Kyra's A/N: Welcome to Laree and Kyra's multiple-chapter collaboration for Janther Week, The Sellsword. We had probably an inappropriate amount of fun writing this and hope you will enjoy reading it just as thoroughly.

This story is a modern AU, which will have sexual content in a later chapter. There will be several T-rated chapters in between here and there that will contain nothing more offensive than a smattering of swears - so if you don't like lemons in your cup of tea, you can skip that chapter (it will be marked appropriately) and not lose too much of the plot.

Enjoy!

"Pepper!" Jane was practically shouting into her phone, which was not in itself unusual. It was, however, very unusual for her to take this tone with her best friend, of all people.

This situation was spinning entirely out of control, though, and despite the fact that Jane relied heavily on Pepper to help her navigate these kinds of matters, in this particular instance Pepper was not being helpful at all.

At all.

Pepper, in fact, was more or less being the exact opposite of helpful. Pepper, to add insult to injury, was -

"Stop laughing at me! This is not even remotely funny! Do you hear me?! This is… this is a disaster! I need you here!"

Pepper's voice, still bubbling with mirth, floated to her out of the phone, sounding so tantalizingly, torturously close that Jane could almost believe she was half a room, instead of half a world, away.

"Jane, I feel the need to point out once again that you are the one who sent me to London. You have no one to blame but yourself, and -" Pepper broke off to stifle another giggle - "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Petal, but it is kind of… just a little bit…" and then she was just laughing again; bright, unbridled peals of it, and…

Jane hung her head in defeat, feeling perilously close to tears.

"Jane," Pepper continued once she'd reasserted some semblance of control, "I know you don't love these sorts of events. But you will be fine, I promise. It will be easy. Look - I'll help. I'll call and get you an appointment at my salon. You won't even have to do your own hair or makeup. Just show up, let them do their thing, and then you can get straight into your dress and go."

Jane groaned. "I had forgotten about the dress."

"Well the dress is a no-brainer," Pepper said confidently. "What is there to think about? You're wearing the dragon-scale gown, of course - this isn't up for debate."

"I can't go. I can't." Jane's last word was more of a whisper than a whine.

"Why not?" her friend demanded.

"He'll be there."

Jane thought she heard Pepper's breath catch. For a moment the other woman said nothing - and it took a lot to render Pepper speechless.

Pepper always had a rejoinder; that was exactly why she was so naturally good at this sort of thing. Being the face of the company at just this kind of event. Pepper could socialize and charm and network in a way that Jane, for all her business acumen, just… couldn't.

For God's sake, a ball? A BALL? What had she been thinking, sending Pepper out of country now?

"I can't go." Jane repeated. "He'll be there with her. Or worse, someone else - because he didn't care about that skag any more than he cared about me - and he's moved on three, maybe four times over."

"I don't care who he shows up with, she will not be one tenth as intelligent, successful, or beautiful as you. It was his loss, Petal, do you hear me? HIS."

"Maybe, but it doesn't change the fact that he will have someone, and I will be alone."

"Who exactly said you had to be alone? Jane, you have options. Multiple options. J-"

"Options? Options?" Jane laughed - noting, with dull horror, that the sound was just ever so slightly tinged with hysteria. "What, my dear, options are you referring to?"

"Well let's talk about the fact that most of your friends are men, Jane. I'm sure any one of them would be happy to accompany you. This event, from what I hear, is going to be over the top. The place to seen this season. I honestly wish it was me going… but no, you would send me to jolly old England, then whine about it!"

"I am not whining. I have some very valid concerns. REAL CONCERNS, Pepper." Jane huffed. "You and your options. Just who do you suggest I take?"

"Well I can see how you're going to be." Jane could practically hear Pepper rolling her eyes. "So how about I just say a name and you tell me why it won't work. Even though any one of them actually would."

"I will not."

"Okay then, what about Jethro?"

It irked her that her friend knew her so completely. Jane paused, pretending to give Pepper's suggestion serious consideration. "Well, he is pretty to look at, and that man can dance. But he hates these sorts of things and will end up bailing halfway through - and who could blame him?"

"Well… maybe," Pepper allowed reluctantly. "What the hell is the point of being such a good dancer if you're not going to put it to use? But all right, th-"

"It's a ball, Pepper. Suits? Heels? Tables without actual chairs? Little bits of food dressed up like dead butterflies on pins? Jethro likes to go clubbing."

"Okay, Jane, point taken. Those farm boys in the city. How about Jester then? He won't even notice those things. He'll only have eyes for you." Pepper tittered prettily.

"Eyes, ears, hands… Honestly, Pepper. The last thing I need is for Jester to follow me around all night and stare at me with his big, sad puppy dog eyes, too-tight pants, and man-bun. He'll probably spend the entire night sighing and trying to convince me that this is a sign we should finally be together."

"What would be so terrible about that?" Pepper's voice had taken on a distinctly teasing quality. "Those gorgeous blond locks, and the soul of a poet…"

"Man-bun, Pepper. Man. Bun. Do you remember last year's Christmas party, when he sang me The Twelve Days of Janemas? With bells clipped into his beard? They jingled when he walked."

"Janemas." Pepper snorted. "The man knows what he wants, Petal, same as you."

"Well I know I don't want to go with Jester."

"All right…" if Jane didn't know better, she'd almost think Pepper's voice had taken a turn for the snide. "Cuthbert then. He comes from money and will fit right in."

"Too young. And handsy."

"And you would know that because…?"

"I'll never tell. Not Cuthbert, Pepper. Besides, I think he is dating some heiress or another."

"Then what about Rake? He was made for this sort of thing, and you damn well know it. He'd be the life of the party; you'd hardly have to say a word. You'd hardly be able to get a word in edgewise, which I'd think would suit you fine under the circumstances."

Jane rolled it over in her mind. Rake was always a great date, cheerful, quick to produce scathing commentary as they people-watched, and unabashedly, unapologetically, fabulously gay. "There's an idea - Rake does tend to liven up a room. But how long until he lives up to that nickname of his and ditches me for some hot piece of ass?"

"I bet you'd make it at least three hours, by which time you'd probably be ready to leave anyway. Win-win, Petal."

"Yeah, but could I survive all the -" Jane gave little cough, "root jokes in the meantime?"

"And there you have it," Pepper said dryly, "exactly as I predicted. Congratulations, you've managed to shoot down four perfectly viable options. You're bound and determined to go alone and be as miserable as possible, aren't you?"

"I wouldn't say I was determined…" Jane pinched the bridge of her nose, feeling a headache coming on. "What am I going to do, Pepper? I know I need to go and mingle and network - but I can't imagine I'll be very effective if I am worried about him popping out to strike at me like snake in a cave. It hurts, Pepper. Not the loss of the relationship - no, I'm over that - but the knowledge I wasn't good enough."

"Oh, Jane." The frustration had vanished from Pepper's voice in a heartbeat. Now it was warm, empathetic, an auditory hug across all the intervening miles, and Jane felt closer to tears than ever for it. "Nothing is ever going to be enough for that man. He's going to spend his whole life chasing the next thing and the next, and in the end he'll still be empty, because he's broken, Jane, broken inside and that is no reflection on you. You do know that, right!? Petal, PLEASE tell me you know that."

Jane's breath hitched as she gave a small hiccuping sob. "I know, Pepper." Tears fell freely, and she gave a long, unladylike snort. Wasn't it just like Pepper to say the exactly right thing? Jane wiped her nose on her sleeve - no one could see her anyway. "I know," she reiterated. "He was - is - an ass.

"Oh, God." Pepper sounded on the verge of tears herself. "Oh, honey. Look, I can come back, all right? I can... just... give me a half hour to pack and I'll be on my way to Heathrow -"

"No." said Jane, still sniffling, "No. You are right. I can handle this. I CAN handle this." Jane took a deep breath, releasing the tension that had built up in her chest. "I just wish I had a date. If only to keep me upright while I tromp around in that ridiculous dress - you're not actually serious about me wearing it, are you?"

"Dead serious, Jane, this is the occasion that gown has been waiting for. You are going to be ravishing - date or no date. I wish I could be a fly on the wall to get a look at his face when he sees you, because he's going to be sick over letting you go."

"You're a good friend, Pepper. I don't know what I would do without you."

"Oh, stop. It's just that you bring out the best in people, Jane. People who have any good to be brought out, anyway. But as to the problem at hand… if a date will help you feel more confident - despite the fact that you are amazing all by yourself - then we need to get you a date. It is short notice though. I think, the situation being what it is, probably the best option is just to buy one."

"Yo- buh- What did you say?"

"I said, let's buy one. An escort. Easy peasy. Just a simple, clean-cut business arrangement; surely you can get behind that concept, right? No muss, no fuss, no strings attached - no danger of muddying the waters with anything as abhorrent to you as feelings -"

"I - I - can I do that?"

"Jane, you can buy anything for the right price. What kind of businesswoman are you?"

"One who likes to do the work, and not the help."

"I said buy you a date, not buy you a lay. There is a difference… or, well, there can be." Pepper paused for a moment, thoughtful. "It won't be cheap, and I do believe it's usually a package deal - meaning that the cost covers… any and all activities of a - uh - nocturnal nature. But he's not going to force that on you. You write the check, you call the shots. If he ends up having to do less work for the same amount of money, I doubt he'll complain… although one look at you in that dress and he'd probably be willing to go overtime."

"This is a joke, right? This entire conversation has been one long joke, and you've been messing with me this whole time. You're just offering up this absurd idea as an option so I will cave and call Jester, give into his fawning, and pop out a bunch of little man-bun babies for you to spoil rotten. Because there is no way you just offered to buy me a hooker."

"They'd be adorable, but that is neither here nor there. As for the escort technically, you'd be paying for it - or rather, the company would be. I'd have to check but I think you can write it off."

"You did not just tell me I can pick up a prostitute and get a tax write off out of it."

"You'd have to check with Milton, but so long as you don't actually do the dirty, it's a business entertainment expense - or maybe charitable contributions - This event is a benefit, right? Oh, I don't know, just remember to save your receipts."

"Save… save my… this is… surreal… Pepper, I… no. No, I just can't. I just can't go, I can't, I don't know why I ever thought I could. Shit."

She'd been pacing the length and breadth of her spacious office but now she sank into her chair, planted her elbow on the glossy expanse of her desk and dropped her head into her hand. "Shit," she said again, with feeling.

"Was that a yes? I can set it up for you, Petal. It will only take a phone call -"

"I… how will… even if, IF, I entertain this insane idea, how would I know who… who he…"

"I'll make sure he is just your type - tall, handsome, all lean muscle and an ass you can bounce a quarter off of -"

Jane uttered a small and partially strangled laugh. Her past history indicated, if anything, that her type had less to do with how the man looked and more to do with how much of a lying, cheating, untrustworthy dick he'd eventually turn out to be. The bigger the jerk, the more she invested into the relationship.

Although to be fair, this would in no way, shape or form, resemble a relationship. Which was exactly the point. Still, though -

"I don't know, Pepper…"

"Jane, you listen to me. I will do all the legwork, the only thing you have to do is show up. I'll make sure he's easy to identify, take all the guesswork out of it. We'll stipulate that he'll be holding a rose for you, all right? Plus he'll be the handsomest man in the damn room. In the damn building. So I don't want to hear another objection out of you. You will go, you will be gorgeous and so will your date, you will talk to actual people and you will not leave before dessert is served or I will murder you. Are we clear?"

"I-" Jane stammered. This was not a good idea. So far from a good idea, it could be clearly identified as a terrible one. This was not how the too-busy-to-date owner of a company found…companionship. Was it?

"Are. We. Clear?" Jane had rarely heard Pepper's voice this steely.

"I have reser-"

"PETAL."

"I am not a flower, Pepper!"

"And I am not a spice. Stop deflecting. You are a beautiful, powerful woman who is in need of a date for one night. Let me do this for you."

There was a long, pregnant pause.

"...allrightmakethecall." It came out as little more than a choked whisper, barely understandable. But Pepper knew her better than almost anyone, and Jane could practically hear her friend breaking into one of her dazzling, gap-toothed grins.

"Done."