The Nativity Wrecked
*Opens with Mary sitting beside the manger tending to 'baby Jesus'. A wise person boy/girl is seen in the corner looking (very noticeably) for something in the sky. In the other corner, an angel is seen pouting and groaning. And lastly, an animal is seen doing all kinds of embarrassing dances and stuff on a leash by the manger.*
Wise person: Hark! I am seeing a bright star. Obviously that means that baby Jesus is born and I should follow it to bring him gifts and an angel will come and I will be scared and...
Camel: Your ruining the story! Oh wait. Now I am. I'm not supposed to talk! You see, I'm a camel! Check me nice humps. *turns around and shows off humps*
Angel: Y'all are both ruining this play. It's disrespectful to God. Just get on with it so I can go lock myself in my room.
Wise person: I guess it would be wise to do that.
Mary: Aren't you supposed to be a shepherd? The angel visits the shepherd.
Wise person: Yeah, but the wise person got sick so I'm taking on both rolls. That's why I'm in a field with sheep, and wearing jewels.
Mary: You should have told us so we can get a fill-in who doesn't make so many puns off of the word 'wise'. Whatever. Just go on.
Angel: Thank you. *Walks over to the wise person. Starts using monotone that wil continue throughout the whole play* I am an angel and I am sent from God and you shall go see the newborn king and...well...you know the story. My work here is done.
*Mary remains annoyed, but ignoring it all.*
Camel: Hey Mary, can I go on a break? My stomach is growling. I don't know if it's a hungry way, or the bad way.
Mary: We went over this. You can't go off stage during the play.
Camel: Right. Can I just nibble on this grass here?
Mary: Your not a real camel. Your body can't process it. We've been over this as well.
Camel: I was just making it believable that I'm a camel. And a good looking one. *sorta flirts with the audience*
Mary: oh boy.
Angel: *off key and monotonous* ah la la la! Follow the star! You'll find Jesus!
Wise person: Ok. I think I get it.
Angel: Good, cuz you weren't getting any more out of me.
Wise person: I think it would be wise if I just start traveling for three years.
Angel: Sure. Go on. I've got to go sit on top of the star that hurts my you-know-where so don't be complaining about traveling for three years when I get poked for three years.
Wise person: Uh...three years in a play really means like ten seconds you know. Goodbye? And I'm walking and walking and OH NO. I need gifts! Where did you put them backstage when you were messing with them, Camel?
Camel: Oh! On the counter!
*runs backstage to retrieve gifts. Struggles with holding them.*
Wise person: Got them! They're a bit heavy. Oh well! I better just keep going along with my journey! Traveling. Walking. And I'm here!
Angel: (off key) Hark the herald angels sing, glory to the new born king.
Mary: Ok angel. We're good. You might disturb baby Jesus.
Wise person: Ooh. Sorry, but Jesus was three when I got here. So...
Angel: Well you try to wrestle some kid around that age into sitting still and staying quite.
Wise person: I believe that camel would like to.
Camel: Fun cast bonding time! Come on wisey!
Wise person: Yeah. This is unwise.
*They rush around a tiny kid trying to get them to come back with them*
Wise person: Babydoll it is! I present Frankincense, Gold, and *said as a joke due to another Bible character's name that is a running joke* Nrr!
Mary: You mean Frankincense, Gold, And Myrrh.
Wise person: I know it was unwise, but I couldn't resist!
Angel: Just bow down to Jesus already!
Camel: By the way, where's Joseph?
Mary: we went over this, he is tending to the animals.
Camel: But I need to be tended to and he's not tending to me. You see? Because I'm an animal?
Angel: Your not supposed to talk. If I had real powers, I would use them to put a lock on your mouth that only I could open. P.S., I would never open it.
Camel: Well...I'm gonna stick my tongue out at you!
Angel: Not if I do first! *sticks tongue out immaturely* AND, bang you with my harp!
Mary: The audience is probably hating this. We need to wrap it up like the cheep Christmas presents we still need to wrap and just go celebrate Christmas with our families. I don't know why we even tried in the first place.
Wise person: If your wise, you will go home and just read the story.
Camel: I don't know how it can get better than this though!
Angel: I can't wait to get away from you guys. It was awful having to work together to prepare this play.
Camel: Hi mom! Hi dad! I love you!
*Angel pretends to wack the camel with their harp*
Mary: I'm not even gonna say anything.
Camel: Alright, this sweaty costume comes off!
Others: No!
*Camel strips those clothes and has a super sparkly top under it and starts dancing. They all shrug and start bows.*
A/N
Hey! So I'm finally putting something up! It's my Christmas play I wrote for my cousins, sister, and I to do! I will give y'all character description and details in the following chapters! I just needed to do something and I thought, why not change it up? Yay! I hope y'all enjoyed this! Maybe I'll even put up some more plays I wrote for my cousins, sister, and I to do! I sorta like writing plays and preforming them! It's traditional! Reviews are very much appreciated. Thanks for reading!