A/N I seriously can not handle Eclare being split. Over it. This was inspired by AAR's Straightjacket Feeling and listened to repeatedly during typing this. I don't own anything ever. Review pretty please? I'm trying to decide if this is a one shot or not.

"Back me down from backing up
Hold your breath now it's stacking up
Etched with marks, but I can deal
And you're the problem and you can't feel
Try this on, straightjacket feeling
so maybe I won't be alone
Take back now, my life you're stealing

Yesterday was hell but
Today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be,
That face is staring holes in me again"

-Straightjacket Feeling, AAR

Clare's eyes darted back down to the charcoal black envelope resting in her lap. For the past hour it had sat burning a hole in her dress. After a few glasses of cheap wine she had almost willed herself to flip it right side up again to reveal the silver letters embossed on the return address.

"Elijah Goldsworthy"

The letter was the first communication they had since his graduation. The conversation had been simple, reconciliatory, and forgiving. Now in college, her mind flickered back to Eli occasionally and she supposed he might do the same. She was able to appreciate the lessons they had shared. Even more she could smile when thinking of his smirks and how her heart would race when he'd kiss her. She hoped he had a similar memory of her.

Clare smiled gently at how the thought of their young love still made her blush sometimes. She still would think of him when meeting a new pair of green eyes. There were even times when she thought of sending him a draft of a paper, but of course never did. She was perfectly over her perfectly charming first love.

Yet here she sat in her old room during Christmas break staring at a letter sent to her home like it was an ancient artifact; an ancient artifact that held some hideous curse like in the old testament. The scarier thought was the letter could contain something wonderful, a chance to reconnect. Clare's brows furrowed as she rolled over her last thought. She hadn't any idea when she'd decided she wanted to rekindle with him.

But why shouldn't she? It had been nearly two years since they spoke. Although if Clare paused she'd have to consider that the wine was speaking currently.

Quickly she poured another glass of wine and chewed her lower lip thoughtfully. She was acting insane. A little envelope had opened a Pandora's Box of possibilities. Clare placed the envelope on her bed and crossed to her closet. Standing on her tip toes while slightly swaying from her wine she felt around for an old shoebox. Plopping on the ground she furiously dug through it for a number long lost through new phones and experiences. She grinned and brought it over to the bed.

The call could be casual, just a check in from an old friend. Or it could be creepy, just a stalking from an old girlfriend. Clare groaned. She was going to ban herself from wine.

She had a glass of wine for the first time with Eli on graduation night. It was this surreal moment at the end of the night. They had found themselves alone and the slightly formal conversation had halted. He had cocked his eyebrow when she produced a bottle from her purse.

"Ms. Edwards, when did you become such a rebel?"

Clare had blushed but attempted to seem cool as she stated, " I apprehended it from my parents."

They fumbled with an equally stolen corkscrew and had to sip from the bottle. Clare had fallen from ideal student to trashy girl drinking behind a wall. After about half the bottle Clare needed to track down Alli and escape the silence. With lips stained red, Clare stood up and went to kiss Eli goodnight on the cheek but he turned and pressed gently against her lips. Clare looked up with confused eyes, but before she could process or ask anything Eli whispered, "Goodnight Clare." He turned and walked back into the party leaving Clare breathless. It was only later she had found a letter shoved in her purse which contained a paragraph from a new story he had begun and the signature "yours, Eli."

Now she bought her own wine and drank out of glasses. She worked on her own stories without his edits and went on dates with boys without eyeliner. Things had changed but Eli's ability to leave her breathless hadn't changed after all this time. Although now it came only in an occasional flash of a memory instead of his fingers tangled in her curls.

Suddenly her heart was filled with courage and she ripped the envelope open, eager for possibilities. Tossing it aside she fumbled with the card stuck in it.

Alli pushed open her best friend's door the next morning and was shocked to find two empty bottles of wine and a passed out Clare. She went to wake her up and ask when she became a wino who skipped out on coffee dates. As she leaned over the bed to the gently snoring Clare she picked up a card stuck to her leg.

"Elijah Goldsworthy and Sara Black
Warmly invite you to share in their wedding"

A/N: I love them. I want eclare forever and I don't need flames about it. Review please and thanks.