Author's Note: Random drabble I came up with when I needed inspiration for another story. It's the first thing I uploaded to , so be gentle, please~
Love and chocolate,
~Mistress Monarch
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Dead.
Matt was dead.
My partner, my hit man, my techie, my best friend… my lover… my angel…
Dead.
Nothing else to it. Skin ashen, body broken and stripped naked, hair matted with gooey, almost dry blood. A single egg-sized hole in his temple, still bleeding.
I took a step back, the pistol falling from my hand as the shock flooded in.
Matt wasn't just dead.
I had killed him.
His empty eyes stared up at me, seeing nothing and everything at the same time. Seeing me, the monster who did this to him, looking back with icy, unfeeling eyes that started to cloud over with shock.
Matt's irises had once been as green as ivy, intelligent and laughing, littered with speckles of aqua. Now they had frosted over with death, pupils dilated and hollow, but full of fear at the same time. Fear I had inducted.
I killed my Matt. I murdered him.
I beat him ragged, and then did it again. And again, and again, and again. I slaughtered him emotionally, and then took advantage of him when he was weak. I used him, I raped him, and I cut him. When he tried to escape, I hurt him more. And then I killed him when he resisted.
Oh, Matt.
Memories flooded into my head so fast it was like an emotional dam had broken in my head. Every moment that I had spent with the gamer, good or bad, filled my head and made tears gather and fall down my pale cheeks. I remembered the time I told him at Wammy's that I would never, ever hurt him, and recalled clearly the redhead's favorite games, foods, T.V. programs, and even his favorite clothing fabric. I still tingled from his last hug, his last kiss, and our last time…
I put my fingers to my chapped lips, still feeling the buzz his smooth ones on mine, the warm sensation of his tongue caressing the roof of my mouth, his adoring smile as he pulls away, connected to me by a strand of glittering saliva.
Oh dear God… what have I done?
I crouched by the crumpled body, slipping my fingers through his tangled, shaggy hair. I was horrified when it came away dripping with still warm crimson liquid. I ran those fingers down his chest, feeling slight abnormalities where ribs were broken. I continued trailing my hand over him, mapping every scar and bruise and broken bone and twisted muscle, internally cursing myself a thousand times for each one. When I reached his hips, I was stunned at the amount of blood coagulated near his entrance.
Did I really do that?
I swallowed thickly, rolling him over from his fetal position onto his back. I latched my fingers at his hips, then pressed a kiss onto his cold, parted lips, then started to sob against them, hot tears rolling down my cheeks and onto his, bawling hoarsely as I wrapped his arms around him.
"Oh, my Mattie, I'm so sorry… So, so sorry… What have I done…"
A hoarse voice, barely a whisper, graced my ears and I shot up, my eyes wide.
"I… For- forgive you… Melly…"