Feed – chapter one

Title: Feed – Chapter One

Word Count:

Rating:

Fandom/Pairing: slash starring

Disclaimers/Warnings:

Author Notes: Um, none I guess. Other than comments being highly appreciated and most welcome.

Summary:

Feed.

That's the title of the email Alec receives early on a Tuesday morning. There's no subject line or body content. Just a one-word title. Feed. Normally Alec would ignore something like that. What else could it be but spam? The problem is it was sent to the address even his team doesn't know about and he's nothing if not paranoid. Plus the word seems so ominous. So he opens it.

Eliot Spencer lay on a bed in a blank room. White walls, white floor, no windows, no desk. Nothing is in the room but a hospital bed and the hitter laying on top of it. Asleep from the looks of it, but experience has told him that looks are usually deceiving. The camera films up close on the man's face, showing a grimace of pain, of fear. Alec immediately calls Nate, but not before catching a quick sound. A whimper. At the exact moment that Nate answers his cell Alec realizes Eliot is dreaming.

"Get the girls and meet me in the conference room. Now," Alec spits out then hangs up. He considers shutting down the email. Only the feed will still be running, and Eliot will still be dreaming.

Everyone gathers in the conference room five minutes later, sitting around the table, waiting for Alec to begin so he does.

"I opened up an email a little bit ago and found this." He projects the feed onto the large screen in front of them.

"Is that...?" Sophie starts, stops, starts again. "Is that Eliot?"

"Where is he?" Nate wonders out loud.

Alec takes a breath to answer both questions. "Yes, it is. And I don't know where he is yet but he's in trouble. I think he's drugged, and I think he's dreaming."

"That's not good," Nate says, stating the obvious. "Anything look familiar?" Alec sees his eyes roaming, searching for some clue in the room's surroundings that will tell him where Eliot's being held.

"There's nothing in the room but him and the bed, Nate. And I haven't been able to trace the feed yet."

Nate turns to him. "You mean you haven't figured out-?"

Alec interrupts him. "I mean the feed is so far buried underground it's about 20 miles deep in the Earth. It's in some encrypted code I've never seen before and so far I haven't been able to crack it. Every time I get close it changes."

"Changes? Can a code do that?" Parker asks.

"If you're a good hacker you can build any kind of code. If you're good. But this? Even I can't do this and I'm one of the best. It's like...music or something. It's constantly moving, dancing, or whatever the hell it's doing. And just when I think I got a handle on it, it's something else."

"It evolves." Sophie gets it in that instant.

"Exactly. Like the human brain. Only without limits," Alec adds. He doesn't want to but it's necessary in order for them to truly understand just how bad things are.

"He's not just dreaming," Nate points out, facing the screen again. "He's having a nightmare."

They all watch more closely, noticing for the first time what Alec suspected all along. The camera is zoomed close enough on Eliot's face to see rapid eye movement under his eyelids. His hands, despite wrist restraints, are extended, fingers stiff and slightly curled like claws. The man's body is arched while his mouth opens in an animalistic scream. The prolonged sound is so high in pitch their ear drums ache for a full minute. Alec's throat seizes as nausea rises. He didn't know anyone could sound so scared. It takes Nate a second to gather his composure, to turn off the feed on Alec's laptop. The scream still echoes off the walls though. Sophie looks over at Nate with haunted eyes. Parker has her hands over her ears. Alec exhales shakily.

Nate clears his throat and tries not to show any fear of his own. "Let's get to work."

Alec stays up for hours trying to lock down a keyword to break the code of Eliot's feed. He has three computers running simultaneously every minute for two days straight. A fourth computer lets the feed run so he can check on him to see how he's doing. It's a tortuous job, one he'd rather not have, but he can't not watch it. It's an obligation, bearing witness to the man's suffering. He wonders what Eliot sees. Is he hallucinating or remembering? Is there any respite or is the fear always there? His fingers itch to grab him right out of the feed and hold him close until all the terror is gone. The thing is, Eliot lying in that bed all alone and in pain gives him the determination he needs to keep going.

"Anything yet?" Nate questions without preamble when he picks up his ringing cell.

"Getting closer, I think, but still not...Nate, I...I think he's having night terrors. It looks like he's stuck in them. Or maybe just one that keeps looping over and over, but his body..." Alec shudders.

"Yeah, I thought that too. But we need a physical location, Hardison, or we can't get him back."

Alec sighs. "I know, I know. I'm working on it. Soon as I got something I'll let you know.

"Good. I have a few calls to make so update me as soon as you've made any progress."

"Calls to who?" Alec blurts out. He's too exhausted not to wonder what Nate has up his sleeve.

"People who might be able to help." The answer is cryptic as usual. But somehow it makes Alec feel better.

"Sophie, you have anything?" Nate queries when they meet back in the conference room. It's been four days since Alec was sent the email and he's only slept a few hours out of each. But as soon as Sophie smiles he becomes alert.

"A friend once told me that if you were going to kidnap someone without being caught, D.C. was the place to do hold them."

Parker's eyes narrowed almost as if she were offended. "But D.C. has the most security of any other state in the U.S.!"

Nate smiled back at Sophie. "I should've known. It's all about politics."

"Makes sense," Alec says, typing furiously on his keyboard. "President maybe?" The word doesn't unlock the code. "Barack? Obama?"

"Try P.O.T.U.S.," Nate smirks, shaking his head.

"Got it!" Alec shouts, showing a grid of D.C.'s underground sewer lines. A red dot glows in the center. They all stare at the dot, transfixed. Alec's angry with himself for not catching it sooner. He'd been so busy thinking outside the box that he'd forgotten the golden rule. Sometimes the easiest cons to run are the ones simplest to execute. Sophie exhales in relief as she grabs her coat and purse and walks out. Parker claps happily, following her.

Just as Alec shuts his laptop Nate puts a hand on his arm. "This won't be easy, Hardison. Who knows what they've given him to keep him like this. There could be long-term effects. Not just physical ones."

"He'll be fine."

"Hardison..."

"I'll make sure of it." The words surprise them both. Alec hadn't meant to say them, hadn't even realized he was thinking them. Nate eyes him with a new appreciation, reading more into Alec's expression than he himself is aware of.

He doesn't hesitate when he says, "Then let's go get your man." Alec, for some reason, doesn't feel the need to contradict him.

"Hey, can I get some help here?" Sophie calls in a nasal, exaggerated drawl. Alec thinks she's going for a North Carolina or Georgia accent but it sounds a little off. Then she sniffs and wipes at her nose. "Hey, hello?"

She's standing at the front desk of the corporate office for Anthem Blue Cross/Blue Shield. The security guard is looking up at her as if he'd rather not deal with her at all, especially when she coughs loudly, but it's his job.

"Yes, ma'am. How may I help you?"

"Yeah, I was looking for a Mr. Anderson? Richard Anderson. He's supposed to be handling a claim for me for my husband's surgery next month but he's saying they won't pay. I mean it's heart surgery, you know, and if he doesn't get it he'll die. You hear that? Die!"

Alec tunes her out after that. Instead he watches her on the monitor in the guard station on the floor below them, having already sneaked his way into the building with Parker. When he sees the guard get up from his chair to walk around his desk he nods at her. She grins devilishly and slips out of the room. He has no idea what exactly she'll do to get the pass card that Sophie somehow stole from the guard but it will probably be too quick for him to notice anyway. He concentrates on searching the database for underground passages and rooms. He tells Nate to do his part as soon as he finds the one he's looking for.

"Excuse me," Nate calls as soon as he walks into the suite. Sophie is standing in front of the guard, waving her arms and crying hysterically about her husband's bad heart when he rushes over. "Damnit, Marlene, didn't I tell you not to do this? We'll find another way!" He apologizes and takes her from the guard. "I'm so sorry, sir. Really. I tried to get her not to come here but she's stubborn as a mule. Takes after her mother like that...Come on, darlin', let's get you home."

Parker comes around the corner as he starts to lead her out. "Oh, I'm so sorry," she says, bumping into Sophie. The passing of the card happens before Nate can even tell her it's alright.

"Crazy people huh? You feel sorry for them but at the same time it's like you wanna run in the other direction." She commiserates, pointing at Nate and Sophie. "Anyway, I'm new here and I was hoping you could show me where Rick Anderson's office is." The guard stares at her black pencil skirt and white button down blouse. She looks like any other employee, yet one he doesn't recognize. Before he can consult his clipboard or the computer she places a hand on his forearm. "I'm already running late and I don't want to get fired on my first day...," she looks at his name tag, "Gary. Please? Help a fellow employee out?" She runs an index finger down the exposed skin on his arm just as Sophie taught her.

"Sure." Gary, the guard, smiles back. He straightens his back a little and starts to move toward the elevators 10 feet away from the desk.

"I found the room," Alec whispers into his mic. "No one's around but I'm not sure if anyone's in there with Eliot."

"Parker's on her way," Nate says. "If there's trouble she can distract it while you grab him."

Which, it turns out, is easier said than done. The room where Eliot's being kept is indeed free of 'trouble' but when Parker unbuckles the wrist and ankle restraints she can see cuts and burns from his attempts to escape. She closes her eyes and breathes in deep. Alec eyes the various tubes and monitors hooked up to the man warily. He recognizes morphine on a bag being given intravenously but there are a couple others drugs he's never heard of before. He's not sure that just unhooking Eliot is such a good idea.

"He's free," Parker remarks quietly. They both stare down at Eliot's body, scared of doing anything else. "Should we...?" She waves a hand to indicate the hospital lines.

"Nate?" Alec calls. He hopes he doesn't come across half as hesitant as he thinks he does.

"Do it."

Alec works gently but swiftly. They don't have much time before the monitors will start beeping. He and Parker each grab the unconscious man around the shoulders and waist, dragging him out of the room as quietly as they can.

"We'll need help getting out of here," Alec says.

"Parker?"

The woman gets this crazy look on her face and actually, Alec can't believe it, but she actually laughs. He only has a second to wonder why when suddenly something shifts in the air and he and Eliot are flying toward a window at the end of the corridor. He shouts Parker's name just as they blow through it. Next things he knows the three of them are dangling outside the window. Luckily the entrance to the sewer is only a slight drop down. Parker cuts the rope without notice. Alec's instinct kicks in and he holds Eliot tight against him. When they hit the ground he doesn't let the man fall. Eliot, still lost in his own head, makes no sound.

"I'ma kill you, Parker. Soon as we get out of here I'ma...I don't even know but I'll think of something..."

"You're welcome," she chirps, grinning as she unhooks them all from her repelling gear. Alec runs a hand down his own chest, then down Eliot's, checking to see if they're both still breathing.

"You are seriously disturbed!" He shakes his head and tries to calm down.

"You guys okay?" Nate's voice is slightly anxious over the comm.

"Yeah. Just having a heart attack but that's nothing that a stiff drink won't cure," Alec murmurs, forgetting who he's talking to.

"Well, I do own a bar...Now get outside. We'll meet you around the corner."

A day later they're back home with Eliot in tow. He's going through withdrawal from the morphine and a couple anti-psychotics. He's lethargic, almost catatonic, when he's awake but when he's asleep he still tenses up and he still screams. He also trembles no matter how many blankets they wrap around him. Sophie gives him tea to drink and Parker tells him jokes that only she gets the punchlines to. Nate hovers helplessly. But Alec sticks close to him. It seems to help them both. No one mentions the hallucinations.

"Green," Eliot whimpers one night. "Sea. Green sea. Sea...green...Green!"

It's Alec's turn to watch him so he's sitting on the sofa in the living room. When he hears Eliot's voice he jumps up, rushing to his side.

"Talk to me, El. What's going on?" He reaches out slowly, deliberately, in case Eliot is still dreaming. But he isn't. His eyes are wide open and miserable. What used to be blue is now dark, bruised. As if his irises have been permanently damaged.

"Monster!" Eliot huffs, exhaling harshly. "Bad!" He's looking through Alec, not seeing him at all.

Alec blinks. "Okay..." He looks over his shoulder. The doorway remains clear. "Okay," he says more confidently. "Well, I won't let him get you, El. I'm right here. You see me, El? I got you and I won't let that bad monster hurt you anymore. I promise." When Eliot grabs his hands and pulls him into his body he goes willingly. He's used to Eliot's strength by now, but letting him near is new. "It's okay, El. I got you now. You're safe." He talks softly to the frightened child inside Eliot, hoping it hears him. He has no idea what Eliot sees, what he saw in that torture chamber, but it couldn't have been anything normal to revert the hitter to a horrified little boy.

Alec hugs him, tucking his face into his neck, and hums a lullaby his Nana taught him. He doesn't know what else to do. Eliot is going through detoxification judging by the chemical-smelling sweat he keep exuding and the discolored vomit from right after they arrived home. The worst is how much he's still dissociated. Sleeping or awake he's still there in that other world and it worries Alec. What if he can't get out?

Suddenly Eliot blinks. "Green eyes. Eerie, like a monster. Coming at me. Don't like hands coming at me when I can't see them. Big hands. Bad hands." It's the most coherent he's sounded since they found him. "Bad green eyes. Sea green." Alec narrows his eyes. "Bad," he repeats.

"El? You with me?"

A throat clears but the voice that answers is gravelly anyway. "How long I been like this?"

"El?"

"How long?" he demands.

This is more like the hitter he knows so he responds with, "About five days that we know about. Maybe longer." Eliot shifts in his arms. He's amazed the man hasn't squirmed out of them yet.

"I feel like shit."

"Yeah, well, morphine, Fluphenazine and Clozapine can do that to ya." He's not supposed to be mad at Eliot. He isn't. But the adrenalin flying through him on and off for the past 5 days has gotten to him. "What happened to you?"

"Coffee. I remember going out to the diner down the street. Started drinking and then, nothing. Someone must've put something in the coffee." He shifts again. "You can let go now, Hardison." He lifts his head to peer into Alec's eyes.

"...Uh, I don't know if I should..." Eliot quirks an eyebrow. "You keep having night terrors. They get really bad. Even in the daytime. Soon as you fall asleep..."

Eliot frowns. Alec can tell this news isn't sitting well with him. To hear that he's out of control at any time isn't who he is, but to hear it's worse when he sleeps? To know that they've been watching him sleep? Eliot shifts some more.

"Have I hurt anyone?"

"No. But..."

This time Eliot groans. "But?"

"You, uh, move around a lot. And your body contorts a lot. And you, uh, scream. A lot."

"No wonder I feel like I lost a bad fight." Eliot drops his head back unself-consciously against Alec's shoulder. "That also explains why my throat's so sore."

Alec's eyes zero in on said throat, on the width of it, the tanned length of it. He never thought about it before but it's a nice-looking throat, and one he really has no right to be staring at. Especially when Eliot's awake and aware for the first time in what seems like forever. And yet suddenly that spot right under his chin begs for attention. Kisses, licks, sucking bites. He lets go of Eliot without warning, making the weakened man fall backward on the bed.

"Sorry! Shit, sorry! You okay?" He asks, hurrying to right him when Eliot grunts and tries to sit up on his own. "I'm sorry, El!"

"One of these days I'm gonna kill you, Hardison. Seriously. Just take you out before you even know what hits you."

Alec can't help smiling. Things aren't over yet. He knows that. But he also knows Eliot's coming back to him, to them, and that's all that matters.

It takes Eliot 12 more days to recover. At least for his body to recover. The night terrors still hit him when he sleeps, but only occasionally now, and they've found that Alec's humming calms him down. He's embarrassed to need so much from them and complains loudly when Nate helps him get dressed in the mornings. Sophie shaves him since his hands shake a little too much to effectively hold a razor and Parker still keeps trying to tell him jokes. He finds himself laughing at them anyway because of how animated Parker gets when she tells them since they're not really funny. They don't make any sense at all. But it's Parker. And Nate smiles tenderly at him whenever he finishes a whole meal and is able to keep it down. He loses 10 pounds, most of it muscle during that time. Alec, having researched his background when they first became a team, knows that it reminds him of when he was a P.O.W over in Afganistan. The look in his eyes tells the story of how bad it gets sometimes. That he hates how weak he is. He smiles and shrugs at the hitter. No one knows what to do.

After a month of steady improvement Eliot calls himself cured and kicks them all out of his apartment. He's back to his old self for the most part and working out to catch up on the strength that's still lacking. They all nod and leave, reminding him that they're only a phone call away if he needs them. Alec doesn't say a word, but when he goes he gives Eliot's hand a squeeze. Neither of them expect the touch so Alec pulls back, grinning easily as he walks out. If Eliot notices him carefully putting that hand in his jeans pocket he doesn't mention it.

"Can you...Can you come over?" Eliot pleads breathily later that night.

It's after dark. A little after 7 pm. Alec's just fallen asleep when he hears loud ringing. Grabbing at his phone to shut it up, he opens it to hear that little boy voice again. "El?"

"Sea green eyes and big hands, Hardison. I can't sleep for seein' 'em!"

"On my way."

He doesn't question it. Just hangs up the phone and sits up. He throws some clothes on and lifts his keys off the stand by his bed. Within 5 minutes he's let himself into Eliot's apartment and called him from the living room. Eliot doesn't respond so he heads to the bedroom, saying his name cautiously along the way. When he finds the man curled up in a corner facing the doorway he has to catch his breath. He never imagined Eliot could become so small. His heart goes out to him.

"El? It's Hardison. I'm here, man. I'm right here."

Alec steps slowly toward him, his hands hanging loosely at his sides so he won't scare him. He talks with each step, letting him know what he's doing. Eliot raises his head. His eyes are red and puffy from crying, something Alec's never seen before. His own eyes grow watery at the sight as he reaches out. For a minute he thinks maybe Eliot won't move, bu then he lurches up into Alec's waiting embrace, shivering, sweating.

"I couldn't make it stop. I couldn't-...It wouldn't stop!" he whispers into Alec's shoulder.

"What wouldn't stop?"

"The hands! The hands kept grabbing me, twisting and tearing and I couldn't get away. And then when I tried to look up the eyes were looking right through me and I kept moving forward and I couldn't...I woke up and I remembered what they were doing!"

Alec's eyelids fall closed. He rubs Eliot's back soothingly. He has no idea how else to comfort the man. "I'm so sorry, El. But I'm here, baby. I'm here." Neither catch the endearment he lets slips past.

Eliot's hands wipe at the tears tracking his cheeks. "I don't know if I can do this anymore," he admits.

"I know."

"I thought I could handle anything. But this? I can't sleep most times and the few times I do I wake up screaming. All I usually remembered was the eyes and the hands but tonight I could actually feel my arms being ripped away from my body. Hardison? I could feel it!"

Eliot abruptly stands, shoving Alec out of the way while he runs to the bathroom. Alec hears him heaving soon after. When he comes back out of the bathroom 15 minutes have passed. He's shaking and pale, holding onto the frame for support. Alec rushes over, giving him something else to lean against. He leads him back to his bed and sits him down gingerly.

"Think you can stay upright while I go get something to clean you off?" His hands hold onto Eliot's shoulders tightly, afraid to let go.

Eliot puts both of his own hands down on the bed to support himself. "Yeah. Just...don't take long?"

Alec smiles softly. "Man, I ever tell you about the time I was 10? Nana caught me and another kid stealing mail boxes?" He walks into the bathroom and grabs a towel off the rack. "Not mail out of the boxes? The boxes themselves. I thought it was a stupid idea but Russell? That was the other kid." He runs water over a corner and adds some soap, then wets the other end of the towel. "He says he likes the boxes themselves. And I was bored. And a kid, right? So I say, okay, let me be your point man. I'll plan everything." He comes back out of the bathroom to find Eliot laying down, sinking into the mattress heavily, breathing shallowly. "Like I said," he continues more softly, washing Eliot's face as gently as he can, "I was a kid so I wasn't the best planner and we got caught." He chuckles, washing Eliot's neck and chest and trying not to think inappropriate thoughts. "When Nan found out she coulda killed us. There we were standing on the porch being held by the shirt collar by some 5 foot 2 inch mother of three who started cussing her out as soon as she opened the door."

Eliot's breath evens out. Alec stops talking and sits there, watching. He wonders if Eliot will ever be the same. If he'll ever smile and smirk and push the way he used. If he'll ever fight again or run again or just be him again. The Eliot Alec needed in his life whether he wanted to admit to it or not.