Disclaimer: I don't not own Sailor Moon or Weiss Kreuz. The song is sung by Enrique Iglesias. (Lyrics removed 4/30/05)
I Have Always Loved You
It had been her eyes that, captured him, the first time. It had the soft glow of pain that reflected in them, that held him...That frighten him.
Aya-chan, had introduce them that rainy day, years ago. Tsukino Usagi, was at least a year older that his sister, and stunningly beautiful. How could she not be? With long golden streamers of hair. A face, that artists had been painting for centuries. Brilliant sapphire eyes, that seemed to outshine the beautiful crystal pendent, hanging around her neck, that seemed to seep into your soul, and reveal your secrets. Soft, pink lips, that shared a sweet smile ready for anyone needing a smile. She was tiny, with legs for miles and a stunning figure. He would have to be brain dead if he didn't react to the vision before him.
For days after, Aya-chan had teased him. Humming the wedding march, Revealing childhood embarrassments, and directing the naive blonde into the bathroom, when he was getting out of the shower. Strangely enough he hadn't minded...He would have told her his life story and bared his soul, had she ever asked.
Of course that had been before...Takatori, the bastard.
Before everything he had ever known, had shattered into pieces.
"Hello, Ran-kun. It has been a long time."
Never again, since, he pushed her out of Aya-chan's hospital room and out of his life, had he thought he would come across, the name Tsukino Usagi, much less the person. Nor had he thought that so many memories would return with her. Yet there she stood, in all her glory. The years had barely change her...She was still as lovely as the first time he set his eyes on her.
It was clear, that he had bought back memories for her also. It was there written in her eyes.
"...Um, this is my fiancé, Chiba Mamoru."
Of course her name would be attached to another's. It wouldn't have been fair to think, that this beautiful golden child would be alone, that someone else wouldn't try to capture the gentleness that was Usagi.
"We wish to look at your best flower arrangements."
Ran looked at this Chiba Mamoru, through wary eyes.
He hated him. Pure and simple. Mamoru had the goddess of his youth. Ran, only had the cold feelings of unfulfilled revenge.
Hadn't, Usagi, once told him, that she had left, Juuban to get away. To get away from the one that crushed her heart more than once? A Chiba Mamoru? Why had she return to him? Didn't she know that he...
No, it wasn't fair to think that way. He gave her up. He gave up any claim that he once had on her heart.
"Do you make the arrangements, Ran?"
He gave a short and quick nod, as the couple leafed though photographs. He couldn't help but noticed her eyes. Beautiful as always, only now doubt was written in those depths. Doubts, of the man that she would soon pledge her life to. So many questions plagued those azure eyes...Was the love between this man and her, meant to be...or...
He caught sight, of those sapphire depths, staring at him. With a faint blush staining her cheeks, she turned away...
Or, was what they had three years ago...No. He had no right to think about what could have been...no right at all. Revenge and memories were all that he had. He had survived this long with that cold comfort...
"Lets try, the shop, by the marketplace, Usako."
Usagi, nodded hastily, grabbing her handbag. "Sa..." Giving him one last look, she smiled warmly at him. She didn't want to leave just yet, her eyes said so, " Iie, Ja ne...Ran...chan,"
...and he, would somehow continued on with them, and without her.
Flashback
"Happyyyyyyy Birthdayyyyy hick to MEEEEEEEE!"
Ran sighed, as he carried Usagi, out of the nightclub. The rest of the group, celebrating Usagi's fifteenth birthday, were dead asleep in the backside of his father's car, after a long night of dancing and the discovery of white wine spizters. How they got their hands on them...How they snucked out, under his watchful eye, he didn't know. Only Usagi, reminded awake, giggling like a madwoman. "You don't tolerate liquor very well..." he muttered, as he struggled to buckle her into the front seat. She didn't want to let go.
"I like being in your...arms, Ran-chan," she slurred, sleepily, "It feels so right...so perfect..." She smiled lazily up at him, before placing a soft kiss on his lips. Shocked he pulled away, while Usagi assumed the look of a content kitten. "Demo I have to...zzz...snore"
Ran blinked. Of all things he pictured, while being stuck chaperoning Usagi's birthday. Being kissed by the drunk birthday girl wasn't it.
It was best to forget, that kiss.
Or give a real one.
"Ran-kun!" Usagi, stepped out of the hotel room, on the beach. The sunlight intensified the headache that was pounding restlessly at her. She really didn't want to face him after last night, but Aya-chan and the rest of the girls, elected her to retrieve their chaperon, while they finish packing. By the winks and secret glances trade, this was obliviously a plan between them. What a way to end her birthday weekend.
"Ohayo, Usagi-chan."
"Ohayo!" Usagi, chirped, as she wondered if she could get away, pretending that she didn't remember? "We're all ready to go! Right now the girls are flirting with the cute bellboys!" An impish look cross Usagi's face, "Especially Aya-chan..."
"Then you have time to stay and talk, " Ran replied, smiling faintly at the surprised look on Usagi's face. This was not the reaction, she was expecting from her friend's protective brother.
"Okay...about what?" Usagi questioned, taking a seat on the sand, next to Ran.
"Last night,"
"I...I don't..." Usagi, stammered, stricken. Ran faced her, gently cupping her chin.
"This time I want that kiss for real Usagi." Usagi's eyes widen as he lowered his head.
End Flashback
"Aya-kun! Manx's here!" he heard Omi, exclaimed. Ran then noticed that the shop was cleared of its usual hindering admirers. Ran nodded and followed the younger boy into the back room.
Now was not the time to dwell on the past.
Ran closed his bedroom door, to block out, Youji's ranting. The playboy was not pleased with Omi's earlier actions. It didn't bother Youji, that their youngest member was related to that...that bastard. No what bother him was that Omi lied to him about the beautiful woman in the cave that turned out to be Ouka. His fault for thinking with his hormones.
He laid down on his bed, remembering his earlier encounter with Usagi.
Beautiful Usagi.
He had made her cry, when they last met.
Flashback
Ran, looked up at the soft knocking. He knew who it was. Of course she would be here. Usagi had the biggest heart in the world, one could accuse her of caring to much. The innocent angel completely capable of forgiving the devil himself, should he ask.
Something, after tonight, he would, never be able to do.
"I came as fast as I can..."Usagi's voice trembled as she moved to her friend's side. "Aya-chan's strong...you'll see that she'll be fine. If you like I can get Dr. Mizuno, she's one of the..."
"Why are you here?" Though his face was buried in his hands, he could feel her stiffen. He could pictured the hurt look etched on her face. Quickly followed by those of his slayed parents, the crushing pain, he felt under the weight of what used to be his home...that car ruthlessly hitting his sister. Usagi had no place within these walls. He would make sure of that, she couldn't be caught in this nightmare, that had become his world.
"I want to make sure you were okay, Ran-chan." Usagi replied, moving to kneel beside him. She softly gripped his hand, "I want to help ease your pain. I want you to kn...Ow!" Usagi squealed, as Ran gripped her hand harshly. "Ran-chan you're hurting me!"
"Leave and never come back," he ordered in a cold monotone, pulling her to her feet. "Never ever come back,"
If he slapped her, she couldn't have looked more pained. "You don't mean that, Ran-chan." Usagi protested as he dragged her out, "You can't." Tears, slipped down her cheeks. "You're just hurting..."
Ran looked at her tear stained face. This would be the final time he would ever gazed upon her. Against his better judgment, he pulled her into his arms, and held her, let her silent sobs, seeped into his shirt. "Sumimasen, Usagi. Sumimasen." He whispered, letting her go, as he stepped back into the room. The broken expression on her face, was added to the rest of painful memories of tonight, as he closed the door. "Sayorona..."
It took all his willpower to not the door, and reach out.
End Flashback
Would have things been different, if he ask Usagi to stay with him? If he had let her help ease his pain?
Ran turned off his lamp. There was too many what if's. No use on looking back.
How he had wanted to ask her to stay...
He should have known that when Usagi, said 'Ja ne', she meant it. The petite blonde was becoming a regular, at the shop. Though carefully avoiding wedding arrangements, he noted, but always making sure that only he could help her with anything she needed. With Youji around, that was a slight problem
"These hyacinths, match your eyes, R...Aya-kun," Usagi, murmured softly, remembering what his friends called him. "You always had the prettiest eyes."
Ran glared, at his co-workers as Youji, tried not to choked on his cigarette. Omi and Ken wisely kept their thoughts to themselves. "Leave!" he ordered, guiding her out of the shop.
"But I have to pay for my flowers." Usagi, exclaimed clutching a flower pot, to her
chest.
"Why are you doing this to yourself?" he questioned. He could always feel her emotions. Why? How? He could never figure it out. He knew she hurting herself, reopening old wounds, by coming back. He wanted for her to let go and to know that their past together would stay in the past.
Here and now, nothing bonded them. Nothing held them together.
A lie, of course. He had, but to look into her eyes to know that.
"Because I'm a silly baka, who can't let go. I'm the girl who tried to move on, instead moved back to a man that I care for but don't love. Because, what we could have had, could have been beautiful..." Usagi, cried softly, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears, "because despite the years, Its been you that haunted my dreams. You that held my heart. Why do you still have it!"What could he say to that confession?...That she held his frozen heart in her tiny hand?
Standing on the tips of her shoes, she brushed her lips across his, "Ja ne," and left. Only glancing back once, unshed tears still visible from the distance.
She did. In her small hands, laid, what was left of his cold heart. But...
...The rules had been changed. It no longer matter who held, who's heart in their hands... They had their separate paths and lifes. It was better that it remind that way
All that was left of his youth were, dreams of what it could have been.
Ran quietly walked down the street, standing out in a crowd of business suits and senseless chattered. In the last days, the tiny blonde angel had popped into his thoughts when he least expected. More often then not, he wondered...He wondered what would have been if he had done everything differently? If he hadn't pushed Usagi, away? Would they still be together? Would he had joined Weiss? Would he... So many questions of what could have been...
"Are you Fujimiya Ran?" Someone questioned. He knew that voice. How could he forgot the voice that had only weeks ago demanded wedding flower arrangements with Usagi at his side.
He ignored Mamoru, and continue walking to Tokyo General.
"What does Usagi, mean to you?"
The question, wasn't something he had been expecting nor one he felt like explaining to the man. Mamoru, not knowing he was dealing with assassin, grabbed Ran's arm and refused to let go. "I want to know what Usako, means to you! I want to know the man I lost her to!" Mamoru, demanded.
Ran, pulled his arm away, before answering, coolly, "Nothing." and moved on.
Mamoru, stared after him. That red head, had more trouble than him expressing emotion, yet this Fujimiya Ran, had stolen Usagi, away. Baka, you lost her all by yourself. The least you could do is make sure she's happy "I don't believe you, Fujimiya-san." Mamoru, stated. "Don't lose your chance with her, like I did. You can still have her love...and if you are a better man than I was...you won't let what you have with her, end."
Usagi's engagement had been broken. Omi had read the announcement in the paper. The lack of a ring later confirmed, the story. Youji, had charmed a short version of the break up from Usagi. "He said, we're better off friends. Good friends. I agreed." and then the playboy promptly asked her out. She had turned him down, but offered a blind date with her best friend, Minako.
Thats how, he found himself at her small apartment flat, holding a small arrangement of lilacs and flowering jasmines in a crystalline vase, held by a velveteen rabbit. He felt like an idiot holding the stuff animal...No, he felt like an idiot standing outside Usagi's flat. He should have never asked Omi, to find Usagi's address. He should have let things remind as they were...
He wished that he hadn't rung the doorbell.
...But he was tired, of being alone, carrying this burden on his shoulders...He wanted someone who could make him happy, even if it was for a brief moment. He wanted the beautiful girl with sad eyes...the golden angel, who he had boldly kissed on the beach... the crying goddess, who willing went to his side in a time of pain...
He wanted Tsukino Usagi, for as long as the heavens allowed him to stay at her side.
Who knew how she would react?...Iie, he knew how she react...
"Hello..." Usagi, stopped in her tracks as she opened her door.
"Delivery. "
"Ran-chan, I didn't..."
"Read the card." he replied tonelessly, as Usagi, took the flowers. He, turn to leave, as Usagi's small hand pulled out the ivory card. Ran heard a small gasp escape, and nothing else. He, done, what he set out to do and let Usagi, know that he would like a second chance to see if they had a chance...
"Ran-chan!" Usagi skidded into the hallway, barely avoiding a head on collision with the wall in her excitement. The ivory card was clutched in her hand, as she stopped in front of him. Part of her was frighten, this was a cruel joke, hadn't it been from anyone else, she would suspect it so. Looking up, she saw, a bit of the warmth, that was so much a part of her memories, in his gaze.
It was no joke.
That much was clear, as she wrapped her arms around him, holding on tightly, a few tears escaping down her cheeks. Neither spoke, no words were needed, as they held each other. Neither knew what to expect in the days to come, just that they would somehow stumble through them together.
The ivory cord, slipped from Usagi's hand, to the ground.
It read...
I have always loved you
Fin