For Whom the Diner Bell Tolls
Author: Ara May
Disclaimer: I own nothing except for some skewing of original plot lines.
A/N: This is my attempt at 'fixing' things starting from the end of Season 4. In my mind, this obviously includes some Jess Mariano in the mix. I should add that Arundel remains my focus, but this guy wanted to get out, so here we are.
Summary: "Thank me?" He was genuinely surprised. "What could you possibly thank me for?" Literati.
"So what did you get out this Kerouac trip of yours? Write the great American novel?"
I
He knew the moment he had moved to the small town that it was not a place that he would ever call home, but in the sense of it being where his family was, it became so by default. He was on a quest to make things right with his family. Jimmy, Liz, and Luke could now be crossed off his mental list. However, she was like family and now things were more fucked than before. Her rejection was still echoing in his mind as he sat on the ripped and worn fabric of his heap of a car, rethinking his fatuous plea, as he remained unmoving in the Yale parking lot. He rested his head on folded arms that were supported by the steering wheel. The darkness that had engulfed the campus did nothing to cosset the empty feeling of loneliness in his gut.
Seeing her with Dean made his thoughtful decision to fix things with her derail into something embarrassingly desperate that only fifteen minutes later, he had blocked out of memory. He sighed deeply, lifted his head and grabbed his keys from the passenger seat floor where he had violently thrown them upon his return. Placing them into the ignition, he froze before he could make movements to start the engine as the thought to go back crept into his mind. Hastily, he grabbed his keys and exited the car before he lost his nerve.
Her common room door was still open when he approached. She was sitting on a box, head in her hands. The sound of quiet whimpers and sobs seemed in place just to complete the sorry picture that would be his demise.
"Are you okay?" he asked, still in the doorway. He was afraid to step inside.
Red-eyed, she looked up and was indisputably surprised to see him standing there. "No." It came out in a whisper.
"I don't know what I was thinking," he admitted. They were still separated by the length of the room.
"That's nothing new," she muttered to herself. She then spoke more clearly as she gained her moxie, "It's always the same; you always leave. We can't ever have a conversation without either of us bailing. And yes, I'll admit it's me too. But you just can't make a proposition like that and have me take you seriously! You could change your mind and then—boom—I just gave up everything for nothing!" She was gesturing wildly with her hands throughout her rant. Suddenly, her arms went limp in her lap as she just stared at him with glossy eyes.
He took a tentative step into the room, silently asking her if it was okay. He examined her carefully as he ambled to an adjacent box. He checked its sturdiness before sitting down.
"Dean was here," Jess stated with shaky breaths as if it explained everything.
"Yes," Rory confirmed. "I don't owe you an explanation, but I was on this date. It was awful. I called him to save me—"
"—Seemed like there was more to it than that," he interrupted.
A beat. She realized that there was no point in lying. "He's dependable. Safe."
He nodded slowly, hearing the truth behind her words: He's everything you're not. "He's married. Did you think about that?"
She suddenly looked alarmed and got defensive, "How'd you know that?"
"I was at Doose's. He was there buying things for his wife."
"Oh."
"What the hell are you doing, Rory?"
Jess, who was now watching her squirm under the scrutiny of his judgments, was frustrated. He raked a hand through his hair and watched as water reached the brim of her eyes. His eyes memorized the pattern of freckles on her cheeks.
Her arms joined together as she meshed her fingers together. She was staring at her hands. "I've been lonely." The first tear fell.
"Don't," Jess pleaded as he simultaneously resisted the urge to touch her; to wipe away the stains caused by free-falling drops. "There are worse things to cry about. Not this."
"I know, but everything about this is wrong," Rory sniffled. "I think I'm falling for him again. But, you're right; he's married. Maybe it's because I'm lonely and he's always been there for me. Still, I'm already confused and now you're sitting here—on a box of my books—judging me. Tell me this isn't insane."
"So what if it is? There's nothing wrong with a fresh perspective."
She looked at him, eyes wide and ready for the truth. "Why'd you come here, Jess?"
"It wasn't my plan to ask you…that. Dean being here threw me off. I came here to—" he paused mid-sentence.
"To what?" she wiped away the straggling tears.
"To fix things with you. With us."
"How'd you plan to do that?"
He shrugged, "Say sorry. Go from there."
"And you thought everything could just go back to normal?" she asked. "An apology doesn't fix anything."
"I didn't think that," Jess stated. "Maybe it'd be a start though."
"A start?" she repeated.
"Just something in the direction of us being okay. If not, and you're as stubborn as I remember, I just want you to know I'm sorry. For all of it. I don't even expect forgiveness."
His sincerity almost caused her to smile, but she forced it back. "I'll let you know."
"Let me know—?"
"The forgiveness thing."
"Ah." A moment passed. "Do you want me to go now?"
"No." His eyebrows shot up in silent question before she continued, "I have to thank you first."
"Thank me?" He was genuinely surprised. "What could you possibly thank me for? I've probably fucked up your life more than anything."
"I wish it were that simple. It'd be easier to hate you." She tucked hair behind her ear. It was still short. He wasn't sure if he liked it. "You might have just saved me from doing something really stupid."
"Oh yeah?" Jess smirked and couldn't help himself when he continued, "How are you ever going to repay me?"
"Don't get cute."
"Huh."
"What?"
"You think I'm cute."
She rolled her eyes, "You know what I meant."
Jess stood up, happy with the sudden turn in the conversation. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "I should go now. I have a long drive," he said. "Can we talk soon?"
"Yeah, we'll talk soon."
II
Although her grandmother had invited her to traipse across Europe with her, Rory declined the invitation instead deciding to spend the few months of summer back in Stars Hollow with her mother. She had missed their daily bantering and daily trips to Luke's. The last year had taken its toll on their relationship. It had been a busy one for both Lorelai and Rory. After finishing her finals and moving back home, Rory's time with Lorelai was still limited as her mother was running around everywhere trying to do everything possible to keep the construction at the Dragonfly Inn on schedule for its opening.
After only two days in Stars Hollow, Rory had already adopted a new routine that was relaxed in comparison to her courses at Yale. Andrew offered her a job at the bookstore doing inventory once a week, but that wouldn't start until the following Monday. Today, she was completely free. Rory knew she should head to the inn to help Lorelai with the final details, but knowing Dean was probably there made her hesitant. She really wanted to avoid that situation if at all possible. They hadn't had time to talk about it, but Rory knew that if she could explain the situation to Lorelai, she'd understand. She decided to go to Luke's instead.
The diner bell tolled as she pushed the door open to an empty room. Luke came out from the store room, "Rory, hey."
"Hi, Luke." She greeted as she sat down at the counter.
The scruffy man fidgeted nervously, "Coffee?"
"Yes, please!" She snaked both arms underneath the surface where he was filling a large mug.
She took a sip as Luke put the pitcher away. He flipped around and leaned backwards against the far counter. "Summer been good so far?" he asked awkwardly.
"Well, it's only been a few days, but, yeah…good."
Luke nodded, "That's good. Uh, did you need something to eat?"
"Cheeseburger?"
"Coming right up." He disappeared into the kitchen. Rory knew he wouldn't be standing in there to watch the burger cook, but it did seem like he took a little extra time before coming back out.
Rory looked down at her coffee as he reentered the room. "Um, Luke?"
"Yeah?"
"Jess came to see me." Her eyes shot up to gauge his reaction. He didn't seem too surprised.
"Oh?"
Her eyes went back to her mug as she began to distractedly trace a finger around its rim. "Yeah." She let out a soft chuckle, "He asked me to run away with him."
Now he was surprised. "He did what?" Luke's voice was laced with a little anger.
Her tone was low, "It was kinda sweet. In that completely crazy 'Are-you-out-of-your-mind?' kinda way."
She looked up at him and he was smiling. "Sounds like Jess."
"I miss him sometimes," she admitted.
"I know you do." He reached across the counter and gave her shoulder a quick squeeze, "I'll go check on that burger."
III
Jess found an eviction notice on the entrance to his apartment three days after his return to the city. He had paid his portion of the rent, though his roommates were obviously just as dependable as they looked. Jess rolled his eyes as he unlocked the door and gave it a slight kick to keep it from sticking to the doorframe. Looking around, he could see most of his roommates' things were gone and what little he owned was piled onto his mattress in the far corner. He knew he didn't have enough money saved up or enough coming in from his shitty job to find a place on his own so he grabbed his duffle bag and started throwing his clothes inside. He collected his books and anything else worth keeping. After a few trips down to his car, he gave his keys to the landlord, and was moved out.
He sat in his car for twenty minutes and weighed his limited options. If his mother hadn't left her rent-controlled apartment for a life on the Renaissance circuit, the option of staying with Liz and T.J. would have been viable. However, the idea of living in a cramped one-bedroom with the newlyweds would never have been appealing. Jess started the engine with a heavy sigh and headed north to the place he had just left.
It was dark in the town when he arrived though the soft wind was warm. He could see the lights on in the apartment above the diner as he sat outside wondering why he ever thought this was a good idea. Jess got out of his car and crossed the street. He reached for the spare key on the doorframe and let himself into the diner where he hastily went behind the curtain and trudged up the stairs.
He knocked softly on the glass and heard footsteps come closer. The door swung open. "Jess?"
"Hey, Luke."
"What are you doing here?" He was dressed in his pajamas, obviously about to head to bed.
"I came back." Jess' face was serious.
"You were just here."
"Seems like my roommates forgot to pay their share."
"Jess—"
"I know it's too much to ask."
"It is," he agreed.
"I really have no other options."
IV
It was the day of the test run and the Dragonfly Inn was ready. Lorelai was pacing around frantically trying to find something else to do, but everything was ready—every frame on the wall perfectly level and every door attached to its hinge. She had forgotten what it was like to not be busy. The guests would be arriving any minute and the smells from the kitchen were fantastic. Undoubtedly, Sookie was going all out: serving three types of salads and five different main courses. The woman was insane.
Rory was in the dining room getting out some board games. Lorelai came behind her poking her daughter in the ribcage, "Kid, I did it!"
She turned around to see her mother beaming and gave her a hug, "I'm so proud of you, Mom!"
"I can't believe it either, it's so surreal."
"Better believe it, missy. Look around. This is all yours."
"It is, isn't it?" Lorelai scanned the room, a smile plastered to her face.
"Does this mean I get my mommy back?"
"Lost without me, were you?"
Rory shrugged casually, "You're the one who missed out on all the good gossip."
Lorelai feigned a pout, "You've been keeping stuff from me?"
"You've been busy, eye on the prize and all."
"Damn by stubborn determination. It's always a problem of mine," she shook her head. "Well, hey, you can tell mommy everything now!"
"Well—" Rory was interrupted as the front door opened and Taylor and Miss Patty walked in. "Show time!" Both Lorelai and Rory squealed in excitement before the older Gilmore paced to the front desk to greet her first guests.
"I can't believe you bought her flowers. When's the last time you ever got someone flowers?"
"Never. Now, shut up."
Jess was amused as they approached the Dragonfly, "C'mon, Uncle Luke. Admit there's something going on between you two now. The wedding. The hand-me-down self-help books. You're dating Lorelai."
"You're here one day and already on my nerves."
"You were bored without me. Admit it."
"No."
"You used to be more fun."
Luke rolled his eyes, "I didn't tell her you were coming, so I'm bringing them as a peace offering."
"Please, if I weren't here, those flowers would still be in your hand," Jess scoffed.
Luke stopped right before the two men climbed the stairs to the wraparound porch and looked Jess square in the eye. "How about you figure out your own crap, then we can discuss mine. Deal?"
Jess smirked, "Whatever you say, Uncle Luke."
Lorelai was handing a key to Kirk as Luke and Jess walked in. Jess watched as Luke smiled nervously, gripping the bouquet a little too tight. Once Kirk and Lulu headed upstairs, Lorelai stepped out from behind the desk and gave her full attention to the pair. "Hey, Luke. And wow, Jess is here. Hi, Jess."
Jess offered her a half-hearted smile, "Hi."
Luke spoke to Lorelai in a low tone as Jess walked away to look around the place. "Sorry I didn't say he was coming. He just showed up last night and I figured I'd tell you when you came by the diner, but then you didn't come by, and here we are." He just remembered the flowers and handed them to her, "Oh, these are for you."
She smiled as she took them, "Pretty!"
Jess found his way to the inn's small library. He noted it had a decent collection as he thumbed the spine of each volume. A lot of the books were leather bound new editions of classics. He reached for Catcher in the Rye. It was brand new and didn't have that musky library smell. He felt that one factor alone made it lose half its charm. He put it back on the shelf.
When he turned around he saw her staring at him behind a table stacked full of games like backgammon and Yahtzee. He knew he would run into her here, he just wasn't quite prepared yet as he forced himself to swallow.
"Hi," she spoke first.
"Hey." Rory's features were curious, obviously asking him what he was doing there without saying the words. He decided to answer her silent question as he wandered toward the dining room, "I was evicted from my apartment." She blinked slowly. "My roommates aren't the most responsible bunch," he added.
"Oh."
"Luke's letting me crash for a bit."
She twisted her bracelet around her wrist to distract herself. "How long are you here for?"
Jess shrugged, "Probably just the summer. Work at the diner, earn some cash and be on my way."
"Oh, okay."
"You mean that?" He raised an eyebrow, "That it's okay?"
She offered him a smile, "You don't need my permission. I don't own the town."
A/N: Review, please?