A/N: So I wrote this the same night as "Chupacabra" aired, so it's got jack-all to do with anything after that. I kinda went off on this "what if…" mental tangent, and this is what came out. Daryl/OC. And honestly there are parts where I'm well-aware Daryl's REALLY OOC, but I think in the context of the story it makes a little sense. Ish.
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Hershel sure had comfy beds, Daryl mused. He was supposed to be resting, but he wouldn't be Daryl Dixon if he did what he was told. So he wasn't resting, he was 'taking a break' (and if it just so happened it was a break ordered by Lori, well, he'd been tired anyway. Didn't mean he was scared of her or nothin'.)
So anyways, he was 'taking a break' when he heard the roar of a motorcycle in the drive of Hershel's house.
"I KNOW that punkass Asian motherfucker ain't taking Merle's bike out. Even the damn chink ain't that dumb." he snarled, forcing himself to his feet to investigate.
He'd reached the first floor and saw Maggie in the doorway talking to someone.
'or maybe it's a newcomer' he mentally added as an afterthought before a familiar voice caught his attention, "- just need a place to stay and regroup for a few days 'fore I start trying to find my husband again…"
"Avery?" Daryl yelped, completely floored.
"Daryl?" came the voice and a head full of dark brown curls shoved it's way past Maggie and hurled itself into his arms and he inhaled her familiar vanilla-and-turpentine scent.
"Daryl?" Rick's voice interrupted, "mind telling' us who this is?"
Avery pulled away, offering her hand to Rick, "Avery Johnson. Mrs. Daryl Dixon."
The fuzz in Daryl's brain started to wear off and it finally registered that Avery was alive. And here. With him. And hadn't been bit by no walkers. And did he mention ALIVE?
He grabbed her and yanked her into a fierce kiss, curling his hands into her hair and mentally thanking every diety he'd ever heard of for this miracle.
Finally breaking their kiss, he gasped, "Holy fuckin' shit. You're here." he pulled away and did a sort of victory dance and spread his arms wide, "you hear that? She's here! I can die a fuckin' happy man now!" he whooped.
Avery grinned at him indulgently, curling her hands over his shoulders and pulling him close, before ramming her knee between his legs.
Daryl bent over with a choking noise, "the fuckin' hell was that for woman?"
"THAT is for leaving me in Atlanta you arrogant son of a bitch." she snarled at him, before slapping him across the face, "and THAT is for leaving me with YOUR MOTHER when you did!" she screeched.
The room was silent as everyone took in the fact that this tiny little green-eyed woman had kicked Daryl in the 'nads.
Daryl leaned against the wall, "Ave. Baby. 'm sorry. Merle dragged me the fuck outta dodge when shit we down."
"You know, for a woman who made it a point to look like death, that woman is fuckin' hard to kill. Jesus." Avery was still ranting, "You'd think she'd have given up from the start, but Oh No, NOW she wants to live! And you left me with her! For months!"
"Avery."
"The fact that my Wonderful mother is walker food, but that old hag 's still alive to torture me is complete injustice, I tell you what..."
"Avery!" Daryl shouted.
"What?" she snapped back.
He kissed her again, fiercely, both of them battling for dominance, until they both pulled away panting, and he rested his forehead against hers, "I'm so fuckin' glad you're alive, baby."
She frowned (most likely at having her rant interrupted) Up at him and then smiled softly, "I thought I was never gonna find you."
He grinned down at her, "So Ma's alive?"
Avery glowered at him, "and kickin' like the fuckin' crazy-ass redneck bitch she is." she informed him darkly.
"So where is she?"
"Still up to her same ol' tricks, so I'd imagine with whatever man she's found that'll put up with her. Can't believe you left me with her!"
She went to shove Daryl again when Hershel's voice rang out, "m gonna have t'ask you not to abuse m'patient, missy."
Avery paused, "Patient?" she took in Daryl's bandages on both his head and chest, and her eyes narrowed, "Oh hell. Tell me you didn't get bit, Daryl. Or so help me God, I will blow your brains out myself!"
Daryl grinned at her dopily, "'love you too, Ave."
"Daryl!" she snapped, grabbing a a fistful of his shirt and yanking his face level with hers, "Did. You. Git. Bit."
He chuckled, wrapping both arms around her, "nah, baby, jus' fell off a cliff."
Glenn snickered, "And that's the version that makes him look good."
Avery raised an eyebrow, "Fell off a cliff, huh?"
Daryl held up his hands, "Baby, it weren't no big thing. Jus' got distracted and made some mistakes. 't's good."
"Mistakes? You got so messed up Andrea thought you were a walker and nearly took your head off!" Dale chastised.
"Daryl?" Avery asked, voice low and dangerous in that way that usually meant she was about to knock someone's block off (usually Merle) and unfortunately it was directed at him, "Wanna explain to me how in the hell THAT happened?"
Daryl growled, "Woman would you take a fucking breath! 'm FINE!"
"I fuckin' well WILL when you explain how in the hell you were mistaken for a walker." she growled up at him.
Daryl threw up his hands, "Fine! You want the story? I was stupid and distracted and got thrown off a horse, down a ravine, got stabbed with m'own arrow, killed two walkers, hiked back here on foot, and was so messed up Andrea thought I was a Walker and nearly blew my brains out! Happy?"
Avery's eyes were wide as she listened and then narrowed dangerously, "Which one's Andrea?" she asked.
Daryl rolled his eyes, "Hell naw, baby. She's messed up enough over it. You don't need to go 'defend my honor' or some stupid shit like that. I'm fine."
Avery shoved his hand away, "YOUR honor? Fuck your honor! 'm talking 'bout MY honor you idiot! Bitch shot my man!"
Daryl wrapped an arm around her even as she struggled, reaching up and cupping her face with the other, "and I'm FINE. No need to make her feel worse."
She slumped against him, "you could have died." she murmured softly into his chest.
He wound both arms tight around her and tenderly kissed her forehead, "Baby... I thought you WERE dead."
"Hell." she sniffled, burying her face farther in his shirt.
Dale leaned over to T-Dogg and mused, "Almost makes you wish Merle were around to tell us if this is normal for them..."