To Slip Away
A loud scream had woken up the entire house at one very peaceful morning, followed by "Oh my God, oh my God, ohmyGod …". Then Michiru had covered her mouth with her hand, almost cutting off all air to breathe for her. But it didn't matter anymore - she didn't want to keep on breathing anyway.
"Haruka … Haruka!" She had touched the cold cheeks of her lover, had tried to feel a pulse for the millionth time and had shaken her. This couldn't have been true, this must have been a joke … but soon the realization had set in that it was indeed correct: Haruka had died in her sleep.
Self-hate had washed over Michiru instantly. If she hadn't been asleep so … carelessly … she probably would have noticed Haruka's heart skipping a beat. She could have reanimated her. She had let Haruka die.
Michiru had been lying on her partner's dead, cold body until they had taken her away. She had kissed those livid lips one last time, with hot tears streaming down her face.
When the doctor had told Michiru that it was a simple cardiac arrest, Michiru had yelled at him. OF COURSE it was that, death ALWAYS came with that. But then more tears had flooded her face and Michiru had known that it didn't matter what exactly killed Haruka in her sleep, a stroke or a heart attack, it didn't matter. Haruka was dead, had left her. It was over.
And then Michiru had been lying in that big, lonely bed, feeling her heart hurt like hell.
Setsuna had taken Hotaru to the beach. The girl was very upset and Setsuna couldn't bear to see another friend gone, yet again. Michiru knew that Setsuna hadn't seen it coming. It was so unfair. The mirror hadn't shown any sign either. Because it wasn't something brought by alien forces. It had been brought by human nature. Setsuna hoped that being at the beach would soothe her and Hotaru, but Michiru knew there wasn't enough wind for it – if there even was any at all.
The day before had been quiet. No busy schedule, watching television and reading books, some teasing, magnificent sex … she had been happy, both of them had been, but Michiru couldn't remember anymore. She couldn't remember Haruka's last words as they had been sweet nothings, a kiss on the nose and then the life-threading sleep. It was all Michiru's fault.
And she didn't want to go on.
There were painkillers and sleeping pills sitting in the bathroom cabinet, back from the days when they had to fight every night to save this world. Michiru wanted to kill the pain in a way … and she wanted to sleep – forever.
She locked the door behind her, just in case Setsuna and Hotaru returned earlier than expected. Her eyes caught sight of Haruka's shampoo – a white bottle placed between all the bottles in different shades of pink, purple and red that belonged to Michiru and that Haruka secretly used as well. The artist wiped away the new tears that had been drawn just by the mere sight of Haruka's shampoo and proceeded to open the cabinet door. There was no need for a further glance in the mirror, Michiru didn't care that just like that she had lost all the beautiful features in her face. Her spark had disappeared the moment she Haruka disappeared. Her nightgown was distorted, crumpled even, but she didn't notice.
Michiru stared at the small orange bottles. It would be easy to overdose. Just black out. Find Haruka on the other side. And maybe the cycle of Neptune and Uranus would begin again, but Michiru didn't give a fuck. She only cared for Haruka. The woman shivered. Then her knees went weak. Michiru needed to lie down – so she did. She was lying on the bathroom floor for hours, finding new tears to cry, watching the orange bottles from the corner of her eye.
Hunger could have crept in, but she chose to starve. There were songs and voices in her head from pleasant days. The end was near.
The mermaid couldn't get herself to stand up and finish it, because she felt so very tired. Maybe she didn't need the pills? Perhaps she could find Haruka on her own? She closed her heavy lids, listened to the lullaby, felt the headache drumming from behind her eyes through her whole body. IwantHarukabackIwantherbackIwanttobewithherhowcouldIletthishappen …
"Michiru! Wake up!"
The violinist felt a tight grip around her shoulders. She was being moved in an upright position. Someone shook her – and Michiru slowly recognized that person.
"Minako?" Michiru whispered. "Go away."
Her throat was dry and she coughed, tears burning in her eyes as she choked a bit.
"No, I won't. Wake up, Michiru. Haruka is not dead!"
That made Michiru snap back into reality: "What do you mean, not dead? Do you want to mess with my head, Minako? I felt her lifeless body beneath me. Now go!"
She could see Minako being afraid of her, of her roughest voice and the self-hatred in her eyes, but only for a second. Then Minako's face got stern again: " . . It's something Queen Nehelenia did. It happened to Rei, too."
Now Minako's big blue eyes filled with tears: "She saw it coming … she saw it in the fire … and she wrote it down … and let it happen! I had no idea it would be the last time that we went out last night … And she even hid that fucking piece of paper! She hid it! I only found it because I … I needed to smell her again and went through her closet."
Her whole body trembled.
"Rei died?" Michiru swallowed hard.
"No. Yes. No, she's not … Michiru, we need to find them. They are with Nehelenia. We can bring them back." Minako tried to gain her composure again, touching Michiru's shoulders to anchor her in the presence.
"Don't bring my hopes up, Minako", Michiru got up, shaking Minako's hands off, her focus on the pain killers, "You think you can change my mind, don't you? But I'll join Ruka …"
"It's happening with you, too", Minako jumped to her feet and tore Michiru away from the sink and the cabinet. Michiru found herself on the floor once again, but with Minako above her, her hands pinned to the ground. She tried to get the blonde off her, but she was too degraded. Heavy breathing brought back all her senses.
"We can save her … them … you say?"
Minako nodded.
"Let's do it."
"How did you even get into our locked bathroom?" Neptune asked.
Venus shrugged: "Bobby pin."
Neptune nodded. It was raining heavily. Thunder had been drawn abruptly and Neptune was sure that it had to do with the fact of sudden supernatural forces. She was standing next to Venus under a tree, observing the funeral directors - both not scared of a lightning that could kill them in this position. They listened to the roaring noise of the thunder – and the hard sounds of raindrops hitting the hearses before the building.
"Why had Rei been able to see it coming and I hadn't?" Neptune wondered.
Venus shrugged again: "She had monitored it for a while. Nehelena came with the supermoon. A lot of people had bad dreams during that time, so she gave them nice ones and took their energy … that's at least what Rei's scribbles say, I believe. Gosh, her handwriting sucks! Anyway, I think she had planned to attack Nehelenia from the core of her base. She wanted to protect Usagi. And hopefully me … us … as well. When Sets called to tell me one of my closest friends had passed, too … I knew it had to do with Nehelenia. But I don't think Rei had a vision about our enemy taking Haruka."
Michiru knew how important Haruka had been for Minako, being like a big sister for the petite blonde.
"Do you know how it happened?" Michiru tried to sound neutral, but she was incredibly scared that Haruka had been hurt by the experience.
"They were lulled in. Attracted by something they've always wanted. Rei had never the chance to live her dreams out fully, so that's how Nehelenia caught her."
"I had marvelous tones in my head", Neptune confessed.
"Because you wanted to dedicate your life to music and you couldn't. And Haruka …"
"Haruka still struggled with her role as a Senshi after all, deep down." Neptune tried to push away those thoughts, those self-flagellations, and focused on her regained strength. "Maybe that's why I didn't see it. A sudden change of the timeline. Perhaps Nehelenia didn't think at first that Haruka would be such an easy victim."
The Goddess of Love sighed: "Still, I think we should call Usagi. It's Nehelenia. We can't defeat her alone."
Neptune shook her head: "Rei wanted to protect Usagi. And so should we. We don't need her to bring this to an end. You're the general for all I know, Minako."
"You're right, Michiru", Venus tried to smile effortlessly, but it didn't work. Nevertheless she spoke up again, unusually quit: "What if it doesn't work?"
Neptune allowed herself to touch Venus' gloved hand for a split second: "Then we die trying."
They moved forward without another word. Through the curtain of heavy rain the grey old building looked even more forbidding. When they pushed the door open, they didn't enter the undertaker's. Suddenly Neptune was alone, stepping into her old classroom.
It held the same scent from her youth, perfume mixing with the contents of lunchboxes. Girls in baby blue school uniforms stopped their talking. They all stared at her with their mouths open, like she was a disgusting creature from a horror movie.
"There she is, that witch …"
"Did your visions show you some dyke again?"
"Feeling better than the rest of us, don't you?"
"We should teach this weirdo a lesson …"
Their voices rang so close to home that it actually frightened Michiru for a moment. Her brain was invaded by memories from her childhood. Each and every word tried to break down the walls that Michiru built around herself a long time ago – just as they used to do.
This time, there was no Elza to save her – the girls ran forward, lifting chairs, scissors, whatever they could find that could hurt Michiru. Their eyes had turned red, like the demon eyes which had been there each night as long as Michiru could remember.
The girls had never attacked her before – not with such dangerous devices at least. But Michiru wasn't 14 anymore. She was a Sailor Senshi! And so she got a grip, materializing her Deep Aqua Mirror from out of nowhere.
"Deep Submarine Reflection!" She yelled, right on time. The bright energy that left her mirror met the first attacking students before they could do her any harm. Their calls faded away.
Neptune was left in a fog, once again alone, until she saw a familiar head with golden locks.
"Haruka?" Michiru wanted to run towards her, touch her lost lover – but realized she couldn't move anymore. Then she beheld the other woman, standing opposite of Haruka. Michiru couldn't see her face, because … Haruka was kissing the stranger.
All air left Michiru's lungs. She could almost feel Haruka's lips on her own, her tongue in her mouth and her hands on her back, in her hair … but was with every touch painfully reminded that Haruka didn't kiss her. It made her physically ill watching Haruka exploring another woman.
In a flash of magic that faceless woman changed her form. Haruka kissed Setsuna, Makoto, Rei, Minako, Ami, Usagi … Seiya … Mamoru … Ikuko?
"Michiru, this is not real … this is not happening … Haruka would never do that to you … she is dead", Michiru tried to assure herself, keeping her façade up as good as possible.
"Oh, do you really think that?" Haruka broke the kiss just to look at her intensively, "Do you think my flirting never meant anything?"
"It meant that you didn't feel loved enough at the beginning … I gave you that love once you let me in. Once you stopped running." Michiru fought back the urge to howl out more. Haruka had known Michiru's affection for her from the very beginning, though had taken a liking to keep all her options open. The flirting had slowed down eventually, after returning to Tokyo, after learning to communicate, and it would have been a lie if Michiru said she didn't like it that way. Haruka had needed to feel loved and Michiru made her.
"I ran away from you", Haruka answered her cry with the smirk Michiru loved – only this time it felt like a knife being stabbed into her heart. "You want to save me like you always do? Let me sleep."
Before Michiru was able to produce an answer, a shout interrupted the situation out of nowhere: "Crescent Beam!"
"No, Haruka!"
Even with her partner saying all those awful words, Michiru wanted to leap forward – forgetting that she was still held in place by dark energy. The ray of light hit Haruka's torso – breaking her. Haruka's body fell to dust and Neptune was able to move again.
She was confused for a moment, but processed that it was Nehelenia's powers yet again that had put her in her worst nightmare. The fog lifted and Venus and Neptune found themselves in lobby, filled with classy arranged flower bouquets.
"Thanks, Venus", Neptune said, assessing Venus' appearance. Her skirt was ripped, her bow missed a piece.
"What happened to you?" Neptune asked while running through the foyer.
"I had to fight Sailor V", Venus answered, reaching the door to the morgue at the same time as Neptune. Venus gasped audibly at the sight they received once the door was swung open.
The room was filled with bodies. Children, women, men. Neptune hesitated for a moment. She couldn't feel Haruka's presence. But then she finally registered her - Haruka and Rei were laid out right before Nehelenia's throne. They were still wearing what they had put on for sleeping while Nehelenia's flowy dress of black and silver waved over them.
"You could have found me easier, Sailor Senshi. Falling asleep seemed so easy, right? Why didn't you choose to?" Her raspy voice echoed through the room.
"Because we want to stop you and your terrifying plan!" Venus cried out.
"My plan of putting everyone to sweet dreams? How horrible." Nehelenia smiled amused.
"Your plan of destroying this planet that we love!" Venus growled. Neptune wasn't sure if her companion really was that angry about that sort of plan or was just missing a certain black-haired woman. Neptune herself didn't have the need to save the world or find any patience for a conversation with the devil.
She just struck her pose, mustering up every possible ounce of power: "Deep Submerge!"
But the ball of green energy just couldn't hit Nehelenia, who laughed it off. It bounced back, bringing the two soldiers into serious trouble.
"Stop it, Neptune!" Venus managed to scream. The both ended up on the floor again, but Neptune didn't falter for a moment and got up again. She ran towards the throne: "Haruka! Haruka wake up!"
"She can't hear you, Senshi of the Sea. You know, she likes it where she's now. No duty … no mission", Nehelenia grinned with bright, white teeth. But Neptune's eyes were fixed to the still body of her lover.
"Haruka, please remember, why you chose to become a Senshi … because you loved me all along … We're in this together … You just can't leave me alone", Michiru exclaimed, collapsing onto the body. Maybe Nehelenia was resistant to her powers, but what, if the other Outer Soldier came back? There had to be a chance! Michiru had struggled through those nightmares, so there had to be a possibility!
"Neptune!"
In that very moment, a pair of cold hands was flung around Neptune's hip. Was that … a zombie?
A very pissed Venus yelped: "Are you kidding me?" She was being attacked as well and she didn't like it at all.
"Oh, those are only sleepwalker", Nehelenia smiled.
"I swear to God – three might be a charm, but once we've conquered you, you'll never come back, bitch", Venus hissed, using her Venus Love and Beauty Shock to throw the body of the undead policeman against the next wall, careful not to hurt the person too much, just enough to let him pass out again.
Neptune had meanwhile managed to fight her zombie, a stewardess, off. Before a nun-zombie had the opportunity to place a punch against her head, Venus caught the zombie's arms and tied her away with her Venus Love Me Chain, performing, despite her sour body, like a rhythmic gymnastics at Olympia.
"Thank you once again, Venus."
"I've never liked nuns, you know", Venus winked. Fighting with Venus at her side was different, but Neptune could find certain qualities of Haruka in her. They wrestled down a few more zombies – the rest of them simply chose to run around moaning, running into each other and not attacking the Senshi, much to Nehelenias displeasure.
"Ruka, you have to listen to me. You have a loving family now. We need you. You got everything you wished for. The world might not know how many times you've saved it, but you've got it all. You've got it all, you need to come back", Neptune continued with her pleading. Venus joined in: "Rei, it was very stupid of you, thinking you could do this without any help. You're not that strong!"
"What did you say, Aino?" The agent of love and fire opened her dark glowing eyes.
"Rei! You're back!" Venus squealed. A zombie tried to bite Venus in the ankle and she kicked him in the face.
Rei, who had stored her henshin stick in her pants, was on her feet a few seconds later, despite being dead for hours. "Mars Crystal Power Make Up!" Her order sounded powerful and a few seconds later she was dressed in her signature red fuku.
It took one perfectly placed "Akuryo Taisan!" to stop the zombies and knock them out.
"Three elements out of four … we need our air", Venus said, while Nehelenia mumbled to herself: "How could this happen?"
Rei snapped: "And what kind of element do you expect to be?"
"Earth of course. Because love is everything. Right, Ruka?"
But Haruka refused to comeback.
"Please, Haruka … remember how you said you didn't care about this burden as long as you could be with me?" Michiru whispered.
Haruka's eyelids twitched. Michiru held her breath, as Haruka's breathing restarted … and then she saw Haruka clenching her fists. Neptune quickly put Haruka's henshin stick in between her fingers. Her heart beat faster as soon as Haruka opened her beautiful eyes.
"Uranus Crystal Power Make Up!" It left her lips instantly, leaving Neptune with a joyful smile.
"I'm sorry, Michiru", Haruka said, all set up in her darkblue fuku, but Michiru had no time to react.
"You can go and get a room afterwards, we need to connect our powers", Rei starred at Nehelenia furiously.
"What, do you think you can ban me yet again? I have enough energy to live forever", Nehelenia remarked.
"You couldn't make them Senshi zombies, so I guess you're lacking some energy now", Venus commented. She shot her friends some glances full of courage and encouragement: "Are you ready?"
Four voices shouted at the same time: "Planet Star Power!"
Lights of green, red and different shades of yellow left their foreheads and formed a giant ball of energy that coated Nehelenia.
"Do you really think that this is effective, you little dream girls?"
"Neptune, do you're thing!" Venus commanded.
Once again Neptune materialized something – her beloved Marine Cathedral. With green energy still flowing from her head, Neptune laid her chin gently against her beloved instrument. She brought a fascinating melody to live without thinking twice.
She was sure of the look of admiration on Haruka's face. Rei's determination. Minako's hope. All while she played Nehelenia's lullaby that put her to sleep. At first Nehelenia tried to get away, weeping in anger, but the sound of the magical violin was stronger. The ball of energy left with a sleeping Queen of darkness, into another dimension.
Michiru was crying silently on their way home. She sobbed into Haruka's shoulder, with the blonde's strong arm around her back and hip. They had transformed back, Haruka still in her pajamas, looking like Charlie Harper, walking barefoot through the night as she insisted on it. Rei and Minako had set out to get a taxi to the nearest restaurant, because they were starving. As much as Rei wanted Minako not to hold her hand – Minako didn't let go. All the people had awoken slowly, leaving the undertaker's in a confused, but very lively state.
The rain had stopped and the cool air tried to heal their minds. Michiru was happy that Haruka had been brought back to life, but she struggled with an important decision. "I think about separating from you."
Haruka frowned: "What?"
"Because you apparently suffer. You would be better off without me." It smashed Michiru's heart talking about breaking up, but she thought it would be best to let her soul mate go.
"Didn't you listen to your own words, Michi?" Haruka rubbed her hand gently against Michiru's side. "You were right. All I needed was a family. Someone who loved me for who I am. Being a Senshi is the price I have to pay."
She placed a kiss on Michiru's head: "And besides, if you left me, who would save me from the big bad?"
"But what if you die in your sleep for real?" Michiru said in tears.
"Don't be selfish – separating from me would kill me for real and wouldn't save you any pain, as you might be under that impression. You're smarter than that, babe", Haruka muttered. "But if I do … it's your turn to stay alive."
Haruka stopped to wipe Michiru's tears away. Michiru started to laugh, happy about her lover's speech. Haruka never had been good with words, more with physical interaction – so she leaned forward to kiss Michiru intensively.
As the kiss broke, Michiru proceeded to take her Deep Aqua Mirror out, gazing into it in search for an answer of her many questions. Was it really the right thing, standing here in the middle of the night, kissing that gorgeous blonde? Michiru froze.
"What is it?" Haruka said, afraid that the right answer really would be the end of their relationship.
Michiru showed her the mirror – it presented her the image of a perfect place.
"Crystal Tokyo. It's near."
"It's pretty", Haruka remarked. "As you are."
"I still might never sleep again."
"You will after we're done", Haruka said in her sexiest voice, wiggling her eyebrows like the dork she was. Michiru pursed her lips: "Don't you take me serious?"
"I'll find a way to sing you to sleep."
"Of course."