The nights blended into days and the days blended into weeks before it all became a long blur and ten years had passed. Harry, Sweet Harry. He must be the spitting image of James by now. He must have a wonderful family if Dumbledore had anything to do with it, he must be treated as their own son, that boy must be like Harry's own brother, they must talk about Lily and James and tell Harry all the wonderful stories, about their wedding and James mucking up his vows! About when Lily fell pregnant and James passing out, they must all enjoy speaking about the brother and sister, the mother and father and the Auntie and Uncle that was taken much too soon from them, even if Petunia was horrible to Lily, she must love this boy, That beautiful little Harry. After all, it was Lily's boy...He was Lily's boy.
When you've been confined to the same space for almost ten years, you kind of feel a bit...Bored a lot of the time. When I was younger, Before this hell became my life, if I was bored I would go to Lils and James's house and play with Harry, Or annoy James... Or even show Lily my newest tattoo and she'd go a funny colour and tell me to put my shirt back on and stop writing all over myself. God how I miss her, I miss her telling me and James off for waking Harry, I miss her for making that face when I got a new tattoo, I miss it when she'd come over and sit and cry because she'd gotten no sleep, and needed a friend... And I miss her for just being there, even when James wasn't around I knew Lily would always be pleased to see me, She'd make me a cup of tea and I'd bawl my heart out to her and she'd tell me it would all be okay in the morning, make me smile and Harry would give me a really needed cuddle.
How I remember when Lily asked me to be Harry's godfather, The smile that James had the look of shock and utter love for his wife, The smile that crossed my own and the tears that rolled down my cheeks, the way she asked me and the pride within her eyes when I said yes, Her small voice going. "So, What is the godfather of my son wearing to his godsons Christening?" How I will never until the day I die forget the small smile that worked on her lips when I asked her whom she was talking too...
James was my best friend and when your inside the same place for so damn long, you remember things you regret saying, things you will never get to take back, even the little things that don't matter in the great scale of things! Little things I would say too him. The curses I threw to him. Why did we have to be so damn well stupid? Why did we have to not think about the fact that one day... One day that I hoped would never be as near as it was, we would be parted and one of us would have all theses horrible things to regret, all theses things we needed to say.
I even tried writing them both a letter, one to Harry also... But words and feelings get too attached to the papers and you can't let them go. I can't say the Goodbyes I put in the letters, I can't say I miss you aloud because saying theses things would admit you're gone, even though I know your gone, It doesn't mean everyone has to know that I know it, does it? I can keep some things still to myself. Not that any one would listen, being a "MASS MURDER" And all, Doesn't go down well for the application for someone to talk to...
Well, I got life in the end, but I wont be in here tha
