DISCLAIMER: I do not own "Naruto"

Chapter One – Ghosts of the Clan

He doesn't have the motivation to move on. And sometimes…sometimes he wishes that he could just go to sleep and never wake up. It would be painless and simple. However, to accomplish such a thing, actually falling asleep is a requirement. He can't remember the last time he slept peacefully. His life is so full of heartache and anger—always taking turns that he is unable to prevent. Just as he was forced by Tsukiyomi to watch his family being slaughtered, he was forced to return to Konoha. He never intended to return—yet here he is.

He sits on the sofa by the window, staring out at the wooden village beneath an overcast sky. The war's been over for almost four weeks, and he's been back for almost two. They have been the longest two weeks of his life. He wonders if the rest of his life will be like this—dull and torturous. It's not that Konoha has treated him poorly; in fact, because of his "heroic" deeds during the war, all charges that were against him were dropped and he reinstated as a Konoha shinobi. And, it's not even that there's nothing to do in Konoha. With all the rebuilding going on, there's plenty to do to keep one occupied. It's just…he no longer knows what his purpose is. He used to be driven by goals, by revenge, by the need for truth, and by justice. But now, he has none of those things to keep him going.

It wasn't so long ago that he had wanted to destroy Konoha.

"When you were foolish," Itachi says.

Sasuke glares at his brother. "Disappear."

But Itachi doesn't disappear. He remains at Sasuke's left shoulder, his lips tugged down by a frown. Sasuke knows he won't be left in peace, but it doesn't change the disappointment he feels. It's been this way since Itachi used his Izanami and stopped Kabuto. Even though Itachi's physical body returned to dust and his soul finally given rest, his presence still haunts Sasuke. Sasuke knows that his brother is dead, along with all the other Uchiha, but the knowledge doesn't stop him from seeing them…all of them. He sees the ghosts of the clan nearly every day. It's absolute torture.

He looks at Itachi for a moment longer, disgust swirling in rivulets through his stomach, making him queasy. Looking away, he tries to forget that the specter is lingering where it's unwelcome. Sometimes he wonders if there's something wrong with him. His sanity can't be in proper condition…sane people don't see—imagine—dead people. The thought occurs to him more often than he would like, accompanied hand-in-hand with the knowledge that he should see a doctor. But Sasuke still has his pride.

He lays his arms on the back of the couch and rests his chin on them, balefully staring out. He hates how the weather seems to mimic his mood. Normally, he likes rain and lightning—especially lighting. Today, he feels himself falling apart. The edges are slipping and he doesn't know how to reel it in. He doesn't know how to get over his past and look to the future. As far as he can see, there is nothing bright waiting for him, just the never ending emptiness that he feels.

I wish you had killed me, Itachi, Sasuke thinks with a sigh. There's nothing for me here.

There's a twitch at the corner of Sasuke's left eye and he yawns. The awareness at the edge of his mind is starting to become fuzzy and he wouldn't mind falling asleep. It's been a long time and he is so tired. His eyes are heavy and itch; he would rub them if he weren't so comfortable. So he closes his eyes and waits for sleep to pull his consciousness away.

He waits a long time. It seems that sleep is just as reluctant to visit during the day as it is during the night. He's aggravated, but not enough to move or open his eyes. If he just waits long enough, stays still long enough, his body will become bored and his mind with get caught off guard. He's determined to sleep.

A light knocking sounds at his apartment door. He grimaces. Clenching his eyes tighter, he is intent on ignoring the soft knocking, but it persists. Growling, Sasuke roughly gets to his feet and opens the door ready to yell at whoever decided to interrupt his attempt at sleeping. However, he's put a little off kilter seeing Sakura standing in his doorway, half-soaked and smiling at him.

"Sakura, why are you here?"

"Um…" she seems to not really have an answer. "Naruto has a pretty nasty bug, so I thought I'd come to make sure you were healthy."

Sasuke's eyebrow rises, unconvinced by her reason.

She huffs. "So I'm not allowed to check up on my friends?"

Sasuke hasn't thought of them as friends in over three years and he's not sure if he can start again.

"I brought cookies," she says in a last attempt.

"I don't like sweets—"

"I know!" she blushes. "I just…thought you might like some company once in a while."

Sasuke stares at her for a moment. He was just about to fall asleep…no, he wasn't, but he'd been trying to. No, he doesn't really want company, at least not hers, but he doesn't really see anyone else offering either. He is lonely. He would rather sleep. He doesn't like her…well, rather he's indifferent to her. Though, thinking about it, he can't really see a risk in spending this one afternoon with her. It's not like she's proclaiming everlasting love or looking at him with star-crossed eyes. He knows there's no harm in allowing her inside. And who knows, maybe he'll enjoy the change in activity. He doubts it, but he'll never know if he doesn't give it a chance. Besides, seeing someone other than Itachi might help him keep his wits about him.

He slowly steps aside. "Come in," he mumbles.

She smiles and walks past him. The brush of air that follows her reminds Sasuke that he is among the living and he's not sure how he feels about it.

"Do you mind if I make tea?" Sakura asks happily.

"Uh…sure," he replies uncertainly.

It's odd that Sakura is so…comfortable around him. It seems it was only last week that she was avoiding him like the plague. And now, she's bustling about his kitchen as if it's her own. Funny how she knows exactly where he keeps the kettle and tea. He wonders what made Sakura come visit him today…the real reason.

Itachi stands over Sakura's shoulder, watching as she makes tea. "She seems nice," he says to Sasuke.

He rolls his eyes. There's an ulterior motive. There has to be.

After a few moments of dreadful silence, the kettle steams with a whistle and the tea is soon in cups in their hands. Sakura sips hers carefully and Sasuke watches her.

"You have good taste in tea, Sasuke-kun."

His heart aches at the sound of his name on her lips. It's a familiar sound, but too many years and bad memories tarnishes it.

"You look tired," she continues. "You are getting sick, aren't you?"

"She's right, you look terrible," Itachi agrees.

"Go away."

"I-I'm sorry." Sakura frowns. "Did I say something wrong?"

Sasuke looks up, startled to realize he spoke to Itachi aloud. "No," he replies hastily, his eyes narrowing.

Sakura looks down into her tea and Sasuke feels like he's the one who spoke out of turn. He's not used to other people being around while Itachi haunts him. His eyes dart around the room, trying to look at anything but Sakura. He breathes heavily.

"Why are you here, Sakura?"

"I…thought I already told you."

"No." He looks straight at her, catching her nervous gaze. "The real reason."

Sakura chews on her lower lip a moment and then sighs in defeat. "I want to start over. Be friends. We were never really friends. I guess we were as close as we could have been…considering the circumstances." She laughs nervously and averts her gaze again. Sasuke realizes that she's still scared of him. "After what you've been through—what we've been through—I think you need a friend. So…I want to forget all the bad that's between us and just have a new start, Sasuke-kun."

He looks down. "Don't call me that."

Sakura's lip quivers.

"Sasuke-kun is the boy you knew. He's been gone for a long time."

She bites her lip and nods. "Okay," she whispers.

"I'm not sorry for the things I've done," he says, looking into her liquid-green eyes. "Can you accept that?"

Her brow furrows and he thinks that her heart must be breaking. "I still love you. Can you accept that?"

Sasuke clenches his jaw. He can't accept it—Sakura's love. He doesn't deserve it and he doesn't want it. Accepting her love would bear consequences that he isn't ready to deal with. Hope. Sakura can't be given the hope that he'll return her feelings one day; it would only cause her more grief. Sasuke wonders, though, what it'll do to their potential friendship if he refuses to accept her feelings. Will she rescind her offer?

He crosses his arms across his chest and looks at her long and hard. "I'll do as I've always done and tolerate it. You have to promise you won't expect me to return your feelings."

Sakura's nostrils flare as she breathes deep. "I promise," she says reluctantly.

He tilts his head in approval.

Sakura smiles cheekily. "Then it's settled. We're friends."

Sasuke smirks a little. "Aa."

.

Sakura didn't stay too much longer after their conversation, which Sasuke is thankful for. He still isn't sure how he feels about her visit. Is it progress what he agreed to today? Is it foolishness? He worked so hard to break the bonds with his ex-teammates, yet here he is, allowing those bonds to be reformed. He wonders if Sakura will be true to her word and expect nothing romantic from him. It's the moments that he is being stalked by crazy fangirls or breaking hearts unintentionally that he wishes he had a plain appearance. Curse the genes of the Uchiha.

"One day, when you realize that you need a girl in order to further your plans, you'll be grateful," Itachi comments.

"Tch. Whatever."

Sasuke continues to wash his dishes in silence, again trying to ignore his brother's presence. Itachi's not really there. Sasuke knows that, but it's hard to ignore what he can see and feel and hear. When it's just him and Itachi in the apartment, he wonders if he really did see Itachi die. It's so easy to forget that the man with him is a ghost. He seems so lifelike and real—more real than the others in his life. It was when there were others around that Sasuke sees how dead Itachi really is. He can't compare to the living and the living can't see him.

Itachi can't act independently. He seems to follow Sasuke around without a purpose. That's why Sasuke wonders if he's not a real ghost, but an image conjured up by his own mind. It makes sense to him, but Itachi scoffs at the thought.

Feeling drained and suffering from a headache, Sasuke decides to turn in for the night. Maybe sleep will be his second visitor of the day. Of course, Sasuke seems to be wrong a lot lately. He lies in bed for hours waiting for the bliss of sleep that never comes. His mind is restless. Thousands of broken images flash across his eyes, memories that refuse to remain buried call his attention to them, and the sound of voices fill his ears. While his eyes are closed, his brain is on overdrive. So he opens his eyes just to make the chaos stop and it does…but only while his eyes are open.

The sound of running water reaches Sasuke's ears…and humming. He recognizes the faint sound easily and dread fills his stomach. Slowly, after rubbing his eyes, he gets to his feet and travels down the short hallway until he finds himself standing in the kitchen. His gaze is brought to the sink where a woman with long black hair works cheerfully. Sasuke folds his arms over his chest and leans against the wall. It's been a while since this visitor has come.

"Mom," he whispers.

She turns and smiles brightly. "Looks like you forgot one, Sasuke-kun."

He smiles. "I washed them all."

"Go finish your homework before you play with Itachi."

A strain appears in Sasuke's mouth and his smile disappears. His mother can't hear him or see him—they can't interact. This is why Sasuke will always prefer his head illusion, Itachi, to the real ghosts. She only brings him grief.

He turns his back to the ghost of his mother and bows his head. He hopes Itachi doesn't notice the tears gathering in his eyes—the tears that Sasuke pretends he's not crying.

A/N: I wasn't supposed to publish this until Sunday, but I just couldn't resist. I'm excited about this story. It's my first post-war could be canon type story and I'm really passionate about the plot that I've come up with. It is inspired by the poem Apology for Bad Dreams by Robinson Jeffers. As usual, this started out as a one-shot for SSM's prompt Ghost, but has evolved into the 10 chaptered fic I have planned. I do hope you enjoy.

And as always, thanks to the ever wonderful wingedmercury for being an awesome beta.

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As a final note, this is going to be the last of my multichaps for a while. I will be updating the three stories (We Are Extinct, The Art of Breaking, and Remember the Sunlight) on a rotation by publish order. You can expect the next chapter of We Are Extinct sometime within the next two weeks. Thank you for being awesome readers and for reviewing.