Rey's chest heaved and her stomach somersaulted within her. How long had it been?
The more she asked herself that question, the more distant it grew. Almost as though it had never happened.
Like Ben had never appeared to her, that unmistakable look of want, of need in his dark eyes. It pulled something out of her, something she'd never known she had. A desire equal to his own.
Like they'd never touched each other in more ways than one. Like the Force hadn't lain them bare, burning them to their deepest selves in the fire of a kiss.
How long?
As though they'd never lain together. As though he'd never been inside her, and she inside him. Like he'd never held her so close she thought she could live in his arms forever. Like he'd never breathed life into her skin with every lingering kiss, the feel of his tongue carving paths beneath her body's thick surface.
Now she knew it was true, that it had really happened. All of it. Every touch, every taste, every kiss, every breath, every whispered invocation of his name, and every star-shattering sensation it awoke within her. Though they hadn't been in the same room, though they hadn't really touched, somehow their Bond had allowed them to, letting them enter into-how had the Lanais put it?-a "fasting of souls."
Could people really do that? Fuse their souls together just by connecting their bodies in certain places, in certain ways? Without any help from the Force!
The more she thought about it, the more Rey wondered whether it had anything to do with the Force at all. Or everything.
Already, she could feel him grinding his teeth halfway across the galaxy, wordlessly begging her to stop overcomplicating it. It was far simpler than she realized, his mind groaned, They were "soul-fasted" as she called it, mated, in a more general sense. Mated before the Force.
Now who's over complicating the situation? she thought back at him.
His knowing, wolf-like grin sent shivers deep within her. Once again, her attention was drawn to the space below her stomach, the place nobody knew about. And all at once, she knew what had happened. Their "mating" had created something that was fast making its home in that secret space within her.
A mistake? her mind asked no one.
No, her heart answered her, a child. Yours and his.
"A child," Rey murmured to herself, "Mine and his. His and mine. Ours. Our child."
The shock hit them both like a tidal wave. Light years away, his stomach reeled from the force of her revelation. She nearly threw up herself.
Rey, he said, his voice trembling, are you sure? When only silence answered him, he said, Understand, Rey. You have to be absolutely certain.
"I am," she said aloud, the strength of her conviction echoing in her core, booming through his mind.
Then I must find you, he said. She could already sense his body preparing itself to depart. In his mind he was already there with her.
Are you sure? she asked without meaning to.
Yes, he said, and she knew that he was.
How?
He paused, the Force churning excitedly around him. I will find a way. I will find you. I promise. You have to find a place where we won't be found when I do.
It only took Rey a moment to think about it. How soon can you get to Ahch-To?
Ben paused again. The faintest smile sparked at the corners of his lips. I'll be there, he said.
Rey breathed slowly, her stomach quaking again, You better. I-, she steeled herself and bled the words into the Bond, I need you.
Her palsied fear brushed against him, and he felt it as sharply as she did. He had the same fear, and it had to be tamed if this was going to work.
His certainty filled him up now, overflowing, fear-drowning. Envisioning her in her room somewhere far away from him, he projected himself through space and time and whispered in her ear, I'll see you soon. I promise.
To say that Ben had never imagined himself as a father would be an understatement; the thought was as distant to him as a stranger in a crowd. In all the years of his life, it had never so much as crossed his mind until that very moment.
He felt as though he'd been trapped in a parallel body, oblivious to the most natural human instincts, starved of the longing for the bond of a family of his own. Yet here he was, preparing to leave, carrying only what he needed onto his TIE-silencer. He wouldn't dare fly out in anything bigger; the shuttle would be conspicuous to say the least, and he didn't want to have to travel with anyone but himself. His personal pilots would take him anywhere without question, but he prefered to eliminate the very real possibility of word reaching Hux that he'd left and where he'd gone. Besides, one of the many perks of being Supreme Leader was that he could leave whenever he wished and not even Hux needed to know where he went.
Two words ran through his mind as he acknowledged the hangar officer's salute with a slight nod and began powering up the silencer:
Rey
Child
Rey
Child
Then one word, just a name, as the fighter flew beyond the pull of the destroyer's tractor beam and jumped to hyperspace:
Rey
The only one that mattered. The only thing he cared about beyond his own survival, beyond the galaxy itself.
Rey.
How could he have let this happen? he thought. How could he have let things get so far? From a single touch of hands to a fasting of souls, as though it was always inevitable. As though it was their destiny.
But to do what?
To be together? Impossible! With a never-ending war between them, conflict ripping the galaxy apart-surely it would always find a way to keep them apart, leaving them with nothing but the agony of being ever-aware of what the other is feeling.
What then?
Was their destiny simply to have this child and protect it any way they could from the hell they now struggled to survive? How could any child grow up feeling safe and fulfilled in such a chaotic environment?
Impossible?
Perhaps not.
For now, Ben tuned out his inner maelstrom of thoughts and focused all his energy on one thing: getting to Rey.
She'd told him that she needed him.
When was the last time he'd felt truly needed by anyone? He barely understood what need meant when he was torn from his mother's arms to train with Luke, but even now he knew that she'd needed him then, if only to keep him safe, to love him. The thought nearly pinched a tear from Ben's eye, and he fought against it.
What did Luke ever need him for? The only thing Ben could think of was to not turn to the dark side and threaten the peace of the whole galaxy once again. He'd failed miserably at that, so he could only conclude that aside from just being his nephew, his uncle really didn't need him for anything.
His father needed nobody and nothing. All he needed was himself. Himself, his wife, his best friend, and his son. Nothing else really mattered to him.
Snoke had filled his head with lies, and over the years, Ben had deluded himself that he was somehow the antidote to the galaxy's disorder, the the galaxy needed his legacy, to rise above the ashes of the Empire and lead it to a New Order.
In his tireless pursuit of power, he'd let down nearly everyone who truly needed him. His uncle. His father. His mother.
Now, Rey needed him. Nothing else, not his legacy, not his power, not his mind or abilities. Just him.
And by the blood of his family, he would not let her down.