Crazy Kids Inside The Writer's Office
SasuSaku(-ish), NejiTen(-ish), NaruHina(-ish), KibaIno(-ish)
When the writer leaves for a few hours, the shinobi decide to get revenge on her…and it's all recorded.
(My point of view)
Sequel to From Inside The Writer's Office
One-shot
Warning: This story is fucking random and the characters are mostly out of character. I abuse and torture both the Akatsuki and Gaara, cause I love them too much. The pairings aren't the focus and are rarely mentioned. This fic is not made to be serious. So don't take it seriously. Kay? Kay!
Yes, I'm aware I should be working on Forever and my two little story surprises, but I couldn't resist! A sequel was just begging to be made!
It's just as random as the last one (I hope), but hopefully better written and such.
Enjoy!
The second I left those open doors, I fell onto my knees and screamed. Gaara raised a non-existent eyebrow at my antics. The Akatsuki followed us out of the building just before they covered their ears.
I began rolling around the floor like a child, kicking and screaming – WHY! WHYY!!
"Are you…okay?" Itachi asked, almost scared. Good, good…he's finally learning…
I shot up, my bottom lip trembling in the puppy-dog-pout-face-fashion. He took a step back.
"YOU IDIOTS MADE ME SIT THROUGH THAT SHIT!" I yelled out, beginning to cry. The males – and even Konan! – took a couple steps back, wanting to run. But they knew…oh they knew…never to run…
"It was a writer's ceremony, you had to attend." Pein twitched, not liking how he cowered at my feet. Ha, even I scared my body guards!
"BUT IT WAS USELESS!" I felt the urge to run up and hug Hidan…so I did. He just let me hug him, as he realized long ago that trying to pry me off was futile. I was like SUPER GLUEEEEE! Cough cough, moving on now.
"AND I DIDN'T EVEN WIN A FUCKING AWARD!" That's when I felt a prick at my back and the world melted in front of me. A giggle went past my lips as I felt my body fall and I had no, no control…
"How long do you think that shot will keep her at bay?" I heard Gaara's voice say from behind me as his strong, strong arms wrapped around my torso. Ah, Gaara…he might be fucking crazy and evil, but he was cuuute.
"I don't know, but let's hurry just in case, yeah." My lips curved into a smile as I pressed my face in someone's shoulder – hopefully Gaara's or Deidara's or Itachi's or Sasori's ororor Hidan's, cause they were pretty – and I felt warm and fuzzy all over. Hehe. My vision blanked and, well, I'm guessing I passed out.
I woke up in a foreign place. I turned, getting caught up in the covers of the FOREIGN bed. My eyes snapped open.
"WHO THE HELL RAPED ME?!" My sudden scream made my security guards – Akatsuki Pein would sneer, as they 'weren't' my personal slaves, oh no…BWAHAHAHA – jump in surprise.
Hidan loudly sighed. "Nobody raped you, crazy ass bitch. This is your own fucking bedroom." Whoa, I had a BEDROOM!? HOT DOG!
And I, of course, had said that aloud. Konan raised an eyebrow. "If you didn't know you had a room, then where do you sleep?"
I grinned. "I either sleep in my office or if I've locked myself out of my office, I use my spare key to Gaara's room, lock him out since he never is in his room until three, and sleep in his bed!" Wait…I did not just give away my secret. Well, fuck!
Gaara looked pissed. "You what?" No, he knew my secret! Nonono! I laughed innocently. "Hehe, oh would you look at the time! I-"
Itachi gave me a deadpanned look. "Akura, it's six in the morning." I faked a gasp, stumbling out of my newly discovered bed.
"No way! I have shit due today!" I grabbed a discarded Akatsuki cloak – which must've been Kakuzu's as he snarled when I touched it – and ran out the door. Moments later, I kicked it open with a sheepish look.
"So, where am I?" Everyone either sighed or slapped their foreheads, or both.
"Fourth floor of your building, Akura-san," Gaara bit out, presumably still pissed at the fact that I sleep in his bed. Haha. Foolish mortal. He glared at me again.
"FUCK, I HAVE TO STOP THINKING OUT LOUD!" I freaked out before I ran to the top floor of my building – haha yes, my building! BOW DOWN MORTALS, BOW DOWN FUCKERS! – and passed the shinobi who did my dirty work, as well as my paper work on my way up. Most of them were half-asleep due to the shitty work hours I gave them…cause they made me giggle.
I drop-kicked my door open, since I forgot my keys in my coat pocket which Kakuzu had now probably stolen to re-pay for his stolen cloak.
That's when I stopped and stared…and screamed. My office was trashed. My desk was broken, papers were strewn about, there was some substance all over the walls, and…oh my…THE FUCKER WHO DESTROYED MY GLORIOUS CHAIR WAS GOING TO DIE!
The Akatsuki and Gaara climbed ten flights of stairs within two seconds, as that was all it took for them to reach my top-floor office. They were frozen as they looked at my destroyed office, andandand, Sasori gasped at the sight of my amazingly amazing soft, comfy, cusiony, black and purple checkered, custom, one-of-a-kind chair.
He understood that it could not be replicated. THAT WAS MADE IN A CHILD LABOR FACTORY THAT TSUNADE SHUT DOWN TWO YEARS AGO. TWO YEARS!
I ran to Hidan for a hug, again, because his hugs were, well, awesome. Even if they weren't returned.
"Who could've DONE this?!" I cried out, knowing they were experiencing déjà vu all over again. Teehee. And that's when the brain inside my gorgeously gorgeous head decided to work. Yay!
"I'M ALWAYS RECORDING MY OFFICE WHILE I'M GONE TO PREVENT TSUNADE FROM STEALING MY SAKE!" I began to dance, causing them to take a step back from me.
So what if my mood swings gave them whiplash? Too fucking bad. I pressed a button that ejected a tape which held the evidence of who would become number one on my hit-list, especially since it was dwindling quite fast. Those other writers didn't see it coming, heh.
I opened up the door for my secret-secret room where we always plotted our devious things and/or sat around and talked about our feelings. Honestly, I didn't think the Akatsuki could be sososo…warm and fuzzy when the time came.
I jumped over the back of the amazing couch – which was a complete circle – and sat in my spot, which gave me the best view of the high-definition flat screen TV that had come out of the Akatsuki's paycheck.
The TV came to life and my office was lifeless. I groaned. Boooooring!
The door creaked open and I found myself leaning forward in my seat. Yes, yes, you little shit!
Orochimaru peeked his head out with an insane grin on his face. He looked behind him, nodded, and walked right in as if he owned the place. Tsunade and Jiraiya followed him in with grins of their own. They sat in a circle on the floor – after Tsunade stole some of my sake…BITCH… - and Jiraiya passed out some cards.
"Now, ladies, we are going to start the card game I've chosen in the place the magical hat has chosen!" He held up a ratty old hat. "And I choose…strip poker…" Once a pervert, always a pervert. Everyone froze in surprise and I violently gagged. There is no way in hell they played strip poker in my office! Zetsu fast forwarded the tape, giving us a quick view of the game – where Tsunade lost, of course, Orochimaru didn't remove anything, and Jiraiya slipped off his two shirts – and no destruction. After Tsunade dressed, they left. Nothing else happened for another couple minutes, until Sakura barged in.
"AKURAAA!" She yelled before realizing I wasn't there. I chuckled.
"Good, she's not here. Come in, everyone!" She yelled, causing Sasuke, Ino, Hinata, Tenten, Neji, Naruto, and Kiba to file in.
"W-Why are we h-here again? Won't Ak-kura-chan be m-mad?" Hinata stuttered, pressing her fingers together. I felt my chest swell with pride. I was happy someone in the entire damn building had a conscience!
"Hinata, that chick has been making us run crazy-ass errands for MONTHS and for what? A lousy paycheck and even lousier hours, that's what," Ino snorted, flipping her blonde ponytail over her shoulder.
"Pig has a point. Hell, we do more work than her lapdogs – Gaara and the Akatsuki – and they get better pay than us!" Everyone in the room beside me snorted, whilst I giggled. Oho, they were whipped and I was glad that it was obvious. After all, if it wasn't, how could my wittle shinobi understand? Teehee!
"What do they do anyway? Hell, what does she do anyway?!" Tenten snorted. I had the sudden urge to rip those two buns off her head.
"FOR YOUR DAMN FUCKING INFORMATION, I DO SOOO MUCH! I RUN A FUCKING BUILDING, I'M AN AUTHOR WITH LITTLE COMPETITION, AND HELL I DEAL WITH YOU LITTLE SHITS!" I took a breath before continuing my little rant. "AS FOR THEM, GAARA ELIMINATES MY COMPETITION AND WORKS AS MY CUTE PUBLICIST, EVEN THOUGH HE HAS NO PEOPLE SKILLS WHATSOEVER! THE AKATSUKI ARE MY LITTLE BITCHES THAT ARE MY BODYGUARDS AND, WELL, YEAH!" They gave me weird looks – Gaara for the 'cute publicist' comment and the Akatsuki for the 'little bitches' comment – but directed their glares to the screen.
Naruto shrugged. "I dunno. Whenever I go into her office, they're always getting abused one way or another and she's either abusing them, procrastinating, and bitching at people to bring her raspberry-apple Vitamin Water." The others nodded in affirmation, as that must've been what they observed as well.
"But…what are we here for again?" Sakura slapped her forehead.
"Baka, we're here to get our revenge!" She smiled and walked, nonchalantly, over to my desk chair. I gasped.
With a single punch, my chair became rubble beneath her fist. The others were wide-eyed. Sakura walked over to a speechless Sasuke and suddenly kissed him. Immediately, his arms locked possessively around her waist. Unlike the last instance where they were on the big-screen making out, I was the first to start gagging. THIS WAS JUST SICK AND CRUEL!
Their kiss seemed to fuel something in everyone. Hell, since Sakura fucked around, why couldn't they? Even shy little Hinata messed around! She obliterated my bookshelves with furious kicks and once she was done, Naruto kissed her. And she kissed back, not even blushing. If I was in my right mind, I would squeal at the fact that they were finally kissing. But while doing…this? Fuck no.
Sasuke chidori'd my desk…again. Akamaru pissed all over my walls, making me to believe he wasn't well potty trained or was marking his territory. Either way, that mutt was dead meat. Ino busied herself with scattering my paperwork – and stories that hadn't yet made it to my laptop – all around the room. Sakura happily threw what was previously on my desk out the window, valuable or not. Gaara's tight grip on my arm was all that kept me plastered in my seat. Everyone in the room could feel the killing-intent that radiated off of me.
Naruto and Neji gave each other a glance before Naruto lifted up a hidden latch on the floor. I froze. They knew about my-
Neji pulled up an expensive, very rare bottle of booze. I jumped from my seat. "THAT'S ALL I NEED TO SEE! SOME HEADS ARE GONNA ROLL! If the maaaan with the POWEEEEEER can't keep it under controoool! Some heaaads are gonna roooooooooll!" I danced as I sang the amazingly amazing song Some Heads Are Gonna Roll by Judas Priest. Kisame slapped his forehead…like it was typical. No, Kisy-chan, it is not typical I am unpredictable, bastard!
My body guards/evil-doer-wannabes sighed when I thought aloud…yet again. Tears poured down my cheeks anime-style. In a fit of rage, I threw Hidan at the TV screen, not wanting to see anymore. He only grunted at the fact that I could pick him up, FOOLISH MORTAL…or immortal?, and didn't flinch as he shattered the beautiful HD TV.
"THAT'S COMING OUT OF THEIR FUCKING PAYCHECKS!" I yelled before I took my megaphone and rushed out of my office. They had to follow me since they didn't want me to destroy my building in my rage.
"DANIELLE! Where are those damn shinobi kids?" I asked my blonde producer/publisher/whatever it was called, who was also one of my best friends.
"How the hell should I know, Akura?!" Glare. Oh, so she was still mad? Tooooooo baaaaaaaad.
"Ohayo Akura!" Sakura greeted nonchalantly as she passed by. With my megaphone, I yelled in her ear.
"YOUR LITTLE SHIT ASS IS GOING TO ROUND UP SASUKE, NARUTO, HINATA, TENTEN, NEJI, INO, AND KIBA! DO. YOU. READ. ME. SOLIDER!?" She shrieked and ran off. I growled.
"SOME HEAAAAADS ARE GONNA ROOOOOOOOLL!" The kids gave suspicious glances at each other.
"No, children, none of you ratted out anyone. You ratted yourselves out when you forgot about my gagillion cameras taping my office at every waking moment. First order of business. All of your paychecks will be deducted in order to pay for a new HD TV, especially Neji's, Naruto's, and Sakura's."
"WHAT?! WHY?!" I hissed to quiet them.
"Because Sakura RUINED MY CHAIR! Naruto and Neji because they did who-knows-what with my booze since I threw Hidan at the TV before I could see what happened." They just stayed silent and looked at each other, glancing at Hidan to see TV screen shards still stuck in him.
"Killing is my business, ladies, and business is goooooooood! So I suggest you don't do anything else to anger me." I smirked at my reference to the amaaaaaaaaaazing movie Major Payne because, well, that movie is the shiiiiit.
"To punish you all, I plan on making you run crazier-ass errands for YEARS for a lousier paycheck and the lousiest hours." I mimicked Ino, causing everyone to send glares her way. "And no, you can never quit. Ever. You'll literally work here until you die, if you're lucky. And you can all thank Sakura for this. If she hadn't broken my chair, I wouldn't be as pissed." My bad-ass minions shook their heads.
"ALSO!" They all flinched at my too-too-delighted grin. "Right here and now, you shall state who you have feelings for, in this room or not." They all opened their mouths to protest, but I hissed. Boohissboohissboohiss.
Not even two hours later, I grinned, curled up on my new chair. It was amazing. Plusher, softer, prettier, and cooler than my old one. All thanks to Sasu-chan, Saku-chan, and Kiba-chan. Ino-chan, Hina-chan, and Ten-chan were forced to spend their hard-earned money buying what they destroyed. Naru-chan and Neji-chan were also forced to spend their money replenishing my alcohol stash, which was waay more expensive than what the girlies paid. I sipped my raspberry-apple Vitamin Water, reflecting on all their little confessions. I knew Sakura and Sasuke were getting their frustrations out on each other, crazy kids, Naruto and Hinata were off cuddling, Kiba and Ino were swapping spit, and Tenten and Neji were still denying their feelings.
I yawned, rubbing my eyes. "Man, making children's lives miserable is tiring, yet sooooo much fun."
Gaara only sighed. He was the only one who I ordered to stay with me, since I said that if he left he'd be lonely and I'd be lonely, so let's be lonely together, Gaa-chan!
"Carry me, Gaa-chan?" I asked, lifting my arms up. He raised an eyebrow.
"Crazy-ass woman, why?" I blinked.
"Caaaause I'm tired and lost the key to your room." I gave him an innocent smile.
"You have your own damn room, why are you begging for mine?" After getting over the initial shock of him speaking a whole sentence, I pouted.
"I don't have a key to it. Pluuuus you never use your bed. So why not?" I grinned.
"How do you know?"
"Because you just found out about it, and if you used your bed, you would've found a hot surprise in there before." With a groan, he picked me up. I giggled, wrapping my arms around his neck. So cute.
The end
I hope you enjoyed it! Yes, I love Gaara waaaaay too much! XD Oh well, no harm done…hehe…
New chapter of Forever (SakuSasu) will be up soon and that's where you'll get the info on my SakuSaso story and SakuIta one-shot.
Akura out!