Some may wonder, why are you dubbed the untraceable munk, or what's the meaning behind it. Heh, if you only knew the wounds I've suffered throughout life. If anything all I've ever learned is that life alone can be very cruel. I know there are people out there that love and care about me, but in a way in your own mind you get that essence that all you are is nothing more than a burden or a mere ghost in their life. Your intentions may be good and kind but through the eyes of others, all they want is to manipulate and walk all over you and just leave you in the dust.
Back in the old days, when I was a wee baby untraceable munk, all I suffered throughout elementary, middle and even high school was constant suffering and bullying. With each and every day that I would go to school, all I was merely used for was a tool, and even so I would still get walked over like a rug. Even when I was merely happy in life, others in that same school would always come and just ruin that happiness as if the light in my life was just merely covered by complete darkness. You even feel that at times your own body becomes nothing more than your own line of defense against those that just want to fight you yet all you do is just endure the pain, the suffering, the torture in life. My own scars, both emotional and physical, to this day still haunts me. Why you may ask? In a way it may be nice to have such good friends that may always love and care about you but in the long run…they may come back and just walk over you and toss you like a mere toy.
You get that feeling that all the cruel, greedy, manipulative people in the world just want to mess with your mind and make you their puppet. Your wounds become harder and harder to conceal and at times just comes back to haunt you. Over time you feel that kind benevolent heart transform into a dark mere cold heart with all the pain you do and yet you continue to try your best to at least make those that are happy in life happier. To some they may say that, "I'll always be there for you and stand by you." Yet when it comes to that time of need, no one was actually there for me. You would at times cross that line into the dark cruel side of your heart and do whatever it takes just to merely make your own friends and family proud of you and just hide the pain away and just smile. Yet the more you try to hide away the pain, the more you feel like a mere monster that all it wants to do is just destroy. Almost as if two side of your mind is always in a flight over your own emotions.
Even as time passed on all I've ever done was endure the cruel, ungrateful words said by others and even been cut and punched at throughout my own life and even till today the marks remain on my own body. Those that I thought that can help me and overcome this problem only just aided the ones that did all these cruel marks to me. Over time my own downfall may of only made me weaker and weaker yet all you merely wanted to do was just share the happiness that you have with others but even as hard as you try, you find that others will always be there to try and destroy it. What I also even learned is that even what was once your closest friends can easily become your own nightmare.
Your own family at times may have that high expectation for you to just be successful in life but even so you may feel like you haven't push yourself hard enough to meet your parents expectations. Sure they may make you feel like your wildest dreams come true with each expectation you meet with them but even so you feel as if you aren't happy in life. Even when the world is completely against you, you even feel that at some point in your life that your own family will just leave you abandoned in the world. With the more the world and everyone in it goes against you and just hurts you so much the more it becomes harder to trust others. Almost as if with each scar added to your own emotions or even your own body, you become trapped in a cocoon about to be suffocated as if they just want you gone from the world.
Your own thoughts become nothing more than a mere shadow of your mind. That all it wants to do is just damage your own life. The cruel words and abuse of others just distorts your own soul and even casts you as if you were some type of creature from beyond the grave. You feel that the only safe haven you might have is nothing more than your own room and even so you feel as if it is also your own prison.
With all these scars and wounds in your life you feel that you don't want others to carry your own burden even if something was to happen to you. You start to feel that you must conceal yourself from the world only to be cast as a shadow. Even so, you feel as if you must conceal your own true identity from the world and hide your own real name because you feel as if your own burden will just haunt them for the rest of their life when all you want is for them to live normal happy lives. For that reason you try your best to just remain hidden in life yet try your best to make those you dearly love and care about happy in life as if you were an angel just watching over them without them knowing about your life, your wounds, your pain. You even get over the wounds that they even created in your life by forgiving and forgetting and standing by them no matter how far away they push you. Even as the dark day comes that something happens to you that just makes you disappear off this planet. You feel that you want those you dearly care about to live their life peacefully and not worry about you. After all only you can fight your own battles in life. No matter how rogue life may be against you…you merely try your best to remain the kind benevolent person that is willing to fight till the end while watching them as a mere shadow in their life. That's why I chose to remain in the shadows of the world and in the life of those that I dearly care about, as the untraceable munk.