray with a cover on. He lifted the lid and gazed appreciatively at the large steak, baked potato and salad. He threw himself at the food like a starving man, aware of Ianto watching him in amusement. It was wonderful, if slightly cooler than optimal. Jack wasn't worried about that in the slightest. There was creamy butter for the potato and a rich red wine sauce for the steak. The meat was tender and perfectly cooked with a hint of pinkness remaining. He wolfed it down.

'You don't think you should go easy?' Ianto asked.

'Nope,' he muttered through a mouthful. 'Hungry.'

'Jesus Jack, you look like you could eat me as well.'

Jack smirked. 'Always ready to eat you. I don't suppose you'd let me have some wine to go with this?'

Ianto chuckled and shook his head, settling back into the sofa and putting his hands behind his head. 'You know Jack, good food, marvellous setting,' he motioned towards the picture windows and the view. 'Just the two of us. Wonderful.' He grinned. 'This isn't our date though. I don't want you to think you can get away with calling this a date. Just so you know. I'm still holding you to a real date.'

'Aww,' Jack muttered. 'What's wrong with this?' but he winced as he turned a little sharply. 'We've still got the hot tub to come.'

'Not a date,' Ianto told him. 'I like my dates to include the possibility of sex, even if I might decide not to go that way.'

'Are you saying you don't think I'm up for sex tonight?'

Ianto snorted. 'Jack, I reckon even you can't manage sex in the state you're in. You can't stand up let alone get it up.'

'Oh yeah.' Jack polished the last of the juices off his plate with his finger and looked as if he wanted to pick it up and lick it. He'd even eaten the garnish on the salad. 'That sounds like a challenge to me.'

Ianto just grinned. 'Good to have you back Jack.'

Jack leant forward, elbows on knees. He couldn't lean back into the seat to rest. 'Thank you.'

'So, you finally ready for that soak in the tub?'

'Yeah.'

Ianto helped him up and took off his robe. He took off his own and draped it, along with his pyjama pants over the back of the sofa. The reflection of the two of them, hand in hand, proud and naked stared back at them as they walked to the tub. Jack had to admit that in spite of the situation, he wasn't getting it up. Ianto however was. Well no worries, he might not be up to much himself but a hot tub and an aroused Ianto could always be dealt to in ways that wouldn't hurt him at all. Smiling he let Ianto help him over the lip of the tub and step down into the warm water. He was starting to feel very sore.

Jack sank down into the water enjoying the warmth on his sore places. The water stung a little on the few raw spots left on his back but it passed quickly. The warmth was wonderful. He closed his eyes and leant back, his head on the edge of the tub, his back supported by the water. 'Ohhh.' He grinned. 'This is bliss.'

'Mmm,' he heard Ianto beside him, felt hands on his body and Ianto moved him, sliding in behind him so that Jack was resting back against his chest, his bottom between Ianto's thighs.

The tub wasn't really a full sized hot tub, it was more like an enormous bath. There was room for the two of them with their legs pulled in slightly. It had a flat bottom and was longer than it was wide. Jack wondered how the hell he was going to manage to climb out of it. In the mean time he relaxed back. So good. It would be perfect if his back wasn't aching quite so much. His leg twitched and he jumped. He just wasn't quite comfortable. His stomach gave an uncomfortable gurgle. He'd eaten too much.

Ianto had brought soap and shampoo and quietly started to wash him down, his hands moving gently over his body. He kept his eyes closed trusting Ianto implicitly. The water was very warm. He must have zoned out a little. 'Jack,' Ianto was calling him. 'Hey, you there?'

'Mmmm.' Jack's stomach rolled uncomfortably then settled into a solid lump.

'Tip your head back. Let me wash your hair.'

Jack did as he was told and let Ianto tip water over his head. He gasped at the way the world lurched and grabbed at the side of the tub to steady himself. He carefully leant back again as Ianto massaged shampoo through his hair, digging his fingers into his scalp. 'Ohhh,' he shivered.

'Good?' He could hear the smile in Ianto's voice.

'Oh yeah. You are very talented.'

Ianto leant around and kissed him and they both recoiled from the taste of shampoo on their lips. Ianto laughed. Jack however was frantically tamping down on a wave of nausea that surged through his body. He moaned.

'Jack?' Ianto asked cautiously peering at his face. He was chalky white again but with an unpleasant red flush across his cheeks. Damn. 'Come on, let's finish up, get the shampoo off.' Ianto had expected that if anything Jack would have fallen asleep in the tub but he'd seemed uncomfortable since getting in. He was obviously in pain, and suddenly Ianto could have kicked himself. He hadn't given him anything for pain the whole time he'd been up. He wouldn't have had anything since the routine dose Gwen had given him at five. Ianto arrived at ten and it was after twelve now. He should have had another dose hours ago.

Jack bit back another groan as Ianto tilted his head back and poured water over his head. It made him dizzy. It hurt. His muscles were too weak to hold himself on that angle. It really hurt. He swallowed hard. Suddenly he was feeling terribly unwell.

The water was too hot. He couldn't escape it. Heat enveloped him, his face glowed with it. He heaved up, trying to get out and hurt himself. He couldn't get his legs underneath him. He cried out as pain shot through him. His stomach tied itself in a complete knot. Knives stabbed into his guts.

With a great splash Ianto reared up in alarm. 'Don't you throw up in the bath!' He grabbed him under the armpits and put all his strength into getting Jack out. They flopped sideways over the edge onto the tiles and Jack's tortured stomach let go. It was a close call but he hadn't thrown up in the bath.

He should never have eaten the steak.

Jack was dreadfully sick. Lying helpless on the tiles vomit shot across the floor, came out his nose. A pulse started in his temples threatening to explode his head. His belly muscles and back screamed in pain. When it finally finished he was reduced to a twitching juddering wreck. He lay on the floor gasping and crying, his face and body pressed into the cool tiles completely uncaring about the pool of vomit that surrounded him.

He held onto the floor, trying desperately to stop the world from spinning. Ianto was there fussing with towels and wash clothes but he couldn't really hear what he was saying. In the end Ianto stopped fussing and just sat beside him. A folded towel pillowed his head and Ianto seemed content to leave him be until he wanted to move.

Jack didn't want to move. He didn't care that he was lying on marble floor tiles. He was lying down, that was luxury enough. He hurt and he'd hurt even more if he tried to move, so why would he want to do that? Ianto however, after a certain amount of time obviously thought he needed to move. He grabbed him under the arms again and levered him upright.

'Leave me alone.' Jack wriggled and slipped out of his grasp, falling to the floor again. 'Aargghh! Fuck!' Oh God that really wasn't clever.

He was starting to chill down now and this new bit of floor was cold. He huddled completely miserable, shivering slightly, barely aware that Ianto had left the room and come back in again. He did however register an injection being stabbed in his butt. 'Jack!' Ianto was calling him urgently. Blearily he tried to look at him. He seemed to have tears in his eyes too, but Jack couldn't really tell through the tears in his own. Why was Ianto crying?

'Come on Jack,' Ianto was exhorting him. 'Get up. You can't sleep here. Come on!' But he didn't try lifting him up again. 'I'm sorry Jack.' He really was crying. What? Why? 'I should have given you something for pain. You've been up for hours now and I didn't give you anything. I'm sorry, you never said and I didn't think. And now I've ruined your bath.'

What? 'Yan?' He reached for his hand concerned.

'Sorry.' Ianto sniffed. 'Sorry. Not helping is it. I'm okay. I'm just really tired. You've been lying here for hours. My bum's numb from sitting here.' He scrubbed his eyes on the sleeve of the bathrobe. 'Long day. If you want to help you can get your arse up off that floor so we can go to bed. That injection should have kicked in ages ago. Can you move?'

Jack cautiously tried. 'Yeah, I think so.'

'Okay. Let's get you up then.'

Slowly and cautiously they managed to get Jack to his knees. He crawled across the tiles, across the vast expanse of deep carpet and then used the last of his strength to haul himself up and onto the large bed. Ianto had already turned down the sheets. As Jack settled onto the pillow with a sigh Ianto pulled the covers up to his chin and bent down to kiss him on the cheek. He lingered a moment, face to face before stepping back. 'Go to sleep Jack. I'll tidy up here. I'll join you in a minute.'

Jack's mouth quirked up in a small smile of acknowledgement then he was gone.

twtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtw

When Jack woke again daylight was streaming through the large windows lighting the huge room far more brightly than he found comfortable. He wasn't used to so much open space and he might have felt uncomfortable with it except that he was lying pillowed on Ianto's chest, the circle of his arms enclosing him tightly. Tears pricked his eyes at the tangle of emotions washing over him. He placed his hand over Ianto's heart. He shut his eyes again and lay revelling in the feeling of his chest rising and falling, the sound of his heart beating steadily under his ear.

'Mmm? Cariad,' Ianto murmured softly. 'Are you awake?'

Jack nodded, moaned quietly, scared to speak.

Ianto's hand moved to stroke his back, moved up and caressed his hair. 'Just rest love. It's all right. Go back to sleep. I can stay with you all day.'

Convulsively Jack pulled himself into a ball, tried to bury himself in Ianto's embrace as in spite of himself the tears started to flow again.

Ianto gathered him in and held him tight. He rocked gently and crooned. After a time he pulled back slightly. 'Are you all right Jack? Is there anything you need?' He waited and when he didn't get an answer he made some suggestions. 'Are you in pain?'

Jack managed to shake his head.

'Do you need some water?'

'No,' Jack rasped, although really he did. But he needed Ianto to keep holding him much more.

'Okay.'

'I do need something,' Jack said a long time later.

'What's that sweetheart?'

'I need to go home.'

'Back to the Hub?' Jack could hear the smile in his voice. 'We can do that.' He turned and eased Jack's head off his shoulder and back onto a pillow. 'Sorry love, but you're starting to get really heavy.' He leant over and gave him a gentle kiss. 'You rest some more. I want to go and have a shower. Then we'll see about getting you home.'

twtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtw

Jack woke again. This time he was alone in the big bed, but when he opened his eyes Ianto was sitting on the couch just across from him. He had his laptop on his knees and was typing, engrossed in whatever he was doing. He was dressed casually in jeans and tee shirt. The tee was close fitting and emphasised the musculature of his chest and arms. He looked great.

Jack must have made a movement or a noise because Ianto looked up and smiled. It was a genuine happy-to-see-you smile and it made Jack's heart melt and brought tears, once again, to his eyes. 'Hi,' Ianto said. 'Are you going to stay awake this time?'

Jack just looked at him blinking slowly. He took some deep breaths, cataloguing his hurts. At the moment he didn't feel too bad. He smiled. Ianto put down the computer and came and sat on the bed beside him. 'How you doing?' he asked tenderly, stroking his hair.

Smiling Jack took his time answering. 'I think I'm all right.' His eyes still seemed to want to slide shut and sleep some more. 'All I seem to be able to do is sleep.' He thought. 'And throw up. And cry.'

Ianto smiled. 'Sounds sort of familiar.'

Jack looked at him puzzled.

Ianto looked slightly put out. 'Don't you remember looking after me after Brecon Beacons?'

Oh. Of course he did. Now. He nodded and felt his eyes fill with tears. Again. Ianto had been so ill. Jack had spent days caring for him, hours just holding him. It seemed like so long ago. Of course for Ianto it wasn't nearly that long.

Ianto stretched out beside him on the bed and pulled him into his arms. 'Jack,' he said, seeming to know what he was thinking. 'How long have you been away? Really?'

Goddamn he was not going to cry again. Damn Ianto for his cleverness. He buried his face in Ianto's chest, wiping his eyes against the soft cotton of his tee shirt. 'More than a year,' he sniffed.

'I thought it must have been a long time,' Ianto kissed the top of his head. 'Are you going to tell me what happened?'

Frantically Jack shook his head. 'Noooo.' Fuck it, he was crying again. 'I'll try.' It seemed like his mind and body were determined to betray him. 'Not now.' He was sobbing again and he couldn't have explained why. He was home again, safe, and crying. Ianto held him tight, non judgmental, not quizzing him or demanding anything. He let him cry and he let him heal. Jack remembered holding Ianto in a similar situation and that was comforting too.

After half an hour or so Jack had calmed again and surprisingly was awake and alert.

'Are you ready to try getting up again?' Ianto asked.

Jack nodded and with another injection and loads of help showered, dressed and ate a light breakfast. Ianto made the menu choices. Jack had a very small amount of muesli with yoghurt and stewed peaches. He washed it down with a cup of tea.

When breakfast stayed where it was supposed to Ianto rang Gwen and arranged for her to bring the SUV around to pick them up. Ianto packed up all the remaining gear in the suite while Jack lay on the couch and idly channel surfed on the TV. He was quite pleased that Ianto was occupied and not noticing how nauseous he was feeling. Ianto did not need to know. He was going back to the Hub. He was going home and that was all there was to it.

The outside world seemed terribly bright. Sitting in a car seat was really uncomfortable, more than that it was quite painful. For one of the first time's in his life Jack felt carsick. He was incredibly pleased it wasn't a long ride.

As Gwen drove into the parking garage his spirits soared and he felt a lot better. Carefully he got out of the car and Ianto and Gwen both came to help him. He stood for a moment, an arm around each of their shoulders, the two people he loved most in the world at this moment. Try as he might he couldn't stop more tears from filling his eyes. If they noticed, they didn't say anything. They walked together down the corridor emerging into the hub by the sofa. Myfwany seemed to be expecting him, she gave a screeching pass that stirred the air around them before settling on the railing by the new conservatory and staring at him clacking her beak. Owen's head popped up from the sofa where he'd been reading a comic. Tosh looked up from her computer. Both of them smiled at him. He shook off his helpers and on his own walked slowly to his office. Swallowing hard he took everything in. His things were back.

He turned and the others were all standing a few steps behind him. All of them looked as though they were preparing to grab him, catch him if he needed help. He felt touched and dismayed all at once. He had to admit though, he was still very shaky.

Very slowly, stopping to touch some remembered item, or to run his hand along the smooth surface of the desk he made his way to his chair and sat down. His team crowded into the room. He smiled at them. 'Don't any of you have work to do?'

'Yes boss.'

'Right on it.'

The girls left seemingly happy to pretend it was business as usual. Ianto and Owen however were remained. 'Ianto?' Jack asked.

'Coffee?' Ianto suggested.

Jack grinned, ridiculously happy. He made a prayer sign with his hands. 'Please?'

Ianto smiled back at him. 'Of course sir.'

'Owen. Did you want something?'

Owen gave him a sour yet assessing look. 'I'll give you a full examination later and make a decision on your operational status. In the meantime, see if you can refrain from doing anything to hurt yourself.'

Jack looked at the medic, cursing the wetness that was welling in his eyes, again. 'I'll try.'

'Yes, well, you've had the last injection you're going to get for pain. I need to get you off the opiates, they're not good longterm even for you so things might seem a bit harder than you think. I want you to consider having another lie down once you've had your coffee. You've been through a lot and you are far from well yet. If you don't look after yourself properly I will sedate you to force you to rest.'

Jack raised his eyebrows. 'I'd like to see you try.'

'I'm a doctor Jack,' Owen said calmly. 'I know lots of tricks you know nothing about.'

Jack could see that not only did Owen mean it, but underlying his words he cared deeply about him. 'Thank you,' he told Owen. When Owen looked surprised he elaborated. 'For looking after me. I know it's rare, but I appreciate it.' Owen looked like he was going to die of shock. Ianto came in with the coffees then saving Owen from answering.

Ianto passed Jack his and watched with a smile as he inhaled the vapour before taking a sip at the scalding liquid. 'Ohhh,' he moaned. He gave Ianto a beautific smile. 'Now I know I'm really home. Dreams are never this vivid.' Ianto smiled back at him.

'Oi,' Owen groused. 'Where's mine?'

'On your desk.'

'Right. Thanks I guess.' He looked at Ianto. 'Hey Jonesy. How much sleep have you had recently? Head down that hatch and get some rest before you fall down. Drag Captain Fantastic there with you and don't come up until you've both had at least two hours more sleep.'

Ianto and Jack exchanged eyebrow raised glances that melted into warm lascivious smiles. 'Good advice Doctor Harper,' Jack told him.

Owen groaned but left the room with a smirk. Ianto sat on the edge of Jack's desk watching him drink his coffee. The moment he'd finished he took his hand. 'Come on. Doctor's orders.' He helped Jack up and led him to the hatch, swinging the lid open. Ianto was grinning like an idiot. 'I'd started to wonder if you'd ever be back to use this place again,' he told Jack.

There was nothing Jack could say because he wasn't going to apologise. Ianto had to help him down the ladder. He was terribly stiff.

At the bottom of the ladder he stood a moment but everything was the same as he remembered, although tidier. 'I took photos,' Ianto told him, 'when I stored stuff. So if you came back I could put it all back the way it was.'

Ianto really had believed he'd gone for good. The lump in Jack's throat swamped him again. Hands over his face he sank onto the bed, sobs welling up from deep inside. This time though he wasn't crying for himself, the thought of Ianto, sweet loyal and already so damaged Ianto believing himself abandoned and alone was too much for him.

When Ianto wrapped his arms around him Jack struggled away and instead kissed him, the salt of his tears mingling with the unique taste of Ianto's kiss. Gently Ianto lowered them onto the bed still locked in the kiss.

What felt like hours later, tearstained but sated from gentle loving sex they lay quietly side by side staring at the tiles on the vaulted ceiling. 'Can you forgive me?' Jack asked struggling to keep his eyes open.

'I don't know,' Ianto said honestly. He ran a finger around his lips, enjoying the slightly bruised sensation. 'I don't know if I can forgive you for leaving me… us… like that. I just don't.' He rose up on an elbow and looked down at his lover. 'I can however feel very pleased that you're back.'

Jack offered him a shy smile. 'Good. I wasn't sure… I just… I don't know.'

'It's all right Jack. You don't have to say anything.' Ianto kissed him gently. He lay back down and took Jack in his arms again. 'Welcome home.'

Jack settled in against him, finding his place, fitting in against his body in a way that came automatically. Yes he thought as his eyes slid shut. This is it. At last now, I really am home.