In Which Blaine Leaves Kurt and Everything Falls to Shit
Summary: Blaine and Kurt are in college. Blaine is insecure and leaves, causing them both to fall to pieces. Angst, but with a hopeful ending. Rated for possible triggers.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. The character Clare is named after an 80s movie character, just like Blaine. The Cameron in my story is based off of Cameron Mitchell from The Glee Project, which I also don't own, and is not meant as an insult to him. I just think he's cute.
Author's Note: I honestly wrote this out of boredom and touched it up because a friend wanted to read it. It got good response on Tumblr, which I didn't expect. So I posted it here. If you want to follow my Tumblr, my URL is the same as my penname.
He stared at the ceiling.
Honestly, that's all he had done in days.
He laid on the couch in the living room. He felt wrong being in his... their bed. So he laid on the couch and stared at the plain white ceiling for hours. It had been a week, and he still couldn't figure out what he had done wrong.
His phone had been ringing for three days and he hadn't bothered to check it. He could tell by the customized ring tones who was calling. He didn't feel like talking to any of them. He just wanted to talk to Blaine.
His phone sounded with Burt's ring tone for the billionth time and Kurt sighed, reaching his arm out to the coffee table to seize it. "Hello?" he said. His voice was tired and scratchy from lack of use.
"Kurt? Where the hell have you been? We've been calling you for days. Mercedes was worried and you haven't been picking up and Blaine's phone is off. Where the hell have you been? What's going on?"
Kurt was in his first year of college. Second semester. It was March—almost his and Blaine's two year anniversary. Only two more weeks away. But Blaine wasn't there, counting the days with him. Kurt didn't honestly know where Blaine was. He could only guess. "Kurt?" Burt tried again.
"Sorry," Kurt said. "It's been a rough few days, Dad." Kurt sighed, rubbing his eyes.
"Why, what's wrong? Did something happen? Are you alright?" Kurt wasn't sure how to answer that.
"No, I'm not really alright," he admitted. "Blaine dumped me." Dumped. That was the only word that fit what Blaine had done. He dumped Kurt and left without any real explanation. He left and didn't talk to Kurt again.
"He did what? Why? When did this happen, Kurt? Why didn't you call me? You said things were good between you. When did you start fighting? Don't you two live together?" Kurt squeezed his eyes shut to keep from crying again. He was so, so sick of crying. He didn't want to start again now.
"We didn't. Start fighting, I mean. We weren't fighting. We were good. At least, I thought we were... I have no idea what happened, Dad. I haven't called Rachel cause I can only assume that Blaine is staying with her. I wouldn't know since he hasn't said a word to me since he walked out..." He took a deep breath. "He said... that we should see other people. And that we probably rushed into things and that it isn't fair to be so committed when we have no basis to compare each other to, so he doesn't think we can be sure if we really want each other... So I guess he found someone else. Wanted to see someone else. Didn't want me. Whatever."
It was the first time Kurt had said this out loud. He hadn't talked to anyone but himself in the past few days. And when he spoke to himself, it was usually sobbed messes of, "What did I do wrong?" and "We were so happy."
"He just walked out on you?" Burt asked, sounding as stunned as Kurt had felt.
"Yeah." Kurt sniffed. "I tried to stop him... I really did. I cried, I pleaded... I begged him not to go, Dad. I tried so hard... I tried to get him to talk to me, I told him I love him, I kissed him, I did everything I could think of, and he didn't say anything... He just packed his things and walked out. Said it was for the best. That I'd be happier..."
"That son of a bitch. I can't believe he did that. If he left you for someone else I swear I'll chop his nuts off."
"Dad. It's fine." Kurt knew that wasn't true. "I just want him to be happy. If he isn't happy with me then he isn't happy with me. It isn't his fault."
"Stop. Don't say that. Kurt, you've always been wonderful to Blaine. This isn't your fault or because of anything you did or didn't do. This is Blaine's issue, not yours, so don't get down on yourself for it. Please. I don't want to see you blaming yourself when you did nothing wrong. This isn't your fault."
Kurt wished he could believe that.
It wasn't easy. He had been counting the days that he was alone. He couldn't make himself let go, no matter how hard he tried. He could barely make it through the day, feeling like he did. The feeling never went away. It wasn't like he lost his lover. It was like he lost a irreplaceable piece of himself.
To be honest, he still wasn't sure why Blaine left. The thought haunted him nearly every night. He thought that things were fine between them. They'd been together for almost two years. They were happy.
"Kurt, what are we doing?" Blaine had asked.
"We're watching a movie?" Kurt said, not sure of what Blaine was asking.
"Not that, I mean... Look at us, Kurt. What are we doing here? We act like we're married. Half the time, people think that we are." Kurt didn't say anything. He wasn't sure why Blaine sounded upset by that. "Kurt, you're my first boyfriend, and I'm yours. How can you even be sure if I'm what you want, if you've never been with anyone else? And how am I supposed to know if you're really what I want?" Kurt's mouth fell open slightly.
"I... I don't know, I just... I just feel it, Blaine. I don't... I've never wanted anyone else."
"Are you sure of that?" Blaine asked, his jaw tense.
"Of course I am! Blaine, what the hell is going on? Where is this coming from?" Blaine shook his head, standing up. "Blaine, would you just talk to me?"
"Kurt, I think we should break up."
The words hit him like a slap in the face. "What? Why? What did I do?" He already felt himself getting choked up. Blaine shook his head, walking down the hall to their bedroom. "Blaine!"
"You didn't do anything, okay? It's not... Look, Kurt, this is a high school relationship and I think we're both taking it too seriously. Do you know what the chances are that there's someone out there who's better for you than I am? You don't even have anyone else to compare me to, so don't even start trying to tell me that there isn't."
"Blaine, I don't want anyone else!" He was near crying now. "Stop packing! Why are you packing?" There came the tears. "You can't just leave me! Blaine, stop!"
"Kurt, I already told you," Blaine said sternly.
"Why are you doing this?" Kurt choked. "Why don't you want me anymore? Blaine... Baby..." He tried to reach out to him but Blaine jerked his arm away, throwing his clothes into a bag.
"Kurt, just stop. Stop." Kurt opened his mouth but couldn't form words.
"You found someone else, didn't you?" he finally whispered as Blaine zipped up his bag and threw it over his shoulder. "I can't believe you're doing this to me." The reality set in as Blaine headed for the front door. Kurt struggled to breathe. He hurried after Blaine down the hall and grabbed his arm, holding him close. "Please, Blaine, please don't... Please don't go, please. Please, I need you. I love you. Please..." He was sobbing. "I love you, I love you and I need you and I don't want anyone else I only want you. You can't do this." Blaine didn't say anything. "Please say something, Blaine, please. I love you." He pressed a firm, desperate, wet kiss to Blaine's mouth, pouring every ounce of hope he had left into it. He looked Blaine in the eye, searching for a flicker of emotion.
"I'll come get my things when you aren't home. Goodbye, Kurt."
The door slammed behind him, and he was gone.
Kurt tried to reason that maybe Blaine had been right, and he would be able to get over it. That they only held on to each other so tightly because they were first loves and they didn't know anything different. Still, he couldn't figure out what had gone wrong, or why Blaine was so determined to leave so suddenly.
The first day Kurt had made himself go back to school, Blaine's things were gone when he returned. All of them. Every single last thing. All that was left of Blaine Anderson were the memories.
Blaine had changed his number, or something. Kurt's calls and texts never went through. Kurt was afraid to change their home answering machine, afraid that once he did, he would never hear his ex-lover's voice again. He didn't even know where Blaine had gone or what he was doing. That killed him.
"Why the hell hasn't Blaine been answering his goddamn?" Clare asked, bursting into the apartment. She froze when she saw the state Kurt was in. "Oh honey, are you okay?" She immediately went to his side and wrapped her arms around him. "What happened, baby? Where's Blaine?"
"I don't know," Kurt croaked. "He left. A while ago..." Clare frowned.
"You broke up?" she asked, sounding very confused. Kurt nodded. "What the hell? Did he tell you why? What even happened? I don't get it."
Clare was one of the best things Kurt had gained from dating Blaine. Clare was Blaine's punk-rock dirty-hipster sister, and she was also one of Kurt's best friends. "I'm so sorry, baby," she said when Kurt simply sobbed in response. "I don't know what the hell is going through his head right now. I'll try to find him to talk to him, but I haven't been able to reach him... But let's get you cleaned up a little, okay?" Kurt shook his head. "Honey, you have to take care of yourself. Have you even eaten anything?" He shook his head again.
"I would only throw it up, anyway," he said.
"How long has this been going on? I didn't know..."
"About a week." Clare stared at him.
"It's been a week? Kurt, you haven't eaten in a week?"
"I've eaten," he protested. "Just not a lot. I can't." He shook his head.
She brushed his hair out of his face. "Baby, I don't know what's going on right now, but you can't let go of yourself like this. You're a mess. It looks like you haven't eaten or slept at all. And I can already see how much you've been crying... I promise I'll try to figure out what's going on in his head. I love you too, you know." She kissed his head. "Oh Kurt..."
Kurt was holding her for dear life. What if she was all he had left of Blaine? "Why couldn't I have been straight?" he sobbed with a dry laugh, laying his head on her shoulder. He didn't bother to hide how much he was crying. He couldn't deal with this. He couldn't deal with being in that fucking apartment without Blaine.
"Honey, I'll always love you, even if things with you and Blaine don't work out... Have you even left this couch in the past week?" Kurt shook his head.
"Food, bathroom, couch," he said simply. Clare frowned.
"Why aren't you at least sleeping in your room? This can't be comfortable anymore..." Kurt shook his head furiously, covering his face and pulling away from her. He'd tried to go into their room once and panicked.
"I can't even go in there. Clare, his stuff is gone and it feels so fucking empty. It feels wrong. Everything feels wrong. I hate being here. I hate that he isn't going to walk in any minute and kiss me and I can't sleep in that bed knowing he won't be there when I wake up, Clare, I can't..." He sniffed.
"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry..." She held him close again.
"I just... Why did he leave? What did I do wrong? What if he found someone else?"
"Baby I don't think that's the case... Blaine was crazy about you."
"He probably just felt guilty and stayed with me out of pity. I begged him not to go, Clare. I cried and I pleaded and I tried to stop him but he left anyway. I've never felt so terrible in my life. I didn't want this to happen. I didn't think it ever would... I just... I know it's stupid. He was my first boyfriend. High school relationship. But fuck, I want to marry him, Clare. I want him to be here forever and he isn't anymore and I don't know if I can deal with it."
Things didn't get easier.
Clare had to live Kurt's life for him. She had given up on trying to contact Blaine. She called Rachel, who said that Blaine had been there, but that he left after a few weeks. It had been months since Blaine walked out, and Kurt wasn't doing any better. Aside from forcing himself to go to class, he didn't really do anything anymore.
If he needed clothes, Clare had to go into his room to look for them. Kurt refused to go near their bedroom. Clare had to pretty much move in with Kurt to keep an eye on him. She made him eat. She made him sleep. She made sure he wasn't doing anything to hurt himself. Meanwhile, she was dealing with the fact that her brother had vanished and no one knew where the hell he was. Blaine was important to her. They had always been close. She couldn't believe he would just run off without saying a word.
It had been three months, and she had never felt so terrible. She wasn't sure how long she could force Kurt to keep holding on, anymore. They'd already had such a close call...
A bottle of pills sat on the table.
Kurt had been staring at it for hours. Since he got home from work. And he was thinking. A lot. About his dad, his friends, Clare... Blaine... Next to the pills was a razorblade. He had first contemplated slitting his wrists in a bathtub, but that wasn't the most dignified way to be found—naked and bloody. He then considered hanging, but he knew that Clare would be the one to find him and decided that both of those options would be to traumatic for her to discover. So he stared at the pills.
It had been the worst month of his life. He had never felt so terrible. And even with Clare around, it wasn't really better. Actually, Clare just reminded him of Blaine, and then he felt worse. He couldn't make himself call his friends or his family anymore. He felt too guilty for being an angsty bitch all the time. He was sure they were all sick of him by now. They wouldn't want to hear about how he was doing. They already knew. And maybe it was better for all of them if they didn't have to worry about him anymore, either.
If he took the pills, he could just look like he was sleeping. He wouldn't have to deal with missing Blaine anymore. Clare wouldn't have to take care of him anymore. His friends and family would move on and they would have the comfort of at least knowing that he wasn't living in misery anymore. He opened the bottle.
He didn't hear the door open. He didn't hear the keys hit the floor. All he heard was, "No."
His head shot up. Clare stood in the doorway, looking more terrified than Kurt had ever seen her. Kurt's mouth fell open to offer some sort of explanation, to say anything... but no words came. Clare shut the door behind her and walked towards Kurt, never looking away from him. "No, Kurt..." She sunk to her knees. "You can't think like this, honey. Blaine wouldn't want that. Fuck, I can't lose both of you Kurt, please understand that. I know you miss him. I know it's hard, baby, I have to deal with it every day, too. But God, Kurt, you're worth so much more than this."
"I hate this," Kurt muttered. "I hate waking up every morning, Clare. I hate it."
"I know. I know, but you have to. You can't give up. You can't disappear on me too."
They both sobbed until Kurt fell sleep. Clare was terrified to leave him alone again after that.
Blaine hadn't been doing much better.
After leaving Rachel's, he had ran away to L.A. Santana lived there, and she took him in. Blaine and Santana had become friends in high school. He helped her deal with her sexuality and was there for her when she decided to come out. He supported her when she broke up with Brittany to see other people after graduation, knowing that Santana didn't really want it, and that she never got over Britt.
Living with Rachel was too hard. She always said the wrong thing and Blaine felt worse every day. And after his last encounter with Cameron, Blaine wanted anything but to be in the same city as Kurt. Because despite Kurt's protests at Blaine leaving, Cameron said that Kurt was fine. Happy, even. Blaine told himself when he broke up with Kurt that he would move on. He just wasn't expecting it to happen so quickly. And he couldn't handle it.
Living with Santana helped, for a while. She let Blaine curl up in her bed at night so he didn't have to sleep alone. She took care of him and talked to him and she understood why he had done what he did. Blaine broke his phone in anger the night he left Kurt's. He had been staring at it, wanting to call Kurt, to apologize, to take everything back. But he knew he was just being weak and that Kurt would be better without him. So he smashed his phone.
He hadn't bothered to get a new one. There wasn't anyone he wanted to talk to, anyway. Except Kurt. But he couldn't. And the more time passed, the worse Blaine got. He had expected to get better. He thought things were going to get easier. But every day he felt worse. Like the sun wasn't as bright every morning as it had been the day before. Like he had a little less hope. The more he thought about Kurt, and how much he loved him, and how perfect they were, and how much he had honestly believed they would be together forever... the more Blaine realized that he could never make himself want someone else the way he wanted Kurt. The love he had for Kurt was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. Deep down he knew he would never get a second chance at it.
So he started drinking.
Santana always had a good supply of booze. He took it upon himself to raid her liquor cabinet when she was out at work one day and when she got home, he curled up in her lap and sobbed drunken messes of words into her shoulder. He swore that no one would ever love him again. When Santana assured him that she loved him, he tried to kiss her. Santana dragged him to bed, telling him to sleep and sober the hell up.
That was only the first time. Blaine started drinking nearly every day. Sometimes he would cry. Sometimes he wrote angry songs about heartbreak and jealousy. Sometimes he tried to take Santana's phone to call Kurt and beg for him to love him again. Sometimes he convinced himself that he didn't need Kurt, and tried to convince Santana to take him to a club so he could find some strangers to fuck. He always cried himself to sleep. Or passed out. And Santana didn't know what do do anymore.
She tried to keep him from drinking. She really did. She put him on detox, and it worked for a while. He was thinking clearly again, and while he was still unhappy, Santana had less to worry about.
Until the letter came.
Three months. Clare and Kurt had been sitting in the living room, talking, when Clare's phone rang. It was an unfamiliar number with a California area code. "Hello?"
"Anderson, we need to talk."
"Santana?" Clare asked into the phone. Kurt looked confused.
"Put her on speaker," Kurt hissed. Clare did, setting the phone on the coffee table.
"Question, have you talked to Kurt?" Santana asked pointedly. Clare looked confused.
"Yeah I pretty much live with him, why?" she asked.
"Is he dating some dude named Cameron? Gingery indie hipster kid? Glasses?" Kurt was even more confused by that question. Why was Santana asking that?
"What? No, not even close. Kurt isn't dating anyone. Blaine fucking disappeared and Kurt's been so goddamn depressed that he's hardly left the apartment in the past three months." Kurt was surprised it had been that long. "The only time I managed to get him out of here for something other than school, I took him to Starbucks down the street, just to get him some air. And Cameron was there and he asked Kurt how he was doing, since Kurt quit his job the day after Blaine walked out and no one had heard anything from him. And Kurt said he was miserable so Cameron hugged him and Kurt looked really uncomfortable about it and Cameron talked to him for a minute and asked him out and Kurt said no. And then Cameron grabbed Kurt's face and kissed him and said to give him a call if he changed his mind and Kurt slapped the shit out of him. No, they aren't even close to dating. How do you even know who Cameron is and why are you asking?" Clare knew this was a suspicious phone call.
Blaine stared at the phone, where his sister had just spoken from. He was stunned. If what she said was true, then Cameron had lied to him about Kurt being fine and moving on from the beginning.
"That sneaky motherfucker," Santana said, seeing Blaine's shocked expression. "Someone apparently took pictures of Cameron hugging and kissing Kurt and mailed them to Blaine and Blaine's been trying to drink himself into a coma ever since." Clare and Kurt both froze.
"Wait, Blaine's with you? Santana, Blaine has been with you this whole fucking time and you never bothered to fucking tell me? My fucking brother disappeared off the face of the goddamn earth and changed his number and I haven't known if he was even fucking alive for the past three goddamn months and you couldn't even fucking bother to tell me he was okay? What the fuck! And what do you mean he's trying to drink himself into a fucking coma? He's the one who left Kurt, and I've been here taking care of Kurt and making sure he doesn't fucking off himself. And how the hell did Cameron know where Blaine was to send him the pictures, huh? If none of us knew?"
"What? Okay calm down and shut up. A couple of months ago Blaine asked Cameron if he would back off of Kurt some because he was flirting with Kurt like crazy and Kurt never said anything to stop him and it was making Blaine feel like shit so he said something to Cameron. And Cameron said he wasn't going to stop because he wanted Kurt and that Blaine should accept that Kurt only wanted him because they were high school sweethearts and they were comfortable with each other, and that eventually Kurt would realize he didn't want Blaine and their juvenile relationship anymore. And considering Kurt was working all the time, with Cameron, and kept picking up extra shifts, Blaine was fucking freaked out.
And yeah he went about dealing with it the wrong way, but I did the same damn thing with Britt. Sometimes you have to force yourself to see other people or to give someone you love up to see if they come back to you. Blaine's a lot more insecure than he's given credit for and he didn't feel like Kurt really wanted him anymore so he left and stayed with Rachel for a few weeks. And he was going to go back. He went to find Kurt at work since he was supposed to be working that day, apparently he didn't know Kurt quit his job. And he ran into Cameron and Cameron said that Kurt was fine and happy and he was moving on alright and Blaine felt like he was torn to shreds and called me and flew to L.A. He's been moping around my apartment ever since drinking his weight in liquor every other night and feeling sorry for himself. And you mean to tell me that Cameron made all of that shit up?"
Kurt's mouth fell open. Blaine hadn't wanted to leave. Blaine still loved him. Blaine didn't want someone else. He was afraid that Kurt did. Kurt suddenly felt like a horrible boyfriend if he made Blaine feel unloved and unwanted. He regretted so much so quickly. Blaine was just as miserable without him. He couldn't believe it.
"I wasn't exaggerating when I said Kurt hasn't left the apartment, okay? And most of the time, he doesn't even leave the couch. He won't even sleep in their room. He went in there once and broke down crying and he won't sleep in their bed because he doesn't want to wake up without Blaine there. If he needs clothes, I have to go get them. I have to force him to eat because he didn't for over a week before I showed up asking him why Blaine wasn't answering his phone and found him as a fucking wreck. Meanwhile we've both been trying to deal with the fact that Blaine fucking vanished and we were both worried as hell, on top of the fact that Kurt didn't know why he left and felt like his heart was ripped the fuck out of his chest.
So I have to sit here to make sure he eats and sleeps and I have to call him every ten minutes while I'm at work to make sure he doesn't try to fucking kill himself." Kurt winced. He knew he was an inconvenience to Clare. He felt horrible about it. "Because he already fucking tried once and I'm not losing both of them, and this is seriously because of some fucking stupid bullshit that Blaine didn't even bother to try talking to Kurt about? Are you fucking kidding me? All of this shit is over Blaine being fucking insecure of the boy who worships the fucking ground Blaine walks on?" Blaine's heart stopped.
Kurt had tried to kill himself. Because of Blaine. His sister was miserable. Kurt was left alone and miserable for no reason. Blaine had abandoned him, all for nothing. Santana looked at Blaine, who was covering his mouth with his hands, tears rolling down his cheeks. "So now what?" Santana said. "Everyone's miserable. This has all gone to hell. Blaine and Kurt have both fallen apart and you and I are both fucking messes from trying to deal with it. So now what the hell do we do?" Blaine froze as he heard a sniff on the other end of the line.
"You know, every day at three twenty-five I watch the door, hoping he's going to come home. I can't look at a single fucking thing in this house without missing him more and feeling even more miserable. He fucking vanished, Santana. I couldn't even try to get him back because I didn't know where he was and he didn't have a phone and the only way I could even hear his voice was to listen to the fucking recording on our voicemail.
I don't care that he didn't explain. I don't care that he misunderstood and that this was all a huge fucking mistake. I don't care. It doesn't even fucking matter anymore. I feel like a terrible fucking person because I let him feel that way and I let him doubt even a fucking second that he's the entire goddamn world to me and that's the only thing that still matters." Blaine's heart sped up. "I love him to death, Santana. I need him. I don't want anyone else. I never wanted anyone else and I never will. I fucking hate everything but I know that it would all be okay if he just came home. Please make him come back."
Santana looked at Blaine. He was completely stunned. His mouth was open but he couldn't find words. Santana sighed. "Kurt..." A door slammed.
"What was that?" Kurt asked.
"Blaine just walked out," Santana said. "Look, I'm on my house phone and Blaine just took my cell. My guess is he's buying plane tickets cause the boy just looked like he saw his first rainbow or some shit and he didn't even grab any shoes. So I'm just gonna hop off here and drive him to the airport." She hung up without saying anything else, following him out to her car.
He had plane tickets booked before she even locked the front door.
Kurt's eyes widened and his breath quickened as he realized Blaine had heard the whole thing. Blaine was there. Blaine heard him. Blaine loved him.
Blaine was coming home.
"Come on," Clare said. "Get dressed. You have a few hours until he'll be able to get here, but we can meet him at the airport." The realization sunk in and Kurt panicked. He started breathing too quickly. He was sobbing in an instant. Somehow, Clare coaxed him into putting his shoes on. She dragged him out to her car and shoved him into the passenger seat. He sobbed the entire way to the airport.
Blaine would be lucky if Clare didn't kill him once he got back.
Blaine was shaking. He wasn't crying or sobbing, but he was shaking.
"You okay?" Santana asked, looking up from her magazine. Blaine had paid extra to get them on the first flight to New York. He didn't take anything with him. He just hopped on the plane after informing Santana that he needed her for moral support. Blaine shook his head. Santana sighed and closed the magazine.
"I doubted him when he still loved me, Santana. I gave him up instead of talking to him or fighting for him. I'm such a fucking coward that I ran away instead of asking him how he felt about me because I was so afraid to hear him say that he didn't love me anymore that I did whatever I could to avoid it... and for what?" He covered his eyes with his hands and took a deep breath. "We could've been together all this time. Instead of being miserable. Instead of ruining every-fucking-thing. What the hell have I done?"
"You made a mistake, Blaine. Kurt doesn't love you any less for it. If anything, he appreciates you more. Because he knows what it's like to not have you, and I can tell you right now, he's never going to let you two be apart again." She looked at him for a moment before trying to fix his hair for him. "Your relationship was always different. It wasn't just about convenience. Yeah, you two didn't know a lot of other gay guys, so you didn't have the options you both do in New York. But that isn't why Kurt wanted you. It wasn't because you were his only real option. I spent enough time with you two to know that. And I admit, the way you described what this Cameron kid said... I would've done the same thing. I would've freaked out and ran off. I'm not proud to admit that, but I would've."
"You already kind of did," Blaine reasoned. They didn't talk about Brittany a lot. Santana usually changed the subject quickly. But she nodded.
"I did. And I regret it all the time. Not because I don't know she doesn't deserve better... someone who will always be there for her and support her and will never let her down. I know she deserves that. I just hated that I didn't feel like I could be that person for her. I didn't think I could change enough to be hat she deserved. But I know that I love her enough that I would've tried... and I should have. I should have tried. I shouldn't have given up and run off the way I did. And maybe one day she'll forgive me for it. And maybe one day I'll be able to ask her for that forgiveness. And hopefully I won't fuck it up again... You... Blaine, you can't fuck this up again."
"I know."
"You both need each other. I know I can be a vindictive bitch but I hate seeing you like this. You know, you and Kurt gave me the courage to come out. To stand up and be with Britt no matter what anyone else thought. You made me believe that being happy with someone I loved was all that mattered and I shouldn't let anyone else get in the way of that. And when I gave up on Britt, you were there for me and you understood. But when you gave up on Kurt, it was like... I didn't even know what to think anymore. I didn't think it was possible for you two to fall apart. I thought you two could do anything together." Blaine hung his head in shame.
Santana took his hand and squeezed it. "You know what?" she said. "I was right." Blaine looked up at her. "You and Kurt can do anything. And you can get through this. And you can move on and be happy again because you're it. You're the couple that's going to make it. That douche fuck Cameron said that you're just a high school couple. But you aren't. Every rule has exceptions, and you guys are going to be it. Everyone fucks up. Some of us more than others. And everyone ends up hurting someone they love eventually, whether they want to or not. But you can fix this. And I know you will. And I know that if you don't make me your goddamn best bitch in your wedding after this shit, I will take your genitals and keep them in a fucking jar on my bookshelf."
"Thank you, Santana." His eyes were misted with un-shed tears as his friend shrugged and pulled him into a tight embrace. Maybe if Kurt and Blaine could work things out, she and Britt could, too.
Kurt stared out the window at the airport. He wasn't crying anymore, but he was still having a hard time controlling his breathing. Clare rubbed his back in an attempt to calm him. It wasn't working, but she didn't stop.
Every time a plane landed, Kurt perked up and held his breath, until he realized it wasn't the right one. They had been sitting in the airport for hours. Santana texted them the flight information so they knew which gate to wait at, but they hadn't heard anything else.
Kurt was panicking more as the minutes went on. What if Blaine changed his mind and didn't show up? What if he backed out and didn't get on the plane? What if Blaine saw him and realized that coming back was a mistake, and that he really didn't want Kurt anymore? What if-
The plane touched down. Kurt jumped up, running to the gate where Blaine would hopefully be appearing in moments. And he waited. And Clare squeezed his hand. And he waited. And he waited. And the first passenger appeared. And the second...
Blaine ran out like a madman, pushing past people and looking around wildly to find—there. There he was. His face was red and puffy and tear-stained and his hair was a mess and he wasn't dressed up or anything and Blaine couldn't bring himself to care. He knew he probably looked just as bad and ran full-force at Kurt, nearly tackling him to the floor. And Kurt sobbed into his shoulder, squeezing him for dear life. And Blaine stuttered out apologies and "I love yous" and pressed his lips desperately to Kurt's.
Santana and Clare stood together, sharing knowing looks as Kurt and Blaine cried and kissed and sobbed and apologized and stuttered out broken phrases. They left kisses all over each other's faces and never once loosened their holds on each other. Like they couldn't bear to ever be apart again.
Twenty minutes later, they started to calm down. And they just looked at each other. And they would kiss occasionally. Kurt would say, "I miss you," to which Blaine would reply, "You're so fucking beautiful." And for the first time in ages, they knew that things would be okay.