This is my longest story EVER! My first 100 pager. It tried to end several times, but it wouldn't. I hope you guys enjoy it. I struggled with it in places, but in the end, I'm happy with how it turned out. Thanks for reading! This is the first of 11 parts.

TITLE: Change

AUTHOR: Obi the Kid

RATING: PG

SUMMARY: Pre-TPM. T'narr and Jaythen story. (Takes place when Jaythen is a 10 year old padawan.) Jaythen is traumatized after being abducted and it changes his and his master's lives forever.

DISCLAIMER: The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. I make no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.

~*~

He was there. Just as the old woman had said. How she knew, I do not know. That she wasn't involved in his abduction or abuse was all I could pry from her feelings. Those specific details of the how and why would come later. Right now only one thing mattered. The boy who lay in a small crumpled heap in the cold damp confines of this dungeon-like basement. My apprentice. My padawan. For all intensive purposes, my son. Jaythen.

He was alive, somehow. Naked and cold. Thin. So very thin. Bloody and bruised. But alive.

I'd become immune to the others, so determined to come with me in my rescue mission. I had been prepared to come alone, no matter the danger in the surrounding community, known for its violence and hatred of outsiders, especially Jedi. But I was grateful to have the support of my friends beside me. Qui-Gon Jinn and his apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi, had volunteered for the mission as soon as they realized where I was going. Master Marcus Kaavi and his apprentice, Eryck S'val – Jaythen's best friend – had met us here on their way home from a three week trip that left them exhausted. Despite their weary condition though, their dedication to helping me find my apprentice was intense. I silently thanked them all for their presence, but could not take my attention from my main concern now lying before me.

His eyes, those emerald green eyes usually filled with such joy and curiosity, fluttered in a pain-filled and troublesome sleep. Gently I tried to touch his mind. Our bond was strong. Our ability to communicate without words – with telepathy - rare in the Jedi Order, had become central to our relationship.

I reached. There was nothing there. I couldn't feel our bond. I couldn't even feel the force surrounding him. Then I heard Qui-Gon say something about a force blocking collar around his neck. The ugly piece of steel circled, allowing barely enough room for Jaythen to swallow. I pushed my anger down at the thought of what this collar meant, blocking him from everything he knew. Blocking him from me. But I couldn't focus enough to break the damn thing. Then, gentle hands fell on my shoulders. Qui-Gon on one side. Marcus on the other. They combined their power to focus on the weakest point of the collar. I found enough of myself to join the attempt, and after several agonizing minutes, it broke and fell away. Jaythen whimpered when the heavy object fell and landed on his arm. A simple human sound had never been so gratifying. At least I knew he was conscious of something, even if that something was pain.

Qui-Gon carefully lifted the piece of metal away from Jaythen and added it to the items to be used as evidence once we found the perpetrators of this crime. A scar of bruises surrounded my padawan's neck.

I tried to examine Jaythen without touching him, afraid of causing any additional pain. Eryck, a half year older than his best friend, shed his robe and offered it to me so that I could drape it over the battered naked body, at least providing a bit of dignity for my padawan.

How much time passed as I knelt next to him, I don't know. Eventually Marcus came to my side and spoke quietly. "It's not safe here, T'narr. We must leave. Can you manage him?"

Physically, this was not a problem. Emotionally though, I didn't know if I could manage any of this. But I owed it to Jaythen. If I held any blame for him being here, I would make sure that I was the one to carry him out. I leaned forward, placing one arm under his back and the other under his knees. He cried out suddenly, startling me. Marcus was there to steady him in my arms and to drape the sliding robe over him again. Then he fell to the back of our march from the basement. Qui-Gon led the way. Obi-Wan and Eryck sticking close to me on either side. Marcus brought up the rear guard. All hands ready at the saber hilt. We were as protected as we could be. The transport wasn't far.

It terrified me to feel how light Jaythen was. He never carried a lot of weight as a healthy nine year old. But now…my thoughts stopped and drifted. Jaythen wasn't a nine year old anymore. His birthday had been a month ago. He'd spent one of most important days of his year in this…place. This rotten filthy place where he'd been subjected to unthinkable actions. I needed desperately to get out of this dungeon and off this rotted planet. So I walked faster, the others sensing my urgency to get myself and my apprentice into the daylight and cleaner air.

The sun blasted us once we stepped outside. Jaythen whined pitifully in my arms, squeezing his already closed eyes even tighter at the intruding daylight. Obi-Wan on my left noticed the reaction immediately and used the hood on the borrowed robe to cover Jaythen's face. It offered relief and I felt Jaythen's increased tension ease slightly. Meanwhile, Qui-Gon was moving us swiftly, now into the shadows, closing in on our transport. The small ship was undisturbed as we ascended up the ramp.

A part of me wanted to cry at the relief I felt as the engine started and lifted us from the planet. Several tears did escape, but I paid them no mind. The transport wasn't a large one, but it did have a room designated for rest or medical care. And we'd stocked it full of supplies before leaving Coruscant, not knowing what we would find at the completion of our search for Jaythen.

Marcus kept Obi-Wan and Eryck busy with piloting us home, keeping a keen eye on the sensors, watching for any who may have tracked us from the planet. Qui-Gon came to help me with Jaythen. There was small bed in the room. I set Jaythen down carefully, his protesting whimpers paining my heart. I began to think that this was the reason I had never taken an apprentice. This was the why I'd never wanted the responsibility. But those were unhealthy thoughts. I loved Jaythen as a son. I would never regret my choice of training and raising him, even now. Focusing on the present was what I needed to do, so when Qui-Gon's touch to my shoulder shook me back to the now, I nodded him thanks.

We had no pursuers on our trip home. The other two padawans did everything in their power to make certain that the journey was smooth. I would tell them later how much their efforts were appreciated. Now though was not the time. The brightness of the room hurt Jaythen. His whimpers became more pronounced, turning into cries of pain once Qui-Gon and I tried to determine the extent of his injuries. The lights now dimmed, it was difficult to see where any blood was coming from or how deep any cuts and contusions ran. We managed though. Slowly. The healers would bathe him completely, but I needed to clean him up. I couldn't bear to have my padawan as he was. He'd never done anything in his young life to deserve the condition he was in. So as carefully as I could, I took soft rags, dipped them in the non abrasive warm soapy gel that Qui-Gon had mixed and carefully stroked some of the caked dirt and blood from his face.

I had to leave the room at one point. Tracing the knife marks across his arms, seeing how they concentrated on the painted green feather on his right forearm. The marking that he'd gotten on our first trip to my home, Kembar Lune, was so important to him. He represented his growth. It represented us. Our bond. And now it was scarred with blood and grime. Whoever had assaulted him had physically scraped off part of the green paint with a knife, tearing away bits of his skin within the feather outline. My stomach churned and I walked away.

Facing the wall, my head leaning forward against it, I squeezed my eyes open and closed, trying to battle the emotions. I wouldn't do Jaythen any good if I fell apart. Qui-Gon knew that too, and stood softly in the doorway. "It's difficult, T'narr. But you must do this. These moments immediately after are the most important. Jaythen needs to know that he is safe. And the only place that makes him feel safe is with you. Let's finish cleaning him the best we can. We'll be home in a day. I'll stay and help you."

I couldn't bring myself to speak, but nodded and followed Qui-Gon back to Jaythen's bedside. Then I began again the gentle cleaning. Briefly I thought about using the force to settle him when the pain of my actions became too great. Again Qui-Gon rescued me from those thoughts. There was no way to tell what shape Jaythen's mind was in after having to wear that collar for the past two months. My entry into his head might break his already fragile state. So I worked around his discomfort, around my own emotional anguish and finished the task of cleaning up my battered apprentice. It was the most difficult task I had ever done in my life.

He looked better when we'd finished. That wasn't saying much though. The intense bruising covering his body and around his neck was more evident now, no longer hidden under the blood and dirt. Blacks and purples, yellows and browns. So many stained colors on such a small body.

"We need something for him to wear," I said blankly. "He can't go home like this. And Eryck should have his robe back once it's cleaned. We brought something for him to wear, right?"

Qui-Gon looked towards another bag that we'd brought. He pulled out a soft lightweight pair of sleep pants. "This will be excruciating for him when we pick his legs up and put these on him, but it might also subconsciously make him feel a bit safer. Sometimes something as simple as a familiar fabric can help the initial stages of emotional trauma."

We said nothing else and went to the task. I prepared myself for Jaythen's reaction. It was severe. The cries that had been whimpers now elevated into screams, continuing until we'd slipped the pants to his waist. When he finally settled, his eyes were open. For the first time in two months, I was seeing those familiar green eyes again. Now though they were dulled by his condition and filled with only fear, pain, and a sadness that I'd never seen in anyone. He looked at me, slowly blinking, working hard to keep his eyes from closing. I knew I had only seconds to try and get him to see me - to see that he was safe.

"Padawan. Jaythen." A hint of recognition in his dull eyes gave me hope. "Yes, Padawan. I'm here. It's all right now." I stroked his hair. "You're safe with me. I'll look after you now. They can't hurt you anymore." My own tears started when a single droplet of water slid from Jaythen's eyes. It didn't matter though. Jaythen had to see that I was here, and that I would be here until however long his recovery lasted. He needed to see that I loved him and had come for him. His face contorted with pain and emotionally he was done. He knew who I was. He knew I'd come for him. He knew he'd be safe in my care. He knew I still loved him. I stopped stroking his hair and moved my hand to the side of his face. His awareness brought with it an intense shaking, and his arms and legs began to shiver with cold. Despite that, he leaned his head into my hand in an almost nuzzling motion. Then he closed his eyes and drifted again into his semi-conscious world.

Qui-Gon smiled gently towards me. "He knows."

"That makes me feel a little better, even when I know what's ahead."

"There's little more we can do for him until we land on Corsuscant."

"I just want to sit with him." I suddenly felt this need to be alone with my apprentice. "Qui-Gon…"

To my surprise, my friend raise his hand and gave a knowing nod, almost as if he'd read my mind. Or perhaps he'd been here before, in this situation with Obi-Wan. He said there was no need to explain, that he understood. Then with a comforting hand on my shoulder, he left the room.

Jaythen didn't wake again on our journey home. I found I could either treat that as a positive sign or a negative sign. I did neither. Sitting with him, talking to him, stroking his face - was all I could do. At times I found myself floating in my own semi-conscious state, somewhere that I could only describe as a light dozing rest. It made time drag. But eventually we did set down on a landing pad on Coruscant. Several healers were waiting for us, as well as Master Yoda. It surprised me a council member there, but it was the least of my concerns. Only Jaythen mattered.

I felt helpless watching my padawan wake and gasp in pain as he was moved by the healers to a floating stretcher. Thankfully the cries stopped when he was set down. I told Healer Terran Va'lor all I could. Gave him as much information about his condition and the condition of the area we found him in. They would know what to do. I trusted Terran. He knew Jaythen well. He cared about him. I knew he was in safe hands. But when we arrived at the hospital, the healer blocked my path. I could follow no further.

"Let us look him over and run some simple tests. We need a starting point. He'll be sedated as soon as we can determine that it's safe. I know you need to be with him, T'narr, but give us this time to get him started. I promise you that I'll be careful with him and that he'll be safe with me. Take some time to get cleaned up, eat something. I'll com you soon." I stared directly into the man's gray eyes, finding what I sought. Jaythen was protected in his care. I would leave him in the trusted hands of the most trusted healer.

It was no surprise when Qui-Gon took my arm and escorted me away from the hospital. He left me at my quarters. "If you need anything, you let me know. Marcus says the same. We don't want to intrude, but know that we're here."

I hadn't said much to Qui-Gon, or any of the others since we'd found Jaythen. But I needed to let them know how much I owed them for their dedication to helping me find my apprentice. To my surprise, I reached out and wrapped my arms around my fellow Master Jedi. A few seconds of comfort. A few seconds to thank him. "I'm indebted to you and the others, Qui-Gon. Thank you." A tear tracked down my face. I didn't care. Then I pulled away. "I mean it. Thank you. You and Obi-Wan. And if you see Marcus and Eryck, please tell them. I will speak to them in time, but at the moment…"

"Don't concern yourself with that, T'narr. Look after yourself so you can look after Jaythen. I'll see you tomorrow sometime." And with that he left. I fell into my apartment and into a much needed hot shower. The blood and dirt that had covered Jaythen's body coated my hands. It felt a relief to wash it away.

To his word, Terran called for me a couple hours later. It was late in the evening. Time though was the last thing on my mind. He escorted me to the rear hall of the hospital, the end room. It was the quietest and least traveled area in the hospital. Jaythen's recovery would begin here. It seemed right. And as Terran talked to me about the injuries suffered and the abuse inflicted on the small ten year old boy that I held so dear, I battled my anger internally. It hadn't yet been decided if a security team would be sent to that horrible planet to hunt for those that did this, but I would lobby the council to make sure that something was done. This type of crime couldn't be left unpunished. Not after what they did to…

"T'narr, stop it." The healer tapped me in the chest to snap me back to the present. "The boy in this room is your concern. There is no other." We stopped at the doorway to Jaythen's dimly lit room. I felt foolish for letting anger dictate my thoughts. I was better than that. Jaythen deserved better than that. Terran continued. "We've made him comfortable and started him on IV fluids. His body has been deprived of everything. It'll be sometime before he gains his weight and strength back. Our main concern for now is to let his body heal while getting him nourished. We'll adjust the pain medications as needed." He went on to explain the damage done to Jaythen's throat. The air and filth combining to create a bacterial mess that left his throat inflamed and swollen. His ability to talk, at least short term, would be affected. Then I wondered about his force sensitivity. I'd told Terran about the collar, and he was one of the few people who knew of Jaythen's remarkable telepathic ability, and the easy link the two of us had formed. Able to carry on lengthy conversations without uttering a single oral word. It was an ability rare in Jedi. An ability I never knew I had until Jaythen's mind had touched mine. Would we still be able to communicate that way?

"Until he regains some continuous consciousness, I don't know. I would advise against trying to reach him through the force. For now at least. That collar he had on, we're not yet sure exactly what it does. Disconnect him from the force, yes. But what did he feel when he tried to reach for it? We're looking into that. Actually, we're consulting with your old master about it. It's the type of thing that's in his field. Right now, T'narr, I just want you to sit with him. Be near him. Talk to him. You know his emotional needs more than anyone."

And I did. Jaythen was at times and emotional roller coaster. At least when working to move beyond his troubled past. This was one more thing added to his memories. One more thing that would cause him emotional pain long after the healing of the physical.

I took a deep breath. Content that Terran was in charge of Jaythen's care and that my former master – Kaai Dajani, a man that I respected above all other -, was also involved, I settled at my learner's bedside. I was hopeful that he would wake again, but he didn't. Not for three days. The combination of his exhausted body, the drugs, and the sudden comfort of sleeping on something other than a filth covered cement floor, lulled Jaythen into a coma-like sleep that held him securely as his body took in the rest and nourishment it had been denied for so long.

On that third day, seeing those eyes again, even as dull as they still were, warmed my heart. They found me instantly and the bruised face attempted to form a smile. It wasn't really successful, but I could see the effort it took for Jaythen to try. I talked to him. He made odd movements with his mouth and tongue. Terran said it was because his mouth was so dry. A cup of small ice chips was placed in my hand with instructions to feed no more than half a spoonful to Jaythen at a time. Ever so careful to protect his throat while it healed. I could tell that my padawan was happy to have the ice as he tried to stick his tongue out for more. "Not too much, Jaythen. We have to go slow." His eyebrows frowned at me, and I couldn't help but laugh a little. "You'll get more. We have to go by what Healer Terran says though. He's the boss around the hospital, right?" He tilted his head to the side, giving in. At least, he seemed to know he was home, not attempting to question what I meant when I used Terran's name and title.

Jaythen squirmed, trying to move his lower half. He made several grunting sounds and tried to get me follow his eyes. This was the most difficult form of communication, but I figured out what he meant. He felt an urge and had to go. I had to smile. "You're hooked to a catheter, Padawan. So, there is no need for you to get up and move to the bathroom. You won't have an accident." He looked puzzled. "Don't fight the urge, it's all right. These healers know what they're doing." A moment later the look of relief that flooded his face was enough to make me laugh again. "Feel better?" His tired eyes told me yes and he fought against the feeling coming over him. "It's all right to sleep again. I'll be here when you wake up. You can have more ice next time. Close your eyes." I put a hand on his forehead, careful to not seek the force, as I would have done in the past. This time I stroked his hair until his breathing relaxed and he gave into the pain medications that were being fed through his IV.

~*~

I didn't know what to expect the next day. Yoda wanted to meet with those of us who had found Jaythen. And he included Terran and Master Kaai as well. It felt good to see my old master again. I'd seen him many times since I took Jaythen as an apprentice. Former master and current padawan had meshed from the beginning and always looked forward to seeing the other. My master, beyond pleased – and relieved - that I had finally accepted a learner of my own. I'd shared Jaythen's emotional troubles with him, knowing anything I told him would be held in strict confidence. Master Kaai was older now, settling in on the ripe age of one hundred standard years. But his race, as with mine, were longer lived than humans and he still had many solid years ahead of him, though his long hair – falling freely past his shoulder blades - had turned almost completely gray, moving towards white. The gray of course, completely my fault, as all padawans of gray masters can attest. He's a tall man, a head taller than me even, but thinly built. His pale skin evidence of his people's city living heritage. The beard kept for so many years – also gray - is trimmed close. But it's his eyes that grab. The darkest of blues - each centered by an iris of sable. Many a planetary leader found it difficult to meet him eye to eye, for the knowingness behind the caliginous blue. To me though, those eyes were always oddly comforting.

He held forward the collar that we'd pried off Jaythen. The accented but strong voice easily getting the attention of those of us gathered in Terran's office. "It works simply enough, blocks a force user from using and feeling the force. But it seems to be able to anticipate when that user is going to try, and counters immediately with a shock to the throat. The user probably learns quickly that they shouldn't reach. It appears that the shock then runs through the entire body. The end result being deep bruising of the muscles and nerves. It's a device beyond cruel, especially when used on a child. The inventor of this contraption should be shot." I saw Obi-Wan and Eryck flinch at the words coming from the mouth of a Master Jedi, but the rest of us, we held no surprise at Kaai's words. It was his way.

And we all agreed with him.

Terran rubbed his hands to his temple. "Makes for a more difficult recovery. Jaythen won't want to use the force to aid him in relief from pain, or for meditation. He'll be terrified. I make his other healers aware, so we all stay on the same page with his treatment. Thank you, Kaai. Any thing else that you or your team can determine from this thing, please let me know."

"We will find something, Terran. I promise that to my former padawan and to his boy." Kaai smiled sadly at me, but I knew there could be no one better suited for this task. I sent a tug through our bond. A bond that still thrived so many years after my Knighting. I missed Jaythen's touch to my mind more than ever at that moment. I wondered if I'd ever been able to feel that warming touch ever again.

The meeting progressed. Each Jedi telling what they knew. What they noticed about the area where we found Jaythen. Yoda watched the process in silence. Sometimes nodding. Sometimes frowning. At the end of the session he excused everyone except Terran and myself.

"Not broken, your padawan is. But difficult this will be for him. Decisions he will make when able to he is. His choice it will be. No other. Master T'narr, on leave of absence you are from field duty until further notice. Padawan Talari needs you he does. Concerns you may have for the council, bring them to me alone you will." He hobbled out of the room, leaving Terran and I somewhat perplexed, until it hit me a few minute later. I knew what Yoda had meant about decisions.

"Yoda knows that this event will cause Jaythen to question staying with the Jedi. He's questioned it before. We've talked about it. He's never been completely certain that being a Jedi is his calling. He's not had the easiest childhood, and being a Jedi seems to have brought all of this on him. When we were on Kembar Lune, he talked about living there, and how much he would enjoy it if he did. I think if I had told him at the time that we were never returning to Coruscant, he would have been the happiest boy in the universe. And this would have never happened to him." I paused to push the bubbling anger down. "I guess Yoda sees a decision in his future. One that I'm not allowed to influence."

"But you will influence it, just by your presence. He'll follow you anywhere, T'narr. You know that. Even if it means staying with the Jedi when his mind and body are trying to push away from the Order."

I sighed. I couldn't argue with Terran. He was right.

"T'narr, any decision like that is a ways off. Let's worry about it when it happens. Our concern right now is a scarred and terrified ten year old boy. Forget that he's a Jedi. He's a boy that's been through a horrifying event. Worry about Yoda's future predictions later. Come on, I'm due for my rounds. We'll stop in on Jaythen first."

Jaythen was awake again. He saw me and immediately tried another of those painful smiles. Then he made those familiar sticky tongue noises. A request for ice. Terran gave me the go ahead, checked his vitals, IV, catheter and the like, then left to see his other patients. I spent the next hour slowly spoon feeding my apprentice crushed ice. I got the feeling that the ice was like a pala cream cake right about now. Since it didn't seem to bother his throat, I'd been given permission to offer him as much as he wanted.

~*~

Tbc…