Training with Dimitri was truly one of my favorite activities. Not only did it help to further develop my bad ass guardian skills, but it also gave me an excuse to put my hands on his god like body. It still amazed me that no one except Victor was able to sense the attraction we had for each other, it seemed so obvious to me. Even in the midst of training, it was so thick you could literally cut it with a knife.
For the past twenty minutes we had been trading shots, we were so in-tune with each others movements it almost seemed like a dance, a violent dance one that left our bodies bruised and battered, but a dance none the less. I tried a roundhouse kick to his chest, being a whole foot taller than me his chest was all I could hope to reach. He grabbed my leg and pulled me into him, my body pressing into his hard muscled form.
Focus Rose you like to win I chastised myself, you aren't going to win if you can't stop thinking of his breath on your skin. But really how was I supposed to fight him when all I wanted was to feel his warm strong hands caress my body.
It suddenly occurred to me that Dimitri seemed to be struggling with focus today as well.
Which wasn't normal for him, for me totally normal, but Dimitri was usually all business at least during our actual trainings. Before and after he was a little less with the business a little more with the stolen kisses and the longing glances, emphasis on the word little though. I could never get enough of Dimitri, I wanted to be near him all the time, but he fought with himself and me to keep me at arms length literally. I think he still feared how much he let go the night of that love charm. That night Dimitri's control had been banished. He wanted me and he almost took me, and trust me I was more than willing to be taken. Dimitri tried to lie to say that it was just the charm that he didn't want me in that way but in the end it was the one thing Victor had actually told the truth about. If Dimitri and I didn't already have that passion burning inside for each other the spell would have never worked. But we did burn for each other and that night we almost let that fire engulf us, if it hadn't been for the fact that Lissa had been in danger and was being tortured by that sick bastard, Victor, I would say I wish we wouldn't have stopped.
Today there was something in Dimitri's eyes the lust was so strong it was smothering; it reminded me of that night. The way the electricity crackled between us.
I mean yeah I had worn one of my lower cut tank tops to today's practice and yeah I did go with my signature black lace bra which I knew was peaking
through the thin red fabric, but still I normally did not get this much of a reaction from him while we were training and believe me I tried often. He was way too professional, too focused on being the stoic guardian.
I couldn't help but notice he still had me pressed against his body; he slowly lowered my leg to the ground for me. His hand sliding inch by inch up my thigh came to rest on the wicked curve between my waist and hip. Curves I had, and I knew the reaction it caused in the male population here on campus. It was something that really separated
us dhampir girls from the moroi girls. Score one for the Dhamps!
I could feel his breath in my hair, every nerve ending in my body was firing. I leaned back pressing my chest into him, tipping my head back so that the curve of my neck
was fully exposed. He leaned forward his mouth just grazing over that soft spot where you neck and your collar bone meets. I couldn't help the whimper that escaped my lips, the weakness that came over my knees and caused me to buckle even further into him.
"Roza", he whispered into my skin, and I wanted him so badly right there and then, I didn't even care that someone could walk in at any moment. I didn't care about anything, the world ceased to exist. Right up until I heard his next words. "We can't do this" he said. I pushed off of him and whirled around, I was infuriated. My body couldn't take it, my emotions were on overload my desire so strong entwining with his, I knew he wanted me as much as I wanted him I could feel it coming off of him in waves yet he could pull back, he could stop himself while I had no self control. It made me want to scream!
"You keep saying that but in case you didn't notice we always end up in the same position," I yelled. I didn't mention there were a few more positions I would like to try out with him, with Dimitri and his goodie two shoes guardian attitude sometimes saying less is the way to go.
"I know" he said, "I have been thinking about that a lot lately". I didn't like his tone, I had a feeling I wasn't going to like the rest of this conversation. "I think maybe we should cut back on our one-on-one trainings, maybe…."
Before he could continue I screamed. "I really can't stand this back and forth with you anymore", I went right at him. Backing him against the wall, my fury caught me by surprise, it must have caught him by surprise too or else I wouldn't have been able to move him. I pressed my body into his, and felt his breath catch, the desire was still there he wanted me and I knew it. Why did he have to keep pushing me away? "Tell me you don't want me" I whispered against his chest, "tell me you can stand the thought of being away from me. Tell me that what I am feeling isn't real that this isn't real." My rage was spilling over but a girl can only take so much frustration before she breaks. And this girl was breaking.
"I can't tell you those things" he growled back at me, seems I wasn't the only one losing control today, "you know I want you, I want you so bad it hurts" he grabbed me by my upper arms. Fingers pressing deep into me almost to the point of being too rough and yet it felt amazing; feeling his control give and his passion for me spill out in any form even frustration was like an aphrodisiac. He wasn't pushing me away either, in fact he was holding me firm against him. He brought his mouth down to mine so our lips were almost touching. For a second I thought I might win, thought I might be able to break through that guardian logic that seemed to rule him so often. Sadly I was wrong.
When he spoke his lips brushed mine. "Just because it is what I want, doesn't make it right, I won't… ." I couldn't help it I wanted him so badly and even though I was angry at the words coming out of his lips, feeling them against mine sent me over the edge. I wasn't going to lose not this time. I leaned forward and kissed him. And he kissed me back, he always kissed me back as much as he tried for control once we were lip locked his will power caved. He spun us around so fast I didn't even realize I had moved until I felt my back hit the wall. His mouth was amazing, hungry, he lifted me up devouring more of me. It was like he couldn't get close enough to me. This was dangerous we were in public well sort of we weren't actually in public, but anyone could walk in on us guardians and novices hell even Moroi roamed through these training rooms. Even as these thoughts were rushing through my brain I was deciding I didn't care. I wanted him, I needed him. I wrapped my legs around his waist I could feel his body all of it crushing me between him and the wall. We kissed like that for what seemed like an eternity, bodies so interlocked that I couldn't tell where mine ended and his began. And then without any warning he pulled away his breathing heavy and erratic. He pushed away, placing me back on the floor. He was holding my shoulders against the wall his arms outstretched as far as they could go; he was keeping our bodies from touching.
"Rose this isn't right", he was still panting from the lack of oxygen brought on by our fierce makeout session. "I am supposed to be training you, teaching you, making you a better guardian. How is this making you better?"
And that was it I erupted, I couldn't stand being thrown between his intense passion and his Boy Scout mentality. "Your right comrade THIS isn't helping me. THIS isn't doing anything for me! In fact THIS is starting to get really old". I grabbed my workout bag and headed for the door, I was so flustered, it was amazing I could find my way to the door in fact it was amazing I could manage to walk. One minute wrapped so tight in his arms I felt like everything was right in the world, the next I was shoved away like my age was a disease.
"Rose, please wait" he called to me but I didn't turn around. I didn't look back even though I could still hear the longing in his voice, I knew I could have fought back I could have probably used my body and the heat still cascading through the room to break that steel encased will of his. But not this time, I was tired of the rejection I was tired of trying to convince this man that I loved to want me, to give in to the desire I knew he had for me. So I just kept walking. Dimitri was going to have to do some soul searching. I had already searched my soul I knew I would do anything to be with him, things I probably shouldn't do. I knew I would fight anyone; my friends, my mother, the whole guardian bureaucracy to be with him. I would deal with the gossip the whispers, all the drama that would unfold when people learned the truth but if he wasn't willing to do the same for me then what was the point.
I sulked back to my dorm, not paying any attention to my surroundings, dangerous especially considering as a guardian; I was supposed to notice everything. Dangerous because I didn't even hear him come up behind me.
"Little Dhampir, How did you know black was my favorite color" Adrian was right behind me sliding his hand across my waist. "Do I get to see if the bottoms match?", one of his fingers slid just etching the top of my low rider jeans. I elbowed him so hard he literally flew backwards. Bent over rubbing his stomach where he took the brunt of my force, he said "I always knew you wanted to get physical with me. Lucky for you I like it rough." That smug smile of his was only one of the reasons I hated him.
"Get away from me Adrian, before I show you how rough I like it" anger seething from my every pore. Although if I allowed myself to admit the truth my anger wasn't really towards him, it was towards Dimitri and me and the impossible mess of emotions I had just gone though. Adrian was a flirt and he was good at it, I was good at it too so how could I begrudge him for having skill. "Promises little dhampir, I will hold you to them some day" Strike that I spoke to soon, he was an arrogant jerk not a flirt, right back to hating him. Man my emotions were all over the place today, maybe it is time for a little one-on-one with the resident head shrink at the academy. "But our fun will have to wait for another time today I came to talk", he continued."
I opened my door, walked in and whirled around stopping Adrian from crossing the threshold. " I want to be alone", I slammed the door in his face. He called through the wooden door, " I'll be seeing you Rose", something about the way he said it, sent chills down my spine and not in the good way.