In Which the Doctor Is Sassy and Other Stories

by Impossible Oswin

A series of humorous, crack-y oneshots ranging from "In Which The Doctor Is Sassy" to "In Which The Doctor Aquires a Cellphone" and "In Which The Doctor Discovers Fanfiction". Now contains a table of contents.

1. In Which The Doctor is Sassy

Disclaimer: I am not the BBC. I do not own Doctor Who. Sadly.

In which the Doctor….

Is Sassy.

"Doctor," Clara swallowed, uncertain. She stared apprehensively at the dark void ahead of her, pondering her two options that would determine her fate forever: Jump in and save 4000 Space Barcelonian No-Nosed Dogs…. Or save herself, leaving them and the Doctor to die. She closed her eyes. "I- I think I'm going to jump. Just… I want to ask you a favor. Don't forget me. Run away, save yourself…. Run, you clever boy. And remember."

Silence.

"Hello?" The girl cracked an eye open, peeking at her time lord. He was sitting on a bench a couple feet away, filing his nails with his sonic screwdriver.

He looked up, flicking his hair away sassily. "Sorry, what now?"

"Doctor! I'm about to sacrifice my life for you! And all you can say is, 'What now'?! I am about to DIE!" She crossed her arms, visibly upset.

"Two things. First," The Doctor held up his newly groomed pointer finger. "I said 'sorry what now.' Not just 'what now'. And second," He flipped his hand around, extending a second. "No, you're not."

"Not what?"

"About to die. Girl, this is your forty-second life. You have died so many times I can't even keep my fabulous hair straight."

"That didn't even make sense."

"You don't make sense, woman!" Then he paused. She actually didn't make sense, lol. How does one die forty-two times and still be alive? Oh, well. He'd figure it out during the season finale.

"You're making me not want to save myself for you. Why can't you just jump in, huh?" Clara smoothed her dress out and stepped away from the void.

"Girl!" The Doctor placed a hand on his hip. "I am the Doctor. The Doctor. Check yourself!"

Clara marched up to her friend, picked him up, and tossed him into the void.

But he was too fabulous to care.

Thanks for reading! Planning for this to be a series of, "In Which the Doctor is..." oneshots. If you liked it, review and follow/favorite! If you hated it, review and tell me why! And if you review, it maybe possibly increases the chances that the Doctor will land in your yard.