Not mine, all belongs to Sally. Just borrowing for enjoyment ;) Inspired by "Let Her Go" by Passenger

Janet generally hated clichés but now, she felt like words couldn't describe her feelings. She was so confused, let alone anything else. After sitting in the car for what felt like hours, Janet reluctantly got out and walked slowly back into the house and up to her room. She couldn't face her mum now. She couldn't face the questions. She lay down on her bed and just cried. More than she thought was possible. Huge sobs into her pillow, wishing that it was Rachel she was crying into but then remembering what had happened.

'You're miserable, Janet! And you're frustrated and you're jealous and you can't even see it!'

Janet had known that Rachel was just saying it, but it was completely true. She was jealous. She took a large swig of wine, finishing it off and staring at the bottom of the glass. She smiled sadly at herself. The glass was empty like the feeling in her heart.

Waking up a couple of hours later, it was still dark. Janet had dreamt about Rachel, about being in Central Manchester doing some shopping. They had been having a good time – laughing and trying on lots of different clothes – until Kevin appeared and Rachel had left Janet in the middle of the changing rooms with not even a goodbye. Thinking over it, Janet wished that her head wouldn't do things like that to her, hurt her even more when she was already in agony. She wished that, one day, she'd live the dream of being with Rachel again, either as a friend or something more. Not the one in the dream, the real Rachel. The one she could reach out and touch.

Fat chance of that happening, she thought to herself.

The morning briefing was agony for Janet, exhausted from lack of sleep and sitting next to the one person who she loved so deeply but despised so badly. She knew she should be listening to Gill, but she couldn't process anything. She knew she should be pissed off at Rachel, and she was a bit, but she was pissed off at herself for not seeing it coming. If she had done something when she wanted to, none of this would have happened. She started blaming herself for everything. For the fact that she had encouraged Rachel to marry Sean in the first place, for letting Rachel stay at hers while she was sorting out her feelings, for not spotting the looks that Rachel and Kevin were exchanging before she took Pete home.

When Gill asked her for information about the case, she spoke, but not with her usual enthusiasm. Usually she and Rachel would tell the story together, each filling in where the other forgot. This time, Rachel stayed silent next to her. Janet couldn't help herself making a snide comment about the possibility that Kenneth had picked up a woman and gone back to her place to sleep with her. It was blunt and obvious, she knew, but she was attacking as a defence.

Having a go at Rachel on the stairs, Janet said things she never thought she'd say to the one person who meant the world to her apart from her family. Rachel's face made Janet feel so guilty, but she needed Rachel to know that she'd majorly overstepped the line.

And then, he arrived. The first thing she knew of it was the dull thud of hand against chin. She rushed out of Gill's office behind Rachel, Gill and Rob to see Kevin being helped up off of the floor and Sean being restrained. This is not happening, she thought to herself. It's all a horrible nightmare.

More to come...