A/N: Happy birthday, Sophie! I wrote this having chugged a considerable amount of strong Canadian coffee, and I haven't really gone over it because I'm afraid of what I will find. I hope that you will take this birthday tribute in place of an actual talented gift and do not think that I am too much of a weirdo to ever associate with you again.

Be the Rin to my Nitori?

…

Nitori half-heartedly pushed open the door to the small dorm room he shared with his smoking hot swimming teammate/boyfriend, Rin. The redhead was nowhere to be seen, which was both a relief and disappointment to Nitori. He'd been so anxious around Rin, and it was starting to affect their friendship. The reason was that… he was starting to rethink his interest in swimming. The water just didn't excite him as much as it used to, and in the pool he found himself dreaming up other potential careers, or even clubs to join. Something elegant, like a figure skater? Something cool, like a police officer? Nitori didn't think that he himself was destined for badassery, but Rin… mm, the thought of Rin's bulging pecs in a tight police uniform was enough to make Nitori blush like a tomato. He slammed the door behind him with the force of his buddy Nagisa's hugs, and fell facedown onto Rin's bunk, too tired to even climb up to his bed. Man, he was so drained lately! Almost instantly, he was asleep, into the strangest dream he had ever had.

With a strange sploshing noise like a chubby seal bellyfloppping into the sea, Nitori hit the water of Samezuka pool, and immediately started sinking. Panicked, he tried to move his limbs, to skull the water to make it above the surface, but he was dragged downwards and his limbs were weighed down. He slowly realised, as he tried not to gulp huge gasps of air, that he was wearing about 20 layers of clothing, including three cashmere scarves, some stylish reindeer leggings, a ski hat with a pompom, and a jumpsuit with a padded bottom to prevent him from BREAKING HIS TAILBONE like some people did. That was a weird thought, he realised. WTF was happening? Through the layers, he felt chill seep into his bones, an icy cold like the Canadian arctic. This wasn't a swimming pool, he realised. This was an ice rink! He was lying in a compromising position on the ice, and sharp blades were whizzing around his head.

GYAHHHH he cried, bolting upright and falling over with all the layers on. A strange song in English was playing on the speakers, he could only recognise the words "born to make history". A shadow loomed over him, he slowly peered upward to a hand extended down at him, and a smiling, shark-toothed grin.

"Are you coming, Nitori?" asked Rin, with snowflakes in his crimson hair, and his teeth made of icicles. Hecking SHARP icicles, he thought with a yelp. Better not touch those. Was teeth-touching a thing that couples did, or was this dream getting kinda kinky? Man, he thought, Rin was always so COOL. Or did he mean hot? He grabbed the firm outstretched hand and was pulled up like an erupting volcano, flying into the air and catapulted ten metres into the air, did a perfect pirouette and landed perfectly on the ice on his blade like a cat that is NOT called Vinnie. Groovin' to the music, he spun and spun like a professional with Rin, getting caught up in the atmospheric vibes that was pulling the two of them together. As he spun, the many layers he was wearing whirled forcefully off him like a veil dancer, or a tumble dryer that someone had left the lid of open and was going to seriously regret their decision. Unless they liked the hurricane look. Nitori liked Rin's windswept hair, as his lithe body moved ethereally across the shimmering ice. Rin slowed to shoot Nitori with a piercing stare.

"YOU" he smirked smexily, "are under arrest… for stealing my heart!"

His grin mutated into a swirling vortex of murky hues, and Nitori blinked rapidly before his vision cleared to find himself staring at his crush through the lens of a futuristic… gun-like contraption? His mouth was open, and he realised it was HE who had shouted.

"I MEAN IT" he cried, "You are a dangerous criminal!" In his vision was, for some reason, a computer's voice.

"Criminal coefficient is 699. Enforcement mode: lethal eliminator. Please aim carefully and eliminate the target".

Rin was standing in a futuristic street. As he saw the gun, his eyes turned as wide as saucers, and his smirk turned into a wail.

"Please!" he was begging Nitori. "Don't shoot! I'm an innocent man, I swear it! I haven't committed any crime!" Nitori's hands were shaking so hard that Rin kept falling in and out of the gun's crosshairs, and he felt salty tears streaming down his face. His heart was in agony, wrenched apart by the impossible dilemma in front of him.

"But Rin", he sobbed, "I have my orders. You know that it is useless to defy this hellscape of a society we live in! We are doomed to be apart, and there is only one way to solve this. Death."

"I agree" agreed Rin, "but surely it doesn't have to be mine? Let us die together, committing seppuku and find our way together into the dark."

"Rin-"

"I love you, Nitori Aiichiro."

And Nitori knew that he could not pull the trigger. With a wrenching sob, he threw the gun far away from him and ran towards the criminal whose magnetic pull he could not ignore any longer.

He slammed into Rin and felt their bodies connect. They fell into each other's embrace.

"Let's run away together" he whispered. "Just you and I."

The two boys held hands, connected by the heavy strands of fate that were becoming lighter and more joyous with every passing moment. Nitori realised that the air around the two of them really was becoming lighter, until it became blinding. He squeezed his eyes shut, and when he opened them he was lying on Rin's bed with salty tear streaks on his face. Rin's concerned voice permeated his consciousness.

"Aii, are you okay? Did you have a bad dream? Speak to me!"

Nitori's mind was still hazy, his bizarre dream coming back to him.

He grabbed Rin around the neck, and pulled him down for a sweet and comforting kiss. Rin sat down on the bunk and cradled Nitori in his arms, his teeth solidly made of calcium and not icicles or a criminal past. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Rin", replied Nitori assuredly, "I am never going to question my career choice. I fucking LOVE swimming. And you".

THE END.