Spoot: Who knows when I'll ever get to post this…
Butt-head: Try it now…
Spoot: Oh no…not you guys…
Sloppy Joe Day
School was gunna suck today. This was the attitude Bevis woke up with that morning. He sat up slowly and looked around the room. His first thought, was why he was on the floor. The second thing to cross his mind was what had happened to the room, it was a mess. He looked over at the sofa, there was his lifelong friend, Butt-head, fast asleep, a slice of pizza stuck to the side of his face. That's when it hit him. "Oh yeah…" He mumbled, recalling the events from the night before. Involving 20 dollars and that one guy Todd.
Bevis reached over, and pulled the pizza off Butt-Head's face, making the boy sit up. "I was eating that…" He snapped. Bevis began to chuckle. "Give it back…" Butt-head warned. Bevis smiled and opened his mouth, and began to bring the slice slowly to his mouth. Butt-head became irritated and reached right over and slapped Bevis clean across the face. The poor boy hollered out, and dropped the pizza. "Wha'was that for?" He asked, rubbing his cheek. Butt-head was reaching for his slice of pizza. "Do I need a reason?" He asked. Bevis looked up at him. "Oh yeah." He mumbled.
"So…schools gunna suck today." Butt-head mumbled as he tried to chew the stale slice. Bevis got to his feet. "Let's not go….and say we did." Butt-head finished. "See…" Bevis began, as he searched for something to eat. "This is why you're the leader." He found a half a cup of soda, and began to sip at it. "Yeah…and you're stupid." Butt-head snapped, as he began to chuckle. "Yeah, I'm not very smart." Bevis agreed. A thought popped into his head though. He really wasn't that smart, and school was where smart people went…
As Bevis tried to put two and two together, Butt-head had one of his famous light bulbs. "Hey, I got it!" He snapped. Bevis was mumbling to himself, he looked over at his friend, and chuckled. "Smart people go to school…and they're smart…" Bevis nodded. "You ever wonder why that is…" Butt-head asked. Bevis nodded. Butt-head's eye twitched. He reached out and slapped Bevis. "Because they're smart. Dumb ass…if you go to school, you'll be smart…you know what that means?" Bevis shook his head. "Smart people have money." Butt-head concluded, slapping Bevis once more. The boy yelled out, then began to chuckle. "Oh yeah, cool…I'll just become smart…and get money for it!"
"Today is sloppy Joe day…" Bevis looked up at the small speaker box above his desk, and then looked over at Butt-head, who was chuckling to himself, as he watched the sex Ed teacher put a condom on a banana. "Hey Butt-head…Hey…its sloppy Joe day…Hey…Butt-head…Hey!" The other boy stopped laughing, and looked over at his friend. "Sloppy Joe day…" Bevis said again. Butt-head's eyes went wide. "Cool." He mumbled. He turned back to the banana for a moment, until something popped into his head. He turned back to Bevis. "How did you know?"
"Know what?" Bevis asked
"What?" Butt-head asked.
"What." Bevis repeated, then the two of them began to chuckle.
The cafeteria was full of kids of all ages…and that one guy Todd. Our two boys stepped into the building, and looked around, as they chuckled to themselves. "Let's go get some sloppy Joes…I'm starving." Bevis mumbled. "Yeah." Butt-head agreed, and the two began their journey to the lunch line, only to get pushed around by some football players, and popular kids. "Man, this sucks!" Bevis snapped. Butt-head looked over at him. "We're never gunna get sloppy Joes! NEVER!" He snapped. "Whoa…" Butt-head mumbled. "Everybody always pushes us around! We never score, we never have money…and now…we don't have sloppy Joes!" Butt-head's eyes went wide.
Some of the students had begun to look their way. "I'm sick of this…this sucks…you suck!" Bevis snapped, pointing at a football player, who looked ready to pound on him. "YOU! You suck!" Bevis snapped again, pointing at another student. "AND YOU! AND YOU! YOU ALL SUCK!" He hollered, pointing at anyone he could. "I WANT SLOPPY JOES! AND…AND NACHOS! AND…AND A CHAINSAW…" He was shaking, and sweating at this point. "Hey, Bevis, calm down…" Butt-head started, as he placed a hand on his irate friend's shoulder.
"NO!" Bevis snapped, slapping his hand away. "SCHOOL SUCKS!" He began to relax a bit, looking over at Daria. "Screw this…I don't wanna be smart…I just want a sloppy Joe." He looked over at Butt-head. "Yeah…" The said boy agreed. "Being smart sucks…" The two boys began to walk from the room. Bevis looked over at his lifelong friend, put a hand on his shoulder, and chuckled. "Butt-head, that's the smartest thing I've heard all day." Butt-head chuckled, then backhanded Bevis, making him holler. "Don't touch me." He said, then the two began to chuckle.
THE END
Spoot: well…that…was…
Bevis: Cool!
Butt-head: Yeah…