3/17/12 ~ 6/16/12

RUN

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto

A/N: MAN, I had WAY too much fun writing this story! Writing Naruto is rather difficult (for me, anyways XD) but VERY entertaining! Surprisingly enough, this fic really doesn't have any pairings – maybe a SMIDGE of NejiTen, although it is extremely subtle at best. This fic is basically an ode to humor, and Naruto's ability to stir up trouble . . . !

"Oi, Neji? Neji, hey- "

"Poke me one more time and you'll receive 64 in return" Neji coldly replied to Naruto's incessant bugging.

"Jeez . . . " Naruto grumbled, dragging his feet in the orange-brown dirt of the path home to Konoha. Neji silently gritted his teeth - Kami, why was that dim-witted unprofessional blond always tacked onto Team Gai's missions? Surely Tsunade-sama had learned from all the other occasions in which Naruto and Team Gai were forced to work together; The mission to Hoshikagure, where Naruto'd destroyed not only the very artifact they'd been sent to protect, but also killed the albeit evil client. The curry of life mission, of which Tenten had sworn never to discuss around him or anyone, yet a tiny part of him still lived in fear that she'd someday crack and leak his curry-phobia to the world. He shot her a glare, and she blinked confusedly back at him, appearing mildly miffed. Anyways, at least this most recent mission was finally over, and Neji could finally turn down his paranoia to its usual level. No longer would he have to constantly keep one wary eye on the swirling ball of reckless emotion otherwise referred to as Naruto. It helped that Lee and Gai-sensai were a good ways up the path by now, the result of another one of their impossible-to-achieve self-rules; this time it was "Let's get home in fifteen minutes (when it ought to take any seasoned ninja at least five hours at top speed and no breaks)!" As ridiculous as those challenges were, this one time Neji thanked his lucky stars that Lee wasn't able to add his own over-eager voice to the constant yelps of the orange-clad ninja currently sulking about.

Neji was broken out of his thoughts by the high-pitched wail of "Can we stop? My feet are tired."

Neji closed his eyes, let out one short fed-up sigh under his breath, and steadily answered "No."

That was by no means even remotely enough to shut Naruto up. "We've been walking since we finished the mission!" Naruto tried the 'incessant whining' angle.

"No." Neji walked faster.

Naruto puffed exaggeratedly to catch up. "Hey Tenten, don'cha think we should take a break too?" Naruto cast his giant blue-eyed gaze upon the bun-haired kunoichi.

Tenten kept looking straight ahead, loyally responding "If Neji says no, then no, since he's the team leader."

Neji's lips formed a tiny, unseen smile. He could always trust Tenten to back him up.

Naruto pouted, his attempt at recruiting an army to defy Neji having failed.

It was quiet for a good twenty minutes; Neji and Tenten found they now valued complete and utter silence on a whole new level; until Naruto's wide glassy blue eyes sparkled with a mischievous tell-tale gleam. He had a new idea.

Neji exasperatedly wondered if Naruto even cared about resting anymore; at this point, it looked like Naruto's only goal was coaxing a generous break time out of the stingy Hyuga.

Naruto launched his latest plan into action. Jogging up alongside Neji, he huffed "I need to go to the bathroom!" Neji halted for a split second, as if about to give in. He turned sharply to face Naruto, and glared at him for one long second. Naruto started to get a bit nervous, forgetting to hop about in panic as if he really did need to 'answer the call of nature'. Neji smirked, and spun around to face the road again. Precisely. It was all an act.

"Too bad." Neji haughtily returned, and continued down the road at a brisk pace.

"Fine! I'll just have to use that then!" Naruto screeched indignantly. Idly, Neji wondered what 'that' was. He soon found out.

Naruto leaped in directly in front of Neji this time. "Sexy-no-jutsu!" Naruto yelped smugly, and before Neji's admittedly slightly aghast brain could even begin to come up with theories as to what the hell that was, he found himself face-to-face with a shamelessly nude Naruto.

Who was now, suddenly, a freaking girl.

Naturally, the thought and visual image would've (and had) fazed many. But this was Neji Hyuga; he was calm, composed, and most importantly - had x-ray vision.

Neji's icy un-amused gaze locked with Naruto's smug blue one. Then, without a moment of hesitation, Neji walked right past Naruto, all the while effortlessly keeping his gaze well-above shoulder level. "Quit the ridiculous antics and keep walking. We have a lot of ground to cover." As Naruto gaped after him, eyes wide with shock, Neji suddenly halted. He turned and shot a cutting glare at Naruto's gobsmacked face. "And god's sake, turn that off."

Naruto instantly poofed back to the stocky orange-clad 12 year old he really was, and chased after Neji, closely followed by a rather stunned Tenten. Falling into step alongside the older genin, Naruto stared at Neji in awe. "WOW . . . even my good 'ole henge didn't get you? Man . . . everyone else always falls for that one . . . " Naruto mussed up the hair behind his head with his hand in a baffled manner before looking up at Neji again. "How'd you resist it?"

Neji rolled his eyes. "Seen it all before . . . " he uttered boredly, even twitching his hand dismissively. Naruto stopped dead in his tracks as Neji strode easily ahead again. "Wait . . . WHAT?! HOW?!" Naruto screeched and he trotted up to where Neji was. The older genin closed his eyes in exasperation for an instant, then muttered "Byakugan!" and turned towards Naruto. "Oh YEAH, you see through stuff . . ." Naruto mulled over that for a few silent seconds before his brain finally reached an important conclusion. His eyes that had been cloudy in thought cleared and glinted cheekily."Hold it - does that mean that every time you look at, I dunno, say, TENTEN, you can see through her clo-" Naruto's summation of the Byakugan's not necessarily practical uses was swiftly cut off by a bandage-wrapped palm. "Shut up!" Neji hissed, panic flashing for an instant in his eyes as he aimed a quick glance down the road towards the aforementioned kunoichi.

. . . Who was currently at a standstill, with shadowed-over eyes and a weapon-filled scroll in each dangerously twitching hand.

". . . NEJI . . . "

Naruto's voice shook. " N-Neji . . . she's . . . she looks . . . p-pretty . . . uh, mad . . . "

"RUN."

So they did.

A shower of sharp weapons, a good portion of which doused in lethal doses of poison, pelted after them.

_

A/N: And now, I shall leave the rest up to you readers' imaginations! Please tell me what you think of this story, especially if Naruto acted the way he should - it's my first time writing him! Thanks for reading this story!