Authors Note: This was my contest entry for the USS Caryl contest. In case you haven't read it, give it a whirl.
"What are you babblin' about?! Deer are fucking majestic!" Carol heard as she made her way up to the watchtower.
"I'm just sayin' if there was a decent sized pig running around, I wouldn't mind some bacon." Glenn argued making Daryl snort.
"Ever heard of deer bacon?" Carol shook her head as she entered the conversation.
"As much as I hate to interrupt this enthralling debate, I was told to bring this to you." Carol handed Glenn a rubber duckie that made him blush instantly.
"I-um…do you think you can handle watch alone?" Glenn asked Daryl as he rolled his eyes.
"Take your damn duck and get out of here." Daryl shook his head as Glenn took off out of the watchtower. Carol furrowed her brows and walked over to Daryl.
"It's their code." Daryl spoke up.
"Code?" Carol asked.
"The duck means Maggie is waiting for him in the showers. Last time Rick caught them bumpin' uglies in a storage closet so they've developed a code. Lord knows nobody wants to see Glenn's naked ass." Daryl grunted making Carol laugh. He looked over at her laughing and couldn't help but crack a smile himself.
"You ain't gotta stay up here with me. I can take watch alone." Daryl said as Carol's laughs died down.
"Maybe I like being in your company, ever thought of that?" Carol pitched making Daryl look out at the walkers that gathered behind the fence.
"Not really but if you want to stay I won't stop you. It gets boring up here though." Daryl warned as Carol settled in next to him wrapping her purple scarf around her neck securely. They sat in silence for a few moments before Daryl reached behind him and pulled out a shoebox that was hidden. When he popped off the lid Carol laughed seeing that it was a box full of things to keep him occupied.
"I figured you were holding out on me." Carol said as he pulled a pack of cards out.
"It aint much but unless you want to sharpen arrows or have a smoke, cards is the best I can do." Daryl offered the cards and she took them into her hands.
"I actually have a perfect game if you think you're up for it." Carol shuffled the cards and Daryl watched her hands move over the cards.
"If you say strip poker, I'm kickin' you out." Daryl warned making Carol eye him.
"You said it, not me but no that's not the game I was thinking of." Carol teased as Daryl relaxed. She started to set the cards on the floor between them and Daryl watched her closely.
"Each card means something different. Whatever you pick, you have to answer. It used to be a drinking game that my girlfriends and I used to play but because Ed didn't like me drinking, we modified it to get to know one another better." Carol explained.
"Sounds kind of stupid." Daryl said making Carol frown.
"It's not stupid. Just humor me, will you?" Carol pressed and Daryl rolled his eyes before picking up the first card.
"2 is you. Tell me something about yourself that no one else knows." Carol said as Daryl stared at her unimpressed.
"I hate games." He said simply making her narrow her gaze.
"Fine, you don't want to play then I'll just go-" Carol went to get up and Daryl caught her arm.
"I used to have a little sister." Daryl's confession made Carol stop.
"Y'all wonder why I'm so good with Judith…that's why. She was 4 when she died. Got leukemia and didn't even make it 4 months after they diagnosed her. I took care of her. My old man…he was a piece of shit and my mom barely survived her birth so I feed her, clothed her, taught her how to walk and say my name. She was the first real loss I've ever felt. I was only 14 when she died." Daryl explained as Carol sat back on the floor in front of him.
"What was her name?" Carol asked in a whisper.
"Nora, Nora Marie Dixon." Daryl pushed his shirt to the side to the tattoo over his heart. Carol had always wondered who Nora was and now that she knew the only thing she wanted to do was hug him.
"She was a lucky girl, just like Judith is a lucky girl. She certainly loves her Uncle Daryl." Carol hit his knee and he nodded.
"I guess I'll pick up 3 which is for me to tell you something about myself that no one else knows." Carol adjusted on the floor and Daryl looked at her curiously.
"I have a birthmark in the shape of a four leaf clover." Carol blurted making Daryl chuckle.
"I give you a buried secret and you give me a lucky birthmark?" Daryl teased and Carol kicked her shoe off to show her birthmark on her ankle.
"I was trying to be light hearted. I know it wasn't easy for you to tell me that so I figured a good laugh might help." She admitted and Daryl ran his fingertips over the birthmark.
"I suppose you're right. A lot of luck that ole thing brought us here at the end of the world." Daryl teased as she pulled her foot back. He picked up a 6.
"6 is mix, what are two things that don't mix well together?" Carol asked making Daryl bit his lip.
"Skunk and boiled eggs." Carol gagged covering her mouth and Daryl shook his head.
"My old man used to eat the strangest things whenever we'd go hunting. That smell could make you puke the moment it hit you." Daryl explained and Carol swallowed hard.
"And I thought Vodka and orange juice didn't mix well together. Just hearing those two things put together makes me want to vomit." Carol admitted making Daryl cock his eyebrow.
"Bad drinking experience I take it." He said watching Carol shake her head.
"I don't think I've ever vomited more in my entire life. I still can't drink orange juice without gagging." Daryl smiled at her. He felt like he was actually getting to know her more than he ever had before. He watched her hand hover over the 7 of hearts card before picking it up.
"I actually came up with 7. I never in a million years thought my answer would ever be Sophia though." Carol looked down at the card and Daryl wasn't sure if he should press her or not.
"W-what's 7?" He decided to keep the game going.
"If you could spend one day with someone who resides in heaven, who would it be?" She met his gaze and gave him a sad smile.
"I wouldn't mind that, spending a day with Sophia. She seemed like a really sweet kid. I would have liked to get to know her better." Daryl chewed on his lip as Carol stared at him. Despite her gaze being that of admiration, Daryl became uncomfortable and cleared his throat before picking up the 4 of clubs.
"What's 4?" He asked trying to change the subject. Carol shook her head to snap out of it before answering.
"4 is floor, where's the strangest place you've ever slept?" Carol asked.
"A doghouse." Daryl said without thinking earning a strange look from Carol.
"An actual doghouse? Why in the world would you sleep in a doghouse?" She chuckled.
"It's the only place my dad didn't look for me. We had a bloodhound when I was a kid but he got so drunk he ran him over and completely forgot about it. Whenever he drank, that's where I would run to. He always thought good ole Murph was in the doghouse so he never bothered looking for me in there." Daryl shrugged and Carol leaned back on her hands.
"You know that feeling you get whenever I talk about Ed? That feeling that makes you angry and you always tell me not to talk about him?" Carol asked.
"Yeah?" Daryl answered.
"That's the same feeling I get whenever I hear stories about how your dad treated you. You didn't deserve that." Carol's words made Daryl blush.
"I did sometimes." He said bowing his head to avoid her eyes but she sat forward.
"No child deserves to be terrorized or feel unsafe in their own home, no child." She said firmly making Daryl glance through his long hair.
"You didn't deserve the way Ed treated you either." Daryl shrugged.
"I guess you're right but we're stronger people because of it, or at least I like to think we are." Carol raised her eyebrows as she picked up the 9 of diamonds making her smile.
"9 is mime, imitate someone you know." Carol said before running her hands through her hair, ruffling it so it was all over the place and rubbing her face on the front of her pants to get her face slightly dirty.
"What the-" Daryl started to question if she had lost her mind but then she scowled at him.
"Deer are fucking majestic." She said and Daryl glared at her.
"Oh you think that's funny?" Daryl asked but she didn't break the scowl.
"Don't make me put an arrow in yer ass, woman!" She said teasing him. He waved his hand around gesture for her to wrap it up and she finally laughed.
"I'm not sure if I should be flattered or offended." Daryl rested his arms on his knees and Carol smiled.
"Aw come on, you know that was funny." She kicked his foot with her own and he rolled his eyes.
"Are you trying to tell me I need a haircut?" He reached up and fiddled with his hair and she smiled before leaning forward and tucking it behind his ears.
"No way, I like it like this." She smiled before pulling her hand back awkwardly. Daryl picked up the Jack and flipped it between his fingers.
"Tell me a funny story." Carol pointed to the card. Daryl thought of one immediately and smiled.
"Oh now you have to tell me. That was an instant smile." She pointed at his face and he shook his head.
"This one time after Merle got out of jail, he was actin' like a real asshole to me for no reason. Real shitty you know? Shoving me around and callin' me a pussy just because I said I missed having him around. So I took all of his underwear and dumped it out of the window…into a poison ivy patch." Carol covered her mouth to stifle a laugh.
"He was walking around town itching his bits for weeks before the doc said it was poison ivy. He beat my ass for it but it was worth it. Watching him walk around and try and hit on women at the bar with a stick in his hand to scratch himself." Daryl laughed and Carol finally let herself laugh out loud too.
"That's awful but so hilarious at the same time." She was turning red in the face from laughing so hard and Daryl took in how beautiful she looked when she laughed. So many things about her made Daryl's stomach churn in a good way. It wasn't a feeling he was used to but he tried to keep it as buried as he could. He enjoyed the relationship he had with Carol and didn't want to ruin it because of some stupid feeling in his stomach.
"I'm sorry…just that visual…oh I'm sure Merle would hate that I find his discomfort this amusing." Carol gripped her chest and tried to calm herself.
"Merle rarely let himself be the butt of any joke so it's nice to be at the cause of one, I'm glad you got a good laugh out of it." Daryl blushed and Carol smiled before picking up another card.
"I guess I'll take this one since it won't apply to you." She had picked up a 5.
"What's 5?" He questioned.
"5 is guys, what my ideal guy would be." She said seeing Daryl nod slowly.
"Yeah that wouldn't really apply to me considering I'm not really looking for an ideal guy." Daryl joked.
"Who said I was looking?" Carol teased winking at Daryl.
"I guess you've got some slim pickin's unless you gotta thing for the geriatrics." Daryl rubbed at his bottom lip and Carol sighed.
"No I don't see myself forming any really close bonds with the Woodbury folks. My ideal guy would be someone I could trust, someone strong that I could get along with. It's important to feel comfortable with the one you love and if that person isn't there when things get rough then what's the point of them being there at all? I want someone that's the complete opposite of Ed in every way. A real, selfless and brave man. Like I said before, I'd love a man of honor." Daryl was fixed on what Carol was saying, silently checking off those things in his head to see if he met her criteria. He knew she was too good for him but he couldn't tell if she truly cared about him like that or she was just simply humoring him.
"Jeez, you don't ask for much do ya?" Daryl said making Carol smile at him.
"He's out there, it'll just take him awhile to realize who he truly is." Carol nodded towards the cards and Daryl picked one up before she pressed further.
"So is Queen what kind of women I like or something?" Daryl questioned holding up the card.
"Actually no, it's what you think your best quality is which is pretty perfect for you." Carol said making Daryl cock his head to the side.
"Why is that perfect for me? You trying to say I don't have any good qualities?" Daryl got defensive for a moment and Carol shook her head.
"No I know you have good qualities, many good qualities but I wonder what you think is one of your good qualities." Carol explained. It took him a few moments to think about it.
"I guess I'm a pretty good shot. I know I can hunt well." Daryl said and Carol laughed.
"What?" He questioned.
"There is so much more to you than that Daryl. So much more." She let out a sigh that made Daryl squirm.
"Are you going to pick a card or what?" Daryl bit his lip once more and Carol picked up the 10 of clubs.
"10 is never have I ever- it means I have to tell a truth about something I haven't done but I know you've done." Carol explained before getting a mischievous smile.
"How can you be sure I've done something though?" Daryl asked confused.
"Well I'll make it easy. Never have I ever had an orgasm that wasn't self inflicted." Daryl blushed instantly.
"I don't believe that." Daryl said not being able to meet Carol's gaze.
"Not in all the years I was married did he ever manage to give me an orgasm. I've always had to do it myself." Carol explained slowly unwrapping her purple scarf to pull on it. Carol wasn't surprised when Daryl quickly picked up the next card to change the subject entirely but she laughed when it was the 8 of diamonds that he picked up.
"8 is mate. Let's say it's the end of the world and you had to pick one woman to repopulate it with, who would it be?" Carol smirked at him and Daryl felt his heartbeat speed up.
"That's a stupid question. I wouldn't be trying to repopulate, I'd be trying not to get my ass killed." Daryl started to move around on the floor and Carol moved closer.
"Are you trying to tell me that in all of the time we've all spent together, watching Maggie and Glenn go at it and Lori have her thing with Shane, you've never thought about having a tumble in the tall grass?" Carol was baiting him but Daryl never knew how to treat these situations. He had accepted her affections after Merle died but all of her flirty advances he turned down instantly. Before Merle's death, he'd play along but something happened to him that day he had to put his brother down. Something that scared the hell out of him as far as these people were concerned, as far as Carol was concerned.
"No, I don't think of stupid shit like that. I think about how I'm going to feed a prison full of people and protect the only family I got left. Sex is the last thing on my mind. Look where it got Lori. Look at what Glenn went through when he found out what the Governor did to Maggie. Who would willingly want anything to do with that?" Daryl's words made Carol pull back from him. She pulled her eyes away from him and let out a sigh as she picked up the Ace.
"Ace is ask. I can ask you whatever I want and you have to answer truthfully." Carol looked at Daryl and he held her gaze.
"What do you want to know?" He asked growing impatient.
"Why did you decide to come back? This last year we spent getting to know each other, I knew the one thing you wanted was to find Merle and when you finally did, I never thought we'd see you again. What made you change your mind?" Carol asked and Daryl snorted a laugh to keep from breathing heavy.
"Kinda asked more than one question there, never took you for a cheater." Daryl skirted but Carol let her head fall to the side.
"What made you realize you belonged here?" She asked the question and Daryl knew why he'd come back. He knew the answer but he wasn't sure how to tell her.
"We really shouldn't be playing games." Daryl got up from the floor and picked up the riffle looking out at the yard.
"We made it through the other cards and you're too scared to answer that simple question?" Carol said making Daryl get defensive.
"I ain't scared of nothin'! I'm just bored a' playin' this stupid game. You can go back inside if you gotta problem with it." Daryl said nastily.
"We were having such a nice time and you had to go and-" Daryl spun around cutting her off.
"And what? What do you want to hear? I came back because I knew I wouldn't survive on my own with Merle. He's always left me high and dry. When we were kids, on that rooftop in Atlanta…now. I came back because I knew I didn't have anyone else in the world but the family I made here. That's why I came back. Are you happy? Did you get your answer?" He challenged her and she silently got to her feet before wrapping the scarf back around her neck, this time however it was as if she was trying to shield herself.
"I'm sorry I bothered you." Carol didn't even meet his eyes as she walked to the door. Daryl noticed the last card on the floor and hurried to pick it up.
"Well you might as well tell me what the King is for before you go stormin' off." Daryl said and she stopped with her back to him.
"King is kiss, you're supposed to kiss someone in the room but since you've decided that pushing me away is better than taking a chance on caring I'll just let you hold onto it." Carol opened the door and left Daryl standing in the watchtower, clutching the card. He felt like an idiot. He kicked the box with the rest of the cards in it across the room and slammed a hand on the wall. He couldn't even chase after her if he wanted to because Glenn hadn't come back yet. He knew he would only make things worse if he tried to talk to her right now. She was pissed at him or upset by his answers but most of all she was hurt that he was pushing her away in the aftermath of Merle's death. He sat back in his chair flipping the card between his fingers trying to figure out what he was going to do.
The next morning, Carol was making breakfast when Glenn walked up to her cautiously.
"Hey-eh Carol." Glenn had something in his hands and she narrowed her eyes at him.
"Morning Glenn, can I help you with something?" She asked curiously.
"Yeah um Daryl told me to give this to you." He handed her the toothbrush and she eyed it carefully before cocking her eyebrow at him.
"Thank you?" She said unsure of what else to say.
"He also won't let anyone into the watchtower. He said that you would know what to do with the toothbrush and then told me to tell Rick not to bother sending anyone else up. I don't really know if that means anything to you but he seems like he's in a real mood." Glenn said as Carol thought about last night. She let out a sigh before setting the breakfast down and walking towards the watchtower. She didn't bother knocking as she went in and closed the door behind her.
"Are you trying to insinuate I need to brush my teeth more?" She poked at him and he spun around quickly.
"What? No it's code. I didn't think you would come back up here if I just asked." Daryl said setting his rifle down.
"Is there something you needed?" Carol crossed her arms over her chest and Daryl took a deep breath.
"You were right last night…I have been pushing you away since Merle…since I had to put him down." Daryl nervously fiddled with his hands.
"I watch Glenn and Maggie and I won't lie, I'd love to be able to…be with you like that and kiss you whenever I wanted." Daryl stepped closer but Carol stayed firm.
"But?" She said unwavering.
"I hurt so bad having to do what I did to Merle. The rage Glenn has for the governor because of Maggie would kill me. I don't know if I could handle anything happening to you. I… I don't think I'd be able to keep going if I lost you after waiting so long to finally get you." Daryl looked at Carol and he watched her face soften.
"You think you're the only one with that fear? Daryl, you leave out of here all the time to go hunting and go toe to toe with people who want us dead all the time. I have to mentally prepare myself every morning because I know I might lose you. That fear, that pain…that never goes away. I've made the first move here but you've got to decide if it's worth taking that leap of faith, if I'm worth taking that leap of faith." Carol had stepped closer to Daryl and he felt around in his pocket for the card. He pulled it out and looked at it.
"Would…would it be okay if I used this now?" He asked and Carol smiled softly at him before nodding at him. Daryl stepped a few paces forward until she was so close he could smell the soft scent of soap and breakfast on her skin. He hesitantly reached up to grip her face before licking his lips and leaning forward to meet hers. He froze for a moment before moving his lips softly over hers. She placed her hands on his chest startling him at first but he relaxed into her touch. When he finally pulled away he leaned his forehead against hers.
"For the record, I would have picked you." Daryl said making Carol tilt her head sideways.
"8 is mate, I'd pick you. No questions asked." Daryl said making Carol smile brightly before kissing him once more.