Diplomatic Immunity
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the canon characters from The Princess Diaries; they belong to Meg Cabot and Disney. No monetary gain is being made from this one-shot.
Lord Nicholas Devereaux is utterly convinced that he has never been as petrified in all of his days as he is right now.
"Well, Nicholas, it is your own fault," the young Lord Devereaux reminds himself in a soft tone of voice as he straightens his tie in the hallway mirror for the umpteenth time. "You could have embraced the traditions of the 21st century, but no! You just had to go the traditional route, even if Mia is the Queen-to-be of Genovia," Nicholas continues to verbally scold himself, ideas regarding his current predicament.
Sighing while deciding his tie is fixed well enough, Nicholas manages to put a determined expression on his face, preparing to seek out the one man in Genovia who can make Nicholas feel as insignificant as a blade of grass. That's right. Nicholas is on the lookout for Joe, ex-Head of Security and current husband to Queen Clarisse Renaldi. He might as well prepare his own funeral now and save everyone else the trouble. Catching sight of Joseph, Nicholas puts on a confident expression and swallows the rather large lump in his throat.
"Well, here goes nothing."
"Joseph, I do believe you have someone who desires an audience with you, darling," Clarisse grins as Joe places a tender kiss, soft and slow, to her hands.
"Hmm? And, who, might I ask, is more important than you, Your Majesty?" Joseph sweetly inquires, a teasing smile on his lips as he holds his new wife in his arms.
(And, oh, how extraordinary it is to be able to think of Queen Clarisse Renaldi in that light after all these years the ex-Head of Security had spent pining over his soulmate and best friend.)
"I do not know of anyone on this Earth who could tear me away from my time with you, my love," Joseph continues, and if Clarisse were not royalty, the Queen of Genovia is certain she would absolutely giggle and blush like a schoolgirl.
"I think the young Nicholas Devereaux might slightly disagree with you there," Clarisse informs, smiling discreetly as she watches Nicholas try not to turn green in apprehension of his upcoming conversation.
"I still haven't quite forgiven him for what he almost did to Mia," Joe reminds in a low whisper, a tone of voice Clarisse has learned to associate with Joseph's protective nature.
It really is rather sweet, but Clarisse Renaldi has the lingering suspicion she knows what Nicholas wants to discuss with Joe.
"You must be civil in your talk with him, Joseph," Clarisse softly commands, resting one hand on her husband's cheek.
"It depends on what the young Lord Devereaux wishes to discuss," Joe remarks, pursing his lips and allowing his eyes to harbor their signature icy expression used in interrogations.
"Mia's future could depend on this!"
"I know," the man in black whispers, watching as Clarisse walks across the room, exchanging pleasantries with Nicholas before exiting. "That is what I am afraid of."
Preparing himself to both respect the young Lord Nicholas Devereaux as well as instill some fear in the young man, Joseph clears all traces of emotion from his face.
After finishing his short conversation with Clarisse, Nicholas slowly walks towards Joseph.
"Sir?" Nicholas questions, hands shaking even with his silent protests. "Might I have a bit of your time to discuss a matter with you?"
"If that is what you would like, Lord Devereaux," Joseph coolly remarks, no emotion present in his voice. "Let us go to the stables where no one can overhear us, yes?" the ex-Head of Security suggests with a smirk. "I feel as if the conversation you wish to have is for my ears only," he continues, and Nicholas' apprehension does not go unnoticed.
Nicholas would be lying if he said he wasn't scared out of his mind.
"Of course!" Nicholas laughs in a shaky manner, not at all confident as he should be. "There's never any way to tell who may be listening," he manages to get out, tensing up considerably when Joseph places one hand on the younger man's shoulders, guiding Lord Nicholas Devereaux to the stables.
Smirking down at the ground, Joe realizes that the intimidation phase is off to an excellent start; the poor young man is practically shaking in his shoes. Mission accomplished. Now Joe is one-hundred percent sure that Nicholas Devereaux will properly heed the warnings given to him.
Reaching the stables, Joseph motions for Nicholas to enter first, and the younger man reluctantly steps forward. Creaking the door shut behind him, Joe secures the latch from the inside of the stables, wanting no one on the while of planet Earth to interrupt his little conversation with the young Lord Nicholas Devereaux. The younger man's flinching does not go unnoticed by the ex-Head of Security. Everything is progressing according to plan.
"What is it that you wish to talk about, Lord Devereaux?" Joe coolly inquires, a neutral expression on his face as he walks the stables, admiring all the photographs of the horses and the royal family that line the walls.
"Ahem," Nicholas clears his throat, fear returning to his crystal blue eyes as he prepares himself for one of the most nerve-wracking moments of his entire life. "Well, as I know you are aware, Mia has no living male relatives in the royal family; her father and grandfather are both deceased, may they rest in peace," he begins, doing his best to become confident where he doesn't look like a complete fool in front of Joe.
"Correct. Nothing gets past you, does it, Lord Devereaux?" Joseph teases, his tone of voice neutral and his face not betraying his humor.
"No, sir, I was just stating a fact. Ummm… And I know that you and Princess Mia are very close; anyone can see how much she looks up to you and how much you admire her," Nicholas begins to ramble, his palms growing sweaty by the second.
Talking to the Ex-Head of Security for the Genovian Crown is harder than he had expected.
"Is there meant to be a question in this, or are we merely stating facts?" Joe inquires, a tiny smirk playing on his lips. "Because if so, I have some absolutely riveting facts about Genovian pears and that sort of thing," he deadpans in that dry sense of humor only he can pull off.
Nicholas lets out a nervous chuckle before deciding he needs to get this over with before it gets even more awkward.
"I would like to ask you for permission to ask Princess Amelia to marry me," Nichola abruptly blurts out, deciding not to waste any more precious time, lest he lose the courage he managed to build up altogether.
The silence enveloping the stable is so suspenseful that someone could practically cut the tension with a thick knife.
"Am I going to be disappointed in you, Nicholas?" Joe gravely inquires, not betraying any emotion as he fixes Lord Devereaux with a blank stare.
"I should hope not, sir. I promise to love, honor, and cherish Princess Mia for all of my days left on this Earth if I were fortunate enough to receive your blessing to make her my wife," Nicholas honestly admits to the older man, still terrified out of his wit's end of Joseph.
"And you're sure of this?" Joseph questions, that same even, yet, still mildly threatening tone present in his voice. "I seem to remember not two months ago you were adamant to dispose of Mia and become the King of Genovia. If I may be so bold, what has changed, hmm?" he continues to interrogate Mia's potential suitor.
"As you know, I am no longer associated with my uncle, and I have henceforth denied all desire to be known as the heir to the Genovian crown. As such, I am fully prepared to be devoted entirely to Princess Mia and have no ulterior motives other than to love her with all of her heart and soul," Nicholas vows, a somewhat sheepish smile on his lips as he struggles to remain calm in the face of the ex-Head of Security.
Joe nods slightly, an emotionless face staring back at Nicholas Devereaux, making the younger man grow even more nervous in the process.
"If you hurt my girl, you will answer directly to me," Joe threatens, his tone both protective and confident. "And whatever crimes I commit against you, remember I have diplomatic immunity in forty-six countries, including Puerto Rico," he continues, smirking slightly as Nicholas takes a small step backwards.
Good. That is exactly the reaction Joe desired from the young man.
"Of course, sir. Though, I never intend to hurt Princess Mia. Not so long as I will live," Nicholas assures.
"Perfect. Then we should have no problems with one another," Joe comments, a sparkle in his eyes. "You have my blessing to marry Mia, Nicholas, if and only if she agrees and you remember my explicit instructions."
"Thank you, sir. I understand perfectly," Lord Devereaux smiles widely.
"Being the Queen's ex-Head of Security and current husband certainly has it perks," Joe muses.
Author's Note: And there it is! My second Princess Diaries story! I just absolutely love Mia and Joe's granddaughter to grandfather sort of relationship in which he loves her in all the platonic ways a male role model should! I still can't get over how he rescued Mia from the rain in the first movie and inspired her with Eleanor Roosevelt quotes! :) Their interactions always make my heart melt, and the second movie provided the inspiration for this little gem! All reviews would be greatly appreciated, and if you have any Mia X Nicholas or Joe X Clarisse stories rated T or lower you'd like to see from me, then please give me a prompt in either a review or PM! Until next time, dear readers; have an amazing day, afternoon, or night!