4/30/17
"Ok yea so there's a ghost over there that'll be $19.99 no refunds fork it over bub, or do you want 19 years of bad luck?" Reigen swindled the poor Mexican couple that had walked in looking for a bathroom. "Poor is me..." The old burrito was about to hand him an illegal amount of pesos when Reigen's door was slammed open. "Oh hey Mob, I was just about to exorcise this here ghost over there!" Reigen pointed in the the corner of his office. Mob looked in the corner and hocked a loogie. "Mob?!" Reigen was confused and surprised, the Mexican couple eyed him up suspiciously. He then resumed his dignity and businessed up. "Heh, that's right folks, Mob's doing an ancient Chinese ritual that involves using one's spit to dissolve the ghost." Reigen smimed convincingly while waving his bimble bombles around. "In fact, ma'am...just one moment." Reigen smiled and shoved him and Mob into his office. Mob's eyes were dark. "Mob, buddy, what's the big idea? There are paying customers out there. I might have to cut your pay if this keeps u-" Mob grabbed Reigen by the throat with his telepathic powers. "What did you say...to me?" Mob monotoned unsympathetically. "Uh..uh Mob hey uh..." Reigen started gasping for air as Mob brought him up floating. "Hey hey forget what I said, it's cool, everyone has a bad day or two...I'll only reduce your pay by 72% instead of 75% how's that?" Reigen bargained. Mob's eyes grew darker as his hand clutched more. His grip tightened on Reigen. "Heh..." Mob smiled as a counter on the screen started counting upward percents. "Uh Mob, what is that little counter over there? What does that mean...?" Reigen choked. "It means, dear Master, that you're about to tell me the truth." Mob lowered Reigen down on the ground to his eye level, but still choked him. "Are you...a con artist?" Mob asked directly and emotionlessly. "Sigh...alright Mob I'll come clean...just let go." Reigen pleaded. Mob's percents slowed down and he released his death hold on Reigen. "Ah...thank you that's better..." Reigen gasped and regained his business side. He began pacing around the room. "One wrong move and I'll rip your head off, Master." Mob smiled like a villain, but with his one punch face. "Yea, yea I got it buddy." Reigen put his hands out assuringly then back behind his back before continuing to pace. "Ok Mob, you've caught me. I'm not really a psychic. I'm just a simple man, doing a simple job. A simple job that was going to keep my broke ass alive. When I was your age, I lived in the slums, and I had a kid brother. He died of leukemia before my 16th birthday. I had to swindle to survive." Reigen stopped pacing and looked Mob in the eyes before continuing. "You know, I'm not the most holy man, and I've broken a few laws. Getting in this building was no easy task. so FORGIVE ME if I'm not as heroic as you." Reigen paused in brief anger and slammed on his desk and continued, "I scammed so many people, I forgot who I was, I had become a monster. But then something changed. When this weird 14 year old psychic kid walked into my office." He paused before continuing. "At first, I thought I could swindle you and gain a few bucks, but you know, as time went on...I came to think of you as something more." Reigen turned back to Mob with shittily drawn tears. "You...Mob, had changed the heart of this, this bitter, cold, resentful man. You reminded me so much of my little brother, Mob. Such a pure, emotionless heart. It awakened the older brother in me." Reigen put his hands on Mob's now also shittily drawn teared face. "Mob, you may hate me, but I'll always love you." Reigen cried and hugged Mob. Mob also cried and hugged back Reigen. Reigen detached himself from Mob. Mob looked down for a moment to wipe his tears, "Master, I-" "SSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Reigen SMASHED through his office window in a Mario-esque pose. The narrator began, "this is one of Reigen's special moves, Cry and Crash, where Reigen reaches the absolute weakest emotional spot his opponent has and pummels their heart. Doing this allows him to grab the wallet of his opponent, and make a quick run for it before they regain their composure." "Heh, amateur." Reigen smiled, pocketing Mob's wallet. He ran into the nearest dark abandoned building at top speed. He panted. "Phew, welp, time to move somewhere else." Reigen took out his cell phone, but it was suddenly invisibly floating away from his hand. "Oh...oh no..." Reigen began sweating. He felt the presence of multiple people. "Who's there? Show yourselves!" Reigen put his hands up like karate kid. Thump. Thump. Thump. He heard the footsteps. Then he felt a big THWACK in the head and got knocked out. When he woke up, he was still in the building, but tied to a chair. "Wake up Master." Said a familiar monotone voice. "Uh oh...Mob, finally, now could you please untie m-" Reigen was met with a smack to the mouth with a baseball bat. "Heh, no you don't." Mob smiled viciously. "Mob, this isn't right! You're just a-" Reigen was cut off yet again. "A kid? Hah, with MY powers, I could be anything I wanted." Mob smiled, lifting an assortment of weaponry. "Ok, ok. I get what this is really about." Reigen paused for a long time. "I'll only reduce your pay by 71%." Mob's percentage counter instantly spiked past ? and Reigen was immediately, and mercilessly, repetitively baseball batted by thug Mob until he ded. "Heh, guess all that training in the self improvement fitness club finally paid off." mob posed sadistically showing off his mini muscles. The entire fitness club had been watching in the shadows and cheered for their new leader, White T. Mob smiled, leaving his dead master behind to go get some ice cream with his bros with Reigen's money.