Things Left Unsaid
Pairings: Josh/Donna
Spoilers: War Crimes - Season 3
Disclaimer: Not my characters. Not my show. Some of the dialogue is taken from the actual script.
Josh's thoughts after Donna told him she lied to the committee about her diary. Plus a few added/expanded scenes.
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She quietly closed the door to Josh's office and left. Josh sat at his desk and leaned over with his head in his hands.
Cliff was in her apartment?
What was he doing in her apartment? That guy is such a weasel, why was she with him?
She looked so scared. I should go find her and….what? What would I do when I found her? We're in the White House- but like I would do anything somewhere else. If I could just hold her for a second. Really hold her…
He rubbed his eyes and tried to shake those thoughts from his head.
We can fix this, it's not a big deal. We can fix this. This can't get out, maybe I can talk to Cliff. I grabbed the phone.
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She walked out of her apartment and met me on the steps bundled up in a coat too warm for the weather. "Donna, I didn't mean-"
"It's ok Josh.""Yea," Always leaving things unsaid, that's us. I sighed, "So Cliff's just gonna read it and then he'll let us know what he wants to do."
"Yea," She was biting her lower lip, brow furrowed.
"Donna, did you write about Cliff?"
She looked away from me, "Yea."
"Give them to me, the pages about Cliff." She flipped through the small book and ripped out a few pages. She handed them to me folded in half. "When did you write these?"
"October 4th and 5th," As I held them in my hand, staring through the pages she whispered, "Do you want to read them?"
"Nah," I answered quickly and stuffed them in my pocket. Morbid curiosity almost got the best of me but I was afraid- afraid she liked him that he made her forget about... "That could be awkward." She gave a small laugh.
"Let's go," she said as she turned to walk down the steps to my car.
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In the car, she was quiet. "Don't worry," I reached over and put my hand on hers, sitting in her lap. She was so cold, and small and scared looking. She looked over at me and gave a little smile.
"Thanks." She stared out her window at the light rain that had started to fall. "I just forgot. I didn't mean to lie, I just forgot." She sounded like she was going to start crying.
"Donna don't," I murmured. "This isn't a big deal. You told me about it and we're handling it." Her hand tightened around mine. What happened on October 4th and 5th that I didn't know Donna was out with Cliff?…why didn't she mention it to me? I knew she had dated Cliff but it didn't hit me when it happened. I wish I didn't feel like my life was slipping though my fingers as I worked on supposedly more important things.
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"There's a coffee shop across the street. You can read it there. You've got an hour. I haven't read it, but if anything bothers you, you'll issue a subpoena in the morning. You'll have it back before the end of the day. If not, that's that."
"Yea."
"If I read any of this in the newspaper or anything happens I don't like, I've got the entries for October 4th and 5th ."
"What's October 4th and 5th?"
"You," I point at him.
"That's fair. Thank you," and he turns and walks away.
I walk back to Donna trying to feel protective. When I sit, I awkwardly put my arm around her. Touching her would make me feel better, but I don't know if it would make her feel better. It starts to rain harder.
"I'm sorry," I say after a few minutes.
"For what Josh?" she said quietly.
"For-" what was I sorry for exactly? I turned so I faced her completely. "For October 4th and 5th. I didn't know you went out with Cliff."
Her face screwed up and she looked mad. "Sorry? You're sorry for what?" her voice rising an octave higher than usual.
"No! I mean I didn't know. Well, I knew, but I didn't know the specifics. I didn't realize that you had a date that night. And I should of..." I trailed off as I realized that I sounded stupid.
"Oh," her voice softened and she looked down.
"I thought we were better friends than that. I mean, we should be better friends than that," as I was explaining this I realized she already knew what I meant. I reached over and my hand found hers for the second time tonight.
"It's okay Josh."
"And I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier."
"Josh," she looked up at me with those huge eyes, "I'm sorry too."
"Yea."
"Yea."
This time I do put my arm around her, with my other hand still holding hers. We sit and wait for Cliff and I realize I could sit here all night in the rain with Donna.