white room
/
Ichigo wakes up one morning and sees there's a girl in his mirror. Not in the room, just in the mirror.
It doesn't hit him at first; its too weird, and its too early in the morning for this shit, and hes just woken up so his eyes are still slightly blurry. Everything else is the same; a pile of clothing in one corner of the room, his desk mostly cluttered except for where the keyboard is, posters of his favourite artists covering the beige walls. Everything, except for his mirror.
He gets up, pads out to the toilet, and then finds something to eat. His parents have already left for work, and his siblings are still knocked out in bed.
Shes still there in the mirror when he returns to his room. Her back is to him, so he cant see her face, but her hair is black and shoulder length and shes wearing pyjamas with rabbits on them. Hes not sure what shes doing. Agonizing over what to wear? Meditating?
"Oi," he says. She doesn't turn around.
Ichigo leaves the room, because he refuses to get changed in front of a girl, even if that girl is not looking at him and is stuck inside a mirror. He goes to the bathroom, instead.
He comes back in, packs his bag while studiously avoiding it and then, with his back to it, he says to the air determinedly or it wont work,
"You better be gone when I get back."
The mirror doesn't answer, and he leaves.
/
At school, he logs onto the internet during the break and looks up hallucinations.
Auditory hallucinations are a trademark of schizophrenia and he definitely hadn't heard anything that wasn't there. His Mirror-Girl is very much visual. Its a relief, he realizes, to know that hes not entirely a basket case, though that still doesn't explain the fact he is seeing things.
Seeing things, in his mirror. Maybe he should get rid of it. Maybe its broken.
"Yo, Ichigo, what are you doing? Its break time," says Tatsuki from behind him, as she peers over his shoulder.
"Nothing."
"Schizophrenia? You crazy now?" she smirks.
"Bite me." Ichigo shuts the window and resolves to do his research away from school.
/
The Mirror-Girl is not there when he returns. Ichigo releases a breath he doesnt realize he was holding.
/
He has days of peace within the privacy of his room, and its easy for him to think that perhaps it was a one-off, until he sees the Mirror-Girl walk into view. Shes small, with big eyes. He stares at her.
She stares back. Its quite possible the reason her eyes are so big is because her eyes are wide.
His heart is pumping, his mouth is dry, and he wants to get something heavy so that he can smash the damn thing into tiny pieces and get rid of that girl.
Her mouth moves. He can't hear her - it's not schizophrenia - and he doesn't want to. Ichigo bursts out of the room and runs to the library.
/
The internet says that people can experience hallucinations without being insane. The internet says that there is something called peduncular hallucinosis wherein the subject experiences hallucinations (mostly in the evening), but that the subject is fully conscious and can interact with the hallucination even if they are aware of what it is.
Ichigo doesn't read further.
The walls of the library are white. He walks into the outside, underneath the blue skies.
/
When he finally returns home, it is evening; the perfect time for him to start seeing things.
"How was your day, honey?" asks his mother.
He mumbles a reply around his food. The conversation blurs around him; he focuses on his vegetables, chewing purposefully, then on the meat, and leaves the mound of rice for last.
"Not hungry today?" booms his father. Ichigo nearly chokes.
The old mans a doctor. Does he know? What would he say?
"Eh."
"Ichigo's hurrying so he can escape," mutters Karin around her drink.
"Will you help me with my homework?" pipes up Yuzu.
He mumbles another reply, pushes away his cleaned plate, and pads upstairs.
Mirror-Girl is not there, but she very kindly taped a note there for him to read. Ichigo brushes his fingers against the note, expecting to feel the slight indentations of the edges of paper. Instead, he just feels mirror, smooth beneath his fingers. He slowly runs a finger down the note. If his mother came in and cleaned the room, would she see it? His fingers are leaving a smudge on the glass.
Can you see me? Who are you?
/
Ichigo ignores the note for several days. It remains there at the edge, taunting him, the black lines of Japanese kana stark against the white.
His mother goes in and cleans his room, occasionally; he knows this because the pile of clothing disappears one day and his desk has been neatened slightly. She doesn't comment on the note, though, and she doesn't give him strange looks.
That day, Ichigo takes a piece of paper and scribbles a few words on it, then tapes it onto the mirror, words face down, around chest height, to the side.
I can. Who the hell are you? Get out of my mirror.
He doesn't see her leave the reply, but there is one the next day. Me, get out of your mirror? Fool. I could say the same of you. Get out of mine.
Ichigo's not sure what to think. His hallucination thinks that hes a hallucination. Or something. Hes afraid to ask.
They exchange notes back and forth, sniping at each other. Its easier to do that than think of the alternative.
For a man to demand that a lady remove herself from his presence when said presence is completely involuntary is ungentlemanly, to say the very least. But I suppose an uncouth monkey like you wouldnt know any better.
Bitch, he writes back.
To hide the fact that hes writing a note to his mirror he takes to writing lists on the blank side of the paper. Homework that he has due, books he needs to borrow, what hed like for dinner the next day (in case his mother decides to read it). Sometimes on his notes, he says, Get lost, old man.
/
Somewhere in the flurry of notes they leave each other, Ichigo tells her his name, and eventually learns that hers is Rukia, and that she likes bunnies. (Its easier to ask then call her Mirror-Girl, though he supposes that bitch would do just as well).
/
Well, I got my report today, and my teacher says that I'm getting good marks and interacting with the other kids very well, so I must not be insane.
Fool. What does your school report have to do with that?
Idiot, if I were insane, my life would be seriously in the pits now. Bad marks, and everything. Stuff like that.
She leaves a note with a hand giving him the finger drawn on it. I suppose that is a good point. My family has not commented on anything strange, and I am still top in my class. (Shes drawn a tiny little squiggle to the side. Ichigo thinks that its meant to be a rabbit holding up a victory sign.)
Sometimes, he talks about nothing. Keigo and the others are getting on my case again.
About that girl? Inoue? She liiiiikes you, though, comes Rukia's reply, covered with love hearts and glitter.
Shut up. (He doesn't see it, not really. The girl can barely look at him.)
Do you even know what a girl is?
There's you, but I'm not sure you count, he replies, smirking. Rukia leaves him an obscene picture of something. It looks like two rabbits making out. Process of elimination tells him that its meant to be him and Inoue and-
How did you know what Inoue looks like?!
Eh? What are you talking about? I just drew a girl with a really dynamite body!
A rabbit with a really dynamite body. The image is horrifying enough that Ichigos brain shuts down.
One day, Rukia says, Renji has been teasing me about the notes. I don't think he turned them over, but Brother has been giving me strange looks, and Sister gave me a diary.
Ichigos not sure what to say. Write out school notes on the front, or something.
I draw pictures on them. I like drawing.
Whats wrong with sticking pictures on a mirror? But then again, Ichigo's seen her drawings.
/
It is difficult to accept that Rukia exists, and Ichigo often thinks to himself that he shouldn't be encouraging this because what if hes just digging himself deeper? He sits in front of the mirror one day and thinks about it, and then all of a sudden, Rukia is there too, sitting in front of him. Its the second time hes seen her in motion, there, physically, or about as physical as a person-in-a-mirror can get.
The first time they looked at each other, Ichigo ran away, because he didn't want to be insane. He still doesn't want to be. He doesn't want to end up in a straitjacket or whatever, but Rukia's there. He doesn't have any of her notes, but he has the ones that hes written to her. Surely that must count for something?
She has a notepad in her lap, and a pen, and he has one within reach.
What do you want?
Why, Ichigo, if I didn't know you better, Id think that you were unhappy to see me! She smiles sunnily at him, and he blanches because girls who smile like that only do it when they're trying to scare somebody.
/
Sometimes, she asks about his family.
Whats there to know, he says crossly. A mother, a demon-father, and two baby sisters. The end. She already knows all that. Rukia arches an eyebrow at him primly then smiles sweetly.
In class today, and her tone is mocking, Ichigo knows this like he knows the sky is blue, sensei told us to write about one of our friends and their family, and I chose you.
Ichigo stares at her. No, really, whats there to know?
Just tell me, fool!
Its good that they sit on opposite sides of glass, because Ichigo has a feeling that hed be in a lot of pain right now if he doesn't comply with her wishes. Two sisters, mother, father. My sisters are Karin and Yuzu. Karin's the tomboy, Yuzu likes the ribbons and the dresses. Come to think of it, she and Rukia dress similarly.
Do you spend time with them?
I help with their homework if they ask. Either that, or my mother does it. The old man dramatises everything; its quieter if one of us takes over.
Don't you want to know about my family? Ichigo doesn't write anything, because Rukia will tell him anyway.
She suddenly gets up and darts out of sight, then Ichigo sees in the background somebody's legs, in denim, walk in. The legs turn and walk out, and a moment later, Rukia follows (her hand waves sharply at him).
/
Rukia is carefully working her way through a bowl of plums, notepad on one knee, pen in hand. Usually its Ichigo who does the snacking, while Rukia sits there and looks primly hungry; something about it being ungraceful and unladylike to sprawl on the floor and gorge on food. Before today, Ichigo had vaguely entertained the idea that hallucinations couldn't eat, and did not do so to maintain the illusion.
Sister and Brother have gone out to dinner with Kaien-san and Miyako-san, and have given me leave to do whatever I wish.
You know, most people would throw a party, with booze. You're eating plums.
Such is the life of a wild child. Tell me more about your manga.
Don't you have it where you are? She always wants to know about random things.
Yes, but we have different stories!
Later on, she takes a snapshot of him with a camera before he can write his protest. Rukia holds the camera at chest height and aims the lens at him, then snaps. She does not look at the screen. Only at him.
What was the point of that, he wants to know. He suddenly feels sick, staring at the camera, and he doesn't want to know the picture, or for her to know it either. Get rid of it.
Why, she scribbles, it's a memento of our time together! (This drawn with a rabbit holding a camera.) Her face is different, though. They stare at each other, and then she ejects the USB and tosses it into the trash can. She takes out her sketchpad, instead.
Hold still, so I can draw you, Ichigo, and he lets her.
/
In the dark of the night, he wakes up, and sees a shadow sitting with its back to his mirror. A tiny light burning from a candle on the other side brightens a small circumference, revealing the hem of a blue dress. Rukia's shoulders are hunched, her legs crossed to one side.
Ichigo falls asleep with his back against the mirror.
/
There is a small period of time, where he does not see her, only her notes. Sister and Brother are concerned that my marks have fallen so much and so I am going to cram school. I should not be distracted so much, and neither should you.
He does study, though his marks aren't as spectacular as hers seem to be (full marks, except once, when she got a 94 on a math test. They can't possibly be freaking out over that, can they?). Hes mostly been able to maintain his, so he's safe, and slight dips have never concerned his parents. Rukia doesn't say anything, but somehow, Ichigo knows that her brother doesn't help her with her math homework.
She comes back soon enough, with a chappy blanket to lie on, so she can study comfortably, and make random faces back at Ichigo, or scribble messages at him.
/
Rukia always looks pleased with herself and Ichigo knows that he always looks annoyed, but still, they sit in front of the mirror and pass each other notes. Sometimes, he does his homework there while she watches and asks questions, and a lot of the time she does her homework while he lies back and reads a magazine. Sometimes, there is a silence, while they both work.
Rukia likes to inflict her artwork on him, and he likes to quote Shakespeare to her.
/
(This is how it is going to be, he guesses.)
/
One day, she is gone, and there is no note.
Ichigo does not think much of it at first, because people have off days. Perhaps she was in a hurry.
Time passes slowly. Its hard to breathe.
Oi, where are you?
He should be relieved. He remembers wanting so much for it to be a dream. Instead, he finds himself checking the mirror when he should be studying. If he wakes up at night, though, he does not turn on the light. It is too quiet in the dark, with nothing to expect.
Nobody else is aware of her absence, because Rukia was never truly there to begin with.
Ichigo touches the cool glass of his mirror, where her note would be if she left it. Rukia always taped it on the opposite side of his, slightly lower, because she was shorter.
He thinks that something must have happened to her (maybe), because the idiot was so full of herself and always had to tell him what she was doing (as if he cared). Its just like her to be so inconsiderate; Rukia was always wanking on about his behaviour, and he wants to hit her for being a hypocrite.
Ichigo should be relieved that this is over, but.
-
He touches the mirror; hell go there to find her someday, just so he can shake some manners into her.