He's drunk again but, his father was just killed, there wasn't much more to expect from him than for him to just turn to the bottle. He was so much different, he had changed so much in such a short period of time. They're not saying he started out as a hero who always came to rescue them or that he was even close to being a justified Catholic. He isn't a spiritual man or a man who does great with relationships, but the one things he is, that he will forever be is an Honest Man. Along with that, he is something else, he's a drunk. He was drunk before ten o'clock which is unusual but it was his only was to deal with all the baggage that the past had collected. To turn his anger towards everyone around him. To cause all the mistakes that were once buried under the ground to arise again like zombies. So he drank even though Sophie insisted he didn't, So he drunk even though Eliot avoided looking at him in fear that he would relive past regrets. So, Nate persisted even though Hardison silently begged him to stop. It was him and his scotch bottle in his own isolated world.

Soon enough everyone started packing up. No one left but...that was just it. They didn't know how much more there heart could take. Even when Sophie tried to distract him he was the puppet and the scotch was the controller. Parker tried hiding all the alcohol but, Nate just bought more and there was nothing they could do. It was until they became too tired to watch did they give up trying to help him, all except for Parker. She had, had enough. She had too much pain too many memories of the drunken man and his bottle. Too many memories were she wondered if he was ever going to stop, if he was going to realize what it does to him, to them.

In her mind it was always the same. The alcohol, beer bottles sprinkled across the floor, bruises lying across mother's back and a whole in a wall that would grow bigger and bigger over the weeks. A heart slowly crumbling after being so sore for so long. It always ending with her in the corner crying waiting for the night to end, for mommy and daddy to stop arguing and for everything to be OK, but they never were. So she marched up to Nate afraid but brave enough to do something she never had the courage to do as a child. She took the bottle away.

"Parker what are you doing?" He growled more than asked as he slurred his words which filled what once was silence.

"I'm stopping you! Look..look at what you're doing to yourself, Look!" she said silent tears running down her face.

"Give it back!" he said drunkenly.

Eliot was watching the seen on guard as well in exasperation. Hardison had is sixth and Sophie was also on high alert as she watched, inching closer as to stop him before he did anything stupid.

"NO" She retaliated strongly although she was screaming of fear inside.

"Damn it Parker!" he said angrily. He raised his and brought it down quick as that, striking her. The bottle shattered as it slipped from her hand.

Then the room fell silent even as Eliot reached out to Nate twisting his arm behind his back to save him the pain of the full blown punch he would have received if he wasn't being mentally restrained. Then came the scream. Parker didn't run, she just sank to the ground holding herself for safety as the memories flooded into her mind.

Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relieve your darkest moments

I can see no way, I can see no way.

"Daddy stop Please." little Parker begged.

"Oh you hear that bitch why don't you tell your little girl what you did to me?" he spat at the bloody shaking woman that was crumbled under him.

"Daddy please." she screamed. " Stop hurting Momma."

"Tell her to stop hurting me." He said as he broke a beer bottle cutting himself making a long bloody trail run down his arm. She watched as he smiled almost enjoying the power and control he created as they were frightened. The smile ignite flames in Parker's heart but she couldn't cease the fire, all she could do was watch. The smile widened as he saw the fear pass over her eyes, as he watched the tears stream down her face in rapid rivers.

"Daddy please." She whimpered as she saw her mother could no longer speak.

"Tell her you whore!" he said as he kicked the now unconscious woman who was barely breathing. He grabbed her hair which caused Parker to let out a heart wrenching cry as she continued to watch helplessly at the corner of the room. He threw her mom unto the hard kitchen tile floor. She heard a crack and watched as her mom stopped breathing.

"Fine you Bitch, I'll tell her myself." he picked up the broken beer bottle from under the tangled mess of junk that was there forward. He turned to her, making her heart race faster and faster as he inched closer. She hung on tight to Mr. Bunny her comfort object as he took the last step signifying her was right in front of her. He took of his belt with one hand and it easily slid out. With one hand he folded it. He gave her one swat with his thick leather belt, putting it on her bear flesh. You could hear the swat through her painful screams and pleas of mercy. She took the swats though as she had become accustomed to them.

"Daddy, I love you" the seven year old said as her hands outstretched towards her father with love even through all the pain he was causing her.

And all of the ghouls come out to play
Every demon wants his pound of flesh

"I am not your Daddy, don't call me that." He said while backhanding, her belt still in hand.

"But Daddy..." he struck her once again this time his eyes blazing redder than before. She didn't understand. " I love you and mommy."

"Well, get it through your head no one loves you!" He said bringing the broken beer bottle down quickly.

-Boom- you could door open and at the same time the gun being shot killing her father. His body fell limp on top of her as his brain dissembled itself from all sense, and his heart slowing from it's usual beat until it eventually stopped.

"But I love you Daddy." she said as the tears ran down her cheeks along with the sweat the beaten had created, her face and blonde hair covered in blood from the splatter. "But, I love you daddy." she repeated.

But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn.

Then she watched as they ganged up on Nate, protecting her, taking her side.

"What the hell Nate!" Eliot yelled at Nate with fury in his eyes, he almost looked as if he was going to kill. "We are your team, we are your family. You don't hurt family you just don't" he yelled while tightening the grip on his arm and pressing him up against the counter.

Hardison was grabbing bags as he was ready to leave. Nate had hurt his girl he couldn't accept that, he felt like throwing a punch at him right then and there but he restrained himself. He needed all the stuff to be ready in the car before they got finished with Nate. Sophie was raging in a panic frenzy as unlike the boys she wasn't restraining herself. Every movement she made was of anger, anger the can only rage on from a mother's heart. She watched over Parker as the dread fear, and despicable memories shadowed over Parker's eyes in a gray mist. That didn't keep her from scolding Nate in a deathly and scary way.

"Nathan Ford, she is not your punch bag. If you want to hurt yourself if you want to drink yourself to death then go ahead. We have tried to save you! But we are done, we can't go on watching, we were your family but the man that you are today is not apart of this family! He is a HONEST MAN, who cares for his kids, that's the man I fell in love with." She said while tears raced down her face wildly. " That's not the man I kept falling for, for the past 10 years. He's not the man I keep falling for." she stated strongly even though her voice was cracking. "I know this, you better look away from that old mirror enough to see the damage you have done, and realize you are not the man you use to be. Look at the mirror and call me when you realize who you are."

Eliot let go and picked Parker up Princess because she was still in shock. They then headed out the door. Sophie looked back with so much pain so much hurt her feelings were almost screaming at him. He could see the tear fall to the ground which he thought he heard loud and clear. "Nate, your family needs you, sober." She then slammed the door leaving him to the little demons and ghouls. And as the door closed on the other side was a lost girl who was whispering the same thing she had so long ago. "but Daddy I love you"

And I've been a fool and I've been blind

I can never leave the past behind

I can see no way, I can see no way

I'm always dragging that horse around

And our love is pastured such a mournful sound

Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground

So I like to keep my issues drawn

But it's always darkest before the dawn

When they left Nate found himself waiting for a minute to make sure they were gone. He pulled out his wallet to check how much money he had currently in case he need to get some more scotch from down stairs. When he opened it, reality popped up and he realized his wrong. In his wallet was two pictures. One of Sam, his boy, his energetic boy that was once so lively, that wouldn't want to see his father like this. With his blue, wide eyes that were always so lively and innocent. The eyes that never got a chance to explore the whole world, to believe that one day he could be president. Hell Nate knew he could have done it, he was so smart just like his father. Nate could almost hear Sam calling him telling him. "Daddy it's OK we still love you, it was just a Booboo."

Nate found himself answering to the voice of Sam that was lingering in his head. "Yeah Sam it was just a booboo." that caused him to smirk slightly at the memory.

The second picture was a picture he had took. Hardison, Eliot and Sophie were on the couch. Hardison and Eliot seemed to be fighting over the remote and Hardison was losing. Hardison's mouth was open wide in disbelief. Sophie was reading a book but seemed to look behind it just in time to be in the snapshot of the picture. Then there was Parker who was sitting Indian style with a cereal bowl and spoon in her hands looking up with her beautiful blue eyes, that were still full of innocence and life and such curiosity. She looked so content with just that bowl of cereal Nate just had to let up a small grin although he was drunk.

Then he realized what Sophie said was the truth. His family needed him and his heart, their hearts could not could not afford to find a new one and even with all they money they had collected together they couldn't afford to buy a new one. So Nate made a promise to himself he would fix himself, it was the only way.

I am done with my graceless heart

So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart

Cause I like to keep my issues drawn

It's always darkest before the dawn

So he found himself in front of a big building where it was surrounded by flowers and fountains. The smells of herbal tea and cinnamon scents the place called "A Better Day Rehabilitation Center."

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back

So shake him off, oh whoa

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off
And given half the chance would I take any of it back

It's a fine romance but its left me so undone

It's always darkest before the dawn
Oh whoa, oh whoa...
And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't

So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road

And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope

It's a shot in the dark and right at my throat

Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me

Looking for heaven, found the devil in me

Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me

Six months later he was at Sophie's door. He knocked while bouncing back and forth on the balls of his feet. Finally she answered the door.

"Hello Nate" she said a little coldly

"Hey Sophie"

"So what is it that you want?"

"I came to see if you guys are OK"

"We are fine Nate."

"No Thanks to you." you could hear Hardison inquire in. He was still very hurt from the incident and responded bitterly.

"Just let me explain."

"Explain what? Why you left us in such a state I don't need you to explain." Sophie shouted.

"I know you don't but I have to."

"Two minutes" she said opening the door wider for Nate to entered. All the eyes in the room turned to him.

"I know I have been really...irresponsible but and I know I have hurt you all. Let me tell you I have looked myself in the mirror and Soph, I didn't like what I saw so I have thrown out all my alcohol. But really I just came here to give you this, I know this is not my strength but apologizing but here you go." He passed around the paper and stood there as he watched them read and pass it around until it landed on Parker's lap. As he watched her face change, he decided he was going to leave.

"Well, um bye." he said excusing himself out.

"Stay." You heard someone mumble out. It was so miniscule that you could barely hear it. Just hearing the plea was unexpected. "Stay" the person mumbled out again and he realized it was Parker. She repeated the word one more time. "Stay please"

And he did, that was all he needed for him to be OK for the team to be OK. Once again Parker had said the words that had invaded her mind since she was seven years old. "I still love you Daddy."

Roses have thorns and so did people but it was the beauty of the colored flower, and the layering of it all. It was the smells that created such peace. Most of all it is simplicity of the meaning, that when the thorns were thrown away and the color diminished and dead that it still held meaning. The meaning that even through raging winds and pain it could still withhold love, love that is everlasting. Who knew Nate would be able to find the meaning of a rose better yet that he could learn, that he could Shake It Off.

A/N Please review I have been writing a lot of NCIS stories but I thought I would write a leverage story. This is for The BIG One Challenge on LJ Reviews are appreciated.