Author's note: This 'story' was created for the sole purpose of explaining why some pairings work and why some pairings don't. I hope you enjoy and perhaps take inspiration from these pairings to create your own stories.

1. Skipper/Julian - The magnetism between these two is generated by the classic magnetic pull of a positive and a negative charge, which is enough to make a relationship between these two interesting. They also seem to have as many similarities to each other as they do differences (Competitive drive, leadership skills, tendency to lose temper, etc) but the key reason I ranked this couple in the leading spot is that in the show Julian seems to have a need to have Skipper's attention constantly focused on him. I view this as a hint of a possible one-sided romantic thing between the two since I did know a girl who used a similar tactic to try to get my attention back in Elementary school. Of course if it were only a one-sided romance it would likely receive a lower spot on the list, so there has to be a reason I placed it on top right? Well the reason is that Skipper seems to reciprocate these feelings as best as he can by putting up with Julian and not actually giving him incentive to stop his antics unless they annoy him past his breaking point (Everyone has limits after all), which could mean that although Skipper enjoys Julian's company he doesn't wish to pursue a romantic relationship with King Julian (or anyone really) because of his responsibilities as the squad leader. It's a very interesting coupling supported in part by the show, although admittedly I do have a tendency to read too much into things :)

2. Skipper/Marlene - The most popular pairing on the archive, and for good reason, this pairing is so canon it's not even funny anymore and there's so many hints of their feelings for each other that you almost expect some kind of scene whenever they're in the same room with each other. Marlene has a tendency to tease Skipper in the same way that King Julian teases Skipper (See number 1) and Skipper similarly does not give her incentive to stop. The fact that they appear to be more compatible with one another would normally place them in the number 1 spot (added to the fact that they seem to actually hang out with each other on a casual basis and seem to enjoy each other's company) the relationship has two minor flaws. The first flaw is that they are quite simply too compatible in their relationship, which means that their relationship wouldn't have the spark or the excitement of a relationship between Julian and Skipper. The second flaw is that Marlene is a little more calm in her teasing, striking directly at Skipper's pride when she does feel a little mischievous or teasing him from the background after another animal instigated the teasing. It appears as though Marlene likes Skipper but is afraid to tell him her feelings, which is quite the opposite of the impulsive King Julian.

3. Skipper/Private - Admittedly there is quite a bit of Skipper/Whoever on this list, this is simply because on the show Skipper seems to be the alpha-male and in the wild the animals seem to go for the alpha-male. Skipper is also, more-or-less, the main character on the show and as a result gets into more scenes with various characters on the show than pretty much anybody else. The reason that private and Skipper would go well as a couple is that they balance each other out perfectly, they counteract each other so well that it's quite scary how they could be friends. However the couple cannot exist on the show and could probably only exist in some kind of alternative universe storyline. The reason for this is that Private is adorable and cute, but these qualities on a man might repel the military-minded Skipper who is subject to the belief that all men must be strong and independent. So naturally Private would likely have to a have gender change to become a girl, to which Skipper would probably immediately snatch this newfound girl up in his arms and bring her to a wedding chapel. The age-difference is another factor that would probably be an issue since Skipper probably sees private as being too young for a romantic relationship, likewise Private probably doesn't know what romance is.

4. Kowalski/Rico - This couple works out because of two main ideals. The first is the formula that opposites seem to attract one another, and you honestly can't get any more opposite than this couple. The second ideal is that these two both have needs that almost nobody in the zoo would be able to satisfy. Rico needs somebody to teach him and Kowalski needs someone to teach. Although this makes a relationship between these two interesting and possibly canon it's their friendship and how they interact with each other during the show itself that earned this couple the number four spot on this list.

5. Marlene/Julian - This couple is the worst and the best coupling currently on the archive and as a result it could either be placed on the highest spot or the lowest spot on this list. I'll try to explain my reasoning on it's high placement on the list as best as I can. First of all, these two absolutely despise each other on the show, which unlike their annoyance of Skipper, actually sometimes leads to fist fights between the two characters. They also seem to be on opposite teams during the zoo wars, with Marlene almost always aiding Skipper and Julian almost always going against Skipper. These two have had little direct contact (Casual conversation) and only interact with one another when one of them has something to gain. This couple has gained it's high placement on the list however through what seems to be left unsaid between the two characters. It feels as though these characters are very similar to each other and if a relationship should form between them it would likely prove fruitful for both of them. Their many similarities contrasted with their few (but very large) difference would cause such a relationship to work. The tricky part about writing a story for this coupling is quite simply finding a way to make them focus on their similarities rather than their differences.

6. Kowalski/Julian - When you have a character like Kowalski who is mostly brains and very little else most authors make the very basic mistake of pairing him with an equally intelligent character, normally an original character. This is a very amateurish mistake since Kowalski as a character doesn't need someone to compete with in intellectual disputes quite the opposite, Kowalski needs someone stupider than him to keep his fragile ego afloat and to pass on his knowledge to. As a result King Julian would be an ideal match for Kowalski, and could perhaps have earned a spot on this list higher than Kowalski/Rico if not for two flaws. The first flaw is that Kowalski and Julian are on opposite sides in the power struggle in the zoo between Skipper and Julian. The second flaw is that King Julian is incredibly vain and would probably not admit to being less intelligent than Kowalski in order to become the student Kowalski quite obviously needs.

7. Private/Mort - An unusual coupling due to the fact that these two both have a lot of growing up to do before even thinking of having a relationship with one another. Private's personality and character seems to be in the process of being developed as does Mort's, so it's difficult to say exactly what a relationship between these two would be like in the future when their characters do change into something a little more mature. This makes the pairing interesting since an author can use his/her imagination a lot more to envision what the grown up characters would be like and how their personalities would interact with one another. Normally such an idea would be considered a long-shot and would be placed a lot lower on the list (possibly scraping the bottom) but the pairing is saved due to the fact that Private and Mort seem to interact with each other quite well on the show and appear to share a type of friendship. This friendship that they seem to share could be considered a sign of a budding romance that might (or might not) bloom when they mature.

8. Kowalski/Maurice - This coupling completely contradicts with my previous statements about how Kowalski needs someone who is less intelligent than him in order to pass his knowledge on and to stimulate his ego. Whilst normally a pairing between two characters of superior intelligence would rank a lot lower on this list, here the pairing seems to work because these characters both have intelligence in different fields. Kowalski's knowledge is impractical in most situations and is mostly based o facts and figures. Maurice's knowledge is more practical and is based on common sense as well as his knowledge of people and how they sem to interact with one another. This essentially means that these two characters need to learn from each other, and given their intelligence levels they should be able to absorb more information from each other. The flaw in this coupling is that whilst Maurice serves under an imbecilic leader (Julian) and enjoys complaining about him Kowalski serves under an inspiring leader (Skipper) and as a result probably enjoys paying homage to him in private conversations. Kowalski's allegiance to Skipper completely contradicts Maurice's dislike of Julian and could cause conflict between these two characters if they ever did form a relationship with each other.

9. Hans/Blowhole - These characters both only made one appearance on the show before disappearing permanently so it is quite difficult to pinpoint exactly how a relationship between these two would work out. But based on what I have seen of these two characters I believe they would fit together quite well if they were to start a relationship with each other. They are both quite eccentric and they both share a hatred of Skipper that generates from past encounters with the heroic penguin. They are also very vain and as a result a seemingly perfect match for these two villains would be someone who is just like them, which seems to give evidence towards this pairing. As with #7 this pairing requires a small amount of imagination to decipher how exactly these characters could meet and how they would begin their relationship.

10. Kowalski/Blowhole - This pairing is incredibly similar to the pairing of Skipper/Julian, mainly because Blowhole seems to have an obsession with teasing Kowalski. As with Julian/Skipper the two seem to be on opposite sides of a conflict and they both seem to have a personal rivalry with one another. This rivalry, combined with their many similarities to one another would normally allow them to be placed much higher on this list. The only flaw in this relationship is actually quite large. The teasing between these two tends to get a little extreme between the characters and Kowalski has a tendency to get violently angry at Blowhole's teasing, going as far as to beat his head against a brick wall possibly suffering brain damage) after one of Blowhole's teasing sessions.

Pairings explained in the next chapter:

11. Kowalski/Skipper

12. Marlene/Rico

13. Skipper/Mother Duck

14. Private/Marlene

15. Skipper/Rico

16. Private/Julian

17. Skipper/Kitka

18. Julian/Mort

19. Julian/Rico

20. Maurice/Marlene

Pairings explained in chapter 3:

21. Julian/Blowhole

22. Skipper/Mort

23. Private/Kowalski

24. Private/Rico

25. Skipper/Blowhole