"I pray to Castiel to come aid me in my quest….and bring pizza. Amen" She couldn't believe she was actually doing this, but Meg had done other things that were far crazier and for dumber reasons. Wondering if it would even work she walked around her new apartment eyeing the boxes that were still left to unpack. Most of it consisted of odds and ends she had picked up in her demon days, she had crammed a storage unit full over the years but it still wouldn't be enough to make this place feel like home. Not that she knew what having a home felt like, she'd been on the run so long she'd forgotten. But she was almost positive something was missing. Pausing by a stack of boxes she took out a bottle of wine and uncorked it not bothering to pour it into a glass.

Meg walked to her new bathroom and looked at her new body in the mirror. She didn't know how it happened only that she was glad that it did. After Crowley knifed her, Meg had been….well there's really no other way to say it, saved. She was no longer a demon and was given a body that was her own. It was just different enough that no one would recognize her but not so different that she couldn't see herself or at least the body of the woman she had possessed for so long. She was slightly taller and slimmer now her hair was a rich chocolate brown with red tones throughout. Her eyes were the same, her lips a little fuller. Meg had to admit she was hot. She took another swig from her bottle and went back to the living room.

When she entered the living room there was a knock at her door, not knowing what to expect she grabbed a knife she had taped to the underside of a coffee table and approached the door cautiously. Turning the knob and easing the door open slowly she peeked into the hallway. Castiel stood at her door in all his trench coated glory holding three pizza boxes and a six pack.

"I didn't know what kind you liked, so I got cheese, pepperoni, and Hawaiian? I don't know what that means but, I understand it has something to do with pineapple and not actual Hawaiians."

Stunned Meg stepped aside and held the door open for him. He ambled in, careful not to teeter his leaning pile of pizza boxes. He set them on the kitchen island that helped to separate the kitchen from the living room.

"I'm not sure who would want pineapple on their pizza but its popular-"his sentence was cut short by Meg throwing her arms around his neck and squeezing him tight. He put his arms around her awkwardly and patted the top of her head. Breaking the hug, Meg stepped back, her arms still around his waist and laughed.

"Still can't give a decent hug huh Clarence?"

"Let me try again, you caught me off guard." He pulled her slim figure to him and held her pressed against his chest, his cheek resting on the top of her head.

"This better?" he whispered into her hair.

"Mmmmhmm." She sighed against his neck. "You've learned…. I didn't think you would come." It was his turn to take a step back. He looked her clearly confused.

"Why would you think that?"

"I didn't even know if you were alive, let alone if you had the time to teleport over here just because I asked you to." Meg dropped her arms from around Castiel and went over to the pizza boxes searching till she found the one that had the pepperoni. She pulled out a slice and tore of a bite, giving herself a reason to not talk. She chewed slowly hoping that Castiel would break the awkward silence that had settled over them. Thankfully he did.

"Your voice is the same, but the rest of you is different, not by much but enough." Not knowing how to react to that she continued to eat her pizza and look at her purple polished toes.

"You're still beautiful Meg." That made her smile. It had been a little over a year since she'd seen Castiel and she had missed his bluntness. She had spent a lot of her time with humans trying to get back into the swing of being one. It was hard trying to hide who'd she had been for over two hundred years, and it was nice to just let her guard down and be herself. Even though she wasn't the same hard cold woman she'd once been. She felt more, she had learned to bite her tongue and try to keep from hurting peoples' feelings. In some ways she loved who she had become, in other ways she absolutely loathed it. Some days she longed to maim and torture the people that irritated her or just looked her at her in the wrong way. But she couldn't and wouldn't. She wasn't that abomination anymore. And suspected that she hadn't been since she started having feelings for a certain angel with blazing blue eyes and a past more twisted and screwed up than hers. Sure she had aided in trying to end the world, but he had actually let loose an army of unkillable monsters from purgatory and managed to get all the angles booted from heaven. The big difference was that Cas was trying to do good, Meg now knew everything she had done was for wrong.

"You don't look so bad yourself." She supplied peeking up at him from under her long lashes. "I've missed you. Missed being around someone who knows who I really am."

"And who is that? A woman who's literally been through Hell and back or the demon?" That caught her off guard, another side effect of being around humans too long. Meg thought about her answer while searching around the apartment for her bottle of wine. Meg knew she wouldn't be able to deal with this night sober. She found it, knocked over and empty by the coffee table. She must have done it while grabbing the knife when Castiel had knocked. Cursing herself silently she returned to the kitchen and leaned against the counter.

"Why are you pouting? Is it because of the question I asked?" Castiel asked, genuinely concerned.

"No, I dumped my last bottle of wine. Why would you think you have the ability to make me pout? Also, where did you learn that because I honestly think that might be the most hilarious thing you have ever said." She was giggling, maybe she had drank more of than bottle than she thought.

"Dean asked me why I was 'pouting' the night Crowley ran you through with that knife. He didn't know I had just buried the body of the girl you were possessing. Also Sam said something about you calling me your 'unicorn', whatever that means, wait-… are unicorns Hawaiian?" He was going off about pineapples, unicorns and pizza but Meg wasn't listening. He had buried her? 'Pouted' for her?Not wanting to dwell on her conflicted feelings, Meg pounced on the opportunity to talk about anything else, even if it was the Winchesters.

"How are Moose and Deanno?"

"Living in a top secret bunker in Kansas, Sam just recovered from the trials and expelling an angel from his body. Dean is….dealing with his own demons…as usual." Castiel froze up at the mention of the Winchesters, so apparently there was trouble in paradise.

Grabbing two beers from the six pack Cas bought she left the safety of her kitchen island and ventured closer to Castiel offering him the bottle she held in her hand. He took and deftly popped the top off using the side of the counter. Impressed, Meg handed him her beer to open. Silence settle between them again, it was uncomfortable which was strange. Meg had taken care of Castiel after he had taken in the task of dealing with Sam's delusions from when he was in hell and there had never been any awkwardness between them since. Something had shifted since she died, Meg couldn't quite figure out what, but she was determined to not let it affect them.

Castiel was conflicted. Standing across the room from Meg, things were different now, Meg was different. Cas had been human for a time and new what it was like to have all those emotions swirling inside him. He had come to realize though it was those feelings that made people so strong. But Meg was different. She'd been a demon longer than she had ever been human, and now she was human again, trying to fit in and make it all work. She seemed so soft to him, so unsure of herself now. He should have never come. Should have let her live her life as normally as she could. She deserved that at least. She could be in danger if Metatron found out who she really was and what she meant to Castiel. He could have been followed, they could be watching them right now. The very thought set him on edge. He started looking around the apartment scanning it for the easiest exits in case he had to get Meg out fast. While he looked he noticed Meg smiling at him.

"What?" he asked confused.

Her smile faltered at his tone. Unsure again. Something the demoness would have never felt. Determined to wipe all the negative emotions out if her system Meg began drinking the beer faster. One down and she felt a little fuzzy, braver now. She started up the stereo she had recently bought and tuned in a country station. A fast paced number streamed from the speakers she had put up all around the apartment. Castiel frowned. The expression wasn't missed by the former demon.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm not used to this sort of music." He replied simply. He was still frowning when Meg noticed his leg moving and looking down she saw he was tapping his foot to the beat.

"I know it's not harps and horns or the guitar of some long dead rock band. But what do you think?" she couldn't help but smile at his perplexed expression, like country music was something he just couldn't quite grasp.

"It's different, but I think I like it. It's…..soothing." Megs smile widened. That was exactly how she felt. Leaving him to ponder the lyrics of the next song she went about unpacking more boxes and drinking. She enjoyed his company, it was nice to have someone else in her apartment. She'd lived there for about 4 months and never had any visitors. Not even her neighbors. It took her up until last week to get her boxes from storage. None of her stuff could be used to make the apartment like a home but she still needed to go through it and figure out what she should keep and what she should get rid of or sell. Cas was the perfect person to have around for that, she didn't know what half the shit was anyway. But it was all powerful. He should be able to tell what's what.

"So are you going to tell me why you were pouting earlier?" Cas asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

"Okay…. I was 'pouting' because I'm not sure how to answer any of the things you've asked. Being human is hard after what I was for so long. I feel so much now. Most days I just want to curl up in my bed and stay there. But then i realize I'm turning into someone the old Meg would have killed without a second thought, so I get up and take a shower, brush my teeth and go to my meaningless job. And you want to know why I push myself so hard? Because of you. You made me want to be better. And now that I have this chance to make up for some the bad I've done I'm going to take it. I didn't know if you were alive or dead but I did know you wouldn't want me to wallow in my pathetic self-loathing. You would want me to be happy. So, I'm trying." She said the last bit in a rush afraid if she didn't say it fast she wouldn't say it all.

After finally getting that off her chest Meg stormed back to the island grabbed two beers cracked one, downed it in record time and opened the other. She didn't want to look at him. She was ashamed of showing her weakness. Shame, another lovely human emotion she felt constantly. She felt it for what she'd been and done and for who she was becoming. She quickly wiped the ears from her cheeks. It was too much.