AN: I'm not sorry.
000
On a very bright sunny fluffy happy day Hidan decided, in a fit of lucidity, to become a televangelist. And not only was this the greatest idea he had ever had, it was the greatest idea ever concieved of and Kakuzu needed to shut up.
So anyway, after he procured (note: stole) the necessary funds to buy a half hour block on some backwater public channel, because this totally happens in Japan, because the author is the most authoritative on Japanese culture ever you can tell.
Pretty soon he was wearing an open blazer and had a pulpit and everything.
The ministrations were about to begin.
Now, these weren't any ordinary ministrations. These were known to make hardened men weep. They wept for their hardened aching cocks couldn't get no relief (seriously).
The women weren't safe from the dashing young evangelist, either. They swooned, clutching their throbbing breasts to their chests and choking on the air in their lungs from his beauty (seriously). Their womanly centers ached as well for the deliverance Hidan's weeping dick would bring (for serious).
And the children?
Who cares?
Well, once Hidan woke up from his terrible (but strangely amazing) dream, he stabbed himself. A lot.