That's Why
Jacob sat down heavily in a patch of ice, where the snow had hardened. His mind was betraying him, to the cruel mercies of Bella. He couldn't help remembering her, looking at him, fascinated with his knowledge of the legends on the beach-those accursed legends that were really true, after all; washing the plates in the kitchen, talking with him; her, broken, in the forest, after the bloodsuckers had vanished; looking dead and empty in the months that followed; coming to his house one lucky lucky day, asking him to fix motorcycles with her, well, for her really; smiling at him when he fixed the motorcycles; sad, when he said he could never see her again; blue, in the water, his fear of what if running amok in him; running from him towards the dwarf bloodsucker, leaving him without guilt nor hesitation to save HER bloodsucker, her Edward. And more, more painful ones too, but he stopped them from driving him crazy. And yet, the clearest memory was the worst, of them kissing, really kissing, she participating with as much eagerness as him. But now…Damn Edward to the pits of hell where he deserved to be, to play on Bella, making her forget him outside, in the cold, hearing every-but no, just to think it was torture. Damn him too for going after him, when SHE wanted him to. Damn her too for kissing him, for giving him enough hope, just enough, to pull him through this fucked-up now, then letting him fall back to the great abyss of darkness where he stayed forever more, locked by her love for that stupid, no-good, fucked-up bloodsucker.
And as for him, what did he matter, anyway? Just a shoulder to cry on when she was abandoned by Them, just a useless friend so much restrained by her love of that Bloodsucker, to not be able to make a move on her, not until it had become too much…still he wished he hadn't. He was going to fall back from his emotional high in a few more minutes' time.
He suddenly remembered a song, Charlie had played for him once, when he asked about Renee. Strangely, it worked for both mother and daughter.
Baby
want you tell me why there is sadness in your eyes
I don't wanna
say goodbye to you
Love is one big illusion I should try to
forget
But there is something left in my head
You're the
one who set it up
Now you're the one to make it stop
I'm the
one who's feeling lost right now
Now you want me to forget every
little thing you said
But there is something left in my head
I won't forget the way you're kissing
The feelings so strong were
lasting for so long
But I'm not the man your heart is missing
That's why you go away I know
You were never satisfied no
matter how I tried
Now you wanna say goodbye to me
Love is
one big illusion I should try to forget
But there is something
left in my head
I won't forget the way you're kissing
The
feelings so strong were lasting for so long
But I'm not the man
your heart is missing
That's why you go away I know
Sitting
here all alone in the middle of nowhere
Don't know which way to
go
There is so much to say now between us
There ain't so much
for you
There ain't so much for me anymore
I
won't forget the way you're kissing
The feelings so strong were
lasting for so long
But I'm not the man your heart is missing
That's why you go away I know
Sighing, he walked toward the war, with a catch…
He knew he was going to come back.
Song By Michael Learns To Rock