It all started while Bowser was walking down the street in a green pimp hat and slick black shades, waving around a pimp staff that carried a mutilated goomba and smoking blunts like a straight fucking G. The brick walls next to him morphed into wallpaper that had images of decapitated kitten faces with their skin peeled back, revealing their organs. Don't ask me why because I don't fucking have all the answers. Bowser had 2 fine ass big-tittied she-Bowsers by his side, they were obese and ugly as shit but for she-Bowsers they were fucking sexy. Suddenly a Spanish man ran up to Bowser with a sack full of coke and started hitting him with it, tearing the bag and getting cocaine fucking everywhere. So much coke spilled out of the bag that it filled the streets and killed everyone. Everyone in this fucking town was a fucking cokehead anyway so they enjoyed it. Suddenly Bowser woke up in the hospital with a headache.

"Rarthgagamanduuuuuuuuga…"

That's dinosaur turtle dragon for "Where the fuck am I?"

His nurse was a fucking flamingo with half a face. She sat down on Bowser's chest and laid a fucking egg that broke open revealing a needle full of fucking pure ass grade A Columbian heroin (the really good shit). She picked it up and jammed it in his fucking eye.

"Grumbalamandooga! (What the fuck you crazy bitch!)"

"Relax honey, it's just a little downer to take the pain away." She whispered sensually into his ear. Bowser got a huge fucking boner that broke through the ceiling and suddenly Mario appeared out of fucking nowhere wearing a clean fucking Italian leather jacket (with cool fucking sunglasses of course) and started climbing down Bowser's herpes-encrusted dinosaur dick like he was Jack on the fucking beanstock. He took off his belt and used it to choke out the flamingo bitch as he fucked her up the ass and started asking Bowser about his fucking hooker.

"You got my fucking hooker man?" he grunted between thrusts in a thick Italian accent. "Peach aint on your turf dawg, that's my bitch."

"Gruntlegasma— (What the fuck are you-)"

"You know what?" Mario asked, throwing the flamingo bitch to the ground like she was a fucking sack of potatoes, "Fuck it, you can keep her. She aint' turnin' in profit like she used to. Here, this is her favorite brand, it'll keep her loyal." He said, throwing a pack of fucking Camel Lights onto Bowser's chest.

Mario tried jumping back on Bowser's dick to climb it but that shit was chubbed the fuck out.

"I'll take the back door." He said, jumping out of the room's window as he threw a bunch of coke into the air and began sporadically snorting it with a purple straw. YEAH THAT SHIT WAS FUCKING PURPLE.

"Graola (Graola)."

Yeah, Bowser was craving a healthy and organic fucking snack. He's a fucking ghetto ass vegetarian who doesn't take shit from anyone, ESPECIALLY from coked out fucking plumber pimps.

Bowser realized he had never smoked before and reached for his crackpipe lighter. He took a cigarette out of the already open pack and began to inhale. Turns out his organs were allergic to tobacco and he got fucking allergy cancer and died.

The End.