Okay. So these are going to be random, funny, and rather stupid scenes I come up with when I'm stuck on my other stories...Yes I relieze it's quite stupid.

Note: I don't own any character's associated with "Phantom of the Opera"! I wished I owned Erik! He is a sexy beast.

Erik's Drunkness, but Still Sexyness

It's another day in the life of Erik, the phantom. Erik had just finished his daily cape swirling practice. He had mastered it! Well, what do you think he does all day? He can't spend every moment playing and composing beautiful music and stalking Christine.

Erik sat at his desk trying to write some new music for the next upcoming show. He can't write let alone think because he can't help but think of that Vicomte Raoul. Erik is getting very frustrated. He jumps up from his desk and knocks everything over. "That insolate fool! Damn him! That little fucktard!" Erik roared.

Erik walked over to his cabinet and grabbed a bottle of booze. He emptied the whole bottle in an instant. He then grabbed another and drained it instantly, also. He then grabbed one more. Erik started to stumbled over to the swan bed and practically fell on it. He laid on his back and tried to drink the last bottle, but he spilled it all over himself.

Erik then began to whine out loud. "Oh…Christine hates me…She would rather have that loser-face Raoul…Maybe if I had a man bun/ponytail she would love me…I can't help it that I don't look as feminine as him…Perchance if I grew my hair out…and pranced around like some type of…thing…that uh…prances around…she would love me. Well, I can't help that I don't look like a damn fop!" Erik tried to sit up, but fell back down.

"Maybe I should act more like a fucking pansy and change my name to Leslie…Yeah…Or I can just ruin the next performance…" Erik sat up and ambled over to his chair. He grabbed his cape and stumbled over to the mirror. He ran into it. "How do I open this, again?" He stood for a moment staring at it in his groggy haze. "Oh…right…" Erik fumbled with the switch.

Erik stumbled down the passage and ended up in Christine's dressing room. Christine jumped after seeing him enter. She could smell the alcohol and she could see he was very much drunk.

"Erik, have you been drinking, again?" Christine asked as she sat at her vanity.

"Nope…Not at all…Did you see the pretty purple cow that quack's come through here?" He asked as he stumbled against the wall.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I have to uh…go…the angry pansy Fabio wants his…um…uhhh…Do you like man perms?"

"Erik go back to your lair you are drunk," she accused.

"No…I'm perfectly….sober. You're the one that's drunk Miss…uhh…Daaé? Sober up!"

"Erik I really think you should go." She said as she stood up.

"Where do you think your going? Going to do a little business with your fucktard fop?" He laughed.

"I would do no such thing! I'm going to go sing tonight. Remember?" She was growing irate with him.

"You are such a drunkard coward, Christine. You should really lay off that Captain Morgan Booze. It makes you horribly mean…"

"Erik go. I have to get ready for the show!"

"If I become your little fabio then would you love me?…" She left Erik alone in her dressing room. "You're fired," he yelled after her. He grabbed a tube of lipstick and wrote: Carlotta sucks back cleavage! And Raoul is a fop! And OG wasn't here! on her mirror.

"That will teach her to steal my ginger snaps…ooohhh…look a pretty little bug…"

Erik then began to sing a horribly: "In the middle of the niiiiiiiiiiiiigggghhhhtt, I GO walking in my sleeeeeppppppyyyy sleep. to the middle OF tHE ForesT, to the VALley, of ThE DeEP...Doot doot doot Dum dum dum...I do not like green eggs and ham I do not like them sam I am...Who in the bloody hell is Sam?"

Yeah...I know...Pretty dumb. Huh? Review and tell me how dumb that was!