Jack and Jill:
Intro:
Although everybody expects them to be the best of friends and the closest siblings you've ever met, this is not so. It's all conspiracy. Mother Goose is a mindless zombie, she's controlled by the government! In fact she's not a goose at all, she's an idea, a figment of your imagination. She's corrupted the minds of many, taking them down from the inside. She sweetly sugar-coats reality of killers, mad-men, and violence. She does it all to slowly take over your mind, the smartest computer there is! (Don't forget to plug it in...but un-plug it so you can understand this story...please?). She starts when you are young, tearing away your mind like...like...a wolverine! To the point...
The Real Story of Jack and Jill:
As you all know, Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. Of coarse, that part of the story was true, but have you ever wondered what caused her to tumble after? Adults know, they don't tell you because it's not "G Rated". The hidden truth is that thousands of years ago, Jack and Jill were slaves. One day their master, a;klndg;adljg;ltkjp;latk, told them to fetch a pail of poison to terminate his bitter-sweet wife, Abagail (Abby for short). You see, Abagail (Abby for short) was getting on his last nerve. She had to go. So the children reluctantly went to the well of death to carry out their master's dastardly deed. He told them "whom ever shall return first, shall not be be-headed".
As Jack and Jill approached the well, Jill realized at this rate Jack would surely return first for the poisoning of Abagail (Abby for short) and she would be decapitated for not returning first for the poisoning of Abagail (Abby for short). So Jill had to act fast so that she could be first for the poisoning of Abagail (Abby for short). With one swift movement, she drew a butter knife. Now, usually, this was no threat. But Jill planned to stab him monotonously in the throat. So, his crown broke because his head fell off. DUH! IDIOTS! NOT ME, YOU! (back to the story). As for the tumbling part, Jill had to run to get back to the palace at which the poisoning of Abagail (Abby for short) would take place. She tripped over Jack's mangled body (pokemon-finatic is helping me with this story...) and tumbled down the hill.
She was late to the palace at which the poisoning of Abagail (Abby for short) would take place and was be-headed (despite her lethal efforts).
And they all lived happily ever after, except for Abagail (Abby for short), the king (who was sued by Abagail (Abby for short)'s parents), Jack, and Jill.
THE END!